BHB 110

“Han Yeowon, what’s wrong?”

‘Right, don’t act so stupidly.’ 

He had cut things off first. It was ridiculous to be this shaken after being the one to cut everything off. He strained his eyes as if to brainwash himself that this was pathetic.

When he returned to his post, it was chaos. Somehow a fight had broken out, and it unfortunately involved huge men, taking quite some time to separate them. Moreover, trying to appease both sides meant that several managers, including the director, had to come out and apologize.

By the time he managed the situation with his dazed mind, he was, of course, called by the man who was the manager and received a scolding. Not only that, but he also had to be fired. The manager apparently didn’t like his attitude and informed him that he no longer needed to work there. He didn’t feel wronged. After all, he had left his post several times just hours after starting work. He only felt sorry for Baek Seungha, who had introduced him to the job.

As Yeowon trudged toward the changing room after leaving the management office, he suddenly turned around. Running quickly, almost sprinting, Yeowon stopped in front of the door where he had been trapped alone with Lee Taegang earlier. Even knowing that quite some time had passed and that Lee Taegang wouldn’t still be there, Yeowon urgently flung the door open. But all he saw was an employee taking a break and smoking.

“Ha…”

Yeowon exhaled a bewildered sigh, breathing heavily.

‘…Can’t you?’

He didn’t know why those words had sounded like “please” to him. Come to think of it, how did he look? Though it was dark and he couldn’t see clearly, he had definitely gotten thinner. His voice was more hoarse than usual, and what about his eyes?

Looking like he had lost his mind, Yeowon came out of the building and sat down on the stairs. After slumping down, he rummaged through his pockets, looking for cigarettes. Putting the filter in his mouth and lighting it, he relieved the suffocation that had built up to his throat. The cool night air seemed to gradually clear his head.

“Shit…”

While the inside and outside of the club were noisy and bustling with people, the air around him felt heavily subdued. Yeowon stared at the club building with an apathetic gaze.

Honestly, he was still worried about Lee Taegang, who might still be with Choi Youngdoo. Leaving Lee Taegang like that earlier also bothered him on one side of his heart, driving him crazy. After cutting everything off, he was the one who couldn’t stay still. The emotions he had been avoiding and ignoring were surging. Even though he hated, was angry, and felt indignant with rage, those feelings couldn’t hide what had been deeply concealed.

The fact that he liked Lee Taegang so damn much.

Lee Taegang had been too precious to him to coldly cut off emotions that had developed over more than a decade. Even if his affection had waned, cutting off all that time at once was never an easy thing. That’s why the past few weeks have been difficult. He had no appetite, no taste for alcohol, and was lethargic about everything.

Yeowon threw away the half-smoked cigarette and covered his face with both hands. One, two – the cigarette butts accumulated between his sitting legs. Passersby whispered as they passed, seeing him sitting alone on the stairs. Some laughed, probably thinking he looked pathetic, while others tried to approach and talk to him. Around the time when numerous people had passed by for about an hour, and when the half-smoked cigarette butts had piled up considerably, Yeowon lightly dusted off his behind and stood up.

Yes, since when had he started thinking so complicatedly? Either way, given his personality, it was obvious that he would come back again, worrying even if he tried to pretend not to know. He decided to act, putting his emotions aside for now.

Just as he was about to head back into the club, he caught sight of Choi Youngdoo coming out through the back door on the opposite side of the entrance. Choi Youngdoo, who had come out with one of his lackeys, grimaced menacingly while smoking a cigarette. 

Then he roughly hit the lackey’s head and shouted, “Fuck, I told you to watch him well!”

“I’m sorry! I tried to follow him, but… you know, he’s quite intimidating…”

“You idiot. What’s the point of being a gangster if you’re scared?!”

It was clear that the situation was unfolding differently than expected. Choi Youngdoo slapped the lackey’s cheek once more and roughly spat on the ground.

“Find him.”

“I’ve been looking for him for a while, but I just can’t see where he went…”

“You’re dead if you don’t find him. Shit. Where did this bastard run off to! I thought he was behaving well, but… shit. Fucking hell.” Choi Youngdoo cursed loudly enough for passersby to glance at him. 

