LM 39

“How’s the seasoning?”

With his mouth full of pasta, Kwon Siyul couldn’t speak but gave a thumbs up instead. After finishing everything, including the sauce, he rolled up his sleeves, offering to do the dishes. However, he was beaten by the dishwasher. Even though Woo Hyunse said he’d take care of it, Kwon Siyul insisted on guarding the dishes. After a quick pre-wash, all that was left was to put them in the machine—surely he could manage such a simple task.

“I can do it.”

“If you say so.”

He confidently took on the challenge, but unlike the model at the restaurant, this one stumped him for a good while. Unable to watch any longer, Woo Hyunse approached and gently pushed him to the side, saying the best way to help was to sit quietly.

Perched on a high chair, Kwon Siyul kicked his legs out like splashing in a stream, waiting for the task to be done. After finishing up, Woo Hyunse took a drink from the fridge. Recognizing the familiar packaging, Kwon Siyul burst into bright peals of laughter. He found he couldn’t help himself as his loud laughter rang out. .

“When did you prepare this?”

“I didn’t know when you’d come, so…”

Kwon Siyul never expected to see this drink here. A grin lingered on his face. At the convenience store table, in the car, and even at home—Woo Hyunse always had bait to lure Kwon Siyul to him, anytime, anywhere.

“Did you treat others this well too?”

He suddenly wondered. Was Woo Hyunse always this kind? Kwon Siyul hadn’t forgotten their first meeting. Woo Hyunse was very good at threatening and fighting. He had even slapped Kwon Siyul. It wasn’t hard enough to send him flying into the air, but it was enough to intimidate him.

Feeling a phantom ache in his cheek from that slap, he absentmindedly touched it. Kwon Siyul still didn’t know which was Woo Hyunse’s true face, and which he was simply putting on as an act.

“Why?”

“Just curious.”

“Well, I don’t remember.”

“You’re lying.”

“Do you remember in detail how you treated people who’ve come and gone?”

You’d have to have had people come and go to know. Woo Hyunse was his first, but there was no need to reveal that particular detail. In fact, Woo Hyunse didn’t seem to dwell too much on his past despite his words.

“I don’t remember much either. But I want to know if you’ve always been a kind person.”

“I’ve never been called kind. I rarely cooked for others. Usually, others would do it for me.”

He said few people had tasted his cooking like this. A chuckle escaped Kwon Siyul unbidden. He felt pleased, but also a tiny bit jealous. Jealous of those few who had tasted Woo Hyunse’s cooking in the past. Of everyone who had seen Woo Hyunse’s back cooking in the kitchen, who had eaten food he prepared.

“Next time, I’ll cook for you. I can only make instant ramen though. Do you like ramen?”

“If you’re making it, I’ll eat it.”

That meant he didn’t like it. Kwon Siyul slid his head onto his arm as if drunk. His mouth curved into an uncontrollable grin. If he had been a person with a secondary gender, wouldn’t he be exuding pheromones right now?

He’d heard from Kwon Yuwon that alphas and omegas sometimes leak pheromones unintentionally when they were very happy or very upset. When emotions run high, it was hard to control, he’d said.

How was Woo Hyunse feeling now?

“Mr. CEO, about pheromones…How is it now? Yuwon said people with secondary genders sometimes express their feelings through pheromones.”

Kwon Siyul mustered the courage to ask. Woo Hyunse took a sip of coffee and rested his chin on his hand, humming thoughtfully as if seriously considering his question.

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking.”

“I’m not going to tell you.”

“Wow…You really have a bad personality, Mr. CEO.”

“You’re just realizing that now? It took you long enough.”

Kwon Siyul wanted to beg him to tell him. He wanted to smell that scent himself. He wanted to know what emotions Woo Hyunse was feeling without being told. Just as he was about to say something, the laundry’s alarm sounded out from afar. As Woo Hyunse got up, Kwon Siyul immediately closed his half-opened mouth.

Woo Hyunse said he’d go start the dryer now before leaving Kwon Siyul alone at the table. Kwon Siyul fiddled with his cup for a little bit before getting up and turning in the direction Woo Hyunse had gone. At that moment, the house felt too big to be alone in.

Even after arriving in the neighborhood, Kwon Siyul stayed in the car for a long time. Woo Hyunse didn’t send him away, and Kwon Siyul didn’t want to part so quickly. But when Kwon Yuwon called around 2 a.m., he couldn’t delay matters any longer.

They squabbled over who should leave first, finally settling it with a game of rock-paper-scissors. Woo Hyunse’s forehead clearly showed his distaste, wondering if they really had to resort to such childish behavior at their age, but Kwon Siyul didn’t mind. It was far better than putting off going home, spending the night in the car, and getting scolded by Kwon Yuwon.

“The things I do when I’m with you, Kwon Siyul.”

“Hurry up.”

