BHB 9

To be honest, Yeowon wasn’t sure if he really needed to go that far, but if he had refused to go to college, Taegang would have likely followed suit—ignoring any promises or agreements he had with his parents. If that happened, their already strained relationship would have plunged into an even worse state. So, Yeowon decided to suck it up and sacrifice himself for the sake of keeping things from getting worse.

Taegang applied to a school that barely matched Yeowon’s grades, even choosing the same major. It was a significant step down for Taegang, but he didn’t seem to care at all—just like when he had followed Yeowon into that poorly ranked-high school.

At first, Yeowon tried to talk him out of it, but Taegang had no interest in ambition or regrets. Pushing him toward a better school was pointless, so after a while, Yeowon gave up. Truthfully, Yeowon didn’t mind. He liked the idea of being at the same college as Taegang, and living next door to him in neighboring apartments was a comforting thought as well.

Sometimes, Yeowon even found a strange sense of superiority in how Taegang followed him around everywhere. During those moments, his trust and affection for Taegang grew so intense that just looking at him brought him joy. Honestly, Yeowon would have done anything for Taegang. He even planned all of Taegang’s class schedules, woke him up every morning to drag him to lectures when he had no intention of going, and every time something good happened—whether it was enjoying a nice meal or planning a fun outing—Taegang was always the first person to cross his mind.

As much as Taegang saw Yeowon as special, Yeowon felt the same way about Taegang. He saw him more often than his own family and considered him closer than a brother.

Maybe that’s why Yeowon felt this self-loathing now. Suddenly Taegang felt like a stranger, and he felt both disappointed in him and aroused by him, leading to an unfamiliar sense of self-loathing that made each day exhausting. Yeowon only realized now how frustrating a person he could be.

Yeowon stood in front of the entrance with unsteady steps. The luxury mansion with only five floors had just two households per floor. Yeowon alternately stared at his own front door and Taegang’s. Although his vision was blurry from drinking over five bottles of beer and soju, unfortunately, he was still conscious. He wasn’t getting drunk easily today.

Yeowon slowly moved his hand, as if carrying a heavy rice sack, and touched Taegang’s door lock. He was about to enter the password but hesitated. The thought ‘not yet’ kept coming to mind. That it wasn’t time yet. That he needed more time to think.

Yes, this confusion he was feeling now might just be temporary. He didn’t want to disrupt his relationship with Taegang because of a momentary misunderstanding. These nonsensical feelings, this disappointment, would soon disappear. It would only be for a very short while. Swallowing these thoughts, Yeowon entered his own home. As soon as he entered, he frowned upon noticing the lights were on. It meant someone was already there. And there was only one person who would enter before the owner.

“You’re back.”

Taegang, who seemed to have just finished showering, came out of the bathroom. He was wearing only a robe over his bare body. Yeowon had tried to ignore him, but seeing him suddenly appear in his house irritated him.

“Why are you here? You have your own place.”

It was quite amusing to see him showering and coming out as if it were his own home when Yeowoon wasn’t even there. It was a common sight, but today it particularly irked him.

“Why are you asking now?”

Taegang replied casually as he opened the refrigerator in the kitchen and took out a can of beer.

“Didn’t you drink with the others?”

Taegang asked nonchalantly after taking a long sip. Yeowon’s brow furrowed, wondering how he knew that. Today, he and Taegang hadn’t exchanged a single message.

“How did you know?”

“The others posted it in the group chat.”

It seemed that Youngjae and Yuna had uploaded proof shots and a group selfie to the class group chat. It was a chat for only the close-knit group of friends. Upon learning the context, Yeowon’s sudden irritation subsided as if cold water had been poured over it. He sat on the sofa, hunched over, checked his phone, and tossed it aside carelessly. His emotions had been fluctuating countless times throughout the day. These disorderly emotions were too unfamiliar and strange for Yeowon.

“What’s so good about them that you always buy them meals?”

Taegang approached Yeowon, who was sitting tiredly, with his can of beer and took a seat next to him. The soft sofa rippled as his heavy body sat down. And the familiar scent of body wash stung his nose. Even though it was his own body wash, it felt unfamiliar coming from Taegang. When mixed with his body odor, it became a completely different scent. It felt more weighty and elegant. Yeowon was even conscious of this familiar body wash scent.

