BHB 43

“With Taegang?”

In fact, the start of this fight originated from Jeon Chaemin standing before him. If only Taegang and Chaemin hadn’t done that at school. He even had the foolish thought that if he hadn’t known about their relationship till the end, the fight probably wouldn’t have continued like this.

“Did you fight seriously?” Chaemin asked again with a genuinely worried face.

“You don’t look well either.”

This was the first time Yeowon had seen Chaemin since he’d let him sleep at his house. Was it because of that? Yeowon felt a bit uncomfortable with how Chaemin was acting friendly as if nothing had happened. Moreover, because of Taegang’s misunderstanding that he and Chaemin had slept together.

“Just … you know, a little.”

“What do you mean a little? It’s been like this for weeks now. Anyone would think you’re having a lover’s quarrel at this rate.”

“Ah, shut up a bit.” Yeowon hit Youngjae’s shoulder to stop him from his frivolous rambling.

After pondering for a moment, Chaemin cautiously asked while watching Yeowon’s reaction, “Is it … because of me?”

“What?” Yeowon’s brow furrowed involuntarily, wondering why the conversation was heading in that direction.

“That time… when I slept at your house, Taegang…”

“No. It’s not because of that.”

“That’s a relief. I thought … Taegang seemed to be misunderstanding….”

“……”

“You were just helping me out….”

“What are you talking about? Senior, you slept at their house?”

As Youngjae, who knew nothing about the situation, interjected with a question, others nearby also started to take interest. With Chaemin at the table too, it was inevitable that attention would focus on them. 

Before the conversation could progress further, Yeowon suddenly stood up with a loud screech of his chair. It was a clear indication that he didn’t want to continue the conversation.

Feeling his already tight throat constricting further, he left the bar abruptly, ignoring the gazes following him. He just waved his cigarette pack at Youngjae who asked where he was going, and moved to the nearby smoking area to light up. It was a cheap lighter from the oil-filled bar, but no matter how many times he flicked the flint, no flame appeared. 

Click. Click. 

After frantically trying dozens of times with no response, Yeowon irritably threw the lighter away.

At that moment, a small flame flickered before his eyes.

“Here.” Chaemin, who had followed him out, held out a lit lighter towards the cigarette in Yeowon’s mouth. 

Behind the rising flame, Chaemin’s smoothly smiling lips were visible. Yeowon unconsciously backed away, taking the cigarette out of his mouth.

“Not smoking?” When Chaemin asked again at this seeming refusal, Yeowon hesitated for a moment before bringing the end of his cigarette to the offered flame. 

After lightly inhaling to light it, he stepped back again and glanced at Chaemin in front of him. 

Seemingly understanding the meaning of that gaze, Chaemin fidgeted with the lighter and quietly spoke, “You looked really upset.”

“… Well.” Since it wasn’t wrong, Yeowon didn’t bother denying it.

“I was worried anyway. That day, Taegang seemed to… misunderstand a bit.”

“…”

“That you and I….”

“I know.”

“Huh?”

“I know that Taegang misunderstood that you and I slept together.”

“Ah.…” Chaemin’s face reddened momentarily at Yeowon’s direct words, and he averted his gaze, seemingly embarrassed.

“Taegang sometimes … has these strange thoughts. Haha. It was upsetting. No matter what, you and I are both, well, men….” Chaemin continued with what seemed like clumsy attempts at explanation. 

Was this what he wanted to talk about, following Yeowon all the way out here? Even if Taegang had misunderstood, it wasn’t Chaemin’s fault, and it wasn’t the root cause of the fight between Taegang and Yeowon. 

“Still, don’t take it … too badly. I’ll explain it well to Taegang….”

“Usually, people don’t make that kind of misunderstanding.” Yeowon, who had been watching Chaemin to see what he would say, casually retorted along with a deep exhale of cigarette smoke.

“What?”

“Usually, when two men spend a night together in the same house, people don’t easily misunderstand that they slept together.”

As Yeowon pointed out that something was off from the start, Chaemin stiffened as if caught off guard.

Was he concerned about the misunderstanding, or sorry about it, or worried that their relationship might be discovered because of this misunderstanding? Chaemin would know all too well that such a misunderstanding wouldn’t easily arise among ordinary heterosexuals. That’s why he had followed Yeowon to the smoking area with a lighter, even though he didn’t smoke, making excuses. Like a thief with a guilty conscience, he seemed anxious.

Yeowon exhaled a long breath of smoke like a sigh and suddenly said, “Actually, I know everything.”

