BHB 128

“Hey, that’s…”

“Of course I don’t actually plan to get rid of them. They know that too. I’m just keeping them dormant.”

“So all you get is just staying in Korea?”

“And also an agreement that they won’t interfere with my private life, including you.”

“…What if they suddenly mess with you again?”

“The negotiation was that they wouldn’t interfere.” Lee Taegang seemed somewhat satisfied. 

What a family, where each holds the other’s weaknesses so they can’t touch each other. Yeowon felt troubled and had a headache.

He had once again done something unwanted on his own.

Yeowon pressed his forehead with an aghast expression. “…Hey. Taegang. Let’s just go. I didn’t say I didn’t want to leave because I wanted to see you tied to those people again, it’s just that you keep…!”

“Running away would just repeat the same pattern anyway.”

“But we could at least buy time. We could come back when things quiet down.”

“I realized something through this incident.”

“…”

“That in this state, with nothing…”

“…”

“It’s hard to even protect just you.”

Taegang approached with a composed face and voice, and pressed the ice-filled brandy glass against his cheek. Yeowon felt the heat subside as the cold sensation cooled his hot cheek.

“That person wanted to drive you away, right?”

“That’s because I always defied him.”

“…Still, it doesn’t seem right.” Yeowon closed his eyes and shook his head.

“It’s no big deal.”

“You always say that. You always say it’s nothing.”

“I made a practical judgment.”

“How nice to be so rational.”

“Han Yeowon.”

“Then why didn’t you do this from the beginning? Why now?”

All the rebelling and beatings seem wasted now. Why now… Yeowon rubbed his eyes as if tired.

“It’s different now.”

“How exactly?”

“You’re here now.”

“…”

“I’m not just digging a hole for myself when it comes to you anymore.”

“…”

“Now that you’re finally seeing me, I don’t want to drag you away and make you suffer.”

“…Ha.”

“It’s the easiest path, and the safest for you too.”

“…”

“Even if I acted rebellious and took you away, there’s no guarantee his hands wouldn’t reach us.” Lee Taegang calmly continued to explain the validity of his choice persuasively. 

Yeowon was left speechless. Because the reason was, again, because of him.

“It’s because of me again.”

“…”

“That you’re making such a choice.”

It seemed like he was the reason behind every choice in Lee Taegang’s life. Going to a delinquent high school, rebelling against his parents, attending a university below his academic abilities, having sex with Jeon Chaemin, and now going back under such terrible parents.

“…Looking at it, I seem like someone who brings nothing good to you.” Yeowon frowned slightly and stared at him with a subdued gaze.

“Han Yeowon.”

Perceiving the strange self-loathing in Yeowon’s eyes, Lee Taegang called his name softly, almost startled. Anxiety settled on his face.

“What kind of work?”

“…”

“What kind of work is that man making you do?” Yeowon asked as politely as possible while taking deep breaths. 

He acted maturely, suppressing his temper as much as possible, fearing that if he snapped at him, their argument would repeat.

Lee Taegang briefly smoothed his lips with a troubled face. It was a gesture of hesitation.

“Just handling some affairs, that sort of thing.”

“Tell me straight.” Yeowon frowned as he intercepted his attempt to be vague. 

Seeing his determination not to back down easily, Lee Taegang let out a low sigh. “…He’ll probably assign me tasks he doesn’t want to handle directly.”

Realizing that being vague was impossible, he fiddled with a lighter. He seemed to be craving a cigarette.

“Like what?”

“…That kind of work, you know.”

“I said tell me properly.”

Lee Taegang averted his gaze and spoke in a tone that suggested he desperately didn’t want to say it, “It’s obvious, isn’t it?”

“…”

“…Like dealing with someone. Or when underhanded money is needed.”

“…”

“He’ll only be satisfied if his troublemaking son is used in that way.”

A deep breath escaped between Yeowon’s lips. Judging by how he was showing him this apartment, it seemed like the choices and decisions had already been finalized. He recalled how he had seemed excited coming here despite making such a decision. He was truly a foolish guy. Making that kind of choice but being so eager to show him this place that he brought him here immediately after being discharged.

Yeowon calmly regulated his breathing and asked with composure, stomping down his emotions as much as possible, “Then what about me?”

“…”

“What can I do for you?”

“…”

“This isn’t fair.” Yeowon spoke directly, narrowing his eyes, but the other showed reluctance behind his expressionless face. Yeowon continued firmly, “That work. I want to do it with you.”

At that moment, his face, which had been contemplating how to persuade him, distorted fiercely.

“Ha.”

Taegang let out a cold, dejected laugh, not hiding his discomfort. “…You always do this.”

At his irritated response, Yeowon sharpened his tone even more, “What did I do now?”

