BHB 120

Those thoughts were true from the beginning. It was Taegang who first approached to reconnect their distant relationship, Taegang who followed him to that tough school because he didn’t want to drift apart, and Taegang who desperately dragged him to university because he wanted to be together. Thinking about it, Taegang was always the desperate one. He had taken it all for granted—as if Taegang’s affection naturally belonged to him.

“…What a foolish idiot.”

His heart ached at the fact that Taegang had even tried to die in his place. The image of him running desperately, charging toward him in his battered state with eyes only for him, remained as an afterimage that wouldn’t fade.

Lying on his back staring at the ceiling, Yeowon rested his arm over his eyes, trying with all his might to hold back the tears that threatened to well up. He detested the idea of crying pathetically. Why cry when there’s nothing he could do right now anyway? Yeowon bit his lip and remained frozen in that position for a while, as if time had stopped.

After about an hour—an hour of being rigid as if the world had stopped—he suddenly sat up. Then he searched for his phone, which he had completely forgotten about, and turned it on. As soon as the phone powered on, numerous notifications poured in, but ignoring them all, he searched for the three characters of Kim Myungjoo’s name.

The dial tone rang, and Yeowon quietly waited with the phone to his ear. The other person answered soon after. It sounded noisy in the background, as if he was working.

— Hey, you bastard! Why haven’t you been answering my calls?!!

Kim Myungjoo burst out in anger as soon as he picked up, apparently having tried to contact him while his phone was off.

“Hey, let me ask you for one favor.”

— Didn’t you work part-time at our store? And got fired? You should have told me…

“I said let me ask for one favor. Yeowon roughly cut off Kim Myungjoo, who was only saying what he wanted to say.

— What’s with the tone? What is it?

Sensing something was off, the guy asked suspiciously.

“Do you know some people in that line of work?”

— That line?

“Yeah. People who can handle themselves physically.”

— Hey, you can just talk to Jin Youngchae about that.

Yeowon let out a small sigh.

“Can we use Youngchae’s guys separately?”

— Of course, if it’s a friend asking for help. I’ll call Youngchae… No, I’ll take care of it myself.

“Is tomorrow possible?”

— How many do you need?

“At least five or six.”

— I’ll call about ten then.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

— Forget the thanks. What’s going on?

He knew he needed to explain the situation, but it wasn’t easy to put into words. After hesitating for a moment, Yeowon first shared the most important fact.

“…Taegang is injured right now.”

— Him? He got hurt? You didn’t hurt him?

“I’m not joking, it’s real.”

— Something serious must have happened. How badly is he hurt?

“He had surgery.”

— Surgery even? Shit. What kind of bastards are they? Who are they messing with, do they want to die?

Realizing the seriousness of the situation, Kim Myungjoo cursed fiercely.

“But things got complicated, and his dad has Taegang locked up in the hospital.”

— Ah, so we’re not going to fight them?

“Yeah. We can’t escalate things that way.”

— Phew. I thought so. I warned you to be careful.

“That’s why I don’t think I can do it alone, so I need help creating a distraction.”

— Which hospital? I’m coming too.

“No, it’s fine.”

— Shit. What’s fine about this? It really hurts me if you act like this between us. Besides, I’m worried about him too since he’s hurt.

“You might not be able to see him anyway.”

— Hey, there’s nothing we can’t do.

Kim Myungjoo boldly stated he would contact Jin Youngchae first, then hung up. It was fortunate to at least have someone to ask for help. The reason for needing those big guys was to have people who could hold the bodyguards back, even if just briefly. He couldn’t just stay quietly locked up in the room. He needed to see Taegang’s face right away, to confirm if he was really okay.

After receiving a message with the okay sign from Kim Myungjoo, Yeowon cleaned up Taegang’s place. From the scattered liquor bottles to the dirty pile of clothes. The place had been empty for quite some time, with dust accumulated and cigarette butts overflowing from the ashtray, messily scattered about. It was clearly the home of someone who had been living like a wreck.

Seeing this, he realized that Taegang had been suffering just as much as him, if not more. He himself had spent the first few days drowning in alcohol, living like someone missing a screw. The thought suddenly occurred to him that if they were going to be this miserable apart, they should never have separated in the first place. If they were going to suffer this much… they should have just stayed together, even if seeing each other’s faces was irritating.

