GB 101

The boiler room storage was very warm. Haero and Yoon Moo-hwa sat facing each other with their legs raised and crossed, sharing a palm-sized container of jelly pudding. Though such sweet things weren’t to his taste, Yoon Moo-hwa willingly accepted the spoonful that Haero offered like a mother bird, finding it cute how much Haero wanted him to eat it.

“But why here?”

The boiler room that Yoon Moo-hwa had summoned him to after duty hours was literally steaming with heat. Haero had loosened his activity uniform tie, his face flushed. He eagerly ate the cold jelly with beads of sweat on his nose and forehead.

“I had some things to discuss with the chief engineer.”

This was a place filled with situations that might require emergency maneuvers. Yoon Moo-hwa had been trying to familiarize himself with what he needed to know to avoid requiring reports from the engine room only when emergency maneuvers became necessary.

“But it’s hot here.”

“You’re good with heat, though.”

Haero was the type to sweat quite a bit. Yoon Moo-hwa rubbed the bridge of Haero’s nose with his thumb and asked, “So, you won’t be coming for a while?”

Haero looked to the side and slowly nodded.

He had just mentioned that the chief medical officer might have seen them.

“I don’t think you need to worry about it. Since I’m the one you’re dating, no one will spread rumors carelessly.”

“Huh? Dating?”

Nodding, Yoon Moo-hwa frowned as something seemed odd.

“Of course we’re dating. What else would you call it?”

Yoon Moo-hwa asked with a smiling face. But Haero was certain Yoon Moo-hwa wasn’t really smiling. Only the corners of his mouth turned up; his eyes weren’t smiling. Even though it was folded, that artificial eye was telling the truth. Haero had a remarkable talent for reading Yoon Moo-hwa’s artificial eye, despite it being just a complex machine, because it was part of Yoon Moo-hwa. A talent that only worked with Yoon Moo-hwa.

“We never said that…”

“What? Then were we just sleeping together?” Though he spoke with a smile, Yoon Moo-hwa’s words had an edge.

Since it wasn’t wrong, Haero nodded reflexively, then hastily shook his head. “We’re not just sleeping together, it’s more than that, but what kind of relationship…”

To Haero, Yoon Moo-hwa was like the only answer to a very clear mathematical formula, so he hadn’t thought that he needed to rename their relationship just because the act they shared changed.

He hadn’t expected Yoon Moo-hwa to ask about such things.

Looking at Haero’s awkwardly frozen face, Yoon Moo-hwa rubbed his forehead.

Somehow, the role of being hung up on whether they were dating or not seemed to have fallen to him, the older one who had experienced all sorts of worldly matters.

“Our feelings matched. And we sleep together…” As Haero tried to explain, his words became stranger the more he spoke, “Ah. A relationship where feelings match so we sleep together.”

Yoon Moo-hwa’s peculiar smile deepened.

He pulled his body back. Only then did Haero realize that Yoon Moo-hwa had been close enough to be right in front of his face. When he moved away, Haero could strangely breathe more easily. It was odd. He shouldn’t have any reason to be tense in front of Yoon Moo-hwa.

“I see. A relationship where feelings match so we sleep together. Just because our feelings match, we kiss, have sex, and hide in the boiler room to share snacks. Not any particular relationship, just that our hearts connected. Right?”

Uh, wait.

Though it was all true, it seemed like he shouldn’t nod here.

Having unknowingly set fire to Yoon Moo-hwa’s heartstrings once more, Haero backed away to the corner.

At that moment, a large hand slammed against the wall beside Haero’s face.

“Haero.”

“Y-yes?”

“Lieutenant Haero.”

“Yes, yes sir.”

“Do I seem like the kind of trash who uses my position to enjoy private physical activities with the Lieutenant?”

“N-no. Not at all, sir.”

“Then would you prefer if we were just having sex?”

“No, no sir. No.”

Yoon Moo-hwa’s face was suddenly very close. He let out a soft “hmm” with a strange smile, then asked once more, “Then when others ask, should we say we’re just siblings who occasionally sleep together, or what should we say?”

