GB 72

They barely made it through a night that was like a war, no, it was practically a war.

The unidentified vessel kept the fleet on edge all night before disappearing. This happened just before sunrise when visibility improved.

Naturally, the crew members, on edge from seasickness and frayed nerves all night, let loose a string of colorful curses as soon as the vessel vanished and the combat stations were stood down.

The ship’s interior is filled with vulgar common language mixed with profanities from each crew member’s native tongue. Some even learned and used somewhat clumsy but more flavorful dialect-tinged curses from their roommates.

Haero, in fact, didn’t even have the energy to curse.

“You worked hard.”

A can of coffee was offered over Haero’s exhausted shoulder.

It was when he was on deck, letting his tired body thaw in the lukewarm winter sunlight. Turning around, he saw the face of the person offering it. It was So Eunpa, his hair still flattened from just removing his gear.

“You must have had it rough too, Lieutenant. It was absolutely chaotic last night.”

“Well, for us it’s routine, and it’s what we train for. More importantly, I heard there were many who got seasick or injured from falling last night.”

On ships, it was common for people to stumble from seasickness and fall down stairs, breaking their chins, or crush their fingers in hatches. Even just setting down the gangway often resulted in lost toenails and crushed toes. As long as it wasn’t something as horrific as a hawser snapping next to someone, it could all be considered routine.

“So in the end, it wasn’t a pirate ship?”

“We don’t know. It had a flag, but they didn’t respond, they said.”

They reportedly used sonar to thoroughly scan below the water surface as well. Fortunately, there seemed to be no submarines.

Yoon Moo-hwa probably didn’t get a wink of sleep either.

Haero’s expression darkened.

If this was normal shipboard life, it was astonishing that he had never shown signs of fatigue when returning to port all this time.

Haero gave a cursory greeting to So Eunpa, who seemed to want to talk more, and headed towards the outer deck that led inside the ship.

“I thought I said no shipboard romance.”

At that moment, Yoon Moo-hwa’s voice coming from somewhere grabbed Haero’s ankle firmly.

However, no matter how much he looked around, Yoon Moo-hwa was nowhere to be seen.

“Up here.” A low, husky voice. As if bewitched, Haero looked up and saw Yoon Moo-hwa standing next to the ramp deck.

“I heard there’s no such regulation.” Though the sunlight was dazzling, Haero kept his eyes on Yoon Moo-hwa and retorted brazenly.

“Isn’t my word as captain the regulation? At least on this ship.”

“Should I report this to the human rights center?”

“I’m curious what you’d report, but should I issue a clear order prohibiting shipboard romance, Lieutenant?”

Haero was exasperated. “Why are you doing this to me? Are you stringing me along?”

Being the first time he used the term “stringing along,” Haero pronounced those words particularly clearly. He probably didn’t realize how childish and ridiculous it sounded.

But Haero was actually clicking his tongue at Yoon Moo-hwa’s childishness. He didn’t understand it either.

“If you’re going to string someone along, shouldn’t you at least feed them? You’re keeping me in a pen without even giving me a snack, I’m starving to death.”

It was natural to be angry about being strung along, but the reason was quite unique.

Yoon Moo-hwa’s eyebrow twitched, then settled back down with a weak laugh of disbelief escaping through his teeth.

Yoon Moo-hwa looked around and then beckoned to Haero. Haero, while sticking out his lower lip, climbed up the ladder. Standing next to him at a height equivalent to a 4-story building, the cold wind scraped his face. The winter, which had almost faded on land due to climate change, was quite palpable here.

“Is that what you want, Lieutenant? To be fed, looked in on occasionally, that sort of thing? Setting aside your ill-mannered impertinence in telling your superior what to do, isn’t that too trashy?”

“If you don’t have feelings for me, controlling and prohibiting my love life with unfair orders is already trashy enough…” Haero bit his lip hard. 

Yoon Moo-hwa let out a short laugh. “Right. You should stop there. Any more would have been insubordination.”

Haero, looking up at Yoon Moo-hwa resentfully, spoke with a voice full of indignation, “I heard people like you, Captain, are called jerks.”

Despite the provocative word, Yoon Moo-hwa showed no sign of displeasure. As if he was used to being called not a good man.

“I know. You can’t choose a jerk for your first love, Haero.”

He even admonished in return.

“That’s my choice, isn’t it? Even if he’s a jerk, if I like him, I’ll stick with him for life.”

“Don’t use the word ‘life’ so carelessly.”

Yoon Moo-hwa on the ship was as capricious as the sea. But Haero decided to push forward stubbornly like a small boat advancing through rough waves. Naturally, smaller boats tend to be crazier. Of course. Because they have nothing to lose.

