BHB 42

Feeling he couldn’t stay alone in the house in this state, Yeowon made a call to a random person. He dialed Do Youngjae, who was at the top of his recent call list, and the call connected shortly.

-Oh, I was just about to call you.

“Where are you?”

-I’m near the school. Want to come out? Everyone’s here now.

“Everyone?”

–Our department mates. You forgot there’s a school event today, right?

“I’ll come. Send me the address.”

-There are juniors too, so dress up. A lot of people are curious about you … hey!

Yeowon hung up without properly listening to the last part and headed to the bathroom. After stripping down to his underwear, he doused himself with cold water, trying to shake off his self-loathing. 

Damn it, he couldn’t forget Taegang’s lust-filled gaze looking down at him, swinging his genitals in an overly provocative manner. That gaze, the suppressed moans, and every vein bulging hideously on Taegang’s enormous dick.

Just recalling that scene made him feel so self-loathing he thought he might go crazy. Even trying to pretend he hadn’t seen it and forget, it would inevitably appear, turning his mind upside down and tormenting him.

‘Still feeling spiteful?’

Even the satisfied smile after splattering his face with strongly scented semen.

He felt like reciting the Bible, turning to a religion he had never believed in before.

**

“You’re here?”

The inside of the establishment was bustling, suggesting it wasn’t just a casual drinking gathering. He had thought it would be just classmates, but there was a diverse crowd from graduating seniors to freshmen who had just entered. Freshmen who recognized Yeowon greeted him with stiff postures, and seniors he had met a few times before joining the military also offered light greetings.

Yeowon wasn’t in a state to casually receive such greetings. Usually, he would have exchanged a few words pretending to be glad to see them and shared a drink or two, but Yeowon merely nodded in acknowledgment and took a seat near Do Youngjae.

“Yeah. Give me some alcohol.” Yeowon found an empty glass and pushed it towards Youngjae. 

Youngjae frowned at the sight of him immediately seeking alcohol and shook his head, tsk-tsking. “Are you an alcoholic? Why are you always talking about drinking?”

“Pour me some soju.”

At Yeowon’s words as he held out a beer glass, Youngjae let out an incredulous laugh, “Are you trying to kill yourself?”

“Ah, yes.”

“You’re still young.” Despite his words, Youngjae obediently poured soju into the beer glass. “What happened this time for you to seek alcohol as soon as you arrived?”

“Nothing happened. I just want to drink quietly.”

“Today’s not the atmosphere for quiet drinking, you know? Not just the freshmen, but the seniors have been really looking forward to seeing you.”

“Ha.” Yeowon let out a short sigh as if annoyed.

“You’ve been ignoring all school events. Even when the seniors wanted to have a drink at the general assembly, you made excuses about not feeling well.”

“As a student, isn’t it enough to attend classes well? What’s the point of events and such?”

“Well, you don’t even attend classes properly.”

Although Youngjae wasn’t wrong, Yeowon didn’t have much affection for the school. He had come to this school reluctantly, following Taegang, and had applied for a major he had zero interest in just to match grades, so he didn’t even care about the classes. He was just enduring because he knew that school time was when he was most free. And Taegang. Simply because it was the school he came to with Taegang. If it weren’t for Taegang, this school would have had no connection to him at all.

“Still, your friend is the department representative, shouldn’t you show some interest?” Youngjae’s arm familiarly wrapped around Yeowon’s shoulder. 

The closeness was intimate, but Yeowon was too preoccupied with drinking to notice.

“By the way, where’s Taegang?”

As Youngjae asked this just as Yeowon was finishing the soju that filled his beer glass, Yeowon’s body froze.

“Why do you always ask about Taegang when you see me?”

At the sudden accusatory tone, Youngjae laughed helplessly with an aggrieved expression, “Who else should I ask? Even our professors know you two are a package deal.”

“… I don’t fucking know. Don’t know where he’s died or whatever.”

“You know what? You two are fighting every time we see you now.”

“That bastard started it first!!”

As Yeowon raised his voice unconsciously while putting down his glass irritably, a momentary silence fell over the noisy interior. As gazes started to stick one by one at the harsh voice, 

Yeowon closed his mouth and let out a long, complicated sigh. “…I don’t know either … what to do.”

“Just how badly did you fight? You guys used to make up within a day even when you fought.” Youngjae calmly continued the conversation while refilling the empty glass. 

