GBH 104

“Sorry, it must be tough.”

Though she felt a bit better after wetting her throat, Park Yoon-he couldn’t bring herself to say it was fine, even as a white lie. When she had first agreed to participate with Se-kyung, she thought it might become a special memory, but she never imagined it would turn into an unforgettable mess like this.

“Se-kyung, are you perhaps…” Her trailing words were met with a concerned gaze. 

Park Yoon-he looked over at Song Yi-heon, who was drinking water with Kim Yeon-ji at a distance. Visibly upset and panting, Yi-heon was tilting his head back, gulping down water. While their side had only rolled on the field once thanks to Se-kyung’s support, Yi-heon’s side had fallen multiple times, his uniform shirt now stained sand-colored and likely gritty with sand under his clothes.

Feeling more wronged, Yi-heon crushed the water bottle that was over half empty. Still not pacified, he tilted his head back, his heated chest heaving. Exaggeratedly speaking, it looked like he might breathe fire, and Yoon-he could fully empathize with his feelings.

This was Park Yoon-he’s first time seeing Song Yi-heon. She had heard rumors from friends last year, but had only thought, “Oh, there’s a guy like that,” and left it at that. She had only paid attention to him because he was always with Se-kyung, whom she had a crush on.

Even to Yoon-he, who didn’t know Yi-heon well, there was no other way to describe it but bullying. She never knew Se-kyung could be so petty and childish, putting so much effort into tormenting someone. She was confused if this was really the mature Choi Se-kyung she had known since entering high school.

“What?”

As she kept looking at Song Yi-heon after calling out, Se-kyung addressed her. In that brief moment, Yoon-he decided it wasn’t her place to interfere and changed her words.

“Nothing. Se-kyung, have some water.”

She offered the water bottle she had drunk from without touching the rim, but Se-kyung refused. His lips were dry and parched, likely all the way into his mouth, but Se-kyung wasn’t waiting for nearby Yoon-he, but for Song Yi-heon who was approaching with heavy steps from afar.

As Se-kyung reached out towards the crumpled water bottle, Yi-heon roughly threw it at his chest. Se-kyung caught it before it fell and put the bottle’s mouth to his lips, tilting it.

“What are you trying to do? Why are you picking a fight?”

“Is this even worth fighting over?” Se-kyung wiped his moistened lips after drinking every last drop. “Does it even affect you in the slightest?”

“You think it doesn’t?” Song Yi-heon spread his arms, as if to show how he had rolled around the field like it was a retreat. 

If it had been a real retreat, he might have been prepared, but he had just been trying to have fun and win a prize when this happened. He didn’t win the prize, rolled around in the blazing sun, and even lost the Bluetooth earphones he had been aiming to give to Choi Se-kyung.

When Yeon-ji had explained about the noise-cancelling feature built into the Bluetooth earphones, Yi-heon had thought of Se-kyung. He had expected Se-kyung to be surprised and smile shyly if he gave them to him, and had even stooped to playing rock-paper-scissors with Kim Yeon-ji for it. But Choi Se-kyung had ruined all that.

However, Se-kyung, who couldn’t even remember what the first prize was, could only think of Song Yi-heon’s hand supporting Yeon-ji’s thigh. Though not yet of legal age, their fully grown bodies were closer to men than boys, sensitive to physical contact.

“If I really wanted to provoke you, I would have done this.” Once again, his mouth moved on its own, swept up in jealousy. Mockery he had never done under Choi Myung-hyun’s control was now brandished like red claws.

“You call yourself a man, lusting after women.”

A chorus of gasps was heard from around them. It was the simultaneous sound of surprise from onlookers who had been gathering, sensing a fight brewing. The fact that it was Choi Se-kyung speaking was also shocking.

“Watch your mouth.” Song Yi-heon warned, his eyes twitching slightly.

“Yi-heon, do you enjoy flirting with other girls?” Se-kyung’s crescent eyes, filled with overt mockery, scanned Yeon-ji as if appraising her. Yeon-ji was helping Park Yoon-he stand up. “Your taste is really…”

Yeon-ji was ordinary, with no rough edges in appearance or personality. If she had had some irreplaceable charm, it might have been easier to give up. But the sense of inferiority stemming from her ordinariness made Se-kyung feel useless. His handsome appearance, brilliant mind, and well-balanced physique suddenly seemed inferior to Yeon-ji’s ordinariness, just because she was on Song Yi-heon’s back.

Experiencing inferiority for the first time in his life, Se-kyung surrounded himself with thorns like a rose to avoid feeling shabby. His red lips twisted in mockery, “How cute.”

It wasn’t said because he genuinely found her cute. Unable to find anything praiseworthy, he chose the most common and nondescript word just to say something, rather than speak the truth. His mocking tone also made clear his intention to belittle Yeon-ji.

Song Yi-heon had learned to read such nuances while living among students.

“Choi Se-kyung.”

