BHB 82

Yeowon tilted his head as he met his kiss. He swallowed what he offered as if it were nothing unusual. The interaction seemed to please him, as the sensation within him intensified.

Yeowon unconsciously tried to part his lips at the tightening pain, but the other person’s firmly intertwined tongue wouldn’t let him go. Lee Taegang started to speed up, sucking on the fleeing flesh so hard that his cheeks caved in. No more conversation was needed. His mouth was blocked, and even moans couldn’t escape properly. Yeowon could only cling to Lee Taegang so as not to fall from the squelching movements, his mouth blocked and his pleas to stop blocked as well.

The massive dick, as big as Namsan Mountain, roughly went in and out of the tightly clenched hole due to tension. Even a slight separation of his upper body would reveal the joined area, and Yeowon unconsciously tensed up. Every time he did, he could see the guy holding his breath. Thick veins bulged wildly on his neck, running down from his jaw.

Although he had clearlycum, the movement didn’t stop. He merely changed position slightly and continued to kiss while thrust in. Fluids dripped onto the floor below them. Feeling distant from it all, Yeowon gazed over Lee Taegang’s shoulder with a semi-resigned expression.

On the screen covering the wall, a classic movie he didn’t recognize was playing. He didn’t know the title, content, or actors. Scenes passed by meaninglessly as Yeowon, caught in the moment, absently watched them.

While he couldn’t understand what the two actors were saying, one subtitle in cursive English burned into h8s vision: “You lost. Admit it.” 

The timing was uncanny. Considering how he was accepting this forceful encounter, the line perfectly matched his situation. 

He had lost.

To everything about Lee Taegang.

***

It was truly fucked up sex. Thanks to that, he realized that his feelings for Lee Taegang were deeper than he thought.

Throughout the sex, even when Lee Taegang made ridiculous threats and acted insultingly, he wasn’t angry. Of course, his pride was hurt, and he was annoyed, but that was it. If it were him normally, he probably would have slapped the guy’s face or kicked him in the stomach and left. But he pretended to lose and accepted everything, and while accepting, he went crazy for the sex and played like a dog.

Yeowon was someone who had never surrendered to physical desire when dating women. He had never dated someone just for physical reasons, nor had he desperately tried to be intimate with someone. Being intimate were just pastimes to enjoy while dating. That was all, and he didn’t particularly miss them when they were gone. He had never intensely wanted anything or burned with desire; rather, he was the observing type.

Yet now he was acting contrary to how he had lived all his life, responding sharply to every word Lee Taegang said. Even attributing pathetic meanings to them.

This unfamiliar version of himself troubled him. He partly felt something was abnormal. H38 even wondered if he was truly losing his mind, causing him to sleep poorly for several days. If this was what having a crush felt like, he never wanted to experience it again.

He was now doing exactly what he had seen as foolish when others did it—anxiously hanging on someone’s every word, unable to get angry when he should, experiencing constant emotional ups and downs. Pathetic Han Yeowon. If Kim Myungjoo heard about this, he would laugh uncontrollably.

Unable to discuss this with Do Yeongjae or Kim Myungjoo, Yeowon headed to his regular convenience store, bought two bottles of soju and a piece of beef jerky, and set up at a table outside. It was the most comfortable place to drink alone.

In truth, he didn’t particularly enjoy drinking alone. More honestly, he didn’t like doing anything alone. He enjoyed sports because most were team activities. Basketball, soccer—almost none were solitary pursuits.

His dislike of being alone started from childhood. The house was always empty when he came home. His parents were rarely home, whether during poor or prosperous times. When they were poor, they were busy working. After becoming wealthy, life became too enjoyable to stay at home.

His mother started new businesses and met new men. Each time Yeowon ran into her, the partner had changed. Meanwhile, his mother seemed to grow younger. She would greet Yeowon with “Son~” when they occasionally met, but that was it. She never initiated contact. When Yeowon wanted to know how his mother was doing, it was easier to check Outstar.

