BHB 119

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?”

Choi Youngdoo’s persistent voice was heard as the golf club in his hand rose to the sky. In that moment when his thought process froze, a shadow fell over him. Everything seemed to flow slowly, as if time had stopped. The golf club aimed precisely at his head, Lee Taegang who had somehow reached right in front of him, and himself slowly being embraced in Taegang’s arms.

In that slow-motion moment, a chilling sound of rupture rang out. More precisely, time began to flow normally again just as he heard the sound of Lee Taegang’s head breaking as it was struck instead, having shielded him in an embrace.

“Gasp.”

Choi Youngdoo, who had struck the wrong target, inhaled sharply and dropped the golf club to the floor. 

Yeowon supported Taegang’s body as it collapsed, losing strength in his legs.

“Lee Taegang…?”

It seemed like his breathing couldn’t be heard. Yeowon, still holding him tightly, fumbled with his hands. Then he saw blood flowing below his nape. No, that couldn’t be possible.

“Hey. Hey…!!”

No way. This couldn’t be happening. Yeowon held Taegang with a stupefied, blank expression.

“Taegang. Lee Taegang.” 

He kept desperately calling out to him with trembling, blood-stained hands, but there was no response.

“Hey, Lee Taegang. Say something!”

Taegang had already lost consciousness and was in terrible shape, having suffered a blow to the head on top of his already battered condition. Yeowon instinctively looked at his father. Asking for help. Asking him to save his son. But the man just clicked his tongue as if exasperated and hid himself in the car. 

Seeing him ignore the situation, Yeowon held Taegang even tighter. “…Taegang. Wait, just wait. I’ll call an ambulance… I’ll call an ambulance.”

Yeowon frantically searched his pockets. He needed to make a call right away, but couldn’t find his phone. As he moved about anxiously, Taegang, whom he had been supporting, fell limply to the floor. 

Yeowon screamed Taegang’s name in desperation as he grabbed him, and everything began to look blurry.

The father’s secretary seemed to be calling an ambulance, making a call somewhere, and the employees surrounding them were uncomfortably avoiding his gaze. As Yeowon looked around helplessly, the panicking Choi Youngdoo came into view.

‘Ah, I have to kill him.’

That was the only thought that came to his mind at that moment. Yeowon rose like a zombie and charged at Choi Youngdoo like an enraged beast. He pushed him down with his body, straddled his waist, and swung his fists blindly.

“Die.”

“Ugh.”

“Die, you son of a bitch!!” His blood-stained fists trembled as if convulsing. But he didn’t stop, striking the guy’s face again and again.

“S-stop… ack.”

“Die.”

“Hurk. Wait… guh!”

“I should have killed you earlier. You bastard. I should have killed you when you were acting like a parasite.” Yeowon muttered as he beat the person with eerily empty eyes. 

Hit, hit again, and as he repeatedly struck, Choi Youngdoo’s resistance gradually weakened as his consciousness seemed to fade. As Choi Youngdoo coughed up blood and his facial bones loosened, showing the whites of his eyes as he was losing consciousness, the underlings rushed over to pull Yeowon off. But Yeowon struggled and summoned all his strength to shake them off, then jumped back to the barely conscious Choi Youngdoo, kicking him in the abdomen, unable to suppress his rage.

It was literally a scene from hell. Lee Taegang lying fallen and bleeding, Han Yeowon struggling like a wild animal so fiercely that even four grown men couldn’t restrain him. Even Taegang’s father, unable to control the situation, finally left. It was a hellish time in the unexpected early dawn.

***

Yeowon closed his eyes tightly as he watched the lit sign of the operating room. If only he had been hit somewhere else, it would have been better, but he was struck precisely on the back of the head. It was a position that could actually be fatal, and he knew that well. It meant he might never see Lee Taegang again.

Yeowon looked down at his hands where blood had dried and clenched them tightly together. From far away, the face of Lee Taegang rushing to save him wouldn’t leave his mind. That embrace that tried to save him despite his battered condition, that scent, still remained with him.

Things in his view began to blur. The wretched situation brought forth emotions that welled up. 

‘Damn it, I couldn’t say anything. …I only said mean things without saying what I really wanted to. I’m so scared you might die that my heart feels like it’s going to burst, and all I can think about is you. The fact that I’ve come to like you this much. That I like you so much that it doesn’t matter if we’re friends or family. I knew all of this but couldn’t say a single line about these feelings.’

