BHB 104

A face he had always thought was pretty looked particularly distorted today. Yeowon coldly looked down at Chaemin, who appeared more desperate than anyone. In truth, Chaemin’s excuses were beyond his concern. He wasn’t curious about anything. Right now, his head was about to explode with thoughts of Taegang, so nothing else entered his eyes or ears.

“Well, what happened was… that…”

In Chaemin’s hands were a few photos he had just scraped and gathered from the floor. In those glimpses of photos, there were only images of Yeowon. A back view whose form could barely be seen, or a side profile of him chatting with his classmates. Yeowon with a bored face during lectures, and so on. All were shots taken in secret. Suddenly, he remembered that Chaemin had a keen interest in photography. Though he never expected his interest would be in this direction.

“I was just…”

“You stabbed Taegang because you thought I wouldn’t give you the time of day?”

Chaemin, who had been acting like he would say anything, kept stumbling over his words, seemingly in a desperate state of mind. Yeowon spoke out what he couldn’t bring himself to say, in a tone of disinterest.

“N-no, that’s not it!” Chaemin’s eyes seemed to have lost focus somewhere. But as if he wanted to deny it, he shook his head rapidly from side to side like a madman.

“So you took a stab, he fell for it, and you enjoyed yourself to the fullest.”

“No… I, because I liked you… that’s why I…” Chaemin’s voice gradually faded as he tried to continue his excuses. As if he deeply realized that even as he spoke, his words made no sense.

“I…”

“…”

“Honestly, I don’t care.” Yeowon revealed his true temperament, abandoning even the minimum courtesy he usually maintained. Watching him with a cold gaze, he deftly took one of the photos from his hand with his index and middle fingers, gave it a cursory glance, and continued in a flat tone. “Whether you like me and follow me around or not. Whether you take these lousy photos or not.”

Then, as if annoyed, he threw the photo at Chaemin’s face. “Whether you spread fucking rumors or not.”

He truly didn’t care at all. To him now, Chaemin’s existence was beside the point.

“I’m fucking angry because of Taegang, not because of you, sunbae.”

“Yeowon…”

Chaemin called his name desperately, as if trying to grasp one last strand of hope, but he remained cold and cynical. No, it was closer to indifference. His cynical appearance wasn’t due to anger, but rather to a complete lack of interest.

“I’m sorry, really… I didn’t mean for things to go this far, really…”

“No.” Yeowon cut off his persistent behavior decisively. He was more than tired; he was sick of it, and his indifference toward him now made him feel irritated.

“I’m not interested.”

“I never intended for this to happen from the start…!”

Such a situation was enough to provoke Yeowon’s temper. “Fuck, you really can’t take a hint.”

“…”

“Whatever conspiracy you had behind my back. Whether you slept together or not, I don’t care anymore.”

Chaemin’s pupils shook uncontrollably at his counterpart’s domineering attitude, which he had never seen before. His face, looking like he might cry at any moment, twisted miserably. Whether it was because of the vague feeling about how the situation had escalated to this point, or because of Yeowon’s merciless attitude, was uncertain. But Yeowon, with no intention of giving him any more leeway, deliberately pushed his index finger against Chaemin’s forehead.

“So, sunbae. No, you.”

Bestowing both humiliation and contempt simultaneously, he threw out words harshly like a thug from the backstreets. Yeowon, who could be ruthlessly cold-hearted when angry, hadn’t shed his delinquent habits. He was merciless to people outside his boundaries, those unrelated to his people. The reason he had shown courtesy to Chaemin until now was only because he was connected to Taegang, and because he was a senior whom his close classmates took care of; there was no personal feeling whatsoever.

“Don’t show up in front of me again.” Yeowon issued a final warning. “My patience has limits.”

By now, anyone who needed to know would know that he wouldn’t hesitate to resort to violence if he crossed a certain line. The recent violent incident had been detailed by witnesses, so Chaemin would certainly be aware of it too. Finally, leaving behind Chaemin, who had lost his words and seemed to have no intention of making excuses, Yeowon skillfully got into his car. The eye-catching sports car, spitting out a harsh engine sound, quickly left the school.

As soon as he hit the road, Yeowon stepped on the accelerator, venting his anger through speed. Pressing down recklessly, he ruthlessly turned the steering wheel if there was anyone in his way. In the midst of this, if a car suddenly cut in, he would pound the horn as if hitting it with his fist. He swore roughly while blaring his horn loud enough to dominate the street.

“That fucking bastard cutting in and acting up, fuck. You want to die, you fucking bastard.”

Half out of his mind, Yeowon expressed his unresolved anger again and again, cursing at innocent drivers as if to vent. But there was no way it would get better.