“You’re too young to be talking about ‘life,’ Lieutenant.”

“That’s exactly it. Shouldn’t you be bragging about how lucky you are that someone as young, handsome, and capable as me likes you?”

Yoon Moo-hwa, about to say one more thing, fell silent for a moment, seemingly at a loss for words at Haero’s clear-eyed statement.

“And as you said, isn’t Lieutenant So Eunpa, I mean Sowi, just the right match? He’s about my age, still too young to talk about ‘life,’ and most importantly, he’s not the captain.”

“… Sowi? You’re already calling him by a nickname?” Yoon Moo-hwa, who had been seriously admonishing Haero, paused at an unexpected point. He slightly furrowed his brow, then relaxed it.

“If I’m bothering you, you can just cheer me on. I’ll date Lieutenant So Eunpa casually, then have my second and third loves. And then I can come back, can’t I?” Haero said stubbornly, puffing out his chest. The conclusion was that he would eventually return to Yoon Moo-hwa.

Yoon Moo-hwa let out a hearty laugh.

“Isn’t that how it works?”

“Haero.” Yoon Moo-hwa made a sound like a sigh, recalling the stories he had heard about Haero and his diary. “At least take care of your body.”

Haero was taken aback by Yoon Moo-hwa’s sudden words. Yoon Moo-hwa looked at the speechless Haero with a bitter smile.

‘That expression as if he knows everything. What exactly does he know? How much?’ 

Yoon Moo-hwa pressed his finger firmly against the forehead of the confused Haero. “Otherwise, it makes your brother too upset.”

His forehead tingles. As he reflexively raised his hand to cover his forehead, he saw Yoon Moo-hwa’s retreating figure turning away.

Haero’s face flushed red and pale alternately before he called out in a choked voice, “Do you have the right to say such things?”

Without even turning back or pausing his steps, Yoon Moo-hwa’s indifferent reply flowed out.

“Everyone keeps talking to me about that right, that qualification, but what exactly do I need to do to get it? That damn qualification.”

“Are you asking me that?”

Tears were welling up from frustration. Yoon Moo-hwa, who finally stopped and turned his head, thought, ‘He’s such a child,’ as he saw the wet eyes glaring at him with a reddened face.

‘Even though he’s at an age where he can no longer be called a child, acting so childishly, is it because of me?’

“If qualification is needed, fine. I’ll try to gain that qualification. But Haero, can you be sure?”

Yoon Moo-hwa tilted his head slightly as he looked at Haero. “Can you be sure?”

“…”

“Can you really distinguish and be certain whether the version of me you like is my true self, whether what you like is really me, or if it’s just the image I want to show you…”

“…”

“Can you?”

Children, when they want something to eat or have, cry without sleeping. They yearn. Unlike adults, they know how to focus their limited concentration on one thing and become obsessed.

But after they get it?

What comes after?

When they realize that what they’ve obtained after all their fussing isn’t as fun or special as they thought?

Four years is indeed a long wait. But children usually do more of what they’re told not to do. Isn’t it the privilege of youth to quickly lose interest once they get their way, that very capriciousness?

‘First love.’

Yoon Moo-hwa held those words under his tongue. They were words too heavy even to roll around in his mouth.

He smiled an odd smile. It was such an unfamiliar expression that it was enough to send a chill down Haero’s spine.

* * *

―I’m not sure what the favor is, but he said he’d do anything you ask.

Two years ago, when Alyosha called Yoon Moo-hwa, he abruptly asked if he had heard news about his younger brother.

When Yoon Moo-hwa said he didn’t have a younger brother, Alyosha laughed in disbelief and offered what he called advice.

―I heard he’s been moving from hotel to hotel. It’s fortunate he’s only meeting discreet people, but rumors tend to spread everywhere.

Yoon Moo-hwa picked up the cigarette he had left on the ashtray and put it in his mouth. Sometimes, tobacco is more appealing than e-cigarettes. Like now.

“It’s not a world where sleeping with anyone is a problem. As long as it’s not adultery or infidelity.”

However, Yoon Moo-hwa’s voice was tense as he said this.

―If it’s prostitution, wouldn’t that be different?

“Alyosha, watch your words. Don’t add to something that’s not even certain.”

―I’m just saying you should warn him because such rumors are going around.

“The problem is people who think they can say anything under the guise of ‘it seems like that.'”

―Shouldn’t you at least check! If it’s not true, we beat up the ones spreading rumors, but if it is, you need to stop him!

Yoon Moo-hwa took a long drag on his cigarette. In an instant, one was gone. He hastily took out a new one and put it in his mouth.

“What right do I have to do that?”