BHB 100

“…I’m sorry about what Lee Taegang did.”

The class he attended after a long time was still just boring, so he passed the time alternating between dozing off and playing games on his phone. He only realized there had been an assignment after the class ended, and in the end, he was dragged to the department office and had to listen to a lecture-like scolding from the teaching assistant. She said there was no returning student who caused as much trouble as him. She gave him an earful, saying at this rate, she wasn’t sure if he could actually graduate. Since she wasn’t wrong, he was just quietly listening when Do Youngjae burst through the office door.

“TA! Noona! What do we do about our banner? Someone else hung theirs where our department was supposed to!”

“What? Ah shit, who did that?!” The teaching assistant, who seemed like she would have kept him for at least thirty minutes, jumped up from her seat with a tiger-like shout. 

As if a red light had been turned on for the festival preparations, even the student council members followed behind Do Youngjae, seeking help from the teaching assistant. 

What do we do about this? What do we do about that? Unknown juniors had distressed expressions, seeming to be facing quite a difficult situation.

Yeowon, thinking this was his chance, tried to quietly slip away, but his arm was grabbed firmly. The rough grip, not surprisingly, belonged to Do Youngjae.

“What?”

When Yeowon looked at him as if annoyed, Do Youngjae responded with clear eyes.

“Help us.”

“No.”

After answering without a moment’s hesitation, Do Youngjae’s face twitched with displeasure. “You’re refusing before I even told you what help I need?”

“Yes. I refuse everything.” Yeowon responded with an expressionless face.

“We’re short-handed. Please help. As a senior, don’t you feel sorry seeing the juniors struggling?”

He gestured toward the student council juniors who were seriously discussing with the teaching assistant, adding a reason that pricked moral conscience, but Yeowon nodded without feeling the slightest bit of guilt.

“Nope.”

At his cold response, Do Youngjae narrowed his eyes and glared at him.

“You left me and Jo Suchan behind yesterday.”

But this time, perhaps feeling a bit guilty, the end of Yeowon’s eyebrow twitched slightly.

“Your friend slapped me to wake me up, see? My swollen face?” Do Youngjae pushed his face up close and raised his eyebrows. 

Kim Myungjoo and Jin Youngchae did have a rough side. Even in high school, they were the kind who would hit the mouth of whoever passed out drunk first. Of course, Yeowon was no exception.

But Do Youngjae and Jo Suchan weren’t like that, so feeling apologetic, Yeowon scratched the top of his cap and clicked his tongue.

“Fine, I’ll help.”

At his indifferent words, Do Youngjae smiled like a victor. Though annoying, Yeowon had nothing to say. After all, he had left herbivores in a tiger’s den.

Yeowon rolled his tongue inside his mouth with displeasure as he wiped away the sweat pouring down like rain. It had already been an hour. An hour of doing all sorts of chores that Do Youngjae ordered.

At first, he said Yeowon just needed to hang the banner, but then he ordered him to move several boxes of food ingredients. Next, he had him set up booths and move stacks of beverage bottles that looked like alcohol. Although he had expected this to some extent, it was around the time when his irritation was reaching its limit. Yeowon threw his cap and wiped his sweaty forehead with a long stroke.

He noticed juniors glancing at him, a senior they hadn’t seen before. Particularly, the girls were glancing. Among them, some were loitering around, wanting to ask for his number. And for good reason – a tall senior with a handsome face, working with his sleeves rolled up to his shoulders, was hard not to look at. Moreover, the arm muscles exposed below his sleeves presented a firm picture not commonly seen among peers. Regardless of rumors, his appearance alone was enough to captivate people.

After putting down the last two boxes of drinks, Yeowon took a deep breath. Though the labor wasn’t welcome, he felt its own advantage – it reduced the distracting thoughts that had been bothering him all day. Having rarely done manual labor, countable on one hand, he didn’t know that physical work had such an effect.

“Tired?”

Suddenly, a drink filled with ice appeared. When he turned his head, the one who had handed him the drink in a friendly manner was none other than Jeon Chaemin. It was the first time seeing him after firmly rejecting his confession. Jeon Chaemin acted as if nothing had happened, with a composed face, but Yeowon couldn’t be so composed. Usually, the person who confessed would be more embarrassed, but perhaps because Yeowon couldn’t understand the two people who had confessed to him, he couldn’t remain as indifferent as usual.

Yeowon didn’t readily accept the drink and quietly looked down at Jeon Chaemin. Looking back, it seemed like everything had started with this person. The starting point that had disrupted all his peace and tranquility. The cause. But he couldn’t blame him either. After all, it was himself who had reacted to it. Lee Taegang was right. He had been jealous of Jeon Chaemin. Shamefully and crudely.

“…The professor said he’ll treat us to a meal after we’re done. Want to join?”