Yeowon covered his face filled with self-loathing and dropped his head.

“I told you so.”

Neat footsteps echoed from afar and then stopped abruptly in front of him. Yeowon looked up at the person with a tired, darkened face.

“I told you to contact me first if anything happened.”

As if predicting everything that had occurred, the other person criticized coldly. Unlike the always emotional Taegang, his brother was rational and sharp.

At that moment, the surgery that had seemed like it would never end finally concluded. The operating room light went off, and the doctors who had just finished the surgery appeared. At the call for a guardian, Yeowon wanted to rush over in one leap, but he realized that the proper guardian wasn’t himself but Taegang’s blood relatives.

Lee Tae-joo approached the doctor and had a conversation. After a brief exchange, he slowly approached Yeowon, who was restless.

“What did the doctor say…? Is he okay? Is he alive? Is he going to be alright?” Yeowon asked urgently like someone who had lost his mind, and Tae-joo let out a short sigh at the sight and nodded.

“There’s a crack in his skull, but they say there’s no damage to the brain.”

“…And?”

“Some broken ribs and leg bones, but otherwise fine. Satisfied?”

Yeowon finally exhaled in relief and collapsed into a chair. He really thought Taegang would die. The blood flowing from his head was unforgettable, and his hands, still stained with Taegang’s blood, trembled uncontrollably. But now that he could finally feel relieved, his eyes grew hot. 

‘It was fortunate. It was really fortunate…’

Yeowon covered the corners of his eyes with his hands. He was desperately holding back, afraid he might cry like a child.

“I said he’s fine, so you should go home too.” Tae-joo continued in an annoyed tone.

“…I don’t have one.”

“What?”

“I said I don’t have a place to go back to.”

He had thrown it all away. In anger, in the heat of the moment, he had discarded everything he had with Taegang. Even though that was the only place he belonged, he had thrown it away due to his immature feelings, jealousy, and resentment toward Taegang. In the end, it came back to him as anger. Without Taegang, he truly had nowhere to return to.

“…Hah.”

A deep sigh settled between them. Tae-joo narrowed his eyes slightly, as if considering what to do with the pathetic young man before him.

“Soon, father’s bodyguards will be stationed outside. You can’t stay here.”

“…I can stay somewhere out of sight.”

“You want to catch their attention again?”

“…That person said he would send Taegang far away.”

“So? Do you think you can stop that?”

“…Can’t you help? I’m sorry for ignoring your advice.”

Yeowon put aside all pride and arrogance and pleaded. Right now, there was only one thing—he didn’t want to lose Taegang. He still hadn’t said anything, and yet…

“…Go back for now.” Tae-joo, who had hesitated to answer, said quietly. 

Yeowon knew he couldn’t be stubborn anymore and just stared hopelessly at the operating room door.

He wanted to be there when Taegang woke up, but there was nothing he could do right now.

In the end, he only stayed long enough to see Taegang come out of the operating room before leaving the hospital. Just as Tae-joo had said, as soon as Taegang came out of surgery, bodyguards began to form a line in front of the intensive care unit where he was taken. 

Faced with the fierce barricade that prevented any approach, Yeowon couldn’t even continue watching and turned away.

After leaving the hospital, Yeowon headed not to Do Young-jae’s place but to where he used to live before. To be precise, it was Taegang’s home. He needed Taegang to subdue these overwhelming emotions, and without him, he at least needed something filled with his presence.

As he entered the passcode and went inside, cool air swirled around him. The first thing he saw were alcohol bottles scattered across the floor. The entire house was in complete disarray. It looked abandoned, untouched by human hands. He could see exactly how Taegang had been living through these traces.

Yeowon walked through the place, took off his coat and left it on the floor, then lay down on Taegang’s bed. He buried his face in the pillow and took a long breath. Though faded from not being used for a while, he could still smell Taegang’s scent that had soaked into everything over time. In that moment, embarrassingly, his eyes grew hot again. He hated men crying. Men were supposed to cry only three times in their lives, but Taegang had ruined that for him. He felt irritated, but his heated eyes refused to cool down.

‘I should have just been honest. Why did I have to be so proud? I should have just given in when he said he liked me so much.’ 

Suddenly, he remembered Taegang’s overwhelmed, passionate breathing whenever they had sex. He had thought it was just a habit, but thinking about it now, it was because he truly enjoyed it. It wasn’t just a simple relationship—Taegang had been crazy about him.