BHB 136

“…Han Yeowon?”

The teaching assistant’s half-closed eyes widened in surprise at the person before her. Yeowon was already known for causing incidents, and his sudden dropping out had made him even more famous at school. Pleased to see him after so long, the teaching assistant raised her voice cheerfully.

“Hey, it’s been forever!”

Having known each other since freshman year, Yeowon was also genuinely happy to see her.

“Have you been well?”

“…How well can a graduate student be? Can’t you see my face?”

“You do look tired.”

“What brings you here?”

“I’m here to see Do Yeongjae. And to catch up with some other friends too.”

“Right. The kids were really disappointed when you dropped out without saying anything.”

“Yeongjae already scolded me a lot about that.”

“Somehow your face looks even better since you quit.”

“Really?”

“Ah geez, you’ve gotten even more handsome. How annoying.” The teaching assistant jokingly frowned and lightly hit Yeowon’s arm. 

After the brief exchange of greetings, Yeowon hesitated for a moment. There was actually another reason he had stopped her.

“Noona, I have something to ask you…”

Even after bringing it up, he hesitated. It was an awkward question, but his curiosity was piqued. The teaching assistant, finding his uncharacteristic hesitation strange, urged him to continue.

“Yeah? What is it? Miss school already?”

“No, it’s not that.”

When he shook his head firmly, the teaching assistant looked somewhat puzzled.

“If it’s not about school, what could you possibly want to ask me?” She laughed as if this was unusual, never having seen him ask questions so cautiously before.

“…It just came to mind suddenly.”

It was a question that had occurred to him the moment he saw her. Seeing one of Taegang’s former lovers appear before him had naturally brought it to mind.

“Oh, just tell me. Why are you being so hesitant? It’s not like you.”

“…When you were dating Taegang…”

“Taegang? Taegang and… Oh. Ohhhh—”

The teaching assistant looked confused at first, not understanding what he was talking about, but then she snapped her fingers as if suddenly remembering.

“Ah, that’s such ancient history I’d even forgotten we dated.” She responded carelessly, as if it was from a prehistoric era. “But why bring up Taegang?”

“It’s nothing special… just, what was it like dating him?”

The question had suddenly intrigued him upon seeing her. What was Taegang like when dating this person? How did he behave in relationships with others, given his history with numerous lovers and physical encounters? These petty thoughts had led him to ask impulsively.

“Why so suddenly?”

“Oh, well… I was just curious.”

“You’re close with him and don’t know about this?”

“About what?”

“His dating style.”

“…Well, I never really got involved in that stuff.”

The teaching assistant seemed to find his lack of knowledge rather surprising. It made sense that she would be puzzled, given how they were famously closer than former lovers.

“Taegang was well-known.”

“…For what?”

“For being annoying.”

“What?” Yeowon’s face went blank with surprise at the unexpected answer.

“He would date people if they confessed, but he didn’t seem particularly interested in the relationship itself?”

“…Him?”

“Did he ever remember anniversaries? Did he keep in proper contact? And it’s not like he went on dates often either. Even when he did, it felt like he was just killing time.”

As she continued with her casual remarks, Yeowon’s face grew increasingly stupefied at the unexpected revelations.

“I kind of dated him for fun too.”

“…For fun?”

“Yeah. I was curious.”

“About what?”

“Hmm… I’m not sure if I should tell you this…” The teaching assistant suddenly glanced around cautiously and ran her finger across the tip of her nose. Hinting at some embarrassment, she continued, “…He was famous for being well-endowed, you know. I’m sure quite a few girls were curious about that.”

“…What?”

“Good-looking face, nice physique, probably rich too. And then hearing he was that big down there—worth a shot, right?”

“Ha…”

“But he was kind of, you know.” The teaching assistant glanced at him, chuckled slightly, and looked around again. “Ah, should I be talking about this?”

She pretended to be cautious after already saying everything. 

Yeowon, his interest suddenly piqued, hesitated but urged her to continue, “…What is it?”

“Well, since you’re close, you probably already know…”

The teaching assistant smiled faintly again and brushed her lips. “…He couldn’t really finish.”

“What?”

“Ah, this is a bit awkward to say, but it was kind of well-known among the girls.”

Yeowon let out a surprised breath at this completely unexpected information.

“He was so bad at finishing… some even said he was kind of… impotent.”

“What??”

“You didn’t know?”

“No… well… yes…”

“Really? I thought you knew.”

“…Haha…”

“Keep it a secret that I told you, okay?” The teaching assistant put her finger to her lips and spoke secretively. 