Listening to the conversation, Yeowon realized that Lee Taegang had disappeared. It was a good thing. Just as Yeowon unknowingly exhaled deeply in relief, Choi Youngdoo, who reacted sharply, turned his head toward him. Their gazes met in midair, and simultaneously, his body was turned around in an instant.

“…Shh.”

Someone quietly whispered, pulling him into the shadows between buildings to hide. He heard the footsteps of Choi Youngdoo, who had noticed something strange, quickly approaching.

“That’s strange… I thought I saw that bastard Han Yeowon…” Choi Youngdoo, who had reached where he had been, muttered as he looked around with suspicious eyes. 

Hidden in the street at night, Yeowon looked up slightly at Lee Taegang, who was pressed close in front of him. Lee Taegang also looked toward Choi Youngdoo, then confirmed he had disappeared, and let out a short sigh.

“…What’s going on? How did this happen?”

Though he had a general idea of the situation, he couldn’t understand the details precisely, so Yeowon asked, keeping his voice as low as possible.

“What do you mean, what?”

“…”

“…It’s exactly as it looks.” Lee Taegang answered in a composed voice. 

It was clear he was hiding from Choi Youngdoo. In fact, neither Lee Taegang nor he had the personality to flee and hide from someone like Choi Youngdoo, but they were laying low after assessing the situation. To avoid drawing attention again, or to prevent it from escalating into a brawl. If that happened, who knows what would become of Lee Taegang this time.

Impressed by his uncharacteristically calm escape from the situation, he muttered quietly, “…Well done.”

Yeowon gave a lukewarm compliment and stepped back a pace from Lee Taegang, who seemed excessively close. It was enough that he had managed to escape well. Feeling embarrassed by how serious he had been just moments ago when there was no longer any need to worry, he scratched his nose. As he was about to turn around and leave, Yeowon suddenly turned his head back toward Lee Taegang.

“…But of all the people watching you, why that bastard?”

“…”

“No, why that bastard in the first place?”

He had debated for a long time whether to ask. He didn’t want to get more deeply involved, and they weren’t in that kind of relationship anymore. But the way he was carrying on pricked at him like a thorn, and he couldn’t help himself.

Choi Youngdoo was the person Yeowon despised the most, someone who lived without caring whether others were well-off or struggling, whether they were bastards or jerks. If they had just hung out like a passing fling, it wouldn’t have mattered, but Choi Youngdoo showed a peculiar persistence. The way he kept clinging to Lee Taegang despite being humiliated and insulted by him, as if those things had never happened, made Yeowon both uncomfortable and anxious.

Not knowing how long he would persistently act that way, he had worried knowingly and unknowingly throughout their school years. That was part of why he disliked him even more. In the end, seeing him still sticking like a bedbug even after high school graduation, his anxiety had pretty much hit the mark.

“…That person hired him.” Lee Taegang spoke as if it had nothing to do with him, like someone else’s business. He too put a cigarette in his mouth with an annoyed face.

“Your father?”

“Yeah.”

After lighting his cigarette, Lee Taegang answered plainly.

“…Why would he do that?”

When he asked again with a completely uncomprehending face, Lee Taegang let out a faint sneer as if it were quite funny, “To screw me over.”

Yeowon furrowed his brows once more, his face showing he still didn’t understand.

“No, that bastard has been causing so much trouble all this time trying to bring you down.”

“That’s why they know.”

“…They know and still did it?”

“Do you think those people don’t know anything?”

Lee Taegang stared at him intently as he asked back. His eyes, which had been hidden in the darkness, were briefly revealed by headlights shining through the alley. His gaze, calm yet somehow elevated, fixed on him and wouldn’t move away. 

Feeling somewhat burdened, Yeowon avoided his gaze and responded,”Even so, is there a reason to go that far? Going so far as to record videos of you.”

“…They’re people who only think about getting rid of me anyway.” He spoke nonchalantly along with the smoke, “He’s the kind of bastard who will create evidence or justification to avoid trouble later, so it’s not bad for them.”

Lee Taegang was composed, as if everything was flowing smoothly like water.

“…You seem to just accept everything?”

“Because it’s the natural course.”

“…”

“Ever since I covered one arm with tattoos.”

“…”

“Ever since I followed you to that school.”

“…”

“Ever since I defied those people.”

Lee Taegang spoke casually while leaning against the wall. With a face of acceptance, as if he had known it all along, he was finishing one cigarette.