BHB 98

Yeowon was terribly confused by his complicated feelings, and it felt like it was all Lee Taegang’s fault. No, it was definitely Lee Taegang’s fault.

“Get lost.” Yeowon harshly wiped his face, messy from drinking, and coldly snapped. 

The atmosphere suddenly became intensely chilly. That was because there was absolutely no playfulness to be found in Yeowon’s sudden anger. Even Kim Myungjoo and Jin Youngchae, who had been laughing mindlessly from intoxication, froze.

“You’re drunk. Come out.”

Lee Taegang, who had paused momentarily, responded casually and reached out his hand again to support Yeowon’s swaying arm. But Yeowon struck it away again, so roughly that it made a sharp sound.

“I said get lost.” He threatened through gritted teeth. Then he glared at Kim Myungjoo and Jin Youngchae, who were still conscious, and asked, “Who called this bastard?”

As the blame was suddenly directed at the innocent guys, both Kim Myungjoo and Jin Youngchae only exchanged glances without readily answering. They didn’t respond playfully, seeming to quickly notice that the atmosphere between the two was unusual.

“Ah… shit. This got really boring.”

Irritated by Lee Taegang’s sudden appearance, Yeowon staggered out of his seat. Lee Taegang also seemed annoyed, rubbing his neck area with a subdued expression.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you leaving?”

When Kim Myungjoo, who had been cautiously observing, carefully asked Yeowon as he was about to leave first, Yeowon turned to him while clapping his hands exaggeratedly. With a heavily intoxicated face, he suddenly grinned widely.

“Oh right. Anyway, congratulations. Become super rich, Myungjoo.”

As Yeowon recalled the reason for this gathering and wished for his friend’s prosperity, Kim Myungjoo awkwardly smiled and carefully answered, “Oh, yeah…” while glancing at Lee Taegang. Feeling somehow responsible for Yeowon’s heavily intoxicated state, he unconsciously checked Lee Taegang’s mood. There was no expression on Lee Taegang’s face.

“I’m going first. Thanks for the drinks.”

Yeowon staggered, patted Kim Myungjoo’s shoulder a couple of times, and made his way through the remaining people to leave. Of course, even while drunk, he could tell that Lee Taegang was following him. Amusingly, it seemed that even when one’s mind was going back and forth, they still tracked the movements of someone they were concerned about.

After leaving the building, he told the valet parking attendant his car number, and the man immediately recognized it and handed over the car keys. Lee Taegang, who had been following behind, narrowed his brow.

“Where did you get a car?” He asked accusingly, snatching the car keys from Yeowon’s hand. 

Yeowon glared at him with eyes full of discontent at his forceful attitude. “None of your business where I got it.”

“Suddenly, where did it come from?”

“I bought it, so what? What’s the problem?”

More irritated by the inexplicable interrogation, Yeowon snatched back the car keys that Lee Taegang had taken.

“Why did you suddenly buy a car?”

“Ha. What’s it to you?”

Along with the interrogation, he couldn’t remember where the car was, so he kept pressing the open button, becoming irritable for no reason. When a sports car revealed its location with a mechanical sound, Yeowon moved toward it. And the moment he opened the driver’s door, it was roughly closed again by someone else’s force. 

When Yeowon looked up with fierce eyes, Lee Taegang sighed and held out his hand. “Give me the car keys.”

“…”

“If you’re not going to drive in that state, stop being difficult and hand them over.”

At Lee Taegang’s rational words, Yeowon couldn’t maintain his childish stubbornness any longer and, after hesitating briefly, threw the car keys toward the other’s chest. He didn’t particularly want to ride in the same car, but he couldn’t drive with his vision splitting in two.

Sitting in the passenger seat, Yeowon turned his body completely toward the window, reclined, and closed his eyes. It was an act of blocking everything about Lee Taegang, whether conversation or anything else.

He moved the car silently. The ride, which had felt rough when he was driving, was now much smoother. Only when the driver changed did the car reveal its true luxury status.

Yeowon quietly opened his eyes. Then he gently opened the window and stared blankly beyond it. Although it was late dawn, outside the window was as bright as day due to neon signs. Feeling a sense of distance from the stark contrast created by the coexistence of night and day, Yeowon calmed his wild mood. The air inside the car, without a single word of conversation, made him calm.

“I met hyung earlier.” So he suddenly opened his mouth. He didn’t even look toward the driver’s seat. “He said he was sorry to me.”