Though the question was clearly asked gently and softly, it was somehow intimidating. Haero felt as if he were trapped in an interrogation room rather than a boiler room storage.

“What kind of relationship are we? Hmm?”

Hiccup.

In the brief silence that followed, the sound of Haero’s hiccup spread.

Yoon Moo-hwa’s heavily downcast gaze lightened for just a moment.

Hiccup.

After hiccupping again, Haero rolled his eyes and very carefully asked Yoon Moo-hwa”I didn’t know… you cared about what others might ask about us.”

“……”

“I mean, I’ve only been thinking about you… thinking that I just needed to have you completely, so I didn’t consider that far…”

Yoon Moo-hwa felt an intense itch at Haero’s fumbling words. He wanted to pull out his heart and scratch it vigorously. It was so tender, cute, and lovable. How could he blame someone who, because of his desire for him, saw only him and hadn’t considered or learned about anything else?

In fact, it was Yoon Moo-hwa himself who had been most indifferent to others’ gazes and felt an unspeakable annoyance at redefining relationships.

But now, he had become incredibly childish and felt the urge to interrogate about what kind of relationship they had.

“I think my impatient heart skipped some steps.” Yoon Moo-hwa murmured as he found Haero’s hand and interlaced their fingers.

On that wrist was a thin bracelet. A warning to others that Yoon Moo-hwa had left on Haero’s body even before becoming aware of his own feelings.

“This is your first time, but I’ve been rushing ahead.”

Haero had weak immunity to Yoon Moo-hwa’s honesty. When told so frankly, his face turned bright red and he didn’t know what to do. It was very cute. He fearlessly plunged into everything else, but when it came to defining their relationship with words like “dating”—this simple thing that should have come first—he didn’t know how to approach it.

“You said you… think of me as yours. I want to possess Haero too. And I’d like everyone to know. So why just sleep together?”

‘If you knew what thoughts I’ve had about you, this cute dilemma of simply redefining our relationship wouldn’t be the end of it.’

Fortunately, Haero’s face was suffused with ecstasy at Yoon Moo-hwa’s words.

Though his body and mind had grown significantly, in some aspects, Haero was still immature. Especially in the construction of Haero’s core values and moral boundaries, his childhood experiences couldn’t be ignored. Haero’s core memories were quite savage.

The words about possessing each other resonated more powerfully than any confession could.

Haero’s eyes began to sparkle wildly. His emotions seemed ready to overflow and burst out, “Then say it with your own mouth.”

Yoon Moo-hwa was slightly pushed back by Haero’s force.

“Say it with your own mouth. This is my first time. I want to hear you say it first. Say you want to date me! Say you want to date me! Hurry!” Haero’s eyes shone like the surface of the sea bathed in sunlight. He asked with eyes impossible to refuse.

Hearing such words from Haero’s mouth, Yoon Moo-hwa became quite embarrassed as he realized the childishness of his previous behavior. Despite being quite older and having personally dressed, fed, and even raised Haero, he had been more immature than him.

‘What am I doing? Leading questions to a kid like this.’

“Hmm? Quickly. Answer quickly, please. Yes?”

But what could he do? Even during those four years, it was he who had become more childish. It wouldn’t be surprising if he were stripped bare before Haero. Rather, he was curious—no, eager—to see how much more honest Haero would make him in the future.

Yoon Moo-hwa removed the hand that had been supporting his forehead in deep turmoil. And Haero’s words were not wrong in any way. He wanted to date Haero. And shouldn’t he be the one to take this step first? 

‘Everything was a first for this child. I am his first.’

“Yes. You’re right.”

‘Dating or whatever, I’ve never said such words in my life nor placed meaning in such relationships. Why is it so important to you? Why do I want to prove myself so much?’

“What we’re doing is dating, Haero. How much I’ve wanted to date you. I want to be Haero’s boyfriend.”