Even as he sank into these regretful thoughts, Yeowon didn’t stop moving. There was no point in regretting things now. He didn’t want to stand foolishly in place any longer; he needed to see Taegang right away. Stupidly, only now… he had so much he wanted to say.

As Yeowon left the house at the appointed time, he saw someone lingering in front of what used to be his home, now an empty house. The silhouette was so familiar that his steps faltered. And the moment he confirmed who it was, a deep sigh of exasperation escaped him.

“…Yeowon.”

It was Jeon Chaemin, whom he thought he’d never see again. Despite all those threats, seeing him still hanging around here showed that Chaemin was quite severe in his own way.

“Why are you here again?”

At Yeowon’s complicated tone, Chaemin fidgeted, unable to hide his embarrassment.

“…I heard through the grapevine that you moved… I came just in case.”

“But why?”

“You’re not answering calls… and I heard you quit school, so I was worried…”

“…Don’t you remember what I said last time?”

He had even threatened him not to show his face again, but seeing him still standing there, it seems the threat wasn’t effective.

“No. I remember.” But Chaemin nodded gravely, despite risking such threats. “Still… I still have something I really want to tell you in person.”

His expression was so grave, almost painful, that Yeowon now felt pity beyond anger. Curious about what could be so important to say that he would go this far, he calmed his irritation and asked, “…What is it?”

Chaemin urgently rummaged through his bag and handed him an envelope full of something. Yeowon reluctantly took it and checked inside. It was filled with photos of himself. He looked down at him skeptically, unable to understand this behavior—was he proudly showing off the secret photos he had taken?

“Are you here to turn yourself in or something?”

“This is all I took… I deleted all the film and original files.”

He hung his head like a guilty person. After looking through the photos once more, Yeowon let out a stifled sigh. They were indeed all photos of him. Pictures of him chatting with Do Young-jae, eating in the school cafeteria, walking around campus. In some, the subject was so small he was barely visible.

“I know it was wrong… But I couldn’t stop.”

“……”

“I liked taking photos, but when I took photos of you… I liked it even more.”

“…Sunbae.”

“I just liked you too much. Even knowing it was wrong, knowing everything, I couldn’t help but do it because I liked you so much. Even just your image in the frame… I liked it so much.”

Chaemin continued slowly, swallowing dryly. This moment seemed incredibly difficult for him, but his determination to say it all was evident.

“But whether you believe it or not… I didn’t spread the rumors, though… it’s true I didn’t try to stop them.”

“……”

“…Actually, I liked it. That there were rumors about us like that. Even to the point where I didn’t care if people thought I was gay.”

Each revealed emotion hit differently now. How much he had liked him. He had heard the words “I like you” many times, but this was the first time he truly felt it on a visceral level.

“And…” Chaemin hesitated. Whatever he was about to say seemed even more difficult to express. After a moment’s pause, he bowed his head deeply and spoke with difficulty. “What happened with Taegang too… I know it’s strange. But I liked Taegang too. …Just because he was a friend you cared about.”

Chaemin forced a faint, embarrassed smile, but his face still showed clear tension. “It’s true that I was trying to give up on you, being satisfied with just that… and I know it’s ridiculous that I still clung to you after that, I know…”

“……”

“The desire I harbored bit by bit ended up deceiving you.”

“……”

“For liking you this way, like this… I’m sorry.”

Taegang had said something similar. That he liked him that much. That he liked him in that way. It meant they were each, in their own way, expressing how they liked him. He truly couldn’t understand it and didn’t want to understand it, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t their genuine feelings. Both Chaemin, who was facing this uncomfortable situation to apologize, and Taegang, who had desperately rushed in to save him at the villa.

“Haa…”

Yeowon let out a long sigh at the complicated feelings rising within him, running his hand through his hair with a troubled expression. He felt genuinely bad. The sincerity was so palpable that he felt like the bad guy for being cold to someone who liked him that much. Even though he still couldn’t understand his one-sided actions and felt uncomfortable…

“…I’m sorry too.” Yeowon answered calmly, letting go of his immature emotions. “…For not being able to accept your feelings.”

He was sincere as well. He faced him directly without avoidance. When he gave his honest, serious answer without a trace of falsehood, Jeon Chaemin suddenly gave a faint smile.