BHB 93

“What you did to him was just simple jealousy. I was the only person you were closest to who liked someone as much as you. I’ve felt that too. Sometimes when it seemed like some other guy was getting closer to you than me, I’d get annoyed. It’s probably something like that. But you have a more extreme side, so…”

“Are you coming in?”

At his sudden question, Yeowon realized that the place where he had stopped following Taegang was in front of his house. 

His eyebrows twitched at the unexpected question. “Why? Am I not allowed to come in?”

Their conversation wasn’t even finished. All his earlier sentiments about not wanting to see him today had completely disappeared. Yeowon felt like he needed to finish this conversation before he could properly eat, sleep, or even breathe again. He needed to hear that Taegang’s shocking statements were just a misunderstanding so he could go back to living normally. Otherwise, everything… everything would change, and he was on the verge of going crazy.

“It’s not that you can’t.” Taegang answered casually, quietly looking down at him as Yeowon glared up at him with dissatisfaction. His dark eyes smiled contemptibly, as if looking at fearless prey. “You heard everything I said.”

“…”

“That I’ve been dying to fuck you since way back.”

“You…”

His statement completely ignored everything Yeowon had been denying the entire way home.

“And yet you want to come in?”

“…”

“Fine by me.”

Recognizing that he couldn’t win against his confident provocation, Yeowon felt his cheek twitch with anger. “Is that a challenge?”

“Keep doing what you’ve been doing.”

“What?”

“Keep denying it.”

“It’s not denial—!”

“This is why I’ve been holding back like I was dying.”

“…”

“You’re the one who kept provoking me.”

“…”

“Now you have to take responsibility for that.”

It was an absurd statement. Yeowon thinks that when had he ever provoked him? From the beginning, Taegang was the one who provoked him. Taegang was the one who kept acting like someone else, who used their relationship as leverage to threaten Yeowon and make him have sex with him. Yeowon’s only fault was not being able to resist his provocations.

“When did I ever provoke you?”

“You did.”

“Why would I…”

“You were jealous.”

Taegang placed his hand on the front door and lowered his head slightly to meet Yeowon’s eyes. His gaze was like that of an enemy looking for a fight. Provoking the other to strike first was what Taegang did best when picking fights.

“You. You were jealous of Jeon Chaemin.”

That one blow was stronger than his fist. Complex emotions washed over Yeowon. It was shocking enough to suddenly realize that what he felt when he first saw Taegang and Chaemin having sex was jealousy, but it was even more shocking to discover that he knew all along about his sarcastic behavior that stemmed from emotions he hadn’t even recognized himself.

“You gave me the excuse.” His large hand gripped Yeowon’s chin. Then he carefully pulled Yeowon closer and kissed him. Taegang opened his mouth and kissed Yeowon as if he would devour him whole while Yeowon floundered, unable to either consent or object. As Taegang opened his mouth to swallow Yeowon’s frozen lips and tried to force his closed lips open to mix their tongues, Yeowon roughly pushed him away. 

Yeowon shoved him with a thud and then wiped his lips vigorously with the back of his hand, breathing heavily. “Don’t do this to me anymore.”

For a moment, Yeowon almost instinctively grabbed his head and opened his mouth. It was the exact behavior he should be guarding against. Mixing bodies was no longer a way to bring him back.

“Why? Did you find someone else?”

“What?”

“After spreading your legs and enjoying it so much, there must be a reason you suddenly want to stop.”

This was the beginning of the conversation that had been buried under his shocking statements. Yeowon was momentarily confused and awkwardly blinked. He was surprised that there was something he had forgotten.

“Is that important right now?”

“If not that beggar Baek Seungha, then who is it?”

“…”

“Jeon Chaemin?”

“What?”

Yeowon couldn’t help but get angry at his infuriating words. When Yeowon glared at him sharply, Taegang leisurely chose another target.

“Do Yeongjae.”

“Why are there no women on your list of suspects?”

“Because it’s easier to get revenge on men.”

At his ridiculous reason, Yeowon placed his hands on his hips and exhaled deeply, “I really cannot understand any of this.”

