BHB 11

He paused suddenly upon seeing the name saved simply as ‘Taegang’. As their classmate Kim Myungjoo said, he and Lee Taegang fought often, but made up just as easily. Even after fierce arguments, they’d act normal the next day as if nothing had happened. They’d come and go freely between each other’s homes, eat together, and chat while watching sports broadcasts.

Yeowon instinctively felt that this time would be different. If he was hesitating to even send a text, how could things go back to normal? Yeowon let out a short sigh and swiped away the screen. He tossed the phone aside lightly and started getting ready to go out. He hated being alone. He thought it would be better to distract himself from his troubled feelings by going out and having fun, so he headed to the meeting place.

Unlike Lee Taegang, Yeowon didn’t have a car. He had a license, but Lee Taegang had discouraged him from buying one, saying they didn’t need two cars since he’d be driving his around anyway. He had a point. Plus, unlike the skilled driver Lee Taegang, Yeowon wasn’t good at driving. He never had the chance to improve since Lee Taegang always drove.

Lee Taegang’s car wasn’t visible in the outdoor parking lot of the mansion. He resented his own eyes for automatically searching for his car. He wanted to forget about him, even if just for a moment.

Yeowon took a taxi to the meeting place and entered the club with his classmates who were waiting. Kim Myungjoo must have notified them in advance, as they bypassed the line and were immediately escorted to their seats after giving their names to the guard. Do Youngjae and Jo Suchan, who had come before, weren’t particularly impressed, but the classmates who came for the first time couldn’t hide their excitement at the VIP treatment, shouting in amazement.

The room on the second floor of the club had to be entered through a door from the hallway, while the opposite wall was a glass window that offered a clear view of the stage below.

“Wow, this is fucking awesome. It’s my first time in a place like this.”

“This place is crazy expensive. Treat our Han Yeowon well.”

“Should we call you ‘boss’ now?”

As the classmates got excited, Do Youngjae joined in dramatically. Yeowon just put a cigarette in his mouth without much response.

“Cut the crap and just have fun.”

He had no intention of winning favor or being revered for this. Yeowon waved his hand dismissively, as if telling them to drink and enjoy themselves, looking slightly annoyed.

Soon after, Kim Myungjoo, dressed up, came to find Yeowon. After exchanging brief greetings and providing drinks, he left with the customary suggestion to have a drink together with everyone later. Judging by the frequent radio calls, he seemed busy.

Kim Myungjoo had clearly partied enough in his time, as his appearance alone showed he knew what he was doing. He stood out especially because he had copied Lee Taegang’s facial tattoos out of admiration. Moreover, his body was excessively covered in flashy luxury brands, but to the eyes of ordinary college students, it seemed fascinating and enviable.

“Lee Taegang didn’t come today, huh?” Do Youngjae asked curiously as he savored the expensive alcohol. Everywhere he went, people only talked about Lee Taegang when they saw him.

“I didn’t contact him.”

“Why? He came with you last time.”

“Do we have to come together every time?”

Yeowon’s tone clearly revealed his irritation at the name, and Do Youngjae’s eyes lit up.

“You did fight, didn’t you?”

“…”

“I thought you’ve been acting strange these past few days.”

“Just drink. Or go out and have fun.”

“Why did you fight? I’ll counsel you.”

“What counsel?”

“Hey, I’m taking psychology counseling classes too. Just talk to me.”

Do Youngjae leaned back confidently like an older brother figure, nodding casually. It was a gesture urging him to speak.

Yeowon hesitated for a moment. Normally, he would have ignored such an offer, but today he was tempted. He stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray and leaned forward, adjusting his posture.

“Lee Taegang…”

But he couldn’t organize his thoughts on what to ask. That Lee Taegang was gay? That he was sleeping with his senior, Jeon Chaemin? That he felt disgusted seeing it… but didn’t know why he felt so disgusted? Was it because Lee Taegang became gay? Or because Lee Taegang never gave him any hint about such things? Or was it because Lee Taegang rolling around with Jeon Chaemin looked so different from the person he knew, and that was too… alien? Or really, was it because that image wouldn’t go away and was strongly imprinted in his mind?

Yeowon hesitated, lacking the courage to casually blurt out something that anyone would find unusual. He was confused himself, but he definitely needed advice.

“He seems… like a different person.”

“How so?”

Do Youngjae asked lightly. Yeowon’s face was dead serious. Finding it hard to speak, he downed over 40% alcohol in one go.