‘I held back for years because such feelings were terrifying. Yet in the end, this is how it would be. How could I ever reject you?

Haero clearly makes me anxious. That was a significant weakness for me and a toxic phenomenon.

Could that fact serve as an absolution for the things I do to you?’

Unaware of Yoon Moo-hwa’s complex inner thoughts, Haero grinned broadly.

***

In the captain’s private dining area, somehow the incident had been relayed, and whenever Yoon Moo-hwa appeared, everyone turned off the TV—even when that drama wasn’t playing. It seemed a misunderstanding had arisen, but Yoon Moo-hwa hadn’t bothered to correct it. 

Wearing only Yoon Moo-hwa’s shirt while wandering through the captain’s quarters, Haero asked without suspicion, “The TV keeps turning off and on these days. Must be poor signal reception.”

Yoon Moo-hwa, who was reading a book with one hand supporting his head, knew the reason perfectly well but pretended not to, saying, “Really? That happens sometimes.”

When he closed his book and reached out to Haero, somehow sensing it, Haero turned around immediately and shuffled over.

Since their meeting in the boiler room storage, the two had been meeting in various hidden places around the ship, including the ammunition storage. Haero finally understood why the specialists had scoffed at the idea that prohibiting shipboard romances would actually stop them. The ship truly had many hidden places, and Yoon Moo-hwa knew all of them surprisingly well—like the back of his hand.

“Why? Is there something you want to watch?” Yoon Moo-hwa asked affectionately. 

Haero felt a tingling pleasure throughout his body when Yoon Moo-hwa asked like this and looked at him this way. He wanted to act more mature and hide his feelings, but it was useless. Before he could even decide to act mature, a goofy “hehe” laugh escaped him.

“No, just that there’s an interesting drama I’ve been watching.”

A look of confusion appeared in Haero’s eyes after he answered.

Could it be? Yoon Moo-hwa’s face was still smiling kindly, but the eye hidden behind his eye patch had sunk.

Perhaps due to his upbringing, Haero had developed somewhat animal-like instincts, and he suddenly pushed up Yoon Moo-hwa’s eye patch. Had it been anyone else, they would have been subdued before their hand even reached him. Though he restrained himself knowing it was Haero, Yoon Moo-hwa’s body reflexively tensed solid.

Not at all tense despite the body that had stiffened like a weapon, Haero complained to Yoon Moo-hwa’s hand that quickly covered his eyes.

“Why are you suddenly covering it. I don’t mind that sort of thing.”

“You’re right. I wonder why I did that. I guess I was startled when you suddenly reached out. Be careful.”

He didn’t mean be careful so you don’t get hurt, but be careful so I don’t accidentally hurt you. Understanding the omitted meaning fully, Haero said he understood, but urged him to remove his hand because he wanted to see Yoon Moo-hwa’s eye.

As Yoon Moo-hwa slowly lowered his hand, a pitch-black hole of unfathomable depth appeared. Depending on the situation, the focus that served as a pupil would split into two, sometimes appearing like two moons that could only exist in imagination.

Haero stared at it in a daze. It seems his feeling that Yoon Moo-hwa had become upset just moments ago was just his imagination.

“Don’t watch too many strange videos. It’s not good for your mental health.”

“Why? Will you put on parental controls like before?”

Haero joked with a spinning grin. Then, finding it funny, he burst out laughing, a sound soft and refreshing like sea foam breaking on gentle waves at a resort.

Suppressing a very old impulse to really set parental controls—and if possible, even stricter restrictions—on Haero forever, Yoon Moo-hwa wrapped his arm around Haero’s shoulders and pulled him close. 

Embracing him tightly, he pressed his lips to Haero’s forehead and murmured, “No. Now I’d do something other than parental controls. Like taking you back to that island and being the only one who sees you…”

“Wow, I never even thought of that!”‘Of course you wouldn’t think that way. It seems you still think my words aren’t serious.’ Yoon Moo-hwa joined in Haero’s loud laughter, pretending it was just a joke.