TIN 95

“…”

It felt like my breath had stopped. My heart sank and my blood seemed to run dry. I reflexively tried to turn my head, but couldn’t because Joo Do-hwa held my face in place.

“Look at me properly.”

His eyes, shining like a beast’s, seemed to pierce right through me. Though it was clearly dark, I felt a sense of crisis that everything would be discovered. Though my fingertips gradually grew cold from tension, I forced myself to speak casually.

“…What’s wrong with my eyes?”

There was no way I could show agitation. Until yesterday when I checked, there hadn’t been any changes except for becoming slightly cloudy. This meant that the blue couldn’t be visible in this type of situation unless light was shining on them.

“They’re probably just puffy from sleeping too much.”

Though I tried to brush it off lightly, it didn’t work on Joo Do-hwa. He stared intently at my eyes without even listening to what I was saying. Then, with a twisted smile on his face, he muttered softly.

“I was wondering why you suddenly got sick…”

With those words, Joo Do-hwa abruptly sat up in bed. When he removed the blanket and tried to leave, I reflexively grabbed his arm.

“Why, what…where are you going?”

Anxiety began creeping up. The atmosphere emanating from him was ominous, like a time bomb about to explode. He turned to look at me obliquely and spoke in a suppressed voice.

“I’m going to call a doctor, so stay put.”

“Why call a doctor?”

I gripped his arm tighter. My heart was beating so roughly that I could feel my pulse in my fingertips.

Glancing down at his arm, Joo Do-hwa turned toward me with a small sigh.

“Your eyes are cloudy, hyung.”

“…”

“They’re hazy, those eyes that were so black.”

What a demon. I couldn’t help but think that. In this darkness, with just a bit of moonlight coming in, to notice such a thing just from making eye contact.

“Something was off since you got sick for no reason. There had to be a reason.”

Anger frosted over his quietly settled pheromones. Though his voice was infinitely gentle, his cold expression showed his fury. His direct gaze made my spine shiver involuntarily.

And then came his quiet words, “It’s the drug side effects, that’s what it is.”

“…”

What side effects? How did he know what medicine I took? No, strictly speaking, my eyes changing wasn’t because of the medicine…

“It must be the side effects from that Viagra you took then.”

“…Viagra?”

I stared at him blankly. Such an unexpected word had come from his mouth.

He bent down as if trying to soothe me and calmly met my eye level.

“There’s no way medicine made by that stupid rich man’s company would be harmless.”

Stupid rich man.

It was obvious who those words referred to. The middle-aged man who was killed by Joo Do-hwa and his omega son who tried to seduce Joo Do-hwa at the party.

“The side effects that come to drug addicts are all the same. Vision deteriorates, hands shake, complexion worsens, and eventually, organs fail too.”

Did he just say his vision deteriorated from too many drugs? The face of the middle-aged man who wore glasses that he didn’t usually wear came to mind clearly. Joo Do-hwa also said that he wouldn’t let me take the drug made by such a person because he couldn’t trust it.

“Seeing you sick since then, it must be side effects from taking that fucking drug.”

Joo Do-hwa seemed to think all of this was because of what he mockingly called ‘Viagra.’ The water I drank on the day I differentiated as an omega, when I clung to him speaking vulgar words, probably contained a similar drug.

“So let’s call a doctor and get you tested. If you’re scared of shots, I’ll stay beside you.”

His continued voice was as gentle as though speaking to a young child. The way he cupped my face with his free hand and stroked my eyelids with his thumb was the same.

“Such pretty eyes, we can’t let anything happen to them.”

“Ah…”

I sighed softly and blinked slowly. Though he still seemed angry, at least that anger didn’t seem directed at me. He showed no signs of suspecting my trait or who I was.

“…It’s fine, I’ll get better soon.”

Only then did the tension seem to ease up a little bit. As strength drained from my entire body, my hand gripping his forearm slipped down. When I barely managed to grasp his wrist, Joo Do-hwa glanced down at it and spoke.

“How do you know if you’ll get better or not?”

“I won’t be taking it anymore.”

My illness wasn’t from aphrodisiacs, and regardless of the cause, I wouldn’t take any more medicine. Side effects would heal with time, and even if organs were truly damaged, it didn’t matter.

