GBH 2

To confess a truth that he couldn’t tell others, Kim Deuk-pal didn’t actually yearn for “university” itself but for a “life after graduating from university.”

A normal life of attending a university campus, graduating, working at a company, getting married, having children, and growing old. But since all he knew how to do was gangster work, he wondered if he could even get a proper job, let alone get married.

Some of his colleagues and subordinates met good women, left the gang, and got married, but such luck never came to Kim Deuk-pal. Even if he met some crazy woman, there were few things an uneducated Kim Deuk-pal could do after leaving the gang. Staying in the gang was the best option for him to maintain a semblance of a proper life.

University was only a part of Kim Deuk-pal’s regrets. And it was the only part he could achieve on his own after turning forty.

He wanted to live the life he had given up on, even if it was just for a year at university. No, even a month would be enough. Then he would have no regrets even if he died.

Not that having no regrets would matter when he was about to die.

Kim Deuk-pal was certain of his death. It was common to get stabbed or seriously injured while fighting to take control of a territory. Bleeding and losing consciousness in a situation where rescue was uncertain meant it was unlikely he would survive unscathed, something Kim Deuk-pal knew well from experience.

So what had happened to the boy who fell from the overpass?

The face looking down from the overpass seemed young, possibly a high school student. If Kim Deuk-pal had married and had children at the appropriate age, the boy would have been about that age. If a kid around the age of his child tried to jump off an overpass to die, Kim Deuk-pal would have turned the wheel even in the same situation.

But again, what use was any of this when he was already dead?

The faint murmurs he heard were like the bitter grumblings of the dead, and his strangely light body felt like it bore the weight of his soul. Despite his rough appearance, Kim Deuk-pal was emotional and superstitious.

He hadn’t seriously contemplated death, but if this was what it was like, it wasn’t so bad. He didn’t want to die, but part of him looked forward to it. In his next life, he wanted to go to school and live a normal, proper life.

He thought he would go to hell because of his gangster life, but apparently not. Kim Deuk-pal felt like he was lying wrapped in a white shroud. The brightness usually depicted as heaven in dramas seeped through his eyelids.

Now, was he just supposed to wait for the stairs to heaven to descend? Kim Deuk-pal, drenched in a strange sense of relief from ending his life, waited for his turn. For the high stairs that would unfold before him.

But life was never that easy.

The faint murmurs grew louder and soon shattered the peace of waiting for heaven.

“Hey, you bastard! After killing someone, you don’t even show your face?! Come out, you bastard! Come out and apologize!”

“Move aside, damn it! Pull him out! Don’t let him get away! Drag him in front of the boss!”

The familiar voices gave Kim Deuk-pal a sense of déjà vu. The rough tones were ones he had heard many times. Just by hearing them, he could picture his subordinates with grim expressions, shoving their way forward like bears.

Modern gangsters pretended to be refined, hiding their gangster ways. They dressed in suits, and on their way to a meeting, they would swing baseball bats they bought as if they were gifts for their nephews in street fights. When the fight ended or the police showed up, they would blend into the crowd to escape. They pretended to be elite, committing intelligent crimes to cheat others.

That’s why Kim Deuk-pal repeatedly warned them to keep things quiet and handle matters as discreetly as possible. If the authorities got involved, it became a major hassle, making all their efforts to disguise themselves as ordinary people pointless. But his hot-headed subordinates, unable to control their tempers, often caused disturbances.

Kim Deuk-pal, who lived and died by loyalty, couldn’t abandon his subordinates who got caught by the police. He couldn’t follow the boss who waved them off to rot in jail, so he secretly pulled them out of detention. He bought more tofu than cigarettes.

“He’s sleeping after killing someone! That bastard! How can you sleep?! Because of you, because of you, the boss…”

“Move aside, damn it! Hey, bring the tools!”

Once he started paying attention, the commotion became uncontrollable. Profanities were exchanged, and the door shook as if they were fighting. It was impossible to ignore. They had managed to keep quiet for a few years, but those thick-headed ones seemed to have forgotten his warnings to shut up before the cops showed up, and Kim Deuk-pal felt a surge of annoyance.

He was tired of using dirty tricks and bribes to get his subordinates out. Kim Deuk-pal pressed his already throbbing temples as he got up. He barely had time to feel the firm cushion of the bed before he stepped out.

The anesthesia and painkillers left from surgery, combined with the shock of the accident, had dulled his senses, and his mind was groggy. Kim Deuk-pal didn’t realize what was wrong. Unaware of the unfamiliar feel of the dry tiles under his feet, he pulled out the IV needle and walked.

“The patient is not in a state to understand! There’s no use doing this here!”

“Do you think we don’t know your men are hiding him?! Move! I won’t leave until I see with my own eyes!”

“Call the police!”

“Did we bring knives? Did we use fists? We’re just taking that bastard!”

“The patient inside needs absolute rest—!”

Drrrk-. Kim Deuk-pal finally opened the sliding door after dragging his feet. The sudden appearance of an unexpected person momentarily silenced the commotion. The hospital staff blocking the gangsters turned around in surprise, taking advantage of the gangsters’ momentary pause.

A hospital staff member who spotted Kim Deuk-pal leaning on the doorframe brightened up.

“The patient is conscious…!”

Kim Deuk-pal intended to scold his subordinates for harassing powerless civilians. He was especially disappointed in Kim Dong-soo, who was leading the gang. Seeing the guy who should be responsible for the subordinates in his absence instead inciting trouble, a displeasure born from disappointment welled up.