“You…”

Yeowon opened his mouth softly. Taegang’s indifferent gaze fell upon his abrupt, unfriendly words.

“Did you enjoy your meal with that senior?”

This was why he didn’t want to face Taegang today. But his head and actions were not in sync.

“Who… Oh. Jeon Chaemin.”

Taegang didn’t even call him ‘senior’.

“Well, it was okay.”

Taegang skillfully avoided the question again and took another swig of beer. Just as Yeowon was about to turn his gaze away from him, suppressing the urge to ask more, he noticed a reddish mark on his shoulder visible through the robe. Yeowon wasn’t naive enough not to know what it was. It was clearly a fresh mark. It seemed to be just turning bluish. Anyone could see that the unsightly mark was a hickey.

Yeowon’s neck tensed and he could hear his molars grinding.

“Did you sleep with him?”

“What?”

He maintained his usual expression at his low murmur. His nonchalance twisted his insides again. It felt like someone was wringing his internal organs.

“Looks like you fvcked again.”

As soon as he heard something snap inside his, his mouth moved on its own. Pretending not to know really didn’t suit his nature.

“…”

Simultaneously, Taegang’s face gradually hardened. He looked confused as if he might have misheard, but Yeowon confirmed it for him once more.

“You slept with him. That sunbae.”

Even as he said this, Yeowon felt a heat spreading, making his neck area stiff. He couldn’t understand why he had to feel this way.

“…How did you know?”

But what angered him more was his lack of even attempting an excuse. He seemed momentarily surprised, but quickly regained his composure and responded calmly. Yeowon snorted derisively.

“You’re not even trying to make excuses.”

“Do I need to make excuses?”

“You should. You’ve been deceiving me all this time.”

Yeowon glared at Taegang, who seemed brazen to him, and retorted coldly. He knew. He knew that his behavior was crossing a line, that it was presumptuous, but he couldn’t stop. Was it because of the alcohol, or was he just born this way?

“I deceived you?”

This time, Taegang let out a deflated laugh. The sense of bewilderment was palpable.

“You’ve been hiding it all this time, and now you’re brazenly flaunting it. How long have you two been sleeping together?”

“Since when did you care about this?”

“What?”

“Yeowon, since when did you start caring about who I fvck and where?”

Taegang spoke gently with a twisted voice. It was as if he was blaming himself instead. Yeowon ran his tongue inside his mouth and gazed coldly at him.

“He’s a man. That sunbae, Jeon Chaemin.”

It was clearly different whether the person he had been rolling around with was a woman or a man. His feelings, his shock, were on a completely different level. There was no comparison.

“Since when have you been rolling around with a male bastard? You definitely hid that from me.”

“…”

“And you were doing it openly at school. Were you trying to show off? Thanks, I got a good look.”

“Han Yeowon.”

“You were all over each other at school yesterday, and you couldn’t hold back today either, huh? I can see the bite and suck marks on the back of your shoulder, you bastard.”

Yeowon stood up, unable to contain the words bursting out like rapid-fire. He roughly threw off his coat and briefly commanded Taegang, who was sitting quietly watching his.

“Leave.”

“…”

“Just go now. To your place. I don’t want to see your face right now.”

He said this fearing that if he stayed longer, harsher words would come out. As he was about to turn away and enter the bedroom with an expression of irritation and exasperation, a rough force gripped his wrist. It was strong enough to spin his body right back around.

Yeowon hated it most when Taegang exerted his strength. There were two absolute things he couldn’t beat Taegang in – first was height, and second was strength. Although Yeowon also had a body toned by exercise, he couldn’t match the innate strength of Taegang’s 190cm+ frame.

“Let go.”

As Yeowon glared fiercely at the force easily subduing his, Taegang exhaled heavily.

“I don’t understand.”

His tone was light, contrary to his heavy breathing.

“I don’t understand why you’re so angry.”

At his added words, Yeowon breathed heavily and scrunched up his face.

“Is the problem that I’ve been hiding this all along, or that I slept with Jeon Chaemin?”

Yeowon momentarily lost his words at the question that hit the nail on the head. It was an issue he had been confused about as well. Was he angry because he had hidden this fact from him all along, or was it a problem simply because the other party was ‘Jeon Chaemin, a man’?