Wasn’t it already a life spent at rock bottom? As long as my limbs worked, there was no need for elaborate tests and treatment. Yes, everything would end soon anyway.

“You said earlier there were two days left. Let’s do the tests then. I just want to get some sleep tonight.”

I fabricated a calm voice, trying to act as normal as possible. I yawned slightly as if truly tired and sleepy, even wiping away the tears that formed in my eyes. Though he tried to say something, I ignored it and tugged on his wrist.

“So lie back down too.”

Though he had acted like he would shake me off and leave immediately, he docilely climbed back onto the bed as I led him. Joo Do-hwa lowered himself awkwardly and glared at me with tightly closed lips. Though his gaze was fierce enough to be intimidating, somehow it wasn’t very frightening to me right then.

“I’m sleepy, Do-hwa.”

Based on my experience so far, he tended to like it when I acted spoiled. What was it about that ‘hyung’? He showed no signs of disliking it even when I clung to him somewhat annoyingly.

“You said you’d help me sleep…right?”

I carefully read his mood before awkwardly dragging out the end of my words. I’d never begged for anything in my life. But backed into a corner, I managed somehow.

That was when Joo Do-hwa, who had remained expressionless throughout, let out a small laugh.

“It seems like you had no intention of getting better within two days.”

“…”

It was such a sharp observation that I was struck speechless. Since Joo Do-hwa said he’d do tests if I wasn’t better within a week, it meant there would be no need if I recovered within that time. Of course, I had known from the start that that was impossible.

I had said anything to buy time since I knew he wouldn’t accept that tests weren’t necessary, but perhaps it was a mistake. If he decided to call a doctor right now, I would have no right to refuse.

“I did say that. That you need to know just how much of a pushover I can be for you.”

Fortunately though, Joo Do-hwa didn’t try to leave the room again. His voice, tinged with a sigh, carried a slight hint of amusement instead of the earlier anger. His fury had clearly subsided somewhat.

“Fine, let’s sleep for now.”

He quickly got under the blanket and lay on his side facing me. I thought he would close his eyes like before, but this time he met my gaze steadily. His usually languid eyes looked particularly clear today.

“…What?”

Even at this question, he spent a while silently studying my face. Since there was no need to hide my eyes anymore, I didn’t particularly avoid his gaze either.

How much time passed like that? His tightly closed lips moved ever so slightly.

“Maybe because you’re pretty…”

“…”

“I don’t mind even when you act childish.”

Though they were reassuring words, it did feel somewhat strange. Usually, it was Joo Do-hwa, not me, who acted childish. And in a capricious, stubborn way at that.

“Why are you so afraid of shots anyway?”

“…Hmm.”

So that’s how it looked. I felt a bit embarrassed belatedly. To Joo Do-hwa’s eyes, I must have looked like a kid throwing a tantrum about not wanting to get shots.

“You’re not a baby, yet you even tried aegyo that doesn’t suit you.”

“I wasn’t trying aegyo.”

“Yeah, it didn’t look like aegyo.”

The corners of his mouth curved up slightly as he said this. His playful response carried an unconscious hint of amusement.

“You should be grateful. If you were skilled at that too, it would have been really shitty.”

It took talent to make such sweet tones sound so chilling. Tense in a different way than before, I just closed my eyes instead of answering.

“Going to sleep?”

“Have to.”

Unless we were going to have a staring contest all night, it was better to try to sleep now. Though the most dangerous person was nearby and I worried about him detecting my pheromones, at times like this it was better to end the day quickly.

“You sleep too.”

As if intending to follow through on his promise to help me sleep, he wordlessly put his hand on my shoulder. His gentle patting seemed more practiced than when we were young. Yet it was still just as awkward, and after patting for a while, he suddenly spoke.

“Hyung.”

“…What?”

This was just like when we were young. Back then too, Joo Do-hwa, the child, would chatter about pointless things until right before falling asleep. As if somehow unsatisfied, he would start with “hyung” and continue babbling.

“How far should we count as touching?”

“Huh?”

The sudden question was truly unexpected when I thought we would just make small talk. When I opened my eyes wondering what he meant, Joo Do-hwa tilted his head toward me. His face, already close, was now near enough that our noses could touch.

“I said I wouldn’t touch someone who’s sick…”

“…”

“But I was wondering if a kiss would be okay.”