BHB 14

“Why did you drink so much just because you fought with Lee Taegang? Don’t you know you could die if you drink like that?”

“…Is this your house?”

“Whose else would it be? Here, I’ll give you some clothes, so wash up and come out.”

Do Youngjae threw a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants he had prepared.

“What happened to me yesterday?”

“What do you mean what happened? You were just a nuisance. Drank alone until you passed out. Wow, I almost died bringing you here. I was tempted to just leave you on the street.”

Seeing Youngjae’s angry expression, Yeowon felt guilty and could only smack his lips. He was embarrassed by the trouble he had unintentionally caused.

“Hah…”

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. He had never drunk to the point of losing consciousness before. Yesterday’s events must have been quite shocking.

“Just go wash up for now. My mom says to come eat.”

“Your mother is here?”

“Yeah. It’s the weekend.”

Yeowon tensed up, his face stiffening. He never knew how to act around people old enough to be his parents. They were difficult for him to deal with.

Yeowon quickly went to where Youngjae directed him, washed up, and came out. Being about the same height as Youngjae, the clothes fit him reasonably well. As he came out in comfortable clothes, he saw a middle-aged woman, presumably Youngjae’s mother, standing in front of the kitchen table.

“Are you Yeowon?”

Youngjae’s mother, wearing an apron, had an ordinary appearance with nothing particularly striking about her, but she also had that warm atmosphere that only people of her age could possess. At first glance, she didn’t seem to resemble Youngjae, but upon closer inspection, her thick eyebrows and double-lidded eyes were just like Youngjae’s.

“Ah, yes. Hello.”

Yeowon bowed at a 90-degree angle, his face tense. He felt even more uncomfortable, feeling like he had inconvenienced the family from early morning.

“I’ve heard a lot about you from Youngjae. He says you take good care of him.”

“Ah… no. I’m the one who’s been relying on him more.”

Yeowon found adults difficult. Perhaps because he had never properly communicated with them, he especially tensed up when seeing people old enough to be mothers or fathers.

“What do you mean by relying? Hey, don’t be so stiff, sit down.”

Youngjae, already seated at the table, nodded at the frozen Yeowon, gesturing him to come quickly. Yeowon awkwardly took a seat next to Youngjae. In front of him was steaming rice and soup with bean sprouts floating in it. The savory smell had been stimulating his appetite since earlier. He usually didn’t eat breakfast, but the unfamiliar food smell was very enticing.

Meanwhile, Youngjae spoke to his mother, who was serving food, as if boasting:

“Mom, he bought me Hanwoo (premium Korean beef) recently.”

“Such an expensive thing? How does a student have that kind of money?”

“He’s rich. So he often buys me things.”

“Do you just mooch off him?”

“I don’t have money.”

“Sheesh.”

At Youngjae’s immature words, his mother smacked him on the back.

“Oh my, we don’t have much to offer here. I heard you live alone. Come by sometimes, I’ll give you some side dishes.”

“Ah, no. That’s okay.”

Pushing a grilled yellow croaker towards Yeowon, his mother said with a friendly smile:

“It must be so hard to cook for yourself at that age. Just looking at you, it doesn’t seem like you eat well. Your face is thin.”

“He’s handsome, isn’t he?”

“Indeed. He has a bright face. I thought he might be a celebrity.”

Youngjae chimed in excitedly at the embarrassing compliments. Yeowon, unable to join in smoothly, just let out an awkward laugh and quietly looked at the food in front of him. It was full of warmth.

“Aren’t you eating?”

When Youngjae’s mother, who had been chatting casually with Youngjae, asked, Yeowon picked up his chopsticks with a focused expression.

“No… I’ll eat well. Thank you for the meal.”

“Good. Eat a lot. The side dishes are a bit sparse since it’s breakfast, but what kind of meat does Yeowon like?”

“This is more than enough. It seems like a lot already.”

Kimchi and bean sprouts, doenjang jjigae and grilled fish. A simple fried egg and braised potatoes. To Yeowon’s eyes, it looked like a feast. It had been so long since he had eaten such a home-cooked meal that he could barely remember. The only food he ate at home was either bought or prepared by an unknown housekeeper and left in the fridge.

Yeowon took a big spoonful of warm rice and put it in his mouth. Even though his stomach was in turmoil, he couldn’t not eat. It would have been impolite to refuse, and the food looked extremely appetizing. And there was something… a warm feeling he had never experienced before. The kind of feeling he had imagined once or twice. This was that kind of family home. A moderately sized house with a cozy atmosphere, casual conversation between parent and child, home-cooked meals prepared by hand.

“Where’s Dad?”

“Morning soccer club.”

