BHB 37

“No… I thought you were only interested in studying… not in playing around like me. You said I only choose to do delinquent things.”

“You said you liked that I studied well.”

“……”

“You said you were proud to have a friend who studies well.”

Taegang didn’t want to admit it. That he had clung so desperately to Yeowon’s casual, playful words. He didn’t want to acknowledge that those words had affected him more strongly than his parents’ coercion or others’ praise. Yeowon had no way of knowing how childishly he had devoted himself to his studies like a madman, enchanted by those words.

And yet, Yeowon showed no interest. In who Taegang was looking at, where he was, who he was meeting, what he was thinking.

Taegang clenched his injured fist and muttered lowly.

“…If that’s how you felt, why are you ignoring me now?”

“……”

“Why the fuck… don’t you hang out with me?”

Suddenly, all those confusing moments came crashing down on him. Yeowon’s retreating figure that seemed endlessly distant, his casual profile, suddenly felt sorrowful. At fifteen, impulsive and still young, Taegang furrowed his brow as he felt his eyes stinging. He was feeling a sadness towards Yeowon that hadn’t emerged even after being beaten for an hour.

Damn puberty. He felt like an idiot, helplessly succumbing to his fluctuating emotions.

“Hey, hey, why are you crying! W-wait. I’m sorry, okay?”

Yeowon hovered around Taegang, not knowing what to do. After alternating between panic and apology, he too seemed to get choked up, his nose turning red.

“Y-you didn’t look for me either…!”

As his voice spilled out indignantly, Taegang regained his composure and ran his hand down his face. Soon, he responded in a calm voice as if nothing had happened.

“I didn’t go because I didn’t want to see you with those guys.”

“Me too. Those goody-two-shoes are fucking annoying.”

At these words that didn’t back down, Taegang finally laughed. It was an empty laugh, like air escaping. He was enjoying this pointless conversation. The nausea that had been rising every day disappeared, and even the places he had been beaten didn’t hurt.

Taegang gladly accepted that he had reached a point where he could no longer ignore or turn a blind eye. The name of the emotion wasn’t necessary. Its existence was enough.

***

In the year Taegang turned seventeen, an incident occurred that turned his household upside down. Due to missing paperwork, he was rejected from the foreign language high school he was supposed to attend, and his parents realized that the only place he had been accepted to was a general high school famous for its low standards. His mother fainted, and his father grabbed the back of his neck and collapsed into a chair.

While they were debating whether to send Taegang to that school or abroad, the eldest son of the family, noticing that his parents were having a headache over their second son, provided a clear answer. He said to keep him where they could see him, as sending him abroad might lead to unmanageable trouble.

It wasn’t wrong. Accepting their eldest son’s opinion, the parents reluctantly allowed Taegang to attend the school known for its low college entrance rates and students uninterested in academics. The word “allow” didn’t quite fit, but it was ultimately them taking a step back. It was a reluctant measure, as even beating or threatening their now physically robust son didn’t work. They now treated Taegang as a child they had given up on. At home, he was mostly treated as invisible, and outside, they often ignored him as if he wasn’t their child. Taegang, too, found this treatment rather comfortable.

At seventeen, Taegang indulged in all sorts of debauchery. During the holiday, he had a growth spurt and easily surpassed 180cm. His height, which allowed him to look down on all his peers, was a good physique for indulging in debauchery. Instead of studying, he began to enjoy sports, and instead of diligently attending classes, he would skip and enjoy drinking and singing at a nearby karaoke. Han Yeowon found the suddenly changed Taegang strange at first but quickly adapted. Yeowon wasn’t virtuous enough to guide his friend onto the right path, and he thoroughly enjoyed the debauchery he committed with Taegang.

“Ah shit. Another blank.”

Han Yeowon, hanging out at the school store, devoured an ice cream in three minutes and carefully checked the writing on the wooden stick. It was already his fifth, but all five had been blanks.

“You shouldn’t gamble. How many have you eaten already?”

Kim Myungjoo scolded, throwing away an ice cream wrapper.

“This is really the last one.”

“Stop eating.”

It was Taegang, sprawled on the store table, who stopped Yeowon from trying once more. He abruptly stood up and grabbed Yeowon’s arm as he was heading towards the ice cream stand.

“Just one more.”

“Cut the crap.”

Tsk. Yeowon had no choice but to sit back down and sprawl on the table like Taegang.

