TIN 81

A chill ran up and down my spine. Not due to the shock factor of the content, but because Joo Do-hwa’s expression was as casual as if he were talking about everyday matters. As if he wouldn’t even blink at the death of others right before his eyes.

“What on earth did they think that drug was…?”

“…”

I couldn’t come up with a response. I couldn’t ask why he did it and if it was because they were the ones who had drugged him first. Joo Do-hwa went on to say something similar.

“It’s funny, isn’t it? Why would they give me a drug they were so worried about?”

Yes, that was the important part. What made them give Joo Do-hwa a drug that was scary enough to make them commit suicide when they took it themselves? Did they give it to him without thinking about it, and then got scared when they were in his position?

Of course, I didn’t think their deaths were solely because of the drug. It was probably a combination of fear of being caught for their actions and the terror they felt toward Joo Do-hwa.

“Of course, not everyone drugged me. Some failed in their clumsy attempts…”

I couldn’t ask what happened to those who got caught. I had a feeling their end wouldn’t be much different from what I had imagined earlier. Even if they hadn’t died by Joo Do-hwa’s hand, they had met their end somehow and weren’t here now.

“Sometimes they’d take it themselves.”

“…Ah.”

I sighed softly. This wasn’t particularly surprising either.

“As you know, drugs are expensive.”

The ‘drugs’ he was talking about didn’t just mean medications needed for treatment. In the first place, it wasn’t easy to clearly distinguish the purpose of drugs. As the sea routes were blocked, so were the drug routes, naturally causing the prices of all items classified as ‘drugs’ to skyrocket.

Those who had more than enough money were fine. The scarce supplies were monopolized by a small minority, so they naturally lived in abundance. There was a reason why Joo Do-hwa warned me not to drink at the party we attended, saying we didn’t know what might be mixed in the alcohol.

“It’s tempting. You can’t get it anywhere else.”

But those who were so poor they could barely make a living couldn’t even approach such luxuries. It would have been better if they hadn’t tried it in the first place, but unfortunately, the more people were driven to the brink, the more they desired deviation. Like the Oceans’ employees who spent their time picking up discarded cigarette butts to smoke sparingly or mixing leftover drinks from customers to down themselves.

When I was living in the alley, there were guys who would buy cheap drugs with money that could feed them for a whole month. What was so great about that fleeting pleasure? They would go around with white powder on their nostrils, hands shaking. Some even drank construction adhesive or inhaled discarded butane gas.

“They’d get it intending to drug me, but end up taking it themselves.”

So how precious and valuable must Chairman Joo’s drug have been to them? Even if it was a real cure, those showing serious addiction symptoms couldn’t help but crave it.

Thinking that far, something about this felt odd. What made Chairman Joo trust them enough to hand over such things? What kind of substance was it that he wanted to give to Joo Do-hwa?

“Isn’t it interesting? Some commit suicide after taking it, while others take it willingly.”

Displeasure flashed in his yellow eyes. Or perhaps it was disgust. Joo Do-hwa spoke in a voice devoid of emotion, his lips curled as if utterly fed up.

“There were even people who clung to my father just to get that one thing. So stupidly…Even though I would have bought them the real thing if they had asked me.”

It was obvious how they ‘clung’ to him. The accusation that I had also given myself to his father wasn’t just his delusion. Of course, I was still infuriated by the fact that he saw me that way.

What was puzzling was Chairman Joo’s attitude toward those people.

“…Did your father readily accept that?”

I couldn’t help but be curious, even as I wondered why he was telling me all of this. Chairman Joo was an alpha wolf, and he had no reason to touch a beta that his son had brought. Chairman Joo wasn’t a fool, and he must have known that those people were clinging to him in order to obtain drugs.

“There’s no…reason for that.”

“Why would someone with such an ungenerous personality engage in such charity?”

After having said this, I realized it could be taken as me asking if I would try it if he accepted, but surprisingly, Joo Do-hwa answered straightforwardly.