With Kwon Siyul urging him on, Woo Hyunse reluctantly extended his hand. The first round was a tie, but in the second, Woo Hyunse threw scissors while Kwon Siyul chose rock. As Kwon Siyul cheered in victory, Woo Hyunse rested his chin on his fist, elbow propped on the window frame, looking very much the disgruntled Alpha.

“Are you that happy?”

“I’m happy I won. Go on now. I’ll go in after I see you off.”

“I won’t lose next time.”

“Yes, yes.”

Kwon Siyul hopped out of the car. Before he could leave, Woo Hyunse grabbed his collar and kissed him until his lips turned red.

After the car had completely disappeared into the distance, Kwon Siyul turned around. Though they’d met for lunch and parted the next morning, it didn’t feel like they’d spent that much time together. Kwon Siyul couldn’t help but wonder if the clock had secretly run three times faster than usual.

Even though they’d just parted ways, he already wanted to see Woo Hyunse again. Kwon Siyul walked a few steps, then looked back at where Woo Hyunse’s car had been parked. It was empty now, with only the streetlight illuminating the vacant spot.

He’d sent Woo Hyunse away saying they should leave quickly, yet here he was, still standing in this place. His cheeks, warm from the car, were cooling in the night air, but Kwon Siyul couldn’t bring himself to move.

He wished they could have spent the night together.

“…”

Instead of dwelling on his past regrets, Kwon Siyul raised his arm and pulled at his sleeve, taking a long, deep breath. Though any pheromones would have been masked by deodorant, the faint scent of fabric softener that had lingered on Woo Hyunse’s clothes now wafted from his own.

Kwon Siyul pulled both sleeves down to cover his hands completely and immediately buried his face in them.

With his face hidden, his lips spread in a widespread grin. Perhaps because the fabric softener smelled similar to flowers, despite it being early winter, he felt like he was standing in the middle of a blooming flower field on a spring day.

* * *

Kwon Siyul’s hand, which had been wiping the table, gradually slowed and then stopped. He sighed blankly, palms flat on the table. The text message he’d seen this morning kept flashing before his eyes, making it hard for him to concentrate on work.

[I’m going on a short trip.]

It was a message from Kwon Yuwon. Kwon Siyul had called immediately upon seeing it, but there was no answer. He’d searched the closet first. Some of Kwon Yuwon’s clothes and belongings were missing, including his cherished backpack. It was obvious from the get-go that he’d left on his own accord.

[When will you be back?]

Kwon Siyul sent the text and soon received a reply. Though Kwon Yuwon couldn’t take calls, he could apparently still text.

[In a month.]

Such a long trip. Kwon Siyul furiously typed on his phone. They’d never been apart for so long except during military service. They’d applied for joint enlistment, but due to their different secondary genders, they’d been assigned to different units.

[Where are you going for so long?]

[I want to look around before I get any older. And look for a place for us to live.]

[Didn’t you say before that you were okay with living in the countryside before?]

[It’s too expensive there. It seems like we couldn’t afford a house even if we worked our whole lives.]

Kwon Siyul suddenly remembered a conversation they’d had while drinking at a convenience store. Kwon Yuwon had slammed his fist on the table, lamenting how would they be able to ever save up with rent prices rising almost on a daily basis.

When they’d left the orphanage, they’d been determined to settle in this city no matter what, but the reality was that with their income, they could barely afford to rent, let alone buy a place. No one was more familiar with this fact than Kwon Yuwon.

But Kwon Siyul felt hurt that Kwon Yuwon had left without saying a word to him. He complained via text, asking why Kwon Yuwon had gone without telling him. The night before, Kwon Yuwon hadn’t shown any signs of leaving. They’d eaten dinner and gone to bed like all the other nights in the past.

Wondering if he’d missed something, Kwon Siyul tried to recall their conversation as they lay side by side the night before. He’d been so exhausted by the previous day’s events that he’d fallen asleep quickly, and what little conversation they’d had was mostly in a half-asleep state.

‘…Sorry.’

What had Kwon Yuwon been sorry about? Worried that Kwon Yuwon might have accepted that delivery job offer from before, Kwon Siyul asked about it first.

[No.]

[I’m just going to travel and come back.]

When asked where, Kwon Yuwon only said he’d tell later. Kwon Siyul asked if Kwon Yuwon was in debt or being chased by someone, but Kwon Yuwon denied all of it.

[Don’t worry.]

[I’m not lying to you.]

[I just feel stifled. I’ll be back in exactly a month.]

Kwon Yuwon had been looking unwell lately. He’d often grumbled about work being tough. Sometimes he’d had trouble sleeping. There were times when Kwon Siyul woke up to find Kwon Yuwon sitting quietly by the wall, staring out the window in the early hours of the day.

[Make sure to contact me if anything happens.]

Though Kwon Siyul felt uneasy since this was the first time Kwon Yuwon had disappeared without saying a word, he couldn’t argue with him if the other man felt stifled. It also upset him that he hadn’t noticed Kwon Yuwon’s feelings earlier, despite living so closely together throughout all this time.