Even without a response, Yeowon continued speaking. He spoke as if it didn’t matter at all whether there was a response or not.

“I got a bit angry, you know?”

As they left the busy area, only a quiet, dark road existed before the two of them.

“Anyway, it’s true that Hyung promised not to see me. When I think about it, it really hurts, you know? Rather than accepting that ridiculous condition, it would have been better if he had taken money from me. That’s how simply I thought about it. But for that senior, that hyung, more than any situation, more than any desperate situation, he hated that more. To that person who wanted to be an adult to me, who wanted to be a hyung to me, it was better to receive money from Lee Taegang, even if it was pathetic. I just… fucking… got angry.”

“…”

“Hey. Lee Taegang.” Yeowon turned to look at him belatedly and called him softly. “Why did you go that far?”

“…”

“He was already struggling, why did you have to go that far?”

“…”

“Fuck… Do you know how… how shitty I feel because of you?”

The guilt toward Baek Seungha, and his feelings of regret, it all felt like shit. He couldn’t understand why he had to feel guilty. It was absurd that Lee Taegang had done such things behind his back, and it was also ridiculous to the point where he couldn’t even laugh that he had forced someone to drop out of school just because he claimed to like him. Also, the fact that he had targeted the man when he was at his most miserable and desperate was irrational behavior, and the distance he felt toward Lee Taegang, who now seemed like a different person, was also making him suffer.

“Because you liked me?” Yeowon let out a hollow laugh, finding the reason ridiculous. “Bullshit. Who treats someone they like this way?”

“…”

“The coward is you. You who do such things behind someone’s back.”

He never believed it in the first place. If he had really liked him, instead of driving Baek Seungha away behind his back, he should have properly spoken to him directly. Regardless of how he might have reacted, he should have faced it properly. It was Lee Taegang who avoided and ran away from that, and that was what was cowardly.

Yeowon poured out his accusations randomly. As if expelling garbage emotions, he blamed everything on Lee Taegang and spewed words haphazardly under the influence of alcohol. Lee Taegang just listened while driving, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. His calm demeanor provoked even more irritation. His life had been relatively peaceful and stable. But Lee Taegang had ruined it all. Rolling around with men, getting aroused around him, and now claiming to like him. The moment he said those things, it felt laughable. Those emotions of liking someone. Even his own feelings, wondering if he might like the guy, felt pathetic.

“You really messed up.”

The image of Baek Seungha apologizing to him was stuck in his mind like guilt and wouldn’t disappear. He had gone on about how much he liked his senior, but in reality, he hadn’t done anything for him. Because of him, the senior couldn’t even finish his studies and had gone to some unknown place to live with his siblings. Nevertheless, the afterimage of him apologizing to him was tormenting Yeowon.

“You fucking… you’re really a bastard.”

Yeowon took out his agony on Lee Taegang. Slurring his words as if drunk-talking, Yeowon reclined in his seat again. His body went limp and his eyes became unfocused from intoxication. As his excited emotions began to be buried by drowsiness, the focus of his eyes blurred.

The profile of Lee Taegang, who was just silently driving despite the forced accusations, became hazy. Even in his fading consciousness, Yeowon couldn’t stop muttering that he was a bastard. Despite this, the guy seemed familiar with him falling asleep, covering him with a coat and reclining the seat further to help him sleep comfortably. He was a funny guy.

When he regained his senses somewhat awkwardly, the car was already stopped. He couldn’t tell how long it had been stopped. As he gained a faint consciousness, he saw Lee Taegang sitting quietly in the driver’s seat. He had been in the same position, just looking ahead, for who knows how long. When Yeowon unconsciously followed Lee Taegang’s gaze, he saw that the deep, black night was turning blue. It was a brief sign before the sun rose.

At least a couple of hours. During that time, Lee Taegang must have been keeping his place. Unable to understand his intention, Yeowon narrowed his brow and first unbuckled his seatbelt. 

Then, with a sluggish tone still affected by alcohol, he complained, “If we’ve arrived, you should have woken me up.”

He was about to ask what he was doing, but closed his mouth. He didn’t want to talk to the guy for long. Just as he was about to grab the door handle, leaving behind the guy who still seemed frozen in the same position.

“Do you hate it that much?”

A single question, cutting off both the beginning and end, was asked in a low voice.

“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”

At the incomprehensible words, Yeowon clutched his throbbing head. The hangover was terrible.

“That I like you.”

And then Lee Taegang asked again with an expressionless face and an emotionless voice.