When Yeowon still didn’t take the drink, Jeon Chaemin seemed somewhat embarrassed, but skillfully moved past it and continued speaking. Yeowon couldn’t understand what he was thinking, trying so hard to keep the conversation going. Whether it was a determination not to give up, or an attempt to act like nothing had happened.

“How would you like me to respond?” Yeowon suddenly asked casually, with a small sigh.

“Huh…?”

“Should I answer as if nothing happened, or should I make it clear without any misunderstanding?”

“…”

“Honestly, I still don’t understand.”

Yeowon pulled his cap down firmly again, feeling his sweat cooling. The smile gradually disappeared from Jeon Chaemin’s face as he sensed the coldness in Yeowon’s seemingly calm, low voice.

“I don’t understand how you slept with my friend and then confessed to me.”

“…”

“Or how you’re casually talking to me now after making things so uncomfortable.”

Doing something so uncomfortable as an unwanted confession and then acting as if nothing happened didn’t sit right with him. Until now, he had shown Jeon Chaemin kindness that wasn’t really kindness partly because the situation made it unavoidable, but also because he recognized that he was Lee Taegang’s person. Setting aside his own feelings, he couldn’t pretend not to know since he didn’t know how deep the relationship between him and Lee Taegang was.

Despite his casual tone, Jeon Chaemin couldn’t speak for a while in response to the cold reaction. But Yeowon, not planning to wait long, was about to pass by him without giving him much time.

“Like before…”

An urgent voice held Yeowon back, as if afraid he might leave.

“Couldn’t we… at least be like before?”

Even someone as indifferent as himself could tell it was a difficult statement to make, hesitantly uttered. Yeowon thought for a moment and then awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

“If I treat you like before.”

“…”

“Can you give up on me?”

It was an arrogant question, but Jeon Chaemin lost his words again as if struck at the core. Perhaps not expecting such a ruthless response, he continued to hesitate and couldn’t easily open his mouth.

From the beginning, the idea of staying as they were before with personal feelings involved didn’t make sense. If they remained as before, wouldn’t he just continue to like him as before?

Understanding the silent response as an answer, Yeowon turned around again. But this time, Jeon Chaemin grabbed Yeowon more boldly than usual. He desperately grabbed his arm and looked up at him pitifully. His beautiful eyes were sorrowful.

“What if… I can’t give up?”

Barely managing to say it, his hand, which was holding Yeowon’s arm even tighter, trembled slightly.

“I can’t.”

To top it off, tears fell from those deer-like eyes. They were pitiful and beautiful tears that would make anyone restless just by looking at them.

“I’ve liked you for so long… Really… I know you don’t believe it… But…”

As if overwhelmed with sorrow from Yeowon’s cold response, he pitifully held onto him and began to unravel his pent-up feelings one by one. In this awkward situation, Yeowon uncomfortably wiped his face and let out a deep sigh. As he was crying so sadly like a child, it was difficult to push him away callously. It was maddening, especially since he was crying like that because he liked him.

Moreover, the number of glancing gazes from around rapidly increased at the strange scene. Both Han Yeowon and Jeon Chaemin were notable figures at this school, and there were even rumors suggesting they might be dating, so it was inevitable that interest would pour into a scene that looked like a lovers’ quarrel to anyone watching.

“Ha.”

Yeowon let out a troubled sigh and dragged Jeon Chaemin away without thinking. Heading straight to the connected parking lot, he pushed him into the passenger seat and then went around the hood to get into the driver’s seat.

“Why are you crying, seriously.”

And as soon as he got in, he searched the car interior, but couldn’t find anything like tissues, so he tossed over the zip-up hoodie he had taken off.

“I don’t have tissues. Just wipe your face with that.”

It wasn’t an affectionate tone, but his actions showed considerable care. He didn’t particularly plan to continue the conversation, but he couldn’t ignore a grown man crying in the middle of the street. Besides, to Yeowon’s eyes, Jeon Chaemin was a weak animal. He was instinctively someone who became incredibly weak around vulnerable people.

“…Who cries just because I said a few words?”

Feeling more guilty as if he had made him cry, Yeowon, like something broken, couldn’t look directly at Jeon Chaemin and just rolled his eyes.

“…I’m sorry.”

Since his intention wasn’t to hear another apology, Yeowon let out a silent sigh with an even more awkward expression.

“I’ve only done things to be sorry for you.” Jeon Chaemin squeezed out his voice painfully, tightly gripping the hoodie on his knees. His voice was already soaked with tears. “My confession… I know it’s one-sided. You’re right. Doing that with your closest friend and then… confessing is ridiculous. And I’m a man, too…”

Self-deprecating words quietly echoed inside the car. Uncomfortable content continuously surged.

“Remember? The day I said I first met Taegang…”

Yeowon had a memory of being asked, but it was already a long time ago, so he couldn’t remember. Wondering what he was talking about, Yeowon’s brow, which had been looking only at the opposite side, wrinkled slightly.

“The day I almost got assaulted by a strange person in a bar bathroom, the one who saved me. Actually… it was you.”