“He’s really into it these days.”

“Oh, he can’t even score a goal but he’s so enthusiastic.”

Yeowon quietly focused on his meal while listening to the conversation between mother and son. As he ate bite by bite, he gradually picked up speed. He scooped up a spoonful of rice at a time and picked up several side dishes to put in his mouth. The more he ate, the more his appetite seemed to grow.

“Hey, eat slowly. No one’s going to take it away.”

“Yes, child. Drink some water too.”

The mother and son spoke with worried looks at Yeowon, who was ruthlessly stuffing food into his mouth. At their words, Yeowon realized he was inhaling the food ravenously. After swallowing the food that filled his mouth, he awkwardly spoke.

“It’s just so delicious…”

“Someone might think you’re starving to death.”

Do Youngjae glanced at Yeowon with a dumbfounded expression. He seemed amazed that Yeowon, who lived in the most expensive mansion near the school, didn’t work part-time jobs, and spent money freely, was eating like a homeless person.

“That’s not how you usually talk to your friend. Yeowon, eat a lot. If you need more, just say so.”

Do Youngjae’s mother, seeming pleased that he was eating well, smiled warmly and pushed more side dishes towards Yeowon. Yeowon nodded and continued eating. He knew his behavior was funny, but his hand moved on its own as if drawn by a magnet.

It was delicious. It was a meal he had never experienced before. Whether it was because he was starving or because it reminded him of the empty house from before, he kept eating endlessly. Hunger and loneliness seemed to be just a hair’s breadth apart.

**

After finishing the immensely satisfying meal, Yeowon offered to do the dishes, but Do Youngjae’s mother said guests shouldn’t work and pushed Do Youngjae towards the sink with a pat on his back. The dishes were Youngjae’s job, and meanwhile, Yeowon ate the fruit his mother had prepared. Even then, she put pieces of peeled fruit into her son’s mouth as he was washing dishes. Yeowon watched this scene appreciatively while eating his fruit.

Neither he nor Taegang ever had parents like this. Their parents were completely different, but they had one thing in common. Lee Taegang grew up in violence, while he grew up in neglect. The common point between these two was loneliness. A loneliness that felt like having no parents even when they were there.

That’s why Yeowon hated being alone. He hated eating alone, playing alone, sleeping alone. He needed as many friends as possible. Friends were all he could keep by his side. He made friends that could be replaced by anyone at any time and called them when needed. The more, the better. Although it didn’t solve his fundamental loneliness, it was his way of living.

Among them, Taegang was especially special. An irreplaceable friend. A friend whose existence was indispensable to each other.

He had been realizing lately. That he was relying on Lee Taegang more than he thought. That’s why, as Do Youngjae said, he couldn’t naturally accept what he should have accepted.

“Hey, want to go to the PC room?”

Do Youngjae, who had finished washing the dishes, approached Yeowon, who was sitting awkwardly, and asked. It was barely past 1 PM.

Yeowon didn’t feel like going to a PC room in broad daylight, so he made a different suggestion.

“Instead of the PC room, why don’t we go to my place?”

“Oh, sure. I was curious about it anyway.”

“I have game consoles, we can play those.”

Do Youngjae excitedly went to his room to get his coat.

Receiving the mother’s send-off telling them to come again, Yeowon bowed 90 degrees once more. When he politely thanked her again for the meal, she smiled warmly at his honest manner.

I want to come again.

He had eaten two bowls of rice and emptied the soup bowl without leaving anything. It was just one meal, but it was fun to watch the mother and son, and it felt good to indirectly experience being cared for.

Yeowon thought to himself as he hailed a taxi right in front of Do Youngjae’s house and headed home.

On the way home, Lee Taegang suddenly came to mind. I wonder if he ate… It was an obvious worry. After parting like that yesterday, even worrying felt like a luxury, but it was a habitual thought. He probably wouldn’t be home anyway, since he said he was going to see that senior.

‘We’re not dating.’

Suddenly, the image of Taegang speaking bluntly came to mind. That statement was more shocking. If he had said they were dating, he would have thought, “Of course,” but it was funny that they would do such things at school when they weren’t even in a relationship. It was incomprehensible how they could stick together like dogs without any feelings. Even if Taegang didn’t, that senior seemed different. The tender face pleading Taegang for a kiss was still vivid in his mind.

Even though Taegang was known to be wild, he never thought he would be promiscuous with such issues. Having s3x without feelings, isn’t that what they call friends with benefits? There were a few guys in high school who talked about having such partners, but he thought it was just a story from another world. Even without a girlfriend, there were plenty of potential partners if he wanted, so Yeowon couldn’t understand why someone would have a relationship for that purpose alone.