BHB 123

“Shit. Stop saying crap like that.”

“Then stop doing that in the future.”

“So you want me to just stand there watching you get hit?”

“Then am I supposed to just watch you taking hits for me?”

“Yeah, just watch. It’s better if I die rather than you.”

Taegang said these absurd words matter-of-factly as he embraced him again. The contrast between his fierce words and sudden embrace was so stark that it prompted an involuntary laugh.

“…You crazy bastard.” Yeowon muttered as he hugged him back once more. 

He controlled his strength, worried about hurting Taegang’s broken ribs, but seemingly dissatisfied with this, Taegang whispered lowly, “Hold me tighter.”

“…You’re hurt right now.”

“Hold me anyway.”

“…You like it that much?”

“Yeah.”

“…Ha.”

“Hurry and hold me. Really tight.”

After saying this, Taegang rubbed his face against Yeowon’s cheek and neck like someone excited. Like someone who had hoped and longed, waited and waited, he clung tightly. He occasionally placed light kisses on Yeowon’s chin and ear, releasing deep sighs. He was so moved by this moment that it was almost embarrassing for the other.

“Stop it. It’s creepy.” Yeowon said this but still affectionately played with the hair at the back of Taegang’s head. Strangely, it felt both unfamiliar and like finding his rightful place.

“…Damn, I just can’t believe this.” Taegang grumbled in a low voice, his voice trembling slightly. 

At this unexpected display of vulnerability, Yeowon let out an incredulous breath.

“Do you really like me?” Taegang asked again. 

At the childish question, Yeowon answered with a helpless smile, “…Yes.”

“…You can’t back out now.”

“I know, I said.”

“Even if you start to dislike me later, you can’t back out.”

“Oh, come on.”

“I won’t let you go.”

“…”

“I’ll do whatever it takes, even the worst things, to keep you from leaving.”

“…”

“…Are you still okay with that?”

He repeated the same words to grasp and re-grasp this situation. His feelings of anxiety about whether Yeowon’s emotions might be momentary were palpable.

“…Yes.”

“…”

“So if you cheat, you’re dead.”

But since it was Taegang who had been more promiscuous than himself, Yeowon warned firmly, though playfully. After all, they were both equally insecure.

“If I catch you sleeping with someone else while saying it’s because of me or whatever.”

“…”

“I’ll really kill everyone. Got it?”

At this fierce threat, Taegang finally smiled. As if releasing tension, he let out a small, deflated laugh, then put his lips to Yeowon’s ear and answered compliantly, “…Yes.”

It was a disturbingly compliant answer. He responded with satisfaction, like someone who had been hoping for this, and kissed him once more. Though it was a very light kiss that barely touched before pulling away, it was more thrilling than ever. Feeling for the first time that such a thrill could exist, Yeowon closed his eyes.

It was really time to go now. They had been embracing for so long that it was impossible to tell how much time had passed. Yeowon tried to release Taegang’s hand that’s holding on for dear life, but it wouldn’t easily let go.

“…I have to go.”

The regret was mutual. Taegang, who had been pushing him to leave earlier, was now acting like he would die if Yeowon left. Looking at the hand gripping so tightly that blood couldn’t circulate, he was like a large dog with only his size to show for it. His face said he wouldn’t let go even if it killed him.

“I’ll come back.”

When Yeowon spoke gently as if to soothe him, Taegang raised his head.

“Where are you going to come? It’s dangerous.” He seemed to dislike the idea of being seen by his family members again.

“Then what should I do?”

“Just stay put, behave yourself.”

“You say that after saying you’d let me go?” He threatened him not to come while absolutely refusing to let go of his hand.

“…I’ll handle everything, so don’t come, just stay put.” Taegang lowered his voice and continued seriously.

“So I’m just supposed to wait?”

“For now.”

“And what if that man captures you and sells you to some island?”

At this sudden, absurd example, Taegang let out a hollow laugh, “Do you think I’d let myself be sold so easily?”

“You never know. They seemed quite well prepared at the villa that day.”

“Anyway, if things get bigger from here, it only disadvantages him. He probably struggled to cover up this incident too.”

“…Really?”

“Being brought to the hospital and having surgery, people who would smell this out have already caught wind of it.”

“…That’s true.”

“That’s why they’ve locked me up like this.” Taegang explained this while gently rubbing his palm. 

He was so close that it tickled Yeowon’s solar plexus, and he wouldn’t move away. Seeing him like this made Yeowon wonder how he had managed to hold back all this time.