Kim Deuk-pal lifted his chin with the expression he usually wore after subduing an opponent. The contemptuous gaze he typically cast was possible because Kim Deuk-pal was taller than average. He tried to coldly rebuke Kim Dong-soo while looking down at him, but all he could see was around Kim Dong-soo’s collar. Something felt off.

“Move!”

To make matters worse, Kim Dong-soo grabbed him by the collar. As his direct subordinate who had always treated him respectfully now grabbed and dragged him, Kim Deuk-pal thought this bastard must have gone crazy, but was too shocked to shake off the hand. He was dragged helplessly. Stumbling like a paper doll, his big toenail broke as his bare foot hit the floor.

“Patient!”

The hospital staff tried to intervene, but other gangsters formed a human barricade with their shoulders. Arms in white uniforms flailed above the shoulders of the bulky men in black suits.

Kim Deuk-pal tried to loosen the grip on his collar. Even as he stumbled, unable to walk properly due to the force pulling him, he grabbed Kim Dong-soo’s arm. And finally, he realized what was strange.

The fingers were slender.

They weren’t the fingers with cracked calluses, scarred backs, and thick joints that bulged at the knuckles. The hand that gripped and scratched Kim Dong-soo’s forearm at Kim Deuk-pal’s will was white and slender. On the back of the hand, where the skin was so thin that veins were visible, bones stood out as the fingers moved. The hand, devoid of any calluses, suggested by its very appearance what kind of life its owner had lived. At least, not that of a gangster.

“Shit.”

At the low curse, Kim Deuk-pal suddenly came to his senses. The hand that had been barely resting on Kim Dong-soo’s forearm fell limply.

Kim Dong-soo stopped in front of the elevator. While he irritably pressed the button, Kim Deuk-pal could see his reflection in the shiny stainless steel.

An unfamiliar boy was standing there. A boy with a weak and sickly appearance that seemed to have no connection to Kim Deuk-pal. But he knew this boy.

Kim Deuk-pal reached out towards the elevator. Just as the boy in the stainless steel also extended his hand towards Kim Deuk-pal.

“Come here.”

As the elevator in the lobby slowly ascended, Kim Dong-soo yanked the boy’s collar and headed down the emergency staircase next to the elevator.

Thanks to Kim Dong-soo grabbing his collar, Kim Deuk-pal was dragged along without falling. The boy was skinny to the point where his bones protruded, and his muscles were thin. Having just regained consciousness after surgery, he had no strength in his limbs. Kim Dong-soo showed no mercy as he descended the stairs, even as the boy’s knees kept buckling.

As the bare feet in hospital gown descended the stairs, they became blackened with dust. Blood beaded on the heels that slipped from not properly stepping on the stairs, and on the tops of the feet that hit the edges. However, this pain was merely a sensation confirming Kim Deuk-pal’s body.

Vivid pain, labored breathing, and white-blurred vision. Kim Deuk-pal had never experienced such a state before, though it was his current reality.

Why had he seen the image of the boy hanging from the overpass railing in the elevator door?

Why was he so out of breath?

Was it because his current appearance resembled the boy’s that Kim Dong-soo grabbed him by the collar?

Then… the real me? The real Kim Deuk-pal?

Feeling a premonition that he shouldn’t follow this path, Kim Deuk-pal barely managed to grab the railing. Gripping the thin rod connecting the handrail to the stairs and sitting down, he was able to prevent Kim Dong-soo from dragging him away.

Bloodshot eyes stared at the round crown of the boy’s head. Kim Dong-soo kicked the boy’s wrist with his shoe, making him release his grip on the bars, grabbed his collar, and pushed him against the wall.

Boom-!

Kim Deuk-pal opened his mouth in pain as agony pierced his upper body from his back. Kim Dong-soo pressed his forearm against the boy’s collarbone, leaning in close. Dried tear marks crackled under his eyes.

Only then did Kim Deuk-pal notice what he hadn’t seen before: Kim Dong-soo’s haggard face, dark circles under his eyes, his black tie and suit disheveled. The reason for Kim Dong-soo’s gathering of subordinates and causing a commotion became faintly clear.

“Ugh…”

“You little bastard.”

Since it wasn’t Kim Deuk-pal, Kim Dong-soo mercilessly squeezed the boy’s neck.

“You jumped off, didn’t you? That’s why the accident happened, right? Someone died because of you, and you don’t even show up? Are you even human? Because of a shitty bastard like you, our boss, our boss…”

The hand gripping the collar trembled. Bloodshot eyes twisted as Kim Dong-soo drew back his fist. Filled with resentment, sorrow, and rage, Kim Dong-soo swung his fist at the boy who looked like Kim Deuk-pal.

But the punch aimed at his cheek barely grazed the hair by the boy’s ear and hit the wall. As his skinned knuckles slipped, Kim Dong-soo slowly collapsed.

“Ugh, uh, sob…”

His shoulders shook violently on the floor, soon turning into sobs. Looking down at the weeping Kim Dong-soo, who cried like a child, Kim Deuk-pal, still in the boy’s form, also slid down the wall.

“Boss… uh, sob…”

The sound of crying echoed in the stairwell of the tall building. Sitting in the narrow space between the wall and Kim Dong-soo, Kim Deuk-pal, who had folded his skinny legs, lifted his hand. His thin wrist, as if it could be caught in a single grasp, trembled slightly but clenched into a fist at his will.

No matter how many times he repeated it, reality didn’t change. The thin and weak hand that looked like a fire poker was now Kim Deuk-pal’s own hand.

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