TE 12

“My sister, my spouse, I have come into my garden:

I have gathered my myrrh with my spice,

I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey,

I have drunk my wine with my milk.

Eat, friends, drink,

and be drunk with love.

I slept, but my heart was awake.

Listen! my beloved is knocking.

‘Open to me, my sister, my love,

my dove, my perfect one;

for my head is wet with dew,

my locks with the drops of the night.’

I had put off my garment;

how could I put it on again?

I had bathed my feet;

how could I soil them?

My beloved thrust his hand into the opening,

and my inmost being yearned for him.

I arose to open to my beloved,

and my hands dripped with myrrh,

my fingers with liquid myrrh,

upon the handles of the bolt.”

– Song of Solomon 5:1-5

Her hand moved slowly across the cold glass railing.

In her 24 years of life, she had never experienced such intense sensations. Seo-ha felt as drained as if she had just finished a vigorous workout.

First, she needed to shower. Now that she was away from Ki Tae-beom, she became acutely aware of the uncomfortable stickiness below.

After showering, she would lie in bed. Tomorrow would be another busy day of work. And after that…

But would she really be able to fall asleep early? Not with her mind so completely filled with thoughts of that man.

The boundary line drawn on the ground had been crossed – she had stepped one foot into a world beyond the forbidden door. The world that had been full of taboos and rules was now completely filled with the man named Ki Tae-beom.

Like how spring’s traces melt away when winter comes.

Seo-ha climbed the stairs feeling as though she had been freed from the thorns that had bound her. She already anticipated that regardless of her exhaustion, she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep until late tonight.

“…Moon Seo-chan?”

However, as she nearly reached the top of the stairs to the second floor, Seo-ha discovered a human silhouette in the dark house that was even darker than the shadows. It was someone with a small frame that barely reached her chest. There was only one person in this house that small.

“S-sis…”

When Seo-ha touched the wall light to turn on the illumination, Seo-chan’s form was clearly revealed, moving stealthily like a stray cat.

Seo-chan was frozen in place, looking exactly like someone caught in the act of theft. The moment the lights came on, Seo-ha didn’t need to examine her brother closely to understand the situation.

The center of his pajama pants was stained a particularly dark color, and in his hands, he clutched his bed comforter. While Seo-ha’s room had a private bathroom attached, Seo-chan’s room only had a small private toilet. There was no way to wash bedding in such a space – he had clearly been heading to the large bathroom in the hallway.

“You…”

Seo-ha was momentarily at a loss for words, struck by the absurdity of the situation.

A fourth-grade elementary school student should be well past the age of having accidents in bed.

“Did you wet the bed?”

Seo-ha felt ridiculous even as the words left her mouth.

“I-it’s…”

Seo-chan’s face flushed red as if he might burst into tears at any moment, and he choked out his explanation with little hiccuping sounds.

“I-I had a scary dream… and when I woke up…”

“Ah…”

Wet the bed because of a nightmare…

It was both absurd and somehow endearing.

Truth be told, Seo-chan wasn’t a particularly demanding child. His grades were above average, and he was always quiet as a mouse around the house. Though that was probably because the environment didn’t allow for being spoiled.

It had been quite a while since she’d seen Seo-chan make such a childlike mistake. While it was surprising, she didn’t feel angry or disgusted.

Obviously, helping Seo-chan clean up should take priority.

Pushing aside her urgent desire to shower and change, Seo-ha approached Seo-chan.

“You’re really making these kinds of mistakes at your age…”

Though her words were scolding, her reaching hand was rather gentle. At least, that’s what Seo-ha thought as she moved to pat his head.

“I-I’m sorry!”

Seo-chan defensively covered his head with his hands, unintentionally striking away Seo-ha’s approaching hand.

It wasn’t an intentional hit. It was more like an accidental collision. No matter how much Seo-chan had grown, the hands of a child who hadn’t even graduated elementary school were still tiny.

Yet it hurt. Quite a lot.

No.

Was it really her hand that hurt?

“Have I ever hit you?”

It felt as if someone was repeatedly stabbing her chest with a needle.

They had once been relatively close siblings. Though they weren’t blood-related and the household atmosphere wasn’t particularly warm, they weren’t the most affectionate siblings, but they did consider each other their closest family members.

Seeing Seo-chan treat her like a stranger now made her wonder if even those memories had been just her imagination.

“Seo-chan.”

“I-I’m s-sorry…”

“Moon Seo-chan!”

How long had it been since she’d raised her voice like this? And to Seo-chan of all people. She had yelled at the very person she never wanted to be angry with.

Predictably, Seo-ha’s shout had the opposite effect.

Nothing could be resolved by shouting at someone. Seo-chan began hiccuping and silently crying, tears streaming down his face. She could see him gritting his teeth to hold back his sobs, afraid that making noise would provoke more anger.

“Seo-chan, I…”

I’m your sister.

We’re siblings.

Among all our nominal family members, I care about you the most, so why do you hate me?

It was a petty emotion, too childish for an adult to harbor toward an elementary school student. Normally, she would have accepted Seo-chan’s rejection of her help and called the housekeeping lady instead.

Both the hurt and loneliness were emotions Seo-ha was supposed to suppress. Being patient and understanding was the wisest approach.

Though pathetically, today she had failed to choose that wise path.

Trembling and unable to meet Seo-ha’s eyes, Seo-chan finally lifted his head. But the young boy’s gaze wasn’t directed at his sister standing right in front of him.

“Oh my, what’s going on here?”

Following busy footsteps from downstairs, Park Hee-jung appeared, wearing a nightgown.

