TIN 22

The swimming pool, located at the opposite end of the garden from the main entrance, turned out to be just as impressive in size as the mansion itself. The floor was paved with marble, and the entire remaining space filled with water. There was also a round jacuzzi for relaxing in the water, separate from the main pool. In addition to the sunbeds, there were large tables and sofas, making it suitable for hosting summer parties.

The expansive scene looked so grand that I even found it intimidating as a child. It wasn’t like  Joo Do-hwa needed such a massive swimming pool all to himself. And being outdoors, it was practically unusable for about ten months of the year.

When I first came to this mansion, this was the case as well. It was just after the transition from fall to winter, not the typical swimming season for young children. I had accompanied the child on an inspection, but due to Logan’s watchful gaze, I couldn’t even dip my feet in the water.

But now…I ended up coming to the pool area again like this.

“…”

I absentmindedly fiddled with the swimming trunks I had on. Fortunately, the swimsuit Joo Do-hwa had bought me looked like a plain pair of shorts. The length wasn’t too short, it didn’t cling uncomfortably, and there were no flashy patterns printed on it. With a T-shirt on top, it even resembled everyday wear, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of “what am I doing here?”

Still, if he kept on insisting, I would just have to do it.

When I went down to the pool,  Joo Do-hwa was reclining on one of the sunbeds. His outfit of a thin shirt and casual pants made him look nothing like someone who was about to swim. He was even holding a tablet PC.

“You’re here?”

Tapping on the screen,  Joo Do-hwa spoke without even looking my way. Whatever he was doing, the screen was filled with an unfamiliar script—not Korean, but likely a report or some type of documentation in a foreign language.

“Aren’t you going to put on a swimsuit?”

“Ah.”

As I approached and asked, Joo Do-hwa let out a brief exclamation. His eyes were still scanning the text on the screen.

“I don’t like going into the water.”

“…”

But why did you insist then?

I almost let out an exasperated chuckle. Just like during our breakfast, I had no idea what was going on in that mind of his.

Seemingly sensing my thoughts, he set down the tablet and glanced at me sideways.

“But you said you liked the outfit.”

His eyes were languidly relaxed, but the smile on his lips had a playful edge to it. At least the upturned corners didn’t look like a mocking grin.

“You should go. It’s a nice day. It’d be a waste if you didn’t.”

Though it was still spring, the clear sky meant the weather was warm enough to go in the water. It might get a bit chilly once the sun went down, but for now, it wasn’t too cold. The distinction between spring and fall had been blurred for a long time now.

“But you told me to do it alone…”

I turned my head to gaze at the swimming pool. The water was so pristine that the vast sky was perfectly reflected on the water’s surface. Just a little while ago, I had no intention of swimming, but seeing this, I couldn’t help but feel drawn to it.

“…How deep is it here?”

I asked, and  Joo Do-hwa simply looked at me intently. I couldn’t help but wonder, as our eyes met, why his crimson lips moved that slowly.

“It’s not deep enough to drown in.”

“…”

I furrowed my brow. The shadowed eyes beneath the parasol seemed to see right through me. If I wasn’t careful, he might uncover all my secrets.

 Joo Do-hwa quickly returned to an untroubled expression, giving me a small smile.

“Since you came all the way here for me…This much should be fine for you, right?”

He gestured with the edge of his hand, first to the center of his chest, then toward his shoulder area. The sharp gaze he had earlier was now relaxed, back to his usual default expression. It was certainly deeper than expected, but definitely not deep enough to drown in.

“Can I really swim here?”

“Of course.”

Receiving his welcoming response, I headed toward the steps built into the corner of the pool. Even if it wasn’t seawater, I at least wanted to dip my feet in and see. Floating on the surface didn’t seem too bad either.

“Just go in as you are?”

But when I had taken about three steps,  Joo Do-hwa discreetly called me back. Wondering why, I saw him still smiling.

“You should take off the top first.”

“Ah…”

I had planned to just go in as I was.

The bottoms were swimwear, but the top was just a plain white t-shirt. It wasn’t like it was a delicate piece of clothing that couldn’t get wet, and I wasn’t intending to swim vigorously anyways. Since I’d be going in alone, I didn’t expect to stay in the water for very long either.

Since there was no real reason not to, I crossed my arms and pulled my t-shirt off. The roomy shirt would certainly be a heavy material once soaked in the water. It would probably be better to take it off now rather than have it clinging uncomfortably to my skin.

