LM 94

One week. Kwon Siyul pulled back the blanket and got to his feet. He couldn’t shake it off completely, and his body was still heavy, but his throat was parched, so he had to move.

First, he urgently needed to find a way to make a living. He wrote resumes and submitted them to all nearby places hiring part-timers. Unlike before when he only got rejections, this time he received calls from several places, perhaps thanks to the additional line of experience. Getting hired anywhere was the main priority, so he set up interviews indiscriminately.

The options were diverse: convenience stores, barbecue restaurants, cafes, PC rooms, and more. Among these, the barbecue restaurant offered the highest hourly wage. Looking at the hours, it seemed possible to combine it with cafe work. Although he didn’t have debts to repay, working day and night seemed better in his current situation. If he wasn’t doing something, he would constantly think of only one person.

Making coffee for the first time was awkward, and he burned his arm carrying braziers full of charcoal, but it all turned out to be fine. Not only while working, but also after finishing and returning home, he could fall asleep immediately without having to deal with any distracting thoughts. At work, he’d be busy until suddenly it was time to go home.

Letting days pass like this, he hoped that someday he might look back and calmly reminisce, “Ah, that happened too.” He believed in the saying that time heals. It was a hope for the future that wasn’t quite hopeful.

Leaving the cafe early, he arrived at the barbecue restaurant earlier than usual. During the break time, employees were resting at tables or taking quick naps on the narrow mattress in the back. He greeted them quietly so as not to disturb any of them, and an employee sitting in a chair turned to look at him.

“Siyul, you’re early today?”

“The bus driver was stepping on it today. Didn’t even hit a red light. The cafe let me go early too.”

“The cafe, you mean where you work in the mornings? Whew, aren’t you working too hard? Your face is already half gone. It’ll disappear completely if you keep this up.”

The kitchen auntie sighed, looking at Kwon Siyul sympathetically. Not minding her concern, Kwon Siyul smiled amiably.

“Gotta work hard while I’m still young.”

“Take it easy. Health comes first, after all. Come here. Let’s eat some tangerines. I bought them on the way. They’re sweet and delicious.”

“Yes. I’ll change and come right out.”

He went into the changing room, took off his coffee-scented shirt, and changed into his uniform. It was already loose, but it seemed he’d lost more weight recently as the short sleeves were baggy and the neckline gaped.

While eating the tangerines the auntie shared and watching TV, he heard a call for help and went out the back door. There were several boxes of groceries stacked up. As he was dividing them up with another employee, he heard a surprised “Oh” and turned around instinctively.

“Oh.”

The same sound came out of Kwon Siyul’s mouth. The person standing awkwardly at the end of the alley looked familiar. He turned his head away, bit his lower lip once, and then met the gaze again. He smiled weakly, just as he had with the auntie. The world was indeed small.

“Hello.”

“…Hyung.”

Woo Taeju was staring blankly his way. He too seemed surprised by the unexpected encounter, his eyes opened wide. Kwon Siyul thought about just going inside and pretending not to notice but then figured he might as well greet him properly since they probably wouldn’t see each other again after Woo Taeju left for his studies abroad. Kwon Siyul told Woo Taeju to wait a moment and carried the boxes inside.

Woo Taeju, as if trying to hide his bewilderment, rubbed his mouth and chin with his hand and entered the alley. Kwon Siyul also put on his coat and came out of the store. There wasn’t much to talk about, but they were close enough to at least ask how the other was doing. Although Kwon Siyul didn’t want to be entangled with anything that reminded him of Woo Hyunse, it felt more awkward to outwardly avoid it.

“Have you been well?”

Kwon Siyul asked first. Woo Taeju nodded his head somewhat glumly. The expression he wore on his face was so ambiguous that it was hard to tell what he was thinking.

“Hyung, you’ve been working here?”

“Yes. I just got this job recently. Here and a cafe.”

“Two jobs? Isn’t that hard?”

“It’s okay. It’s manageable once you get used to it.”

“No, what about Woo Hyunse…Hyung, Woo Hyunse is rich. He’s got enough money to live on even if three generations went bankrupt. I didn’t think he was that kind of person. Is he not helping you at all?”

Woo Taeju frowned in disbelief. The moment the name hit his ears, Kwon Siyul’s eyes clouded over. Two weeks wasn’t enough to completely shake it off.

Would it take a year? Or much longer? Just like when he saw Woo Hyunse in his dreams and woke up, even hearing the name made his insides ache.

Kwon Siyul, about to rub his chest out of habit, raised his hand to scratch his cheek instead. As if embarrassed. As if it was nothing.

“I left that place.”

“…What?”

Woo Taeju repeated in a dumbfounded tone. Kwon Siyul raised the corners of his mouth. However, the forced smile tasted bitter.

“I left that house. I’m not in contact with the CEO anymore.”