The sight of a young child standing there in wet pants while clutching damp bedding was enough to understand the situation without any need for explanation. Though she might be cold toward Seo-ha, who wasn’t much younger than herself, Park Hee-jung was quite fond of the much younger Seo-chan. She approached him now, putting on her best impression of an ideal parent.

“Oh dear, did our Seo-chan have an accident?”

“Hic… huu… huuuu…”

Kindness acted like an amplifier for the sorrow he had been trying so hard to contain. Muffled crying sounds began to escape through Seo-chan’s tightly closed lips.

“Seo-chan, shh. We don’t want to wake Father.”

They say hearing becomes more sensitive with age, but these siblings’ father was actually a deeper sleeper. However, if Seo-chan were to break into loud crying, he would eventually wake up.

Because the house was large and in a remote location, even small sounds tended to echo clearly at night. Park Hee-jung seemed to have come out carefully after hearing the noise upstairs, worried about waking the father.

Afraid of their father, Seo-chan pressed his lips tightly together, his body trembling with suppressed sobs.

“Take the bedding to the bathtub. You can wash up by yourself, right?”

When Seo-chan nodded, Park Hee-jung stroked his head. Unlike when Seo-ha had tried to pat his head earlier, Seo-chan accepted this touch without any fear or resistance. If anything, her touch seemed to ease some of his distress.

Head bowed, Seo-chan peeked up at Seo-ha through his eyelashes before dragging the bedding toward the bathroom. Instead of stopping him as he passed by, Seo-ha dug her neatly trimmed fingernails into her palm.

“Seo-ha, really…”

Park Hee-jung furrowed her brow and lifted the corners of her mouth in an ambiguous smile that seemed to say ‘what am I going to do with you?’

“Your brother can make mistakes sometimes; how could you get angry?”

Though they never openly disparaged each other or engaged in power struggles, the period when they maintained an awkward but peaceful relationship had ended long ago. Ever since Park Hee-jung had driven a wedge between Seo-ha and her father, their formerly uncomfortable but peaceful relationship had cracked.

Although Seo-ha had to endure unfair discipline because of this woman, she had never held a grudge against Park Hee-jung. She hadn’t even attempted the smallest revenge.

Of course, negative feelings were unavoidable, but…

Still, Seo-ha wanted to maintain at least a superficially good relationship with Park Hee-jung.

She had to.

She had to…

But why did she have to?

Park Hee-jung did manage to be a decent mother figure to Seo-chan. Until now, that was the single reason Seo-ha had endured. She feared what aftermath might occur if she tried to retaliate in kind. She herself hadn’t died because she was the father’s child, but this woman might actually die. Thinking of it as saving one life, she had endured and endured and endured, and endured some more.

For Seo-chan’s sake.

And to avoid making things difficult for herself in this household.

The wisest course of action would be to endure and let this pass too.

Just ignore this woman who kept getting on her nerves, quietly, like usual.

“Seo-ha?”

But Seo-ha’s feet turned toward the stairs instead of her bedroom.

“Are you going out at this hour?”

Park Hee-jung quickly approached and grabbed Seo-ha’s wrist as she descended the stairs. Whether intentional or not, her grip was surprisingly forceful.

Seo-ha’s body whirled around abruptly, her shoulder aching from the motion, and she found herself facing Park Hee-jung at an uncomfortably close distance.

“Where are you going?”

“It feels so stuffy here, so I’m going out for some fresh air.”

“Out where?”

Park Hee-jung questioned persistently with an artificial smile, like a woman suffering from paranoia.

Ah, more precisely, she had the attitude of a wife confronting her husband’s mistress. Which was ironic, considering who the real cheater was.

“There’s no convenience store nearby, and it’s too dangerous. Why don’t you go to your room and sleep?”

Don’t provoke her. Just let it slide smoothly. That’s the easier way.

“It’s fine. I’m meeting someone.”

If only people could always act rationally.

“…Who?”

“Mr. Ki Tae-beom.”

“…”

“He probably hasn’t left work yet.”

But Seo-ha had no intention of taking back the water she had impulsively spilled. No regrets. At least not in this moment.

The artificial smile that had been so irritating to look at froze briefly, then Park Hee-jung let out an awkward laugh as she tried to maintain her composure.

“Seo-ha, have you forgotten what happened last time? You know how sensitive that daughter-obsessed man is about your relationships with men.”

“…”

“Do you want to go back to the discipline room?”

While outwardly pretending to care for Seo-ha, her true intentions were different.

“If I have to go to the discipline room, then I’ll go. But you know what?”

Seo-ha no longer felt like playing dumb and being swayed by this woman’s obvious jealousy. At least not tonight.

“Father disciplines children he dislikes with punishment, but wives he dislikes – he settles things by killing them.”

Park Hee-jung’s eyes widened – she had never seen Seo-ha show such sharp edges before. Seeing that expression, Seo-ha realized a new emotion she hadn’t known she had.

Ah, I’ve actually hated this woman all along.

“We may not share blood, but we’ve managed to get along like mother and daughter until now.”

She wanted to put this woman in her place – this woman who picked unfair fights while hiding behind her father.

“So, share your man with me too, Auntie.”

Share your man.

The statement implied both that she knew everything about what Park Hee-jung had been doing while simultaneously confirming the woman’s suspicions.

“You, you…”

The mask cracked on the woman who always wore a coy smile except for the rare times she had to mind her husband’s mood.

The fear that her stepdaughter knew about her affair and the terror that her frightening elderly husband might kill her.

Or perhaps the anxiety and jealousy at the possibility of losing her secret lover to another woman.

Though unclear which emotion was dominant, what was certain was that for the first time, Seo-ha saw this woman’s raw expression.

Until now, she hadn’t thought she disliked Park Hee-jung that much…

But that contorted expression was quite satisfying to see.