It was an uncommon sight to see Yeowon fuming like this. Easy-going, that’s how Youngjae had observed Han Yeowon to be. Not one to have big emotional fluctuations, just letting time and years flow by like water, not persistent or tenacious about anything, a carefree guy. The only time such a guy easily showed emotion was when it came to matters related to Taegang. Of course, since things were usually smooth with Taegang, it was rare to see him like this. It has just become more frequent lately.

“What’s going on, really?” As Youngjae asked gently, as if comforting him, the guy who had been keeping his mouth shut hesitated. “I’d like you two to make up now, you know? The news of your fight has already spread throughout our department.”

“…Really?”

“How could we not know when you’re making it so obvious? You two stand out enough as it is, and now you’re both acting like this, it’s even more noticeable.”

“Ha….” Yeowon let out a complicated sigh, feeling pathetic about causing such a scene unintentionally. He scratched his forehead and then spoke in a low voice with an awkward expression. His voice was so quiet that Youngjae had to lean in close to hear, “It’s just… I think there’s something Taegang wants.”

“Okay … And?”

“But I can’t give it to him.”

“What is it?”

“That … I can’t say.”

“Is it expensive?”

“…Kind of?”

“You’re rich. Just give it to him.”

“No … shit. If it were that simple, I would have given it already.”

“Then?”

“… It’s difficult to give.”

“I mean, what exactly is it?”

Yeowon pondered for a moment at the pointed question. There were several reasons. He was Taegang’s friend, he was a man, and also….

“…It hurts my pride, and makes me angry…”

Come to think of it, there weren’t any specific reasons. Wasn’t what Taegang wanted from him just to sleep with him once?  Or just … Sex.

Yeowon didn’t find sex particularly interesting, so he didn’t attach much significance to it. Even when he had slept with a few girlfriends, he didn’t feel the pleasure and excitement that drove other guys crazy. He wasn’t a scoundrel who slept around with anyone, and he had never met someone for that purpose. He knew that the meaning and purpose of sex differed for everyone, but given Yeowon’s usual personality, he couldn’t help but be surprised by Taegang’s promiscuity.

“Didn’t you say you’ve been close with Taegang since childhood?”

“So what?”

“You give everything to us who aren’t as close as him, why are you being so picky with him?”

“……”

“If you’ve been close for that long, honestly, shouldn’t things like pride not matter?”

Although it was advice given without knowing the full situation, if you thought about it simply, it wasn’t wrong.

“Seeing Taegang being so stubborn, he must really want it. I can’t imagine it because I’ve never seen Taegang be so persistent … Usually, he goes along with everything you say and does whatever you want. Of course, it doesn’t quite suit him, but he’s totally devoted to you, isn’t he?”

It was true. Even though they bickered verbally, it was always Taegang who gave in. Taegang had followed him to this delinquent school, and even compromised with his parents, whom he hated so much, to maintain a peaceful college life with Yeowon. Moreover, he was faithfully attending those suffocating gatherings every year and fulfilling all the minimum conditions they wanted. Taegang, who originally had no intention of going to college, had entered this place because of him.

“This time, just give in. Seeing him so stubborn, he must really want it.” Youngjae casually added while popping popcorn into his mouth. 

They were really simple pieces of advice, but they helped calm Yeowon’s confused and complicated mind a bit. Right, it was a matter of thinking simply, and prioritizing those simple things.

“What are you talking about so seriously?” Someone naturally sat down in the vacant seat. Even under the dim bar lighting, his pure appearance was strikingly noticeable.

It was Youngjae who first recognized Jeon Chaemin and said, “Oh, senior, you came too?”

“Yeah. The kids were insisting I come to the after-party.” Chaemin smiled softly, nodding towards where the seniors were gathered.

“Since you’re graduating soon, you should come to these gatherings more often. Our kids will be devastated when they can’t see you after graduation.” Youngjae flattered Chaemin with a glib response. 

Chaemin, seemingly embarrassed by such admiration, awkwardly laughed it off skillfully. He must have been tired of such talk throughout his school life, probably due to his good looks.

“Is Yeowon not feeling well?” Chaemin naturally changed the subject and asked worriedly. He leaned in close enough for his long eyelashes to be clearly visible, blinking his eyes innocently.

“He fought with Taegang, he says.” When Yeowon couldn’t easily answer, Youngjae replied with a sigh on his behalf. At that, a slight flinch was visible in Chaemin’s small shoulders.