BHB 137

When Lee Taegang furrowed his eyebrows, Do Youngjae let out a small cough. “When I see you two, you always seem to fight over trivial things.”

“…What’s trivial about it?”

Lee Taegang felt sick just thinking about what happened that morning. Why was he so insistent on going there of all places? It was sometimes frustrating how Han Yeowon acted so confidently, as if he had completely forgotten what happened at the villa. He clearly still didn’t properly understand what kind of people his family members were.

And that wasn’t all—whenever he drinks, he disappears without contacting anyone and doesn’t listen to anything Taegang says. He was acting exactly the same as when they were just friends. Though things were clearly different now from back then, Han Yeowon remained carefree and unbothered. It was only Taegang who was always anxious and nervous. And it was only Taegang who yearned for a more romantic relationship.

“He was complaining that you scolded him for not contacting you, and for not letting him do what he wants.”

“…Tch. I told him he can’t because there are good reasons he shouldn’t.”

“Why do you get to decide that?”

Taegang’s face slightly twisted at the sudden pointed question. 

This time, Do Youngjae continued speaking without particularly watching his words, “I don’t know the details of your relationship. But I roughly know it’s not ordinary now, right?”

“……”

“But even before you two became like that, Han Yeowon would always talk about you.”

“……”

“Even when he was struggling after fighting with you, in the end, he was always worried about you. Though he probably doesn’t realize it himself.”

Whenever Yeowon’s relationship with Taegang soured, it showed immediately on the surface. And when everyone listened to him, it was always about their fights, and when talking about it, Yeowon would pretend otherwise but ultimately conclude that he should give in to Taegang on everything. 

Do Youngjae had known one thing for certain all along: Yeowon was incredibly weak for Taegang. He would be swayed to a ridiculous degree and couldn’t think straight.

“He’s that kind of person, so this time, you should give in a little.”

Although it wasn’t advice from someone who knew everything, Taegang silently gazed at the sleeping Yeowon. 

He knew. Despite Yeowon’s stubborn pride, in the end, he always gave in every time. Taegang also knew well that he had exploited this tendency to get to where they were now, but whenever Yeowon insisted on something absurd, it drove him crazy. Especially when it was related to his family matters, he couldn’t help but be sensitive. He didn’t want Yeowon to experience even a finger’s touch or a harsh word. 

Was that really just his own selfishness?

“But he did say something strange when he was drunk, though I couldn’t quite understand it.”

“What did he say?”

“What was it…?”

Do Youngjae seemed to suddenly remember, and Taegang raised his eyebrows as if telling him to continue.

“Something about a ‘rag’ or whatever…”

“…What?”

“He kept mumbling, so when I listened closely, he kept saying something about being a ‘rag bastard’ or something like that.”

Taegang, equally confused, looked once more at the sleeping Yeowon’s profile. What on earth was he thinking about, again?

He let out another deep sigh, took out a wad of cash and placed it on the table, then lifted Yeowon’s arm and easily slung it over his shoulder. Do Youngjae stared with a dumbfounded expression as Taegang effortlessly carried the large man.

“…I’m leaving first.”

“Oh… okay. Take care.”

“Next time, don’t let him drink this much.”

‘’It’s not like I made him drink?’’

As Do Youngjae looked up with an aggrieved expression, Taegang completely ignored him and walked past. Do Youngjae shook his head as he watched the broad back disappearing, unable to shake the feeling that he was watching a couple pretending not to be one.

Yeowon suddenly regained consciousness due to a throbbing pain. As soon as his eyes opened slightly, he groped around with both arms for his pounding head. When he properly opened his eyes to see what he had inadvertently grabbed, he found a mug of cold water in his hand.

‘What is this…?’ 

Coming to his senses and looking around, he saw unfamiliar furniture and decor. Soon realizing it was the bedroom where he and Taegang slept, he gazed up at the silhouette standing in front of him.

“…What happened?”

His last memory was clearly of drinking with Do Youngjae. He had wanted to buy him a drink after a long time, and he remembered drinking recklessly, but from some point on, his memory became unclear. He had been in a very bad mood and was trying to drown it in alcohol.

Taegang, standing right in front of him, gave no answer. He just looked at Yeowon askance. Yeowon first gulped down the cold water and then handed the empty cup to him. Taegang silently took the cup and placed it on the shelf.

“Did you bring me here?”

When Yeowon asked in a slurred voice, still not completely sober, Taegang answered after a rather long pause, as if holding back his words.

“…Just go back to sleep.”

Looking at the window that took up half the bedroom, the pitch-black night sky still dominated.

“My head hurts.”

“Of course it hurts when you drink like that. How many times a week do you drink anyway?”

