GBH 80

Where had his ambition to feed Se-kyung blood sausage soup and silkworm pupae soup gone? Song Yi-heon, seeming as if a screw had come loose, found himself sitting on the second floor of a franchise burger restaurant when he came to his senses. Being early, the place was quiet with few customers besides them.

“Aren’t you eating?”

Se-kyung, who had brought the dazed Yi-heon to the burger place, put down the burger he was eating and asked. Until then, Yi-heon hadn’t realized why there was a burger set in front of him.

As the usually good eater, Yi-heon just sat there with the food tray as if making an offering, Se-kyung checked his temperature by placing the back of his hand on Yi-heon’s forehead. Cooled by the air conditioning, his forehead was lower than normal body temperature. Se-kyung removed his hand, rubbing the short brown hair with his thumb.

“Are you sick?”

“Choi Se-kyung.”

Yi-heon, who had been staring at the cooling fries, focused his dazed eyes.

“Let me ask one favor.”

As if telling him to speak, Se-kyung crossed his arms on the table and met his eyes. The midsummer sunlight passing through the window seeped transparently into Se-kyung’s pupils. Looking at Se-kyung’s upright posture, he clenched his fist, feeling his fingertips tighten.

“If by any chance, I really start acting like Song Yi-heon…”

He knew it was wrong to ask this of Choi Se-kyung, who was listening seriously because he liked him, but Se-kyung was the only one he could ask. No one but Se-kyung had seen through the truth. Se-kyung was the only one who could understand this request.

“If I try to keep living pretending to be Song Yi-heon, stop me. So the real Song Yi-heon can come back.”

Kim Deuk-pal had a strong sense of self-identity. His stubborn efforts were possible because of his belief in himself. Though there was nothing to be proud of in gang life, he took pride in the life he had built overcoming adversity. The fact that he had momentarily confused his own existence was a shock that shook his very foundations.

For a moment, Kim Deuk-pal took a deep breath, trying to forget the resentment and unfairness rising towards Song Yi-heon who had made him like this.

He was human too. He had attachments to life. He had turned the steering wheel by his own choice, but he was trying to save Song Yi-heon jumping from the pedestrian overpass – he didn’t know his last drive would lead to the afterlife.

It wasn’t that he had no resentment towards Song Yi-heon who caused the accident. However, being born as an illegitimate child, being neglected and bullied, the reasons that drove Song Yi-heon to jump from the overpass – none of these were Song Yi-heon’s fault, so he steeled himself not to blame him.

Hadn’t Kim Deuk-pal’s body already died and turned to ashes? So this was right. Rather than clinging to regrets and resentment for Kim Deuk-pal’s life that had no chance of revival, it was wiser to live adequately as Song Yi-heon, enjoy school life, and then disappear.

The ending was important. However, a variable had appeared in the ending where he should disappear without regrets when Song Yi-heon’s soul returned. He needed to set up a brake to prevent himself from forgetting who he was and taking over Song Yi-heon’s body.

There was no one more qualified for that than Choi Se-kyung, who could distinguish between Kim Deuk-pal and Song Yi-heon.

“Push me like when we first met. Ask where the real Song Yi-heon is. Keep reminding me so I can’t live by stealing Song Yi-heon’s life.”

After making his request, he examined Se-kyung’s expression. He must be hurt. It was a selfish request, knowing that Choi Se-kyung liked the new soul that had entered Song Yi-heon’s body.

As expected, Choi Se-kyung forced a smile with an expression as if he had swallowed bile, and Song Yi-heon realized how terrible a thing he had done.

“Hearing those words with Song Yi-heon’s face really makes it feel like you’re a different person. Actually, I still find it hard to believe.”

Quick to process emotions, Choi Se-kyung soon erased his bitter expression and faced reality.

“When Song Yi-heon returns… Right, you have to go.”

Se-kyung couldn’t prevent Song Yi-heon’s soul from returning either. Even if he could, he wouldn’t. Choi Se-kyung was the last person to witness the original Song Yi-heon, and he carried the guilt of not being able to help Song Yi-heon and instead driving him into the rain.

He couldn’t take the place of the Song Yi-heon who would return, the one who had made clumsy threats having never received help before.

“…”

The sound of cars passing on the road outside could be faintly heard. Trying to ignore the uncomfortable atmosphere, Song Yi-heon ate a French fry, but the dry, paper-like texture was worse than not eating at all. It wasn’t a problem with the fries. The problem was the situation where he couldn’t taste anything out of guilt.

As he wiped the oil from his hands with a tissue, he depreciated himself in an attempt at consolation.

“I’m not that good a person. If you keep hanging out with me, you’ll soon get tired of me.”

If Choi Se-kyung had figured out on his own that the soul had changed, he must have figured out what kind of person Kim Deuk-pal was in life from the few days they had spent together. Even Kim Deuk-pal himself thought that he certainly wasn’t the type to be attractive to a teenager. He might look a bit polished because of Song Yi-heon’s exterior, but in reality, he was an old man who had faced all the hardships life could throw at him head-on.

However, self-deprecation couldn’t be a consolation.

“Don’t disparage my sincerity too.”

It was closer to an insult. The Se-kyung facing him looked even more bitter than when he had made his request.

“That’s how it started. I acted as I wanted in front of you. Back then, I was only thinking about finding Song Yi-heon.”

While everyone else had welcomed the changed Song Yi-heon, only Choi Se-kyung had doubted and probed. When he found a clue to the Song Yi-heon he had been looking for all winter break, there was no room to pretend to be nice. Urgent to find Song Yi-heon, he had pushed forward with his cold nature intact.

