LM 26

It turned out that not a single person met his standards. If their build was decent, their looks were lacking, and even if their appearance seemed fine, there was always something that didn’t meet his criteria. Either their eyes looked mean-spirited, or their lips were thin like a sycophant’s, or their eyebrows were shaped like seagulls.

His nervousness quickly vanished. Two empty bottles now stood in front of Kwon Siyul. He was getting ready to order his third beer when…

“I’ve noticed you’ve been rejecting everyone.”

This time, there wasn’t even a greeting. Kwon Siyul turned around to see what kind of guy it was this time. Standing behind his shoulder was someone slightly better than all who had approached so far. His appearance was pretty, he was tall, and his proportions weren’t bad. Looking closely, his long, slightly downturned eyes seemed somewhat similar to Woo Hyunse’s.

“May I sit next to you?”

“Sure.”

However, he wasn’t completely satisfied. A sense of doubt was slowly creeping in. He was starting to regret why he decided to sit here now. If he had known it would be this way, why didn’t he just go out when Woo Hyunse asked to meet?

As he tormented himself over this, his eyes continued to look at the unworthy candidates and he kept drinking. Gradually, more questions began to come to the surface. Was this the right path? Was this choice he made really the only way to shed his novice label? It wasn’t too late. He could give up and go back…

“You’re at a club but not dancing. This isn’t really an atmosphere just for drinking. May I ask why you came here?”

The man sitting next to him interrupted Kwon Siyul’s chain of thoughts. Kwon Siyul recalled his original purpose for coming here.

“I came to find someone.”

The man looked around. “Did you find them?” he asked.

“Someone to sleep with.”

Not confident enough to speak loudly, Kwon Siyul cupped his hand and whispered in the other’s ear. The man who somehow understood raised his eyebrows in astonishment. That action too reminded him of Woo Hyunse. This man might end up being okay after all.

“You’re honest.”

That comment especially shook Kwon Siyul to the core. He wanted to be as honest as Woo Hyunse. Kwon Si-yul downed half of his newly received beer in one go. The buzz was just right, and he was still in his right mind. Things were perfect for carrying out his plan.

“Are you an Alpha?”

“No, I’m a Beta. …Is that disappointing? I know some people often feel that way.”

He had come looking for a beta in the first place. Kwon Siyul shook his head and continued asking.

“Do you want to sleep with me?”

“Uh…I’m not usually the type to sleep with someone I’ve just met.”

“Never mind then.”

“I didn’t say no.”

Because he was with someone whose name, age, and background he didn’t know, Kwon Siyul could approach more bravely than if it were someone he already knew. As Kwon Siyul stood up, the man followed suit. They would probably go to a nearby motel. Perhaps due to the alcohol, he now felt indifferent to the entire situation. He just wanted to get this over with quickly and go home to rest.

Maybe after leaving the motel, he might reach out to Woo Hyunse. To say that now, it truly meant it was okay to move forward with this.

“Shall we go then?”

The man took the lead. Before following him, Kwon Siyul took out his phone from his pocket. He wondered if anyone had contacted him in the meantime, but no notifications appeared on the screen.

Kwon Siyul lay blankly on the bed, listening to the sound of water trickling from the bathroom. Upon entering, he had pretended to be familiar and showered first. When Kwon Siyul came out, the man gave an awkward smile and hurriedly entered the bathroom after him. It seemed the other party wasn’t as experienced as he was either.

‘Did I choose wrong?’

He had a feeling he should’ve found someone who could skillfully guide him. Kwon Siyul fiddled with his phone while waiting for the man to come out. Until he had researched the club, gone in, drunk, and dealt with people, he hadn’t thought too much about it, but now that he was here, a question was growing in the corner of his mind: Was this really the right method?

Wasn’t everything like that in the end? The first step was scary, but once you took it, even running became easier. He thought it would be the same with sex. Out of a youthful desire not to lose to Woo Hyunse, and at least not wanting to appear like some kind of novice, he had made this choice. He believed that once he did it, the fear and hesitation would disappear.

But…

The sound of water stopped on the other side of the bathroom door. The man would come out now. Kwon Siyul, after finishing up looking through the texts he had exchanged with Woo Hyunse, put down his phone.

The man approached rather hesitantly. Only the light from the stand lamp illuminated the entire room. He sat on the edge of the bed, looked at Kwon Siyul, and slowly leaned his upper body forward. He gulped noisily, and his visibly stiff face was oozing with signs of nervousness.

Although the atmosphere was tense enough to make even an observer rigid, surprisingly, Kwon Siyul felt nothing at all. To him, it felt like an object or an uninteresting animal was in front of him, rather than a person. He found himself unable to give the man even as much attention as he would give to a stray cat.

He thought a kiss might make things different, but his mind was crowded with random thoughts—had he eaten dinner today, had Kwon Yuwon returned home, what was Woo Hyunse doing right now, and so on—he found it really hard to even focus.