“Ah, lunch was fucking awful. I’m starving to death.”

Kim Myungjoo shook his head, thinking it wasn’t something Yeowon should say after piling his tray with a mountain of rice.

“You’ve already eaten five ice creams. You’re quite the pig, aren’t you?”

“I’m at the age of growing.”

Yeowon replied shamelessly with a playful smile.

“Sometimes I think you’ll get indigestion watching you eat.”

“That’s why you’re so weak.”

“Fuck off! I’ve been taking protein lately, hey look at my arm. How is it? My muscles have grown a bit, right?”

Kim Myungjoo, sitting between Han Yeowon and Lee Taegang, looked rather small. Compared to others, he was average, but he couldn’t compare to Taegang, who was naturally well-built, or Yeowon, who had developed lean muscles from loving sports since childhood.

“Fucking baby.”

As Yeowon muttered mockingly at Kim Myungjoo’s minimal presence, Myungjoo’s mouth twitched.

“You guys are just freakishly big.”

“That’s right, Taegang. Well, our Tae is sometimes freakishly scary.”

Yeowon occasionally thought the same when he saw Taegang’s terrifyingly large build. Yeowon had briefly seen Taegang’s brother, and he was the same. It was clearly genetic. Even Taegang’s father, Congressman Lee Seungkwon, looked robust alone on TV, so it was certain.

“You’re included too, bastard.”

Kim Myungjoo threw a used ice cream stick at Han Yeowon. Yeowon got hit in the face but giggled for some reason.

“Ah shit, I finally found you guys!”

Jin Youngchae, who had just entered the store, frowned. He was one of the dozens in their group and, like Kim Myungjoo, was in the same class so he hung out with them especially often.

“Who told you to go smoke alone?”

Kim Myungjoo scolded, patting the seat next to him.

“Exactly. You trash. If you keep being a chain smoker like that, you’ll die early.”

Yeowon chuckled, leaning on Taegang’s sprawled body. Taegang slightly adjusted his position to let Yeowon lean more comfortably. Yeowon leaned in deeper, his mouth curling up lazily in comfort.

“You guys smoked without me first. Such disloyal bastards.”

“You were hanging out with the Jugwang guys.”

“Ah, they’re from class 5.”

Jin Youngchae grumbled with a disgruntled face. Something else must have happened, as he was clearly irritated.

“While taking a drag, I fucking ran into that bastard.”

“Who?”

“That Choi Youngdu bastard. That brainless fucker.”

Among the juniors, Youngdu was mostly called that way, as his actions and name were the same. Youngdu. Number zero and head two. Empty-headed bastard.

“Ah, I hate him. Didn’t he get suspended recently? Is he already back?”

He had been suspended for three weeks after being reported for extorting and casually beating up students from other schools.

“As soon as he came back, he picked a fight. Said I didn’t greet him properly, kicked my shin and took all my cigarettes, fuck.”

Jin Youngchae was genuinely fuming.

“Wasn’t Senior Seungha there?”

Yeowon sat up straight and asked with wide eyes. Baek Seungha was a third-year who looked enormously big to first-years, and above all, he was the only senior who could shut up the most arrogant Choi Youngdu in the school.

“Of course not. If that senior was there, that bastard would keep his mouth shut.”

“True. Fuck, Youngdu will probably act up more once Senior Seungha graduates.”

Yeowon had been particularly interested in Baek Seungha since recognizing his true worth. Especially after Seungha took the blame and received punishment for the incident at the PC room.

“And Senior Baek Seungha doesn’t seem to hang out with those guys much these days.”

“Originally, those bastards just clung to him. Senior Seungha is on a different level.”

Yeowon continued speaking passionately as if defending him. Only then did Taegang, who had been sprawled out, lift his head. As his mountain-like body moved, Jin Youngchae, sitting opposite, flinched.

“Han Yeowon, every time you go on about Senior Seungha, you sound fucking gay. Cut it out.”

As Kim Myungjoo frowned and scolded him, Yeowon clicked his tongue a couple of times in displeasure.

“Bullshit. This bastard calls everything gay. Want to get beaten by a gay guy?”

“No way. I’ll catch germs.”

“Oh, you little… Annoying bastard.”

As Yeowon pretended to swing his fist at Kim Myungjoo, who was responding playfully, Myungjoo subtly flinched and leaned his upper body back.