GB 37

Haero was bravely navigating through a maze. It was a deep forest, and he was very tall. It felt strange, as if he had been very small until yesterday and suddenly grown. With his heightened perspective matching his enlarged body, he maneuvered through the dense trees and vines.

Suddenly, his head started to ache.

What’s wrong?

The question seemed to appear in his mind like subtitles rather than being heard through his ears as a voice.

Haero, not feeling any sense of incongruity, just shook his head.

It’s nothing. Nothing at all. Let’s keep going.

He walked ahead bravely, pretending it was nothing, but the headache only got worse.

Finally, unable to bear it, he almost started to stagger, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, I said…” But those words didn’t come out of his mouth.

The person following behind, whose identity he couldn’t quite grasp, wrapped their arms around Haero’s waist. They prevented him from falling forward and pulled him firmly into their embrace.

It was strange. He had clearly thought he was bigger than the person behind him, that the one behind was smaller. But when embraced, it was the opposite.

“Are you alright?”

Alright, then it seemed they called him something. He wanted to turn around. He wanted to see that face. An intense impulse and desire arose.

And just as he was about to turn, Haero woke up with a tremendous headache.

“…What?”

At first, even the headache felt like someone else’s, but as he woke up, Haero became aware of his own body.

“Ugh, what is this? My head…”

His head hurt as if his eyeballs were about to pop out or explode. Haero rubbed his throbbing temples as he got up.

As soon as he stood up, now the floor seemed to shake. He felt like he might throw up while staggering, but couldn’t. Haero walked without knowing where he was going and suddenly bumped his forehead hard against something.

“Oh dear.”

An awkward voice popped out. And just like in the dream, there were hands wrapping around Haero’s waist, preventing him from falling backwards.

In that embrace, Haero smelled a strong lavender scent.

A floral scent that burst out, strong enough to push away the vivid forest dream.

It wasn’t a scent that could be found in this hotel’s amenities.

“Wait. I’ll make you some honey water.”

Haero persistently followed Yoon Moo-hwa’s back.

He couldn’t remember what had happened yesterday. Regrettably, Haero’s last memory was cut off at the scene where he had returned to the hotel and drank the congratulatory drink for becoming an adult alone in his sorrow.

Judging by his throbbing head, it seems he had ended up getting drunk. Realizing that what he was experiencing now was the hangover he had only heard about, Haero dropped his head deeply.

“Don’t lower your head. It’ll make you dizzier.”

The person who had made Haero feel lonely and foolish yesterday gently pressed up on his lowered forehead. He made Haero tilt his head back, softly leaning against the wall. With his head tilted back just enough not to strain his neck, it felt like someone was beating a drum from the back of his head resting against the wall.

On the island, they always beat drums when someone was making their first voyage. They painted people’s faces with red pigment and wished them luck. Despite the amazingly advanced technology, despite the unstoppable melting of glaciers, people held onto their beliefs and kept their rituals.

The auditory hallucination of the drumming made Haero recall the coming-of-age ceremony unique to the island, which he had forgotten.

“Drink this first for now.”

Haero opened his eyes at Yoon Moo-hwa’s voice.

He looked perfectly normal, as if he hadn’t been angry at all yesterday.

It felt unpleasant. To have so coldly ignored someone and then act as if nothing had happened.

Still, there was one thing reassuring about his usual demeanor.

It seemed his drunk behavior had been quite docile. If his drunken habit was to quietly return to bed without causing Yoon Moo-hwa to get angry, it was a blessing.

Haero downed the hangover cure in one go, then brought the bottle’s mouth to his nose and sniffed.

Sniff, sniff. 

Beyond the characteristic sweet smell of the hangover remedy, he could still smell the lavender scent.

While waiting for room service, Yoon Moo-hwa was busy. He was constantly on the phone with someone, going in and out. 

Was he going out to smoke? This was the first time seeing him like this.

With nothing to do, Haero tidied up his suit and then just stared at the TV.

A makjang drama was playing on the semi-transparent screen.

“—I found lipstick marks on your clothes. You come home with wet hair everyday, and I didn’t say anything! And yet you think I’m crazy? You think I’m making unreasonable accusations?!” The actor facing the furiously angry spouse couldn’t say a word. 

Haero blankly watched that expression, which seemed wronged but unable to say anything in defense.

Wet hair and lipstick marks.

Haero recalled the lavender scent. He didn’t know why that came to mind. It’s not like he had found lipstick marks on Yoon Moo-hwa or seen his hair wet.

Moreover, he wasn’t Yoon Moo-hwa’s spouse.

“Haero.”

The drama, said to be on a popularity high recently, certainly had the power to captivate and make one lose focus. Haero had already curled up, hugging his knees, chewing on his finger calluses, completely absorbed in the show.

“Haero.”

So he didn’t hear Yoon Moo-hwa calling him.

“Haero.”

Only after the third call and Yoon Moo-hwa tapping his shoulder did Haero snap out of it.

Yoon Moo-hwa turned his gaze to the screen Haero was watching and slightly frowned.

It was quite a popular drama even among officers. A long-running drama of 120 episodes, with shocking developments that made people wonder how there could be even more dramatic twists after all this.

“Don’t watch things like this. It’s not good for your mental health.” Yoon Moo-hwa clicked his tongue and turned off the screen. He still had a few habits of treating Haero like Number 8, and this was one of them.