“…”

Their lips were just about to brush. Kwon Siyul suddenly covered the man’s mouth. He didn’t feel like it.

“You don’t like kissing?” the man asked the question, as if asking why being a Beta wasn’t good enough. Kwon Siyul rolled his eyes to the opposite side and reluctantly nodded his head. This time, the man buried his face in Kwon Siyul’s nape. Even this evoked no sensation. It was nothing more or less than just a random stranger touching him.

It wasn’t like this with Woo Hyunse. Just hearing his voice made his ears tingle, and leaning his head on him made goosebumps rise on his nape from the warmth emitting from his body.

The man’s lips touched the side of his neck with a soft sound. His hand tries to slip inside Kwon Siyul’s robe. “Hah…” Kwon Siyul let out a sigh that was not a moan. He even let out a hollow laugh.

This definitely wouldn’t work anymore.

Seeing Kwon Siyul frozen like a statue, it seemed to occur to the man that the mood wasn’t right. He lowered the hand that was about to enter the robe and placed it on the bed. He straightened his upper body and awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

“I guess this isn’t working, right?”

It was embarrassing to back out now after he had made the push to come here. It wasn’t unlike setting the table and then taking away the spoon. Kwon Siyul apologized without hesitation, saying “I’m sorry,” and flopped back onto the bed. Only those who have eaten rice cakes know how to eat them well; he had gotten excited about something he had never experienced before.

“It’s okay. I don’t particularly…enjoy this kind of thing either.”

The man bowed his head deeply, ruffling his wet hair, then looked at Kwon Siyul and, seemingly making up his mind, flopped down next to him on the bed. The mattress rippled slightly under him, but Kwon Siyul just continued staring up at the ceiling with his hands neatly folded on his stomach. A wave of drowsiness was washing over him. Not enough to fall asleep, just enough to feel slightly dazed.

“Do you come to clubs often?”

The man propped his head on his hand and turned his body slightly. He looked down at Kwon Siyul and asked kindly.

“No. This was my first time.”

“And you were planning on sleeping with someone you just met?”

“That too.”

“Then I guess you don’t have any one-night stand experience, like me.”

He smiled shyly. Kwon Siyul studied the man. The more he looked, the more Woo Hyunse came to mind. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled was a bit similar as well.

“I wasn’t originally interested in men. But somehow I ended up here. I was just going to check it out, but then I met you.”

It was similar to his own situation. It was as if the man had pried open his brain and read his mind. Kwon Siyul’s eyes changed as if really seeing the man beside him for the first time.. He sat up abruptly and leaned against the bed’s headboard. Just as he often did when chatting with Kwon Yuwon, he hugged a large pillow and stretched out his legs comfortably.

“Me too. How can we be so alike? It’s amazing.”

Perhaps because they were in the same situation, the barriers between them quickly broke down. Kwon Siyul’s eyes lit up as he listened to the man’s story. He urged the other to speak more with his eyes. Before unpacking his story, the man casually asked him, “What’s your name?”

“Kwon Siyul. And yours?”

Finally, he gave his full attention to the man. The man smiled broadly and answered.

“Woo Taeju.”

He had thought earlier that the man resembled Woo Hyunse, and now even their surnames were coincidentally the same. Since everything seemed to lead back to Woo Hyunse, Kwon Siyul couldn’t bring himself to smile freely.

“I think we could become friends.”

Woo Taeju added innocently at the end of their long conversation. They even exchanged numbers. Although Kwon Siyul had planned to treat the man as if he never existed once they left the motel, plans have a way of twisting and turning on their own, showing new and unexpected results.

Kwon Siyul left the motel, leaving Woo Taeju behind. When Woo Taeju tried to follow, Kwon Siyul stopped him, saying that since they had already paid for the room, it would be better if at least one of them got a good night’s sleep in it.

‘I don’t mind.’

‘Don’t waste money, just stay and sleep.’

At Kwon Siyul’s cold response, Woo Taeju slumped his shoulders dejectedly and sat down on the bed. When he tirelessly asked if he should take Kwon Siyul home, Kwon Siyul shook his head. Such words from Woo Hyunse had worn him thin–he didn’t need to hear it from someone else.

They had spent nearly two hours in the motel. Wouldn’t this be enough to lie about him spending the night out enjoying a drinking session? The offer to take him home echoed in his head not in Woo Taeju’s voice, which he had just heard, but in Woo Hyunse’s.

Kwon Siyul fiddled with his phone. He had already informed Kwon Yuwon that he might come home in the early hours. The other had fallen for his excuse of having drinks at a bar. In reality, though he worried, he wasn’t as overprotective of Kwon Siyul as much as he was when Kwon Siyul was younger.

Should he contact Woo Hyunse?

It was closer to dawn than night. 2:14 a.m. Around this time in the past, he used to sit at outdoor tables of convenience stores, sharing quiet conversations with Woo Hyunse.