“You have a talent for driving people crazy.”

They increasingly revealed the tempers they had barely been suppressing. 

Yeowon retorted with a twisted smile as if calling the kettle black, “And you don’t?”

Lee Taegang irritably took off his cap and threw it. “Do you even understand what kind of work I’ll be doing?”

“Am I an idiot? Would those people ever give you clean work to do? I anticipated this before I even asked.”

“So what? You want to do it together?”

“Yes. You said you’re doing it because of me. If that’s the case, let’s do it together.”

“Hey. You always… Ha.” Lee Taegang took a deep breath in and out, regulating his breathing. He clenched his jaw, grinding his molars to suppress his anger.

“Just…” Lee Taegang continued, exhaling briefly, “Just live without thinking.”

“What…?” Yeowon asked with an incredulous face. His expression suggested he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

Looking directly at that face, Lee Taegang added according to his temperament, “From now on, just take what I give you, eat, and live without thinking.”

“Ha, you call that talking?”

“Live like before, doing only what you want to do.”

“…”

“Just spend money lavishly.”

“…”

“By my side.”

Suddenly he felt a dark future ahead. Lee Taegang’s hopes for the future were so different from his. He strongly felt like things were going wrong from the start.

“As if my mind would be at ease with that.”

“Just accept it.”

Lee Taegang let out a labored breath and ran his hand through his hair. It was a one-sided choice and situation. Yeowon knew that following his demand would be the simpler path. But…

“Let me join you.”

“…”

“Or I’ll go directly to your father myself.”

“Please—!”

“…”

“Shit, please… Can’t you just listen to me?”

Lee Taegang grabbed Yeowon’s arm strongly while speaking in a voice that was desperately being held back. Even as he showed anger, he was full of desperation, making even the observer’s face furrow involuntarily.

“…It hurts my pride.” Yeowon also pressed his lips firmly before opening them again, “…You’re going under that man’s control, but you want me to just sit idly by like a fool?”

Annoyed and hurt that Lee Taegang didn’t understand such feelings, he grabbed his collar in anger and glared at him. However, his flashing, angry eyes remained unchanged. His will seemed firm.

“Is it over when you decide and conclude everything by yourself?”

It was truly a nasty habit. Yeowon released his innocent collar and wearily rubbed around his eyes. But no meaningful answer came back. Though he was stubbornly holding his ground, Yeowon was the first to surrender, not wanting to fight with a patient who had just been discharged.

“…Fine. I don’t want to fight with someone who isn’t even fully recovered yet.”

As he waved his hand and turned to leave, his gaze followed him. As Yeowon was about to cross the living room back toward the entrance, he abruptly grabbed his wrist.

“Where are you suddenly going?”

It was Lee Taegang’s urgent gesture. 

Yeowon retorted with a puzzled face at this unexpected urgency, “I’m going home, why?”

“This is home now.”

“…Ha.”

“I told you.”

“…”

“Even if you’re disappointed in me, even if you come to dislike me, you can’t back out now.”

Yeowon shook his head as if giving up on his attitude that bordered on madness. 

What should he do about this? It was both absurd and astounding to see him so anxious, as if his feelings had changed in that short time.

“…Idiot. Don’t I need to go home and pack my things?”

“…”

“There are reporters lingering around there too right now, you can’t take me there.”

“…”

“I have to go alone at least.”

“…”

“And right now I’m too annoyed to even talk to you.”

While it was true that he wanted to go home partly to escape from the stifling atmosphere, it wasn’t like before when he would blindly turn his back on him. This place was too empty. Although it seemed generally furnished, it was useless without their personal belongings to live with.

“…Let’s go together.”

“I told you there are reporters.”

“I can just stay in the car.”

“We just had a fight, you know?”

“So? Is that a reason we can’t go together?”

“I don’t want to travel while looking at your face right now.”

“I like it.”

“What?”

“I like being together even if we’re fighting.”

Yeowon let out a hollow laugh at his stubborn insistence on coming along. It was quite astounding to see him say he liked it with such a shameless face after making him so upset. 

So stubborn, so unreasonable… 

But the fact that he didn’t entirely dislike his determination not to be separated from him showed that he, too, had it bad.

A cold atmosphere flowed even on the way to retrieve their belongings. He had thought they wouldn’t fight for a while.

Lee Taegang drove with an impassive face, staring only straight ahead, while Yeowon watched out the opposite window with an irritated face, arms crossed. 

Lost in thought and worried, he suddenly looked at Lee Taegang and flared up, “Always, shit, doing whatever you want.”

It was an outburst without coherence. The more he thought about it, the more his insides boiled. Although he felt he should respect his choices to some extent, it was an unavoidable situation where anger surged.