At least he could know something about his mother. He hadn’t seen his father in a long time. The most recent meeting was briefly after his military service to discuss housing contract issues. He didn’t even know he had completed his military service. At this point, feeling hurt by such indifference would be strange. Fortunately, perhaps out of that indifference, he was generous with money. Whether from a tiny bit of guilt or some sense of duty to his bloodline, Yeowon couldn’t be sure.

His mother changed partners frequently, but his father had remarried long ago, making him even harder to see. His new wife was reportedly the daughter of a well-established mid-sized company. Yeowon did attend the wedding, feeling he should make his father’s son known. However, he only exchanged brief greetings with his new stepmother. Naturally, there was no warm welcome. What stepmother would welcome a grown stepson?

Despite the remarriage happening at an older age, many acquaintances came to celebrate. The wedding was extravagant and lavish, with distinguished guests and even some celebrities attending. It was perfectly his father’s world—a new world he had built. And in that world, there was no place for him.

It was truly ironic to feel more distance from family than from strangers.

Yeowon felt he was an unnecessary presence in his parents’ new lives—to the extent that his existence seemed to be denied. His parents appeared to want to erase that period of their lives completely, thoroughly removing him from it. He was essentially abandoned in that spacious, luxurious house. What felt truly devastating about being a child was that despite everything, he still found himself missing them. Occasionally. Suddenly. Sometimes the longing would well up.

After emptying one bottle of soju, Yeowon absently scrolled through his phone contacts. The names “Dad” and “Mom” were always next to each other. He couldn’t remember the last time he had contacted them. Did they even know?

Impulsively, Yeowon pressed the contact saved as “Mom.” The dial tone rang immediately. Yeowon tried to act casual as he held the phone to his ear, but his hand trembled slightly.

-Hello? 

An excited voice rang out clearly. His mother seemed to be at some gathering, as there was considerable noise in the background.

“It’s me,” Yeowon said.

-What? Who is this?

Faced with a voice that didn’t even recognize him, Yeowon let out a deep sigh. “It’s me. Your son.”

But she responded casually, used to this treatment. 

-Son? Oh. My goodness.

After a moment of surprise, the sound of bustling movement reached Yeowon’s ears again.

-Did you change your number?

She asked when it had changed. Despite being asked to save the number each time Yeowon called, it seemed his mother hadn’t done so.

“It’s been several years since I changed it.”

-Really? But what’s going on? Did you get into trouble? Need money?

Voices calling for his mother continued to sound in the background. There was urgency in his mother’s voice as she answered.

“… No.”

-Then what is it? Hurry up and tell me. Mom’s busy. Wait— oh, don’t do that. Ah, I told you it tickles— honey.

His mother’s coquettish voice resonated through the phone as someone nearby apparently wouldn’t leave her alone during the call.

“Just wondering if you’re doing well.” Yeowon was curious sometimes.

-How silly. What nonsense are you talking, calling suddenly? If you need money, message me. Actually, don’t you have Mom’s card? Aren’t you using that?

He had asked about her welfare, not money, but the desired response never came.

“Yeah, I have it.”

-I believe cash is deposited monthly too. I’ve strictly instructed my secretary to take good care of it. Don’t worry.

While Yeowon occasionally wondered about his parents, they never seemed to wonder about him. Every time.

“…Yeah.”

-Good. Don’t cause any unnecessary trouble and stress Mom out.

As if she would even care if Yeowon did cause trouble.

“Alright.”

Though he didn’t mind the nagging and responded properly, no answer came back.

Instead, Yeowon heard the conversation on the other end of the line: -I told you not to, it tickles. What man? That’s my son. Didn’t I tell you? I have a son. But, well… he’s all grown up, so he’s independent now. What, honey? You don’t like women with children?

His mother’s joyful laughter echoed through the phone, suggesting she was with a new boyfriend.