Looking back, it was a time when Choi Se-kyung had breathed without suppressing himself.

“When I’m with you, I feel like I can be myself.”

The lush green foliage of the street trees was visible outside the window. Choi Se-kyung, transparent in the summer light, blended into the scenery with the greenery.

“That’s why I like you.”

As if the noise of the busy city had turned into a vacuum, he could hear nothing but the confession before him.

It was a bar with black window film covering the large street-facing windows to block outside views. Simple menu signs for beer and liquor, along with a sensual silhouette of a woman, were cut out of white film and stuck on the black background, but they were so worn that the place gave more of an impression of being obscure rather than decadent.

The female owner of the bar wasn’t particularly waiting for customers, absorbed in manicuring her nails at the counter seat. When a customer entered, pushing aside the door curtain, she greeted them warmly.

“Welco-“

But her excessive welcome quickly faded when she saw the customer was a minor. The boy, who looked too young to even have an ID card, walked into the bar with inexplicable confidence. The man who followed him in looked like he had just become of legal age, but seemed even more uncomfortable, as if unfamiliar with such places.

Not having the energy to chase them out with a fuss, the owner returned her gaze to her nails, which she was buffing to a shine, and said indifferently:

“We don’t serve minors.”

“You have coffee, don’t you? Sell us that.”

He should have understood the implied meaning of leaving while she was being nice, but the boy barged in like someone who frequented the bar. Seeming to know the kitchen situation well, he ordered coffee that wasn’t on the menu and entered the dim interior.

The woman, unable to stop Song Yi-heon due to his excessive confidence, came to her senses when Se-kyung, following him in, gave her an awkward smile. She came out from behind the counter and grabbed Song Yi-heon’s shoulder.

“You little rat, spitting out informal speech. Where did you learn such bad manners?”

However, when Song Yi-heon turned around and stared at her, his gaze was somehow familiar, and the owner’s grip loosened. There was someone who used to look at her just like that. She couldn’t explain why this young boy overlapped with the man who used to deal with the troublemakers whenever they came to the bar – a man who was now dead.

Song Yi-heon brushed off the bar owner’s hand and sat on a sofa covered in cheap, damp velvet. He took out several 50,000 won bills from his wallet and placed them on the table. The red and blue lights, hung to create a decadent atmosphere, stained his youthful face.

“Two cups of coffee, please.”

“…”

The owner, who had been looking for the dead Kim Deuk-pal in the impudently staring Song Yi-heon, soon gave up and snatched the cash. As she brought out the coffee, she set down each cup and snapped:

“Drink and leave immediately.”

Song Yi-heon calmly picked up his coffee cup. Avoiding the part with lipstick stains from improper washing, he took a sip, and the characteristic staleness of instant coffee mix wet his mouth. Looking up, he saw Choi Se-kyung sitting across from him, his lips on the coffee cup. Despite looking like someone who wouldn’t touch such cheap stuff, he surprisingly emptied his cup.

Song Yi-heon had thought bringing him to a place like this would naturally turn him off, but when Se-kyung didn’t budge, he asked in a tone suggesting it was unfortunate for Se-kyung to be associated with him:

“Kids these days go to amusement parks or movie theaters. What are you doing coming to a place like this with me?”

“I like it. It’s fresh.”

Se-kyung answered while examining the plain coffee cup as if observing plain earthenware in a museum. Then his lips curved provocatively as he asked in return:

“Can you go to amusement parks or movie theaters like other kids these days?”

Song Yi-heon drained the rest of his coffee and said:

“Of course I can.”

“Pfft…”

Se-kyung barely managed to swallow the coffee he almost spat out and pressed his lips tightly. His eyes, tearing up from holding back a cough, darted around aimlessly.

“Where did you learn to talk like that?”

“Kim Yeon-ji uses it often. She says ‘of course I can’ when something’s possible.”

Though he hadn’t hung out with her much since summer vacation started, spending most of his time sleeping at school, Kim Yeon-ji was a young guide who even got Song Yi-heon to set up social media accounts.

“You get along well with Yeon-ji…”

Se-kyung, who had been tapping the coffee cup with his index finger, soon tilted his head, resting his chin on his hand.

“Aren’t I prettier than Yeon-ji?”

It was cute how this pretty boy was deliberately acting pretty, but the comparison was off. Song Yi-heon chuckled and threw a tissue at him. The tissue floated through the air and landed on the ashtray in the center of the table.

“Are you jealous of a girl because you have nothing better to do? Get up. We’re leaving.”

This place was where he had originally come to look around for Chilseong gang members. Given that they were the only customers during the time it took to finish a cup of coffee, it seemed his fate tonight was to wander the streets alone, beating up gang members.

As they were getting up to leave, the sound of the door curtain being pushed aside was heard. The clinking of small beads strung together was accompanied by the owner’s nasal voice. This time, her welcome continued, suggesting proper customers had arrived. Song Yi-heon lowered his body over the table.

“Shh.”

Although those men wouldn’t recognize Song Yi-heon, who had taken off the infamous black windbreaker and was wearing an ordinary short-sleeved T-shirt and shorts, it couldn’t hurt to be careful. Before passing their table to leave the bar, he eavesdropped on their conversation.

“…Chilseong gang… that bastard, if we catch him… we’ll break his legs…”

As he had feared, among them was a gang member who had been beaten by Song Yi-heon. It was no coincidence that other gangsters visited this bar, for the same reason Song Yi-heon had come looking for his subordinates – this place was frequented by local gang members.

Song Yi-heon gestured with his chin to leave through the back door to avoid encountering them. Se-kyung, having also heard their conversation, nodded in agreement.