Though Yeowon had asked out of curiosity, she was the one excitedly talking like a fish in water. It seemed this was something already gossiped about among those in the know.

“But did he… fix that problem?”

As she probed further with this intimate question, Yeowon couldn’t hide his incredulous smile. 

What nonsense was this? Taegang’s problem was that he finished too easily. Sometimes he’d ejaculate right after entering, and there were even times he’d get embarrassed during kissing, saying he felt like he was about to come. But Yeowon couldn’t possibly explain this, so he could only remain dumbfounded.

He had simply been curious about Taegang’s dating style. He’d wondered if all his relationships had been that way, how others had dealt with him, and partly, he was curious about aspects of Taegang he didn’t know. Although it made him slightly jealous, he wasn’t really envious of Taegang dating women. It would have been a natural course for him as a man, and Yeowon himself had dated many women too.

“Anyway, stop by school again sometime. Noona will treat you to a meal.” The teaching assistant checked the time as if it was time to leave and lightly patted Yeowon’s arm once more. 

Yeowon stood there blankly, too stunned to even remember what expression he had worn while responding. Forgetting his intention to smoke, he slumped down on a nearby bench.

It was both absurd and amusing. The fact that rumors had circulated about Taegang possibly being sexually impotent seemed like something out of a sitcom. He suddenly felt a pang of sympathy… while also finding it strangely funny, which made him feel bewildered at his own reaction.

At that moment, students began pouring out of the college building entrance. The previously quiet area in front of the building became bustling as classes ended. Among the many students, he spotted a familiar figure, and his loose laughter abruptly stopped.

Jeon Chaemin quietly exited the building, carrying textbooks. He seemed to be trying to avoid the noisy crowd, quietly slipping away.

Yeowon always felt strange seeing him. Uncharacteristically, he felt contradictory emotions mixing. An unpleasant feeling, yet one he couldn’t entirely despise—something ambiguous. Unlike the impotence rumors, Taegang had been quite heated when intimate with Jeon Chaemin, and that scene was still vivid. He had treated the other condescendingly, but the passion then seemed genuine. Was it more stimulating with a man? Such unsettling, uncomfortable thoughts coincided with the memory of Jeon Chaemin sincerely professing his love for Taegang, leaving Yeowon’s feelings consistently conflicted.

His smile now gone, Yeowon headed toward the smoking area with an irritated expression. Gnawing on the filter as he lit it, he exhaled smoke like a deep sigh. As the tobacco reached deep into his lungs, his complex thoughts settled heavily.

…Why is this so difficult?

Why is dating one person so complicated?

He had thought he’d forgotten it all without regrets, but recalling past events involuntarily spread unbearable, unpleasant emotions. It felt like malignant cancer cells suddenly engulfing all the cells in his body.

‘Why am I thinking about this again? Fuck.’

Yeowon irritably flicked away his barely-smoked cigarette and squeezed his eyes shut. Soon after, he received a message from Do Yeongjae asking where he was. It was a moment when alcohol was desperately needed.

***

“Ha…”

A solemn sigh escaped from Taegang’s lips. Across from him, Do Yeongjae was nervously glancing around, and Yeowon, the cause of the situation, had his face planted on the table, completely drunk. When Yeowon wouldn’t answer any calls, Do Yeongjae had picked up instead and cautiously asked if Taegang could come get him since he was too intoxicated.

After storming out angrily, Yeowon hadn’t made or received a single call. This had always been Yeowon’s habit. He had to express his anger and irritation somehow, no matter what.

“I didn’t make him drink, okay?” Do Yeongjae, seeing Taegang’s poor expression, immediately defended himself. 

When Taegang was in a bad mood, a unique murderous aura emanated from him that suffocated third parties. He was completely indifferent to whether others felt uncomfortable or not.

“Why did he drink so much?” Taegang spoke without taking his eyes off Yeowon. 

Given Yeowon’s personality, he wouldn’t get this drunk over the minor argument they’d had that morning. He had a high alcohol tolerance, so to be this wasted, he must have really poured it down.

“…Isn’t it because you two fought?” Do Yeongjae’s face showed that was all he knew.

“Did he talk to you about it?”

Wondering if Yeowon had run straight to tell him, Taegang asked curiously, and Do Yeongjae gave a small smirk.

“I can tell without him saying anything.”

“He didn’t talk about it specifically?”

“He did when I asked.”

“What did he say?”

“That you’re hard to live with.”