GBH 18

“It’s not that you don’t remember, it’s that you haven’t experienced it. You’re acting like someone with no trauma at all. Like a completely different person.”

A different person. Se-kyung’s suspicion stemmed not only from Kim Deuk-pal’s odd behavior for someone his age, but also due to his firm belief in the unchanging nature of human beings—a belief Se-kyung had come to understand through his own experiences. People don’t change. Se-kyung had absolute faith in this.

“I tried to be a good person to not disappoint my father. To live with integrity, to set an example for others. But I couldn’t do it. I thought I was a good person, but I was just pretending.”

Despite growing up under countless rules and compulsions, the cruelty of wanting to twist someone’s wrist for merely touching his things never disappeared. Education could make him understand that sadistic obsession was wrong, but while he could suppress it, he couldn’t eliminate it.

“People don’t change. They might learn. They can act according to what they’ve learned, but their nature doesn’t change. When they’re cornered, their true selves come out.”

That’s why Choi Se-kyung created dangerous and embarrassing situations to corner Song Yi-heon. For the real Song Yi-heon, being alone with Hong Jae-min would have been a dangerous situation, and being introduced as Se-kyung’s boyfriend would have been embarrassing. He deliberately let Song Yi-heon go with Hong Jae-min instead of catching him right away at the auditorium and introduced him as his boyfriend to the girls. However, Kim Deuk-pal reacted opposite to how the real Song Yi-heon would have in both situations.

He beat up Hong Jae-min’s gang with movements impossible to learn in two months and naturally grabbed Se-kyung’s collar. There was no hesitation or weakness at all. It was something the Song Yi-heon who couldn’t even make eye contact with Se-kyung for two years out of shyness would never do.

This convinced Se-kyung that the person claiming to be Song Yi-heon at school was a third party.

Since Song Yi-heon usually covered his face, appearance wouldn’t have been an issue, and there were plenty of people with similar builds. Se-kyung concluded that they had chosen someone with a similar build and a pretty face to imitate Song Yi-heon.

“Where’s the real Song Yi-heon?”

Somewhere in the kind tone was a hint of suppression. His expanded black pupils sank deep like a dark abyss, and as Kim Deuk-pal met his gaze, he felt engulfed by a suffocating sensation as if sinking into the deep sea.

Whoosh. The leaves rustled in the wind.

“……”

When Kim Deuk-pal remained silent, Se-kyung’s eyes wavered. He moistened his drying lips with his tongue and asked with difficulty:

“You didn’t… kill him, did you?”

The last Se-kyung knew of Song Yi-heon was him running barefoot on a rainy day before disappearing. All sorts of absurd thoughts crossed his mind, like common urban legends of being kidnapped in a van and having his organs harvested, or being sold overseas. His grip on Deuk-pal’s shoulders tightened.

What a strength… Kim Deuk-pal gritted his teeth, enduring the vice-like grip on his upper arms. The difference in strength due to their physique was enormous.

Instead of futile resistance, Deuk-pal grasped Se-kyung’s wrists. He pulled his chin in, staring intently while applying enough force to make his hands tremble. Eventually, Se-kyung let out a groan and released his arms. He clutched his reddened wrist with his unaffected hand.

Kim Deuk-pal stood up, brushing off his seat, and denied Se-kyung’s speculation in a locked voice:

“…Stop talking nonsense and stop reading so many novels.”

Being suspected of his identity for the second time, his response was calmer than the first. However, Se-kyung didn’t back down and raised his head.

“Tell me. Where did you put Song Yi-heon?”

“I am Song Yi-heon. If people can’t change, does that mean they have to live their whole lives getting beaten up pathetically?”

“That’s not what I mean. There should be at least some commonalities, but you’re like a completely different person-!”

“Stop bothering innocent people and get a DNA test or something, you paranoid bastard.”

