BHB 46

“They always asked for you whenever they saw us.”

The group moved to a convenience store a little away from the police station, and everyone lit up a cigarette as if they had been waiting for it. No matter how experienced one was with police stations, being inside inevitably made one tense and stiff. 

As if to relieve that tension, they all put cigarettes in their mouths, and Youngjae lit one and offered it to Yeowon first. “Are you okay where you got hit?”

After taking a deep drag on the cigarette, Yeowon answered,  “Yeah. Thanks.”

Youngjae examined his face, letting out a small groan, “You’re not okay. It must hurt like hell. Look at that bruise around your eye. Are you alright, sunbae?”

“Yeah. I’m fine, but Yeowon got hurt badly.”

“You’re hurt too, sunbae. Want to go to the hospital?”

“No, I don’t think it’s that serious…”

“I heard we should get medical certificates anyway. You too, Yeowon.”

“Yeah. Anyway, thanks for today. But when did you contact Taegang?”

“While we were going to the police station. I was so surprised, I called right away. But wow, you came so quickly.” Youngjae exhaled deeply and shifted the focus of the conversation to Taegang.

Skipping all other questions, Taegang asked again, “What was the reason for the fight?”

Yeowon rolled his tongue inside his mouth awkwardly, pondering for a moment to find an answer.

“What else? Those bastards were being assholes to Chaemin sunbae, right? Sunbae, have they always been like that?”

“Uh … just … occasionally.”

Youngjae poured out as if he had been waiting to say this, “Those dirty bastards, really. But sometimes when I saw how they treated you, sunbae, I wondered why they acted like that. Touching his thighs, hugging from behind, it was really disgusting. If it had been a girl, they would have been reported long ago. But I think they were subtle about doing it to girls too, so some people were keeping an eye on them.” 

“Is that why you fought?” That was all Taegang said. It wasn’t asking if they were okay, nor cursing those guys. It was just a question.

“This bastard Han Yeowon is always hot-headed in these situations. Going to the police station might be a bit much, but I think he did well. Right, senior?”

When Youngjae, the only one not reading the subtle atmosphere, asked innocently, Chaemin hesitated before nodding slightly. “Thank you, Yeowon.”

After much hesitation and deliberation, what came out was an embarrassed thank you. He knew that while it was appreciated that someone had stood up for him in a wrongful situation, being protected by another man as a man couldn’t be entirely gratifying. Moreover, since the incident had escalated, rumors were bound to spread, and Chaemin was likely to draw attention as a victim of same-sex harassment. Even as a victim, it would be hard to escape the gossip of a man being harassed by another man. Especially for a slim and pretty man.

Seeing Chaemin looking even more intimidated, Yeowon felt heavy-hearted, thinking he had made a mistake again. It was because of his personality that always acted without thinking of the consequences.

“No. Maybe I should have just endured it.”

“No. Really, thank you.”

“Um, go home and rest. You must have been very shocked.” Yeowon ended the awkward conversation, running his hand through his hair with a tired face.

Seeing Chaemin’s subdued appearance, as if he had indeed been very shocked, Yeowon glanced at Taegang. Whether they were dating or not, they were still involved, and Yeowon couldn’t understand Taegang not saying a word even after such an incident. 

Yeowon nudged his arm, “Why don’t you take him home?”

As he said this casually, Taegang, who had been quietly observing the situation, let out a hollow laugh. Taking a deep breath with his lips tightly closed, Taegang grabbed Chaemin’s arm, who had been avoiding eye contact, and turned to leave.

Watching Taegang leave just like that, Yeowon felt a bitter taste in his mouth, even though he had suggested it himself. While finding himself ridiculous, he also felt a strange sense that the situation was unfolding oddly. The recurring entanglement with Chaemin, Taegang’s partner, and those two who didn’t seem to be in a good relationship. On top of that, seeing Taegang with Chaemin kept bringing a bitter feeling, making everything feel strange and twisted.

Youngjae, who had been watching the two disappear together, suddenly interjected, “The atmosphere between those two is really off, isn’t it?”

“What’s strange about it?”

“Why bother taking him home? He’s a grown man.”

“He seemed very shocked.”

“Well, normal people would be very shocked by such a scene. It might be different for ex-delinquents like you.”

“What do you mean, delinquent?”

“Weren’t you famous in Gangnam?”

“Bullshit. Forget it, let’s go drink.”

“Looking like that?”

“The alcohol tastes fucking delicious when drunk like this.”

“You’re really crazy.”

“I’m grateful today, so order whatever you want to eat.”

“You must be so shocked you can’t even eat, man.”

