LM 25

[At first, I thought I was going to die from the pain. I really wanted to beat him up.]

[Right? Knotting is really painful the first time you experience it.]

[But as I kept experiencing it, I got used to it. Now I can’t really feel anything without knotting.]

[Wow, aren’t you a Beta?]

[What’s with that reaction? Betas can like knotting too, you know?]

Masked people appeared in the video, talking about their bedroom experiences and then laughing loudly about it. To think that a beta not only had relations with an alpha but also needed knotting to feel anything…

“There really are a lot of crazy people in this world.”

But didn’t that mean he could potentially join the ranks of these crazies? He might not get addicted to knotting, but…at the same time, he couldn’t say with certainty that it would never happen. Suddenly feeling scared, Kwon Siyul slapped his cheeks with his palms to snap himself out of it.

If he slept with Woo Hyunse, would it be like the videos he had watched? He tried to imagine himself on top, but with Woo Hyunse as the subject—even that fantasy was difficult to picture. Imagining being grabbed by the nape and pulled down onto the bed came all too easily.

Kissing, undressing, becoming naked, pressing skin against skin, spreading legs…

“…”

Kwon Siyul, who had been lying face down, let out a groan and slowly raised his body. He was on all fours right then. Though unintentional, this position with knees and elbows on the floor was frequently seen in the videos.

From that position, he simply lowered his head. The loose pants that should have been hanging from his body were strangely lifted.

“Ah, shit…”

Kwon Siyul hunched his shoulders and buried his head in his hands. His lower half, which had been fine while watching the videos, was now heating up and acting up with just a little fuel from the imagination.

Would it have been less scary if he had gone in without knowing? They say you see as much as you know, but after studying, he was even more afraid to follow through with it. While his curiosity was overflowing, his hesitation and self-preservation instincts were enormous as he was about to take his first step into an unknown world.

Woo Hyunse was an alpha. Kwon Siyul was a beta, so while there wouldn’t be talk of knotting with his body, there was always the possibility of unexpected situations. He didn’t want to experience being rushed to the emergency room while clutching his torn abdomen.

There were other concerns too. Kwon Siyul didn’t want to appear clumsy in bed. If he just jumped in recklessly, it might immediately become obvious that he was a complete novice with no experience under his belt. He hated that thought the most. Having already told one lie, he wanted to keep up the deception perfectly until the very end.

Of course, sexual experience wasn’t a measure of popularity. But Kwon Siyul wanted to put on airs. Like a lizard puffing up its neck in front of an enemy, he wanted to proudly stick out his chest and boast about how he had been with many people, regardless of gender. This was a matter of male pride after all.

“How should I do this?”

How could he appear more skilled than he was? No matter how much audiovisual material he watched, it wouldn’t translate into actual experience. Wouldn’t it be better if he tried it with someone else before attempting it with Woo Hyunse? At least if it wasn’t his first time, he could pretend somewhat convincingly…

Practice.

A huge exclamation mark appeared in his mind. Kwon Siyul lifted his head abruptly. That’s right. Experience, he just needed to gain more of it. As long as it wasn’t with an alpha, it should be fine, right? If he was feeling reluctant because Woo Hyunse was an alpha, he could start with betas and work his way up gradually.

It was quite an ingenious idea. Kwon Siyul was impressed with his own thinking as he exclaimed “Wow.” If Kwon Yuwon had heard this, he would have packed a lunch and tried to stop him, saying he had finally gone completely mad, but he wasn’t here, and Kwon Siyul had no intention of revealing this idea to him anyway.

Kwon Siyul clenched his fist, patting himself on the back for having come up with such an excellent plan. He set the date for his endeavor on his day off. It wasn’t like he was a delicate soul attaching special meaning to his first experience. As long as Woo Hyunse didn’t find out he was a virgin, that would be perfect.

* * *

On the long-awaited day off, Kwon Siyul had carefully gone in search of a good spot solely for this day. Excluding strange places, he had secretly scouted out places with relatively good reviews. Among them, he had found one clean and decent establishment, which he planned to visit today.

Kwon Siyul stood in front of the mirror, adjusting his outfit accordingly. The carefully chosen clothes seemed to suit him particularly well today. His hairstyle was perfect too, and with not a single pimple on his face, it seemed highly likely that he would succeed in hooking up with someone as soon as he entered.

Alright, it was time to give himself a pep talk in front of the mirror. His phone, placed on the floor, vibrated. When he picked it up, there was a message waiting for him. The sender was obvious.