“It’s like he’s doing things he never did before…”

“So what exactly is it?”

“I can’t say what it is, but it’s just weird. He does things that annoy me. But even when I say something, he doesn’t even blink.”

“Is this the first time you’ve seen him like this?”

“Yeah. It’s the first time, and I never even imagined…”

“But isn’t that unavoidable? If it’s just a new side of him that developed over time.”

“I’m telling you I don’t like it.”

“What’s it got to do with you? No matter how close you two are, aren’t you just friends after all?”

“…”

“It’s not really your place to tell him what to do.”

Is this bastard just saying whatever he wants instead of counseling?

Yeowon raised his eyebrows, as if to say this wasn’t helpful at all, and irritably downed another drink.

“Why wouldn’t it concern me? I’ve known him since we were 7. That’s 15 whole years. I’ve seen Lee Taegang more often than my own parents, so how can it not concern me?”

Yeowon was deeply bothered by Do Youngjae’s words. The idea that it didn’t concern him. How could he be irrelevant to Lee Taegang? After all the years they’ve spent together, he’s practically family to him.

“Hey, why are you getting so worked up?”

Do Youngjae muttered, feigning surprise. He glanced at Yeowon’s expression once more before continuing.

“I’m just saying… just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean he has to stop doing everything.”

“…”

“You know, when I look at you, you seem to have a tendency to try to control Lee Taegang.”

“…”

“But the funny thing is, that Lee Taegang actually listens to you pretty well.”

Even though he looks like someone who wouldn’t listen to anyone.

Do Youngjae mumbled the last part to himself as he transferred ice to his glass. The angular ice made a crisp sound as it fell into the glass.

Although Do Youngjae’s answers were unsatisfactory, Yeowon was at a loss for words again, knowing that what he said wasn’t wrong.

“Then what should I do? Just shut up and endure it?”

“What is there for you to endure? Just accept it.”

“…”

“Just accept it like, ‘Oh, so he was that kind of guy all along, I just didn’t know’ – that’s all.”

“I’m angry because I can’t do that.”

“Come on, friends should know how to compromise too. But seriously, what happened?”

Do Youngjae asked again with genuine curiosity at the vague story, but Yeowon just let out a short sigh.

At his sigh full of exasperation, Do Youngjae let out a brief laugh as if surprised.

“But this time it seems really serious. You’re actually doing the whole counseling thing.”

“Don’t tell Lee Taegang about this.”

“I won’t. I’m closer to you than him anyway.”

Do Youngjae smiled slyly and moved closer. The clear ice made another crisp sound in the golden liquid of alcohol. He casually put his arm around Yeowon’s shoulder and brought up the topic again.

“Don’t be so attached to him.”

“Who says I’m attached?”

“Hey, do you think you two can stay together forever? Let’s say it’s fine for college. But after graduation? Are you going to work at the same place too? What about when you get married later?”

“…”

“No matter if you’ve been together for 15 years or whatever, even friendships need appropriate distance. Just date someone instead. Then you won’t have to be irritated because of Lee Taegang, right?”

It was a clear answer. But it didn’t clear his head. If changing one’s mind was as easy as thinking about it, people in the world would live without stress.

Yeowon neither agreed nor disagreed. Everything Do Youngjae said wasn’t wrong, but there was one thing he overlooked. His relationship with Lee Taegang wasn’t some common friendship that could be pushed aside by just dating someone.

Even if he dated someone, Lee Taegang would still be Lee Taegang. To him, Lee Taegang existed in a category different from all other people. Friend, lover, family, and Lee Taegang. He was the only one who fully understood the meaning of this, so there was no way Do Youngjae could know. He didn’t even want to explain it. People find it hard to understand experiences they haven’t had themselves, and they don’t even try to understand.

That’s what being special meant. That you could get angry over trivial things, that you could be confused. But he thought Lee Taegang would understand that. After all, he had lived with the implicit certainty that Lee Taegang felt the same way about him.

While he was lost in thought, his phone rang. He checked the caller ID and pressed the call button.

“Yeah.”

The caller was Kim Myungjoo. Wondering what it was about, he answered, and Kim Myungjoo spoke loudly over the noisy background.

“Hey! Lee Taegang is here too, you know?”

Surprised by the sudden news, Yeowon asked back.

“What?”

“Lee Taegang is here! I saw him while making my rounds earlier and said hi!”