The cool air brushed against my exposed torso. I instinctively shuddered, then swept my hair back with one hand. As I removed the rest of the garment,  Joo Do-hwa stared at me unblinkingly, his gaze roaming over my body.

“…”

His golden eyes meticulously scanned me from head to toe. From my neck to shoulders, shoulders to chest, chest to abdomen, and back up to the collarbone area. At the end of this unabashedly direct scrutiny, his voice came out softer than usual.

“You have no scars.”

“…”

A chill ran up and down my spine. Somehow, his monotonous tone sounded ominously meaningful.

“Normally, it’s the opposite, right? But they just hit your face.”

He was right. Typically, if they wanted to hit someone, they would avoid the visible areas. But I must have really enraged them to the point of not holding back, so they just ended up slapping my face.

“I don’t usually get hit. That day was the first time I was hit.”

“I see.”

Joo Do-hwa responded lightly to my casual excuse. He didn’t seem to believe it much, just habitually replying. Understandable, since his eyes remained fixed on my exposed upper body even as he spoke, and as a result, his following words didn’t sound particularly serious.

“Why is your skin so pale? Did you get some kind of injection?”

“I didn’t get any injections.”

As if I could afford that. I was just naturally pale, and being indoors all the time had only made me paler. Besides, when it came to whiteness, Joo Do-hwa wasn’t exactly in a position to talk.

“I see…”

Joo Do-hwa responded halfheartedly again, slowly scanning me up and down. His gaze was certainly burdensome, but I didn’t feel particularly embarrassed. When I was young, we even bathed together, so showing my upper body to him was no big deal.

“Alright, let’s go swim now.”

Furthermore, and most importantly, his eyes held no discernible desire. He was simply observing, like how one would look at an animal, a plant…no, even an inanimate object wouldn’t be this devoid of emotion.

As for me, I didn’t really mind either way. In fact, it was easier to deal with him viewing me like an object rather than having unnecessary sentimentality like Theo or the filthy desires of the customers.

“I’ll leave the clothes here.”

“Do as you please.”

I placed the t-shirt I had just removed on a nearby sunbed and approached the pool steps again. The bottom was visible through the transparent water, but the typical distortion of the surface made it difficult to gauge the depths down below. So I carefully descended the steps, holding the railing, as Joo Do-hwa asked in a voice tinged with amusement.

“You really do know how to swim, right?”

Apparently, he thought my cautious movements meant that I was afraid. I could have made an excuse about the water being colder than expected, but instead, I simply went in without a word.

“Ah…”

The water came up to just my shoulders. It felt a little chilly at first, but after cutting through it with my outstretched arms, it wasn’t bad at all. After a few movements, I gained a bit of confidence and took a deep breath, submerging my head.

As expected, my body remembered how to swim. At first, I struggled with my breathing, but it didn’t take long before I could move my limbs gracefully. I pushed off the wall, gliding forward, then flipped over to float on my back and look up at the sky.

“Ahh…”

Being in the water, all stray thoughts disappeared without a trace. The swaying sensation of my limp body following the waves was the most soothing feeling. The moment my ears were muffled by the water, a sense of liberation I had long forgotten surged through my entire being.

‘Don’t make a sound.’

The memory that surfaced, filling the void, buzzed in my head as soon as I closed my eyes. The sense of familiarity in this space vividly recalled the scenes I had tried to ignore in the past.

‘Don’t get caught, no matter what…’

“…”

‘Survive.’

I’m still alive, but when will we be able to meet again?

Glub. The air bubbles I exhaled rose to the surface. As the air in my lungs fully escaped, my heavy body gradually sank down. I couldn’t breathe, but paradoxically, I found a sense of peace in that stillness.

It felt like lying in a crib. My limp body had never felt more comfortable. Even in this tumultuous life, the stagnant water was tranquil. My tense shoulders loosened.

Ah, if I could just drown like this, it would be wonderful.

In that moment—

“…!”

Splash, water sprayed in all directions. Someone had roughly grabbed my arm and yanked me back up to the surface. Panting, I hadn’t even taken a proper breath before being overwhelmed by the cloying pheromones.

“…”

“…”

The first thing I saw was the aimlessly swaying golden eyes. The long eyelashes were trembling, and the droplets at their tips fell onto my face. Beneath the damp hair, the pallid face was contorted in an anguished expression.

“…Hah.”

The sigh that escaped my lips held a tinge of irritation. As if my pride had been hurt during the process.