They had been texting until bedtime last night. They couldn’t call. How could he make a call with Kwon Yuwon staring at him with piercing eyes? Even if he said he was going out for a moment, Kwon Yuwon would surely grab his clothes like a husband suspecting an affair and bombard him with questions, so Kwon Siyul had typed away until his fingers were burning like they were on fire.

Kwon Siyul had somehow managed to hide his plan from Woo Hyunse. He didn’t mention even the slightest hint of his plan. The chat ended with a message saying good night.

Below that, a new message had arrived. Woo Hyunse was subtly trying to set up an appointment, asking what time they should meet today without even asking if Kwon Siyul was free. Kwon Siyul smirked, as if finding it ridiculous, and sent a reply.

[I have prior plans today]

[I’m a busy person too, you know.]

In reality, that wasn’t true at all. Memories flashed by of days spent rolling around at home, killing time by playing games on his phone and chuckling at useless videos. Strictly speaking, this was ‘pretending’. Pretending to be busy, pretending to have no time, pretending to be popular.

While waiting for a reply, a call came instead. At times like this, a text would be more convenient. He was afraid his impertinent mouth might run off on its own if he heard the other’s voice. Still, he couldn’t reject the incoming call. After hesitating, Kwon Siyul answered.

“Hello.”

― Shouldn’t you be meeting me on your day off? I even cleared my schedule for it.

“I made plans to meet friends today.”

― Ah, friends.

“You didn’t ask me yesterday if I had time. You should have asked first.”

― What time will you be done?

“I’m not sure. We’ll probably drink a bit too.”

― Don’t drink too much. You fall asleep when you’re drunk, Kwon Siyul. What if someone carries you off?

He joked with a serious voice. Kwon Siyul giggled as if he had drunk more than three bottles of soju. His face, with cheeks pushed up into a round shape as he smiled, was clearly being reflected in the mirror. It looked so unfamiliar that he quickly cleared his throat and erased the smile from his face.

― Call me when you’re done.

“…Are you going to come pick me up?”

― Of course.

This person, who used to be scary was now a kind person. He forcibly pulled down his lips, but they tried to rise again uselessly. His reflection in the mirror was grinning again.

“Then I’ll call you.”

But he wouldn’t call Woo Hyeon-se today. Kwon Siyul hid his dark intentions and ended the call with a promise to meet next time. He held onto the phone for a while after hanging up. The heat emanating from the phone felt just like Woo Hyunse’s warmth he had sensed from him before, and he didn’t want to put it down right away.

Kwon Siyul pulled at his clothes and let out a “Hoo,” to psyche himself up. The carefully chosen club was located in a deep alley. Everyone entering and leaving was male. The flyers on the ground had cheesy phrases saying they didn’t discriminate between alphas, betas, and omegas, and that everyone was welcome.

The online reviews praised this place as having the best quality, with everyone having basic manners—their praises seeming to be endless. Since this was his first time, Kwon Siyul chose this place thinking it would be better to find someone decent here.

The inside was no different from other clubs. On the stage, some kind of courtship or frenzied dance was in full swing, and music and beats loud enough to hurt one’s eardrums reverberated throughout the club. It wouldn’t be bad to throw himself into this atmosphere, but today he had a clear purpose in mind.

Kwon Siyul spotted a bar attached to the wall and turned his steps in that direction. It was a place that was somewhat less noisy. He found a corner spot at the long bar and sat down there. According to what he had learned, people would approach you even if you just sat down in one place the entire time.

Firmly believing this, he sat in the chair and ordered a beer. As Woo Hyunse had warned, he didn’t plan to exceed his drinking limit. After all, he needed to be in his right mind to remember and later repeat the same experience.

“Is this your first time here?”

The bartender struck up a conversation while handing over the beer. Kwon Siyul, who had been absently scanning the stage, replied with a casual “Yes.”

“You don’t need to be too nervous. Just relax and enjoy yourself.”

How brazen. Kwon Siyul just nodded his head. He was more anxious about this than when delivering drugs. He moistened his dry throat with beer while his leg shook nervously.

When he had drunk about half the beer, finally, as the reviews had said, a man approached him. He asked, “Are you alone?” but Kwon Siyul was unimpressed. His face was already a disqualification. The talk of good quality was all lies. They seemed to be checking appearances at the entrance, but to let such rotten potatoes in—so much for quality control.

Kwon Siyul didn’t even look in his direction and responded as if shooing him away.

“I’m with someone.”

Totally unaware that his own eyes were set high in the sky, Kwon Siyul repeatedly rejected everyone who approached him.