Kim Deuk-pal threw a contemptuous look, then roughly tore at the back of his head and threw the hair. Short strands floated down onto Se-kyung’s knees. What happened next was even more astonishing.

“Huh, isn’t this completely crazy?”

Dumbfounded, Kim Deuk-pal spoke his mind. Choi Se-kyung bent down from his seat to pick up not only the hair on his knees but also those that had fallen to the ground. Watching the black crown of his head bowing between his spread legs, Kim Deuk-pal let out exasperated breaths before walking away, leaving Se-kyung behind.

As he distanced himself from the bench, his once composed steps quickened until he was practically running.

Kim Deuk-pal pressed his palm against the left side of his chest. His startled heart was still pounding. 

Many people felt that Song Yi-heon had changed. However, Choi Se-kyung was the only one looking for the ‘original Song Yi-heon’.

* * *

Thinking the dinner side dishes were lacking, sure enough, the school store was swarming with students. Kim Deuk-pal, who had squeezed out in the opposite direction of the zombie-like students rushing chaotically to the counter, shook off his shoulders that had been pressed in the crowd and looked back at the group that had emerged.

“Auntie! Do you have sausage bread?!”

With little time left before dinner, the students were in a hurry, waving crumpled cash and shouting the names of the food items they wanted. The excitement was no less than the horse racing betting scene Kim Deuk-pal had once been addicted to.

“Phew, look at all these people… It’s chaotic.”

Tired of the teenagers’ determination, Kim Deuk-pal shook his head and left the store, opening the pizza bread and milk he had managed to secure. Not knowing that he could heat it in the microwave, he bit into the stiff bread and chewed.

Perhaps due to the influence of his teenage body, the cheap tomato sauce tasted savory and whetted his appetite. As he alternated between bread and milk with admiration, they were soon gone. Kim Deuk-pal folded the empty bag into a paper toy out of regret.

This too was due to the changed body; he felt hungry again as soon as he turned around. As if a beggar had taken residence in his stomach, even after clearing a heaping tray of rice at dinner, he still craved more bread and milk.

I’ll have to buy more during the night study break. Consoling himself with a promise for the future, he packed his bag and headed to the study hall. The third-year students who had signed up for night self-study gathered in the study hall, a large classroom that could accommodate an entire grade.

In line with the school’s intention to provide a place for the studying atmosphere of third-year students with less than a year left until the college entrance exam, the study hall was quiet with students who came to study from the evening. Especially until yesterday, the second day of the semester, it had been quiet as a mouse, but for some reason, today it was bustling from the entrance of the study hall corridor.

Kim Deuk-pal listened closely as he could hear the voices of the girls he had dinner with. As he entered the study hall, the girls who had arrived earlier greeted Song Yi-heon.

“Yi-heon, you’re here?”

“What’s with him?”

Kim Deuk-pal nodded as he put his bag down at his seat. Se-kyung, surrounded by girls from the same class, didn’t lose his smile despite the cold, indifferent air he projected. It was as if he had completely forgotten what happened during lunch, acting all innocent as though he hadn’t gathered and kept Song Yi-heon’s hair in a handkerchief.

“Se-kyung is doing night study from today too.”

“Se-kyung, you didn’t do night study in first and second year, right?”

“Yeah, I wanted to try studying under supervision since it’s the third year.”

Ignoring Se-kyung’s docile behavior, Kim Deuk-pal closely observed the changed girls. Unlike during dinner, they were all wearing light makeup. It was quite different from yesterday when they comfortably changed into their gym clothes. The only thing that had changed was Choi Se-kyung’s presence, but the girls seemed excited.

“But why are your lips so red if you’re here to study?”

Kim Deuk-pal, feeling they had become close, asked his most comfortable desk mate, Kim Yeon-ji. At this, the other girls hurriedly suppressed their laughter, while Kim Yeon-ji glared and stepped on Song Yi-heon’s foot. Enduring the pain of both slippered feet being crushed, he held back tears and apologized. He wasn’t sure, but judging by the atmosphere, it seemed he had made a slip of the tongue.