Yeowon started walking in the opposite direction with Youngjae. Resisting the urge to keep looking back, he chatted casually and quickened his pace. When injured and in pain, getting drunk and falling asleep was the best solution.

**

Thanks to drinking heavily with Youngjae and passing out as soon as he got home, Yeowon was able to easily forget the aftermath of his injury. Or so he thought, but he tossed and turned from the stinging pain that came while falling asleep. Even if the cut in his mouth had dulled from drinking, the bruise around his eye and the wounds on his abdomen and arms didn’t easily stop hurting.

‘I should have taken a painkiller before sleeping.’ 

As he pondered briefly, opening his eyes drowsily, he felt a damp sensation touching his wounds. And through his slowly opening eyelids, a familiar figure appeared.

“… Taegang?”

He was sitting at the edge of the bed, applying medicine to his wounds without making a sound. Aside from secretly treating his wounds, how he even got into the house was puzzling.

Yeowon instinctively asked a question, “How did you get in?”

After changing the password, Taegang hadn’t been able to enter his house for a while.

Despite his question, Taegang continued applying ointment to his wounds and spoke, “Did you think I wouldn’t know?”

Yeowon blinked blankly, with a face that clearly thought he wouldn’t know.

“You just reversed the original password.”

“…”

“You’re too stupid to change it to something new.”

“… You’re like a ghost.”

“You’re always in the palm of my hand anyway.” Taegang said these funny things without even smiling.

“… If you knew all along, why didn’t you come until now?”

Suddenly feeling upset, Yeowon looked straight at Taegang without avoiding his treating hands. Taegang pressed his lips tightly and silently took out disinfectant, carefully applying it around his eyes.

“I’m asking why you didn’t come if you knew.”

“…”

“Were you planning to never come back?”

“…”

“You were planning to stay away for good, weren’t you?”

Maybe he had been unconsciously aware of this fact, which is why inexplicable anger kept surging. Because Taegang, who was trying to distance himself, might really drift away. Because Taegang, who always came back as usual, might really leave for good this time.

“You’ll come back now, right?”

“…”

“Like before.”

What Yeowon wanted was just one thing. To go back to how things were. To live as if nothing had happened. To have trivial conversations, sleep together familiarly, eat meals, go to school and attend classes, order delivery food and drink beer. 

To return to that kind of daily life.

Taegang, who had been silent, finished treating him and closed the first aid kit indifferently. Hearing the sound of it closing, Yeowon, suddenly feeling anxious, quickly sat up. 

Due to the sudden movement, his bruised abdomen felt like it had been kicked again, and he grabbed his stomach, groaning in pain, “Ugh.”

It had been a while since he’d fought or been hit, so the pain felt unfamiliar. As he bit back a groan, Taegang hesitated and hurriedly lifted his top. 

Under the streaks of light seeping in from the window, Taegang gritted his teeth as he stared at the bruises spread across his abdomen, side, and arms. “This is why you shouldn’t get into fights you can’t handle….”

Taegang had always been like this. He couldn’t stand seeing him hurt … like an overprotective parent.

“Don’t needlessly interfere again.”

Yeowon could feel his gaze flashing in the unlit room.

“Why did you get involved in Jeon Chaemin’s business, why?”

“… Should I have just watched while those bastards did whatever they wanted?”

“That’s why I’m asking what business it is of yours.”

“How is it not my business?”

“What?”

“It’s the person you’re dating. Knowing that you two are … like that, how could I just stand by and watch?”

“… What?”

“I don’t know exactly what your relationship with that sunbae is … but you must have slept together because you have good feelings for each other, right? So how could I just stay still?”

“Ha….” Taegang sighed dejectedly and rubbed his face. 

Yeowon glared at him with a face full of indignation as his actions for his sake backfired on him.

“You liking and dating men, it’s still weird to me. But fuck … I’m your closest friend. Even if we’ve been fighting lately and you’ve been acting strange, I’m still your fucking close friend, and you’re my closest buddy. How could I just do nothing?”

“… Stop.”

“Would you have done nothing if it were me? If the person I was dating was being mocked by those bastards, wouldn’t you do something? When it’s about my friend, about you, how could I–”

“Stop!”

Yeowon’s eyes widened at Taegang’s sudden outburst. It was the first time he had yelled at him like this, leaving him speechless, his lips quivering.

Taegang took deep breaths, his body shaking slightly, as he clenched his jaw. “That damn friend, friend bullshit, really.”

“… What?”

“Do you want to sleep with your fucking friend?”

“…”

“How many times do I have to say it?”

“…”

“I’ve told you I wanted to have sex with you.”

“…”

“I’ve jerked off thinking about you as my side dish tens, hundreds of times, how many times do I have to say it for you to understand?”