Drivers who were driving alongside him honked at him for his lack of manners on the road, and some even rolled down their windows to hurl insults. However, Yeowon paid no attention and accelerated, racing ahead faster than anyone else. He liked the speed, as if he were in a racing competition. But he couldn’t feel any relief. Eventually, after driving for a while, Yeowon pulled over to the shoulder of the road and suddenly pounded the driver’s seat with his fist like a madman. Not content with just pounding, he even let out a scream and kicked out of the driver’s door as if trying to destroy it.

Cars were dangerously passing by on the road, but Yeowon paid no attention as he put a cigarette in his mouth at the roadside. He nervously lit it and chewed on the filter. And yet, feeling suffocated, he unhesitatingly punched his solar plexus. His chest felt so tight it was constricting. Beyond constricting, it was suffocating, and beyond suffocating, his entire body began to tremble.

“Ha…”

Exhaling a despairing sigh full of resignation, Yeowon leaned forward with his hand on the car roof. He felt like he was going to go crazy from the uncontrollable emotions and trembling. After staying bent over for a while, he suddenly lifted his head and, with a composed face, took another deep drag of his cigarette. With no intention of exhaling the smoke, he kept the cigarette in his mouth while searching his pants for his phone.

Having found what he wanted in his back pocket, he made a call somewhere. ‘Dad’s Secretary.’ As soon as that concisely saved name appeared on the screen, the other party immediately answered.

“It’s me.” Yeowon briefly introduced himself and went straight to the point.”Get me out of the house.”

Then, burning through nearly half his cigarette in one go, he irritably tilted his head back and blew out the smoke.

“Send someone to pack my stuff too.”

From the other end of the phone came questions about the reason, but Yeowon had no intention of answering and moved directly to his next point.

“And take care of my withdrawal from school too.”

Though there seemed to be a surprised reaction, he continued with an annoyed expression, “Just handle it. Why do you have to ask about every little thing?”

It was an arrogant attitude without a trace of courtesy, but the other party seemed accustomed to it and moved on without much impact. Having smoked his cigarette down almost to the filter, Yeowon discarded the butt and spoke indifferently, “Taking care of my affairs is your job anyway.”

There was no need to contact his father; his matters were handled directly by the secretary who answered the call. It had been that way since middle school. Even when he caused trouble and parents were called, or when he frequented police stations requiring a guardian, the one who was contacted or showed up was this secretary he was currently speaking with.

Just as he was about to hang up after finishing his business, something flashed through Yeowon’s mind. He had almost forgotten something important. He frowned and let out a short sigh.

“Some strange videos might be uploaded.”

Was taking care of Taegang his responsibility too? It was contradictory of him to be cutting off everything related to him out of revenge, yet still unable to let go.

But he couldn’t just ignore it. He had no idea what would happen if the videos spread. If that incident caused harm to Taegang’s parents, the retaliation… Yeowon didn’t even want to imagine it.

“About Taegang. I might be in them too.”

The other party pressed for details about the content, but Yeowon didn’t give the answers they wanted and only stated his request.

“If anything gets uploaded, please make sure it doesn’t spread. It won’t be good for Father. Or for Father’s company.”

Having conveyed his message in a voice like a deep sigh, Yeowon leaned his back against the car window and looked up at the darkened night sky. Then, while searching for his lighter, he took out a business card that had caught his hand. A prosecutor’s office card. He quietly stared at the three characters of Lee Taejoo’s name neatly printed on the paper and opened his mouth.

“Handle it well.”

Taejoo had told him to contact him if there was anything to resolve, but that resolution was possible from his side too. There was no need to extend a hand to his family. He didn’t want to plead with those people. Anyway, this was a matter for his and Taegang to end; there was nothing good that would come from it spreading.

Having seemingly made up his mind, Yeowon hung up and ran his hand down his increasingly complicated face. This was the only answer he had right now. He wanted to get away from him immediately. He felt so sick of it all that his insides seemed about to burst. His malicious, abnormal behavior felt like it would devour him. Blind emotions he hadn’t felt at first came crashing down frighteningly large.

‘I never expected anything.’

But why did those words, spoken with uncharacteristic lack of confidence, keep coming to mind? Why was he so irritated by Taegang, who claimed he never had expectations?

“Stupid bastard…”

‘If you liked me for so long, why did you never once have expectations, you fool.

After doing all those things, why couldn’t you say those words just once, that you liked me.’

“Stupid bastard…”

Yeowon pressed his head against the car roof in frustration. His head felt so hot it seemed about to explode; he needed to cool it down again and again. Otherwise, he felt like he would lose his mind, endlessly consumed by thoughts of Taegang. Despite hating him so much, he was worried; despite being angry, he was strangely sad, and so Yeowon once more banged his head with a thud.

After banging his head a few more times, as time passed and his emotions subsided, allowing him to become calmer, what he could understand was clear.

Taegang had made a mistake, he had criticized him, and those actions had become daggers deeply embedded in each other, turning everything into a complete mess.

Now there was nothing more.

No more of our peaceful school days. No more of our tranquil everyday lives.