Yi-heon stiffly spread his fingers, consciously trying not to clench them into a fist. He had endured when Se-kyung shoved him and made him roll on the field, but it was difficult for the fiercely loyal I-heon to pretend he hadn’t heard his friend being insulted.

“…”

Despite being the one who had spoken insultingly, Choi Se-kyung bit his lower lip as if he was the one hurt. Having done all the mischief, when Song Yi-heon actually took Kim Yeon-ji’s side, Se-kyung felt devastated as if his world had collapsed. Between his long eyelashes covering his downcast eyes, a defeated soldier-like despondency shone through. However, he couldn’t surrender just like this.

“…If you cared about me even a little, you couldn’t have done this.”

“Speak so I can understand.” Not knowing what was bothering him to complain like this, Yi-heon stepped a foot closer to his chest. “I’ll listen, so speak clearly.”

Se-kyung, who had been staring down, bent his waist. Soft earlobes, fine hair, skin still radiating heat, and the dry sandy smell. Se-kyung, maintaining distance to avoid touching Yi-heon’s skin, felt miserable.

“No matter how much you dislike me, you didn’t need to carry another girl on your back the day after kissing me.”

“Is she a girl?” Yi-heon retorted as if dumbfounded, and Se-kyung looked bewildered as if to say, if not a girl, then what?

To Yi-heon, Kim Yeon-ji didn’t even come close to the category of ‘girl’, but Se-kyung had no way of knowing that. Even if he did know, Yeon-ji, who had been close to Yi-heon since the beginning of the first semester, was a thorn in his side. At this time when he had to keep watching Yi-heon, his mood twisted, even the smallest thorn embedded under his skin, refusing to come out and digging into his flesh, hurt Se-kyung.

“Ah, come on, just for this…”

However, Yi-heon ran his hand through his short hair, incredulous that all this fuss in broad daylight was just because he had carried Kim Yeon-ji. His hair, wet with sweat and covered in dust, stood up messily. It was a habit Yi-heon showed when he wanted to gloss over a situation due to a headache or embarrassment. And Se-kyung recognized this habit.

“So this is ‘just’ to you, Yi-heon.”

Despite having moistened his throat sufficiently, a metallic sound came from his parched, cracking voice. In the sea of jealousy, a sense of betrayal sizzled as if electrified. It was ‘just’. It was ‘just’. Se-kyung had become ‘just’ a nuisance to Song Yi-heon.

“Hey, that’s not what I-“

“Right, it’s ‘just’ to you. You make everything into nothing.”

Distorting Yi-heon’s traits that he had once held in high regard and dismissing them as flaws, Se-kyung attacked Yi-heon as much as he himself had been hurt. Wanting to convey the pain he had received, Se-kyung’s tone became more caustic as his dark eyes sank and his inflection disappeared.

“Were all my confessions until now ‘just’ too? Is that why you rejected them so casually?”

“Choi Se-kyung, I told you to watch your mouth.” Song Yi-heon, who had been momentarily stunned, was now gradually boiling over. 

However, Yi-heon retained more reason than Se-kyung. They were in the middle of the schoolyard, bustling with the entire student body. Around them, students loitered, curious if a fistfight would break out, and Yeon-ji, supporting Yoon-he, seemed ready to intervene, pushing sand with the toe of her sneaker.

If they weren’t going to come out as gay in front of the whole school, they needed to move.

“Follow me.”

“…”

The hand that rose to grab Se-kyung’s collar, who was resisting, curled like a claw near his tie knot. Instead of his collar, Yi-heon grabbed Se-kyung’s limp hand and pulled. Where Se-kyung was dragged, resisting, long lines like ski tracks were left. If the size difference had been manageable, he might have tried to carry him off, but Choi Se-kyung was too big to throw over his shoulder.

“So, are you going to stop seeing me over ‘just’ this?”

“…”

“I can’t let you go. Come with me.”

A spectacle unfolded where Song Yi-heon, who just last year seemed like he would be stuck at the bottom of the food chain, was now leading Choi Se-kyung, who should have reigned at the top.

The walking path where female students usually circled during lunch breaks was deserted due to the event. Only after looking around to ensure they were alone at the end of a flowerbed, its leaf edges starting to dry in various colors, did Yi-heon release Se-kyung. Outside the low fence separating the shopping alley from the school, a delivery motorcycle passed by with its engine noise.

As the noise from inside and outside the school faded away, Se-kyung, now somewhat calmer, blamed Yi-heon with less sharp words than before, “I can endure everything. I know I’m overstepping my bounds. But… you could show some consideration, couldn’t you?”

Se-kyung didn’t want to hear Yi-heon’s side. If he had been in the mood to rationally resolve things through dialogue, he wouldn’t have picked a fight in front of others.

“At least you could avoid doing it in front of me.”

Listening to Se-kyung’s plea, Yi-heon stared at him with an unreadable expression.

“You didn’t need to do that in front of me, who can’t do anything.”