TIN 71

I couldn’t pour out my resentment. Every time that thought came to mind, I would inevitably wake up. Unlike the dream where I was with someone, the solitude that greeted me in reality was nearly unbearable this time.

So, in the early dawn hours when I could no longer sleep, I habitually went downstairs to find the painting on the wall. Toward the cherished memories of the sea at sunset, a warm and cozy scenery that was once as ordinary as daily life in my childhood, where only the sound of crashing waves could be heard.

Yes, just like now as I staggered out of the room.

“…”

The dimly lit corridor, without a single light on, was illuminated only by the faint moonlight. I blinked blankly, staring at the vast painting spread out before me. My mind was excessively quiet, having just woken up.

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness enough to distinguish outlines, the brightest parts of the painting gradually began to materialize before me. The setting sun in the distance, the straight horizon, even the shaded parts under the majestic clouds.

Belatedly, I could breathe easier. Here, where there was neither the child chasing after me nor Yoon Ji-soo embracing me, only the sea created in oil paints and I existed. The feeling of briefly escaping reality was one of the reasons I came here every day.

“…I guess it’s fortunate that at least this is here.”

I wanted to touch the painting but couldn’t bring myself to reach out. Not because I was worried about damaging it, but because I didn’t want to confirm that it was a fake.

Instead, I crouched down on the floor, hugging my knees. Looking up at the sky from the lowest position gave me the illusion of returning to my childhood for a moment. To those times when I would collect seashells alone, or watch seaweed washed up by the waves. Or to those times when I would listen to the sound of waves with the child.

When will I be able to leave?

When I lived with that person, I didn’t even know about the existence of 4HAE Group. On an island separated from the mainland, news from the mainland didn’t really reach us. Conversely, news from the island wouldn’t reach the mainland either, so wouldn’t that be the perfect place to hide?

So I planned to return to the island with Yoon Ji-soo as soon as I found her. I intended to cross the sea by any means necessary and live on a small island, just like during mychildhood days.

“That’s only if I find her…”

I rested my chin on my arms wrapped around my knees and absently looked up at the sky in the painting. Due to recent overexertion, I felt a tingling muscle pain starting from my waist. Since I couldn’t sleep anyway, I planned to kill time like this and wait for the sun to rise.

In my now awake mind, the last words that person said came back to me.

‘Never get caught…

“…”

‘Live.’

I naturally realized as I grew older that we had been living in hiding. On a small island where you could see in every direction if you wandered around all day. On that isolated land, Yoon Ji-soo lived without interacting with anyone.

Then why…

Why did we have to live in hiding?

“…They say she was abandoned by her family.”

It was frustrating that there were so many incomprehensible parts that I couldn’t investigate one by one. I couldn’t find any trace of Yoon Ji-soo herself, and I couldn’t assume that everything Joo Do-hwa said was true. I tried to think during my alone time, but the results were meager compared to the information that had flowed in.

Should I just ask directly? About who Yoon Ji-soo was, who the beta was that she supposedly fell in love with. And how you, Joo Do-hwa, came to know such things.

Joo Do-hwa wasn’t a fool, and by now he must have noticed something was amiss. Even if he couldn’t be certain about the relationship between Yoon Ji-soo and me, he must have at least vaguely guessed. If so, pretending not to care would clearly be futile and ridiculous.

So if I could get information from him while he was giving it anyway…

“Big dreams you have there.”

“…”

I flinched, my shoulders jerking. It was because of the sudden voice from behind. Clutching my chilled chest, I lifted my head to see a long shadow looking down at me from above.

“I told you, I can’t give you this painting.”

The one speaking indifferently was Joo Do-hwa, who had been standing behind me for some time. Dressed in comfortable clothes rather than a suit, Joo Do-hwa bent down with his hands in his pockets.

“Why are you out here instead of sleeping?”

I could ask him the same thing myself, but didn’t.

It was a time when he should have been asleep, and from past experience, he wasn’t the type to wake up in the middle of the night. Even if he couldn’t sleep, he didn’t like the sea enough to always come here to look at the painting like I would.

“Being mute again, I see.”

When I didn’t answer, he raised the corner of his mouth crookedly. Even in the darkness, his golden eyes shone too vividly. Just like the sun depicted in the painting.