“…He told me not to approach you anymore.”

“Ignore it. He was probably just saying that because he was irritated.”

“He even brought up my parents.”

When Yeowon mentioned how he had threatened his parents’ financial resources, Taegang faltered. He looked flustered, perhaps worried that threatening Yeowon’s parents might be a major blow to him.

“…I’ll somehow handle that…”

“But.” Yeowon cut him off, looking at him as if observing his visibly troubled expression. “Your father seems to misunderstand something.”

“…What do you mean?”

“He chose the wrong target for his threats.”

Taegang’s eyebrow twitched as if asking what he meant.

“I don’t care if my parents go bankrupt.”

“…”

“What does it matter, people I barely see.”

“…”

“I told you. You’re the only one who’s like family to me.”

“…”

“If he wanted to threaten me, he should have used you.” Yeowon spoke without hesitation, looking at Taegang’s somewhat flustered face with amusement. 

Then, suddenly remembering how Taegang had shuddered at being called family during their fight, he added playfully, “Of course, you hated being called family and had a fit about it.”

“…Who wants to sleep with someone they consider family?”

“That’s true. But you’re the only one. The only person I could call family.”

With a bitter smile, he gently touched the bruises on Taegang’s arm. His entire body was covered in wounds. The sight of him in such a tattered state kept catching his eye, making his expression harden even as he smiled.

“…And who was it that disappeared without a word?”

Taegang grabbed Yeowon’s other hand that was touching his wounds and looked at him with an expressionless face. Though there was no particular change in his expression, it was no different from glaring.

“…Were you very surprised?”

“Surprised, you ask?” He held Yeowon’s hand like a hostage, letting out a helpless sigh, and gazed at him resentfully.

“Hey, let go of this for a bit…”

“Your phone was turned off, then the next day strangers barged into your house and took your stuff. When I went to school, they said you’d dropped out.”

“…Well, why did you provoke me then?”

“If you’re angry, just beat me up instead.”

Thinking about that time seemed to drive him crazy; he exhaled deeply and leaned against Yeowon. “I’ll accept anything… just don’t think about disappearing.”

He could feel him suppressing his emotions, whether anger or frustration.

“Don’t do it again.”

“….”

“…because I did it all wrong.”

“….”

“…Don’t disappear in front of me.”

Lee Taegang’s grip on Yeowon’s hand tightened as he emphasized his point. He always did this. He always acted like nothing mattered, but every once in a while, he’d break down. Only with Yeowon.

He’d act like nothing mattered, but he’d always be vulnerable with him.

Doing that to himself sometimes made Yeowon feel superior, like he was swaying him and making him feel special. Now that he had a clearer picture of those feelings, they grew out of control. A sense of superiority, but more than that, bravado and possessiveness. He made him feel things that didn’t belong to Yeowon.

“…If you don’t like it, you’ll do better in the future.”

The things he’d done to get back at him must have worked, because he could feel it in his house, but it was so real to see him hanging like this.

As Yeowon let out a silly laugh, he heard footsteps outside the hospital room. The sound of heels made him stiffen, realizing it didn’t sound like a doctor or nurse. Yeowon peeled off the stuck-on Taegang and glanced toward the sound of the door.

“Do you think someone’s coming?”

Taegang felt it too, and a look of wariness crossed his face.

“Come here.”

As he pulled Yeowon’s arm and hid himself behind his back, leaning back in wariness, a slightly unexpected figure entered the room.

“What are you doing in the dark with all the lights off?”

The sound of heels was the sound of formal shoes. It was Lee Taejoo, dressed neatly in his late-night suit, Lee Taegang’s older brother.

He burst through the door and turned on the lights to make his way through the grayish darkness. The moment the room was illuminated, he made eye contact with Yeowon, who was standing behind Taegang’s back.

“…I told him to stay quiet, but he couldn’t resist.” Lee Taejoo clicked his tongue and shook his head in disbelief. 

Realizing he was referring to Yeowon, Lee Taegang hid his back even more cleverly so he wouldn’t be seen.

“You think that’s going to cover up your bulk? Don’t be silly, sit down.”

No matter how big Lee Taegang was, there was no way he could hide his six-foot-four frame. Taejoo shrugged off his unnecessary wariness and nodded toward the reception table with the sofa. Yeowon couldn’t hide his nervousness as he walked over. Lee Taegang expressed his displeasure at Lee Taejoo’s arrival with a look of annoyance on his face, but Yeowon dragged him over and sat him down on the couch.