It wasn’t just Taegang. Yeowon suddenly remembered Jeon Chaemin, who had confessed to him recently. He couldn’t understand how they could casually date and have sex with other people while claiming to like someone.

“How can all of you say you like someone…” Yeowon muttered as if talking to himself and averted his gaze. With no more words to deny or be shocked about, he backed away with an exhausted expression. “Enough. Let’s stop for today.”

Feeling like his insides would burst if they continued talking, Yeowon turned to leave. But he was roughly turned back around. 

Taegang, gripping his arm fiercely, stood like a totem pole and continued coldly, “We’re not done talking yet.”

“Let go, it hurts.”

“I’m asking who it is.”

Yeowon gritted his teeth, feeling exasperated by his repetitive questioning. But he couldn’t tell him the real reason. Saying “I’m being careful because of your parents” would be too hypocritical. That kind of reason would never work with him anyway. Taegang really hated when he worried about anything because of his parents. Besides, that was only a secondary reason.

It was because of himself. Yeowon was afraid that if this continued, something serious would happen to him. That he might start seeing his friend differently. That these petty emotions would keep making him troubled, so…

Yeowon roughly shook off his arm before his thoughts could go further. It was absurd. To suddenly see someone he’d known for almost 20 years as something other than a friend. Emotions were shallow and easily passed by like the wind. How lightweight were feelings that could be shaken by just having sex a few times? They couldn’t take away his years, his one and only person.

“I do have someone.”

“…”

“That’s why I’m stopping this with you now.”

“…”

“Unlike you… when I like someone, I can’t…”

“…”

“… sleep with someone else.”

‘So you should admit it too. That you were momentarily swept up in shallow emotions. That your feelings were just an illusion that could have been satisfied with anyone else.’

***

The first thing Yeowon did the very next morning was buy a car. He went to the closest foreign car dealership and asked for the fastest available car. When he said the price didn’t matter, the salespeople’s eyes changed.

Yeowon had only two requirements: it had to be ready by tomorrow at the latest, and it had to be a sports car. The salespeople made urgent phone calls, and after dozens of calls, a sales representative confidently nodded that it was possible. He made a fuss saying it was only possible because a VIP had canceled their reservation, and Yeowon could receive it as early as this evening. Yeowon handed over his unlimited credit card without hesitation.

After making the one-time payment in the tens of millions, his father’s secretary called. It was the first time he’d spent that much at once, so they were checking to see if his card had been stolen. When he told them he’d bought a car, they hung up as if they finally understood.

Whenever Yeowon fought with Taegang and left, the first inconvenience was not having a car. Although he wasn’t as skilled a driver as Taegang, he had a license, so there was no problem. After quickly finishing the contract, Yeowon headed to a hotel lounge bar. It was a place he’d visited a few times with ex-girlfriends. It was just right for indulging in luxury comfortably.

In the luxurious space with three sides made of glass windows, Yeowon sat in a seat with a good view of the outside and passed time blankly. He didn’t want to be at home, and he didn’t want to go to school either. He was just considering whether to get a room here and stay for a while.

A man in a three-piece suit, noticeable even from far away, entered the lounge with a woman. As soon as he entered, all the employees came out to greet him. It was clearly VIP treatment, and the service was exceptional. And even Yeowon could plainly see that this man was quite extraordinary. It would be strange not to know who he was. The man, impressive even from a distance, looked different from his friend but was genetically very similar.

As they say, troubles never come alone. Yeowon briefly considered leaving as soon as he saw the man. The man was none other than Lee Taejoo, Taegang’s blood relative. He was also famous for becoming a senior prosecutor at a young age. Yeowon knew this because Taegang once had to attend a celebration party when his brother Lee Taejoo became a senior prosecutor. It was a serious gathering full of important people, and Taegang had to attend without fail—his parents even sent someone to make sure he wouldn’t miss it.

“It’s been a while.”

The moment their eyes met for a split second, he was the one who recognized Yeowon first. The man, who had been pleasantly conversing with his female partner, stood up and slowly approached Yeowon. Even his walk was formal, making Yeowon feel all the more uncomfortable.

“Ah… yes, well.”

Yeowon awkwardly nodded in greeting.