Yoon Moo-hwa still changed the channel when sex scenes came on in videos. Though Haero didn’t know because he wasn’t interested, all devices Haero used had parental controls. Even knowing he should remove them someday, Yoon Moo-hwa pretended not to know when Haero became an adult and it was time to remove them.

Control desire.

Yoon Moo-hwa recalled that inflexible, frustrating name, then quickly erased it.

“Room service is here, let’s eat.”

The small dining room separated from the connecting room was filled with breakfast.

Seeing the spicy soup, Haero felt his mouth water. Only then did he start to feel a burning sensation in his stomach.

Wanting to immediately soothe his stomach, he reached for the spoon, but Yoon Moo-hwa took it first to taste. “It’s okay to eat. It’s a bit spicy, eat it with rice.”

Haero nodded.

Having not experienced various tastes during his childhood when his sense of taste should have been developing, Haero’s tongue was oversensitive. So when they were together, Yoon Moo-hwa would always check Haero’s food first. Haero didn’t find this strange at all, and at some point, Yoon Moo-hwa also came to see it as natural.

Slowly blowing on the soup to cool it and avoid burning his tongue, Haero glanced at Yoon Moo-hwa. He was pouring milk into his coffee with a languid yet somewhat crooked attitude, more so than usual. In short, he looked off.

“Are you angry about something?” Haero asked cautiously, feeling uneasy due to their argument yesterday and his partially missing memories.

Yoon Moo-hwa raised his eyes, then lowered them. He yawned and shook his head. “No. Why?”

“You just look kind of unsettled. Like… things aren’t going well…”

After a moment of silence, Yoon Moo-hwa chuckled and muttered, “I suppose that’s similar…”

Then silence again.

Haero asked while drinking his soup, “Aren’t you eating?”

“Ah. I’m not hungry.”

His attitude suggested as if he had already eaten breakfast somewhere else.

As Haero gulped down some water, Yoon Moo-hwa muttered in a slightly low voice without looking at him, “I’ve told you, it’s not good to drink water while eating, Haero.”

After clearing his mouth, Haero asked, “Where did you go?”

Yoon Moo-hwa briefly lifted his head. “Why?”

Lowering his gaze back to his coffee cup, he looked a bit tired.

“You smell different…” Feeling an inexplicable tension, Haero answered in a small voice.

Yoon Moo-hwa stirred his coffee cup slowly. The movement seemed lazy. “You can tell that too?”

His smirk somehow felt unpleasant. As Haero pressed his lips together, Yoon Moo-hwa stroked his chin. “I just showered this morning.”

“…”

“It happens sometimes, you know.”

It was an ambiguous statement, difficult to refute. After all, Yoon Moo-hwa did occasionally work out and shower elsewhere.

But then it smelled different. Like the scent from our bathroom. Haero wanted to probe further, but felt Yoon Moo-hwa wouldn’t answer. And somehow, the idea of prying like that suddenly felt embarrassing and unfamiliar.

Meanwhile, Yoon Moo-hwa rubbed his neck, bothered by unresolved, unpleasant desire.

Nothing had been resolved. Rather, he felt intensely thirsty, like someone who had just completed a very long voyage.

Overcome by an unpleasant languor, he just stirred his coffee cup until Haero finished his meal.

Shortly after Haero went to shower, someone knocked, coming to collect the dishes. As Yoon Moo-hwa opened the door and was about to watch them clean up, Haero suddenly entered the dining room.

His robe’s belt was loosely tied, leaving his chest clearly visible.

The staff member, who looked a few years older than Haero, stared at him with wide eyes.

Though Yoon Moo-hwa knew this was just a reflexive reaction to someone suddenly appearing, he felt intensely displeased. He strode over, blocked Haero, and forcefully closed his robe with both hands.

“How can you come out dressed like this when someone might visit? It’s impolite.”

“Huh…? But it’s a hotel, who would visit…”

Before Haero could finish, Yoon Moo-hwa turned him around and sent him back into the room.

After firmly closing the door, the staff member hesitantly asked Yoon Moo-hwa, “Um, I’ve finished cleaning. Is there anything else you need?”

Yoon Moo-hwa, who had been covering his nose and mouth with his large, spread hand, lowered it.

“No.” His voice was low and deep, “My brother was rude. I’d appreciate it if you could pretend you didn’t see anything.”

“Ah, yes. Yes, of course. What happens in the room never leaves the room.”

It was a strange way to put it. Though it was probably just a standard response, it sounded as if he had witnessed some secret intimate act in this room.

Yoon Moo-hwa frowned even more deeply.

By then, the staff member had left, and Yoon Moo-hwa let out a deep sigh.

Haero was careless, far too careless. Had he been too indulgent in raising him? Should he have been stricter?

Thinking about how Haero would manage in the naval academy, where communal living was mandatory, made Yoon Moo-hwa feel overwhelmed. It was an emotion beyond mere concern.

As a captain, Yoon Moo-hwa knew most of what happened on a ship. In the belly of that huge machine that constantly hummed, there were plenty of hiding places, and all sorts of things happened in those hidden spaces.

“…”

It was unpleasant.

Yes, it was unpleasant.

Yoon Moo-hwa didn’t even want to imagine such things happening to Haero, who was like a brother to him.

Not realizing that “like a brother” meant he wasn’t actually a brother, he muttered, “He might not be able to adapt.”

He might end up crying and wanting to quit, unable to adjust to the overly strict life at the academy.

He could wait for that moment.

There was plenty of time. Yoon Moo-hwa calmed his unsettled feelings.