“… What?”

“About you and Taegang.”

“H-how…?”

“I saw it unintentionally … At school.”

During the brief silence that followed, Chaemin’s face gradually twisted into shock. He was so stunned that he even dropped the lighter he was holding. Seeing him turn pale, Yeowon rubbed his face wearily, feeling heavy-hearted.

Watching Chaemin’s flustered state, it seemed wrong to keep pretending not to know. After all, what he knew wasn’t a big secret since Taegang also knew, and in a way, it seemed impolite that only Chaemin, who was essentially involved, didn’t know that Yeowon knew.

“I didn’t intentionally try to peek.”

“Ah …, s-sorry.” Chaemin stammered, seemingly at a loss for words, saying whatever came to mind. His fingertips were trembling, perhaps still in shock. “Ah, doing that at school … it wasn’t meant to be like that….”

Yeowon calmly continued speaking as he picked up the lighter Chaemin had dropped, “Taegang knows too. That I know about you two.”

“Huh…?”

“I was thinking of continuing to pretend I didn’t know, but it seemed silly to have only you not knowing.”

“Ah…”

“Don’t worry, I’m not planning to spread it around. That you two are dating–”

“What? What did you just say?!” Chaemin suddenly interrupted Yeowon’s careful explanation. His face, tinged with confusion, stiffened as he asked again.

“That you two are dating—”

“Huh? Ah, no. No! We’re, we’re not dating.” Chaemin’s eyes widened and he hurriedly denied it, waving both hands. 

Yeowon’s brow furrowed involuntarily at the sight of Chaemin shaking his head in panic as if Yeowon had said something absurd. “Then… Do you like Taegang?”

“What?! What do you….”

“Don’t you like him?”

“… Rather than liking….” Chaemin’s trailing response wasn’t very clear. 

But one thing was certain: their relationship wasn’t one of deep emotional exchange. Not dating, not liking each other. Perhaps that’s why Yeowon found both Taegang and Chaemin even more incomprehensible.

“So you’re not dating, and you don’t like each other.”

“……”

“How can you….”

‘How can you have sex like that?’

The image of Chaemin begging for a kiss was clear, as was the image of Taegang focused and excited in the heat of the act.

“Yeowon. That … Taegang and I….”

“No. You don’t need to explain anything to me.”

It was just that he was a bit… curious. About the exact nature of their relationship and the meaning of their provocative sex.

Yeowon took one last drag, put out his cigarette, and continued speaking to the visibly flustered Chaemin, “Anyway … you don’t need to worry.”

“……”

“I won’t tell anyone.”

“……”

“To begin with, the other person is my friend, so why would I go around talking about it?” With those words, sounding like a deep sigh, Yeowon walked past Chaemin. 

Just as he was about to leave, Chaemin, who had been looking down, suddenly grabbed his coat. He timidly grasped the hem of Yeowon’s coat and looked up at him with watery eyes.

“You … you….” As if he still had something to say, he bit his lip hard before speaking with difficulty, “You … aren’t you disgusted?”

“… Pardon?”

“Two men … doing that … Aren’t you disgusted?”

This was what he had been hesitating to ask. For a question asked while pitifully clutching his coat, it seemed rather anticlimactic, and Yeowon looked down at Chaemin with a dejected expression. 

After maintaining a brief silence, Yeowon moistened his lips once before speaking honestly, “To be honest … at first I was a bit.”

“……”

“But what can I do? My friend is like that.”

“……”

“I had to try to accept it.”

Of course, it took quite some time to decide to accept it.

Yeowon clicked his tongue briefly and added with a self-deprecating laugh, “And well, it’s ridiculous for me to say I’m disgusted by something others find good.”

His tone was as if flicking away cigarette ash.

Chaemin, who had been listening quietly, cautiously spoke, “You mean … you understand because of Taegang?”

“It’s not something as grand as understanding or anything.”

When Yeowon responded nonchalantly, Chaemin, who had been looking down for a while, let out a faint laugh, “Taegang is lucky.”

“Lucky? What do you mean?”

“To have a friend like you who understands.”

“I told you, it’s not something that grand.”

“Still.”

Yeowon’s eyebrow twitched curiously as he saw Chaemin’s lips tremble slightly. It was a faint smile that seemed subtly subdued. 

Concerned by his dejected appearance, Yeowon asked again, “Are you worried?”

“Huh?”

“That I might go around spreading it.”

“No, no. I didn’t think that.” Chaemin denied it, even waving his hands.