For a moment there, as his face seemed to overlap with that of his childhood self, I swallowed dryly and opened my mouth.

“…I couldn’t sleep, so I came out.”

“Scared of the dark?”

I couldn’t answer the question he so lightly tossed at me. It was partly true, if not entirely. I didn’t know what he felt from my reaction, but he snorted while looking at me.

“That’s why I asked why you insist on sleeping alone.”

It wouldn’t be much different from sleeping with you. It would be fortunate if I didn’t stay tense all night, carrying a different kind of anxiety. Even now, I was nervous that he might follow me and tell me to undress.

“Don’t do anything foolish and go back to your room to sleep. If you like the sea that much, just look in a mirror.”

However, instead of arguing further, Joo Do-hwa roughly concluded the conversation. As if he hadn’t come out with any particular purpose and now had nothing more to say, he straightened his posture.

As he turned to leave, I found myself getting up unsteadily and calling out to him.

“Do-hwa.”

He momentarily paused in his steps. The sudden call surprised not only Joo Do-hwa but me as well. I had opened my mouth without thinking and was startled.

“No, I mean…”

It slipped out of my mouth just after I had resolved to ask Joo Do-hwa everything. Since gathering information was all I could do in this mansion, I acted hastily, thinking now was my chance..

What should I do? I pondered briefly, but it was already spilled milk.

“I have something I’m curious about…can I ask?”

“…”

His bright yellow eyes stared at me intently. He didn’t even blink, let alone tell me to ask. Seeing him frozen stiffly, I had no other choice but to pause and ask again.

“…What’s wrong?”

“You’re asking what’s wrong?”

A hollow laugh escaped his reddish lips as if in disbelief. He chuckled and roughly brushed back his fallen bangs.

“It’s the first time. Since that party, it’s the first time you’ve spoken to me first, hyung.”

“Ah.”

I sighed as soon as I heard his direct words. Was that so? I hadn’t had anything particular to say, but hearing it now, I realized it must have been obvious. I had kept my mouth shut to avoid making unnecessary mistakes, and all that came out was a groan.

“Okay, so what are you curious about?”

He asked in a generous tone as if it didn’t matter. Perhaps due to the early hour, his unusually low voice had softened.

Knowing it was an abrupt topic, I still cautiously asked him, “Yoon Ji-soo…what did she originally do?”

“Ah, Yoon Ji-soo.”

His slightly parted lips curved into a smile. He didn’t question the random topic, nor did he mock me for no longer pretending not to know. He just muttered as if this was expected.

“You held out for a long time.”

His face, smiling as if amused, held that usual mischief and interest. He tilted his head to one side slightly and asked with a hint of laughter in his voice, “What will you do for me if I tell you that?”

It was a question that I had fully anticipated, but actually hearing it left me at a loss for words. Not because I was flustered, but because I couldn’t gauge what I should say.

This was why I hadn’t asked anything despite feeling frustrated all this time. Simply because I had nothing to offer him in return. I had given Theo a kiss, but the man before me didn’t seem like he would desire such contact.

However, this was all I had to offer.

“I’ll suck you off.”

“Wow, how vulgar.”

Joo Do-hwa immediately exclaimed at my calmly delivered words. His exaggerated exclamation, as if he was about to applaud, quickly turned into cold criticism.

“So this is how you’ve been living all this time.”

I wasn’t ashamed. It was indeed a vulgar thing to say. I had said it with the mindset that I had nothing to lose, but I didn’t think he would accept it readily.

“You should be more selective about who you make such proposals to.”

Joo Do-hwa shrugged his shoulders and reached out to me. His slow-moving hand gently cupped my cheek, his thumb pressing down firmly on my lower lip. It was the part where a scab had formed from my biting it.

“Right now, if I wanted to, I could rape you on the spot. Do you think that has any value?”

It was as harsh a statement as the stinging pain I still felt. Who’s being vulgar now? Why was he bragging about such a thing?

“Try doing something more to my liking.”

With those words, he pushed his thumb between my lips. His downcast gaze fixed on my slightly parted mouth.

“If you’re going to seduce me with your body, you should offer something you haven’t done before.”