“…Stop nagging.” Yeowon muttered while clutching his throbbing head. 

At the murmur indicating annoyance, Taegang again clenched his teeth tightly. Another act of suppression.

“How did you know where to come?”

As Yeowon asked again while pressing his temples, Taegang, who had been about to leave, stopped and turned to look at him. Taegang’s face twisted strangely as he keenly recognized that there was an edge to the question.

“…What?”

“I asked how you knew where to pick me up again.”

It was a continuation of their morning argument. Yeowon asked again with a face still not completely sober. Taegang’s frozen expression must have been quite amusing, as Yeowon let out a soft laugh.

“I’m really curious.”

“……”

“Are you seriously monitoring me?”

As his body swayed while rising from the bed, Yeowon staggered toward Lee Taegang who was standing by the door.

“…You say you like me.”

His pronunciation was slurred, and his eyes were still hazy from alcohol. But it was clearly a drunken truth.

“…You say you really fucking like me but you always… act like a dick.”

“……”

“How much don’t you trust me that you’d monitor your boyfriend… huh?” Yeowon mumbled with an incredulous laugh. Then, still staggering, he pressed his finger firmly against Taegang’s chest. “And fuck… what have I done so wrong to you? Huh?”

“……”

“Yeah, I love drinking and partying. But, you know what? I try… to come home early. Even when it totally kills the mood… I just come home.”

“……”

“…Because of you. …Because I know you fucking hate it… you bastard.”

The finger pushing against Taegang’s chest was replaced by Yeowon’s face. Still drunk and struggling, he leaned his forehead near Taegang’s collarbone and exhaled a heavy breath reeking of alcohol. 

After staying like that for a moment, Yeowon’s half-closed eyes suddenly flew open at the sensation of his body being lifted. It was because Taegang had scooped him up, one arm under his knees and the other supporting his back.

“…What are you doing…”

“Do whatever you want.”

“…What?”

“…I said do whatever you want.”

Apart from the embarrassment of being carried, Yeowon felt his drunkenness instantly evaporate at Taegang’s words as he relented so easily.

“…You mean I can go?”

“If that’s what you want to do, then do it.”

Just that morning, Taegang had been vehemently opposed to the idea.

“……”

“I’m sorry.”

“……”

“I’m just a really exhausting person.”

After apologizing willingly, he added in a low voice. At that moment, Yeowon recalled the words he had spoken earlier.

“Hey, about that…”

“I’m constantly wondering. What you’re doing.” The man who had lifted him up approached the bed again and very carefully set Yeowon down. Then he continued quietly, “Who you’re meeting.”

“……”

“What you’re thinking.”

“……”

“Where you are and what you’re doing.”

“……”

“What you’ve eaten.”

Yeowon stared at him with a dazed expression, as if intoxicated by his continued words.

“I wonder every day, every second.”

“……”

“But you don’t.”

“……”

“I’m the only one who’s always desperate, before and now. Like an idiot.”

His voice was filled with a sigh-like lament. Yeowon remained dumbfounded, unable to say anything.

“But if you’re already tired of it, what are you going to do?”

“……”

“I haven’t even started yet.”

Sitting at the edge of the bed where he had laid Yeowon down, he gently brushed aside Yeowon’s disheveled hair. Every gesture was filled with affection. His gaze looking down, his calm speaking voice, his seemingly casual touch.

Yeowon could only silently swallow, unable to give any response. Whenever he heard such deep feelings, he became speechless. It was at times like this that he truly felt he was dating Lee Taegang.

While Yeowon hesitated to answer, Taegang turned off the mood light on the shelf and quietly said, “Sleep more.” 

With his vision cut off, all Yeowon felt was the disappearance of Taegang’s warmth from the bed, and the sound of him quietly leaving the bedroom. Yeowon held his chest where his heart was pounding intensely and tried to steady his rough breathing.

The fight was temporarily resolved with Taegang backing down. Yeowon also became more subdued and didn’t mention it again afterward. A subtle awkwardness remained, but Yeowon didn’t pay much attention to it. It wasn’t like fighting was anything new for them.

The problem was something else. The conversation he had with the teaching assistant that day at school, and the distant glimpse of Jeon Chaemin suddenly came to mind. The curiosity about things he had forgotten and buried wouldn’t go away. As childish and petty as it was, he was curious. Was it that good with Jeon Chaemin? Was that frivolous lower-body habit, enough to do it at school, now okay?

They had argued about various issues, but what remained most deeply was that curiosity. However, in the situation where Taegang had backed down, bringing it up seemed like it would only make things worse, so he kept his mouth shut. It was already past and over with. Besides, despite everything, his true feeling was that he liked Taegang.