“He just does it for fun.”

“…”

“He likes taking my things away.”

His expression wasn’t unpleasant. If anything, it was indifferent, as if he didn’t care either way.

“He doesn’t like me having anything, or anyone being by my side.”

I remembered something Joo Do-hwa had said before. That his father was the type of person who would prepare for 10 years, not just one, to screw him over.

What reason could there be to do such things to his own flesh and blood son? Chairman Joo’s actions were truly nothing more than attempts to ‘screw him over.’

“It doesn’t really matter. Those people weren’t important anyway…”

The words he quietly added were as dry and calm as their content. Although his tone was the same as usual, I blinked, feeling a sudden new sensation. Because Joo Do-hwa, who spoke next, lowered his eyes as if somehow hurt.

“They weren’t my real hyungs anyway.”

“…”

I flinched, my lips trembling. What was wrong with my head? His long eyelashes looked excessively forlorn. Dejection, or perhaps resignation was the expression on his face. The emotions that flashed for a moment were of a pitiful kind that didn’t suit him at all.

Suddenly, I thought, There must have been countless situations like this until now. Just counting the examples Joo Do-hwa gave, there were more than just one or two. Then he must have repeated this tug-of-war for several years.

I could imagine the process of those who came here betraying him, trying to persuade him, and then realizing they weren’t his real hyungs. I thought of it as a kind of test, but I didn’t know what Joo Do-hwa felt about these results. And what impact it had on him.

“Wow, are you pitying me right now?”

Joo Do-hwa glanced at me and chuckled. Feeling caught, I deliberately hardened my expression and retorted.

“How could I pity you?”

Only those who qualify could pity others. I had my own problems to deal with, how dare I pity anyone else?

Perhaps thinking similarly to me, he shrugged his shoulders with a thin smile.

“Anyway, this is just Father’s hobby. It’s also a kind of warning that he’s monitoring who I bring in. After all, he has nothing to lose.”

Whether the drug was given or not, it wouldn’t matter to him. If it was given, he’d be able to achieve what he wanted if not, it was just maintaining the status quo. Of course, from what I had heard, it seemed things mostly ended in disaster.

“He probably ordered it for the same reason when I was young.”

“…”

His calmly uttered words remained as another question. I wondered if Joo Do-hwa had told him that much, recalling the same question from Chairman Joo.

How did he know about that incident?

Joo Do-hwa didn’t know that I received the drug in my childhood. No, at least I never told him, so he shouldn’t know about it. Then, did he hear everything from Chairman Joo, or did he naturally come to know through his experiences? Either way, it wasn’t a pleasant feeling.

“I don’t know if you gave it to me or not.”

He added quietly, blinking slowly. His golden eyes settled calmly. Unlike before when they were languidly relaxed, smiling leisurely, or filled with anger, now a quiet and serene gaze was directed at me.

“Even if you did, I understand. What would that child have known?”

His tone was quite generous, but I could sense the disappointment lying from within. Disappointment, or more precisely, a feeling of betrayal. It was too complex to define precisely, but certainly, emotions that couldn’t be interpreted positively.

“It’s not you who’s bad, it’s Father.”

As he said this, Joo Do-hwa’s eyes curved gently. The reason it didn’t look like he was smiling was because his eyes were still in that settled state. As if he wasn’t really thinking that way, but trying to think that way.

“So, hyung.”

“…”

My heart sank in my chest. It felt like the “hyung” he was calling wasn’t me, but the child from the past. For a moment, I couldn’t take my eyes off him, as if we had returned to our childhoods.

Even more so because he asked in the gentlest tone, “Answer me. What did you do then?”

“What…?”

I stammered, my lips trembling, but I couldn’t say anything. I usually prided myself on not losing my composure, but this time I was truly flustered. So much so that Joo Do-hwa smiling at me felt like a dream.

“Did you give me that drug?”

He asked his hyung. He asked if I had given him the drug that Father had given me.