Woo Taeju remained silent for a moment. Kwon Siyul tapped the ground with the toe of his sneaker.

“…I had no idea. After I nearly died, I cut off contact with that side too.”

The voice that finally came out was hoarse. The lowered voice sounded similar to Woo Hyunse’s. Kwon Siyul deliberately avoided looking at Woo Taeju’s face. He would inevitably find similarities there too.

Even this brief exchange with Woo Taeju was difficult for him to endure. Kwon Siyul peeled his back off the wall he had been leaning against.

“I should go back inside. I need to start working soon.”

“Ah, hyung. That…”

Woo Taeju reached out as if to grab Kwon Siyul’s sleeve. When Kwon Siyul turned back, Woo Taeju hesitated, then let out a long sigh and shook his head.

“I just wanted to say, please make sure to come to my birthday party later. …I’ll just have a quick smoke and go.”

About to go inside, Kwon Siyul paused. He noticed the cigarette pack sticking out of Woo Taeju’s pocket. Normally he wouldn’t have given it a second glance, but strangely, he felt an urge to try smoking right then and there.

“Can I have one too?”

Woo Taeju’s eyes widened again. Then he frowned. A look of disapproval crossed his face, like when a student in uniform decides to ask for a cigarette out of the blue.

“Ah, I was being too shameless, wasn’t I? Cigarettes are expensive these days…”

Kwon Siyul rubbed the back of his head as if embarrassed, citing an irrelevant reason. Woo Taeju hastily waved his hands around.

“No, no, it’s not about the cost. It’s just that it’s best not to start smoking in the first place.”

Instead of giving Kwon Siyul a cigarette, Woo Taeju put one in his own mouth. Thinking it was a polite refusal, Kwon Siyul’s shoulders slumped. But after lighting it and taking a puff, Woo Taeju handed it to Kwon Siyul. Kwon Siyul hesitated for a moment before taking the cigarette between his lips.

Though Woo Hyunse never smoked around him, there were times when a faint scent of tobacco clung to his body. While the typical throat-irritating smell of cigarettes from others was unbearable, the scent on Woo Hyunse was actually quite pleasant. It was like his natural scent. An adult-like fragrance. Mature and rich at the same time.

Having seen others do it, Kwon Siyul inhaled deeply, only to choke and cough roughly. The mistakenly inhaled acrid smoke even brought tears to his eyes. Woo Taeju, not knowing what to do, took the cigarette from Kwon Siyul’s hand.

“Don’t force yourself to smoke.”

“It’s just because it’s my first time, *cough*. I’ll get used to it if I keep smoking.”

“There’s no need to deliberately get used to it. It’s bad for your health.”

“But you smoke.”

“Well, I’m already a lost cause.”

‘I’m beyond help.’

A familiar voice overlapped with Woo Taeju’s. Kwon Siyul quickly averted his gaze, pressing his stinging eyes firmly with his hand.

Woo Taeju grinned and put the filter Kwon Siyul had moistened to his lips. He didn’t seem to mind that it might be dirty. Kwon Siyul coughed out the remaining tickle in his throat. It was too embarrassing to ask for it back after so obviously showing his inexperience.

“If not today, call me next time you want to smoke. I’ll teach you properly then. Don’t smoke alone.”

The long cigarette had burned down nearly to the tip. Woo Taeju kept the now much shorter cigarette in his mouth for a while. When Kwon Siyul stared at him, he reluctantly threw the butt into an empty can used as an ashtray.

“Didn’t you just say it’s better not to smoke?”

“I was using that as an excuse to keep in touch with you, hyung.”

He added with a wink and a sly grin. Kwon Siyul laughed softly at the playful tone.

Someone called for Kwon Siyul from inside, probably because break time was almost over. Kwon Siyul nodded and said goodbye to Woo Taeju. As he was about to open the door and go in, he turned back at the sound of “Hyung.” Woo Taeju hesitated for a moment before speaking. The playfulness gone from his eyes, they now held a glimmer of relief.

“I’m glad you look well.”

“…”

“See you next time, hyung. Definitely at my birthday party. I’d be even happier if you contact me before then.”

Woo Taeju left the alley, making sure to emphasize his words. Kwon Siyul stared blankly at his retreating figure. The broad shoulders, short hair, and even the steady gait resembled someone else’s. Though he couldn’t face Woo Taeju directly, he stole a glance at his back like this. Just because he resembled Woo Hyunse.

“He says I look well…Me.”

He muttered, standing there rather absentmindedly. The auntie he works with says his face is half gone, and Woo Taeju, whom he met today, says he looks well. He had no idea which statement was true.

He raised both hands to cover his face. After staying in that position for a while, he lowered his hands, wiping down his face. He decided to take it as proof that he was doing fine.

That for someone who had left, he was living quite decently. Whole and unscathed.