“Um… I’m not sure what exactly, but I’m sorry.”

Still blushing, Kim Yeon-ji hurriedly added as she glanced away, “It’s just that I think you look the prettiest without any makeup.”

“Oh… really?”

“Yeah, you’re pretty.”

“Seriously?”

“Your nose is thick and cute, it makes you look kind.”

Though it was meant as a compliment from Kim Deuk-pal, the girls immediately covered their mouths, and Kim Yeon-ji confidently stepped forward, then stepped back to her place. Luckily, Kim Deuk-pal took it as good fortune and sat down. In the past, only women of similar age had been difficult, but now, regardless of age, a woman’s mind had become a labyrinth.

“Sit somewhere else.”

But why was it that he couldn’t understand this sly fox, even though he wasn’t even a girl? Kim Deuk-pal fired off at Choi Se-kyung, who sat next to him instead of in his seat. Wondering why girls had gathered in his place, it turned out that Se-kyung was in the adjacent seat.

“The homeroom teacher told me to sit here.”

Despite Kim Deuk-pal’s uncomfortable looks up and down, Se-kyung opened his bag and took out a workbook. When the supervision teacher came in, Kim Deuk-pal reluctantly unfolded his workbook and failed to chase him away, feeling uneasy.

Eighty minutes of the first session of evening study passed. Although Kim Deuk-pal’s practice sheets were filled with scribbles, he did not solve a single problem. Mathematics was so difficult that he wondered if he had some unresolved grudge with numbers in a past life.

Still, Kim Deuk-pal had an excuse that his brain cells died because he fought a lot. But now, even with Song Yi-heon’s brain, he couldn’t solve the problems, and it was driving him crazy. 

As soon as the bell rang for break time, Choi Se-kyung, who had been stretching beside him, casually mentioned a solution after glancing at the math problem that Song Yi-heon had been struggling with throughout the session.

“It’s solved by using absolute values.”

“Just shut up and move seats.”

However, Se-kyung had no intention of listening to Kim Deuk-pal’s words. He brought his work book and seriously went down to solve math problems. Among many solutions, the easiest way to solve the problem smoothly was drawn from the Sharp tip. Kim Deuk-pal gave a fierce glance.

“Do you think I’m a joke?”

Ignoring the stern warning lightly, Se-kyung spoke in a low voice, explaining the solution. His melodious tone, regardless of whether the other person was listening, detailed the problem, and Kim Deuk-pal couldn’t help but listen.

“Dividing the range of alpha into cases where it’s greater than 0 and cases where it’s less than or equal to 0…”

Se-kyung solved the math problem that had been troubling them for 80 minutes in just 3 minutes. Moreover, he explained it in a way that was easier to grasp than the answer key itself. Feeling a sense of relief akin to a toothache subsiding after solving the problem that had baffled him, Kim Deuk-pal wanted to ask for help with other problems, but he couldn’t muster the words.

However, the observant Se-kyung, noticing his pursed lips and clenched jaw, proceeded to solve the next problem below. As his explanation on the practice sheet grew longer, the distance between them narrowed. Unconsciously drawn in, Kim Deuk-pal leaned towards Se-kyung, their shoulders touching as he listened intently.

Suddenly, when the mechanical pencil ceased moving, Kim Deuk-pal turned his head. Their concentration had brought their lips so close that they almost brushed against each other. Startled, he looked into Se-kyung’s mischievous, crescent-shaped eyes.

Se-kyung’s lips, always curved in a smile, grazed his downy cheek and whispered into his ear. The voice was so sweet, it sent a shiver down his spine.

“What’s your real name?”

Kim Deuk-pal, you sly fox.

“Song Yi-heon.”

He almost got swept away by the moment, but luckily, Kim Deuk-pal gave the name of the body’s owner, not his soul’s true name.