GB 55

The overnight leave time for new cadets is very short. It’s so brief that it might be more appropriate to call it an outing.

Yoon Moo-hwa, whose return time was delayed due to refueling, ended up being the one to send Haero off instead of the other way around. It was the first time, because everytime before, Haero had been the one to see him off and wait.

This kind of farewell was also a first.

Yoon Moo-hwa rubbed his slightly stubbly cheek, not having shaved yet, and picked up the note left on the dining table.

He had slept poorly. Despite being someone who could sleep well anywhere, he tossed and turned for a long time before finally falling asleep at dawn, even oversleeping slightly. And by that time, Haero had done this.

[Don’t make assumptions on your own. Do you know that every time you do that, you act exactly like the father you dislike? You old-fashioned soldier. You can’t put a lock on my entire life. I’m not a plant.”]

Next to “I’m not a plant,” there was even a neatly drawn expression with raised eyebrows and a mouth curved like an upturned bow. Despite knowing that Haero had written this in genuine anger, Yoon Moo-hwa couldn’t help but smile.

Yoon Moo-hwa read the note several times before slumping into a chair. Not wearing his military uniform and looking slightly disheveled from just waking up made him appear quite unkempt.

He idly flipped the note over to the blank side before tilting his head back. Letting his arms dangle, he placed the note on his face.

“Whether Number 8 or Haero, I know they’re one and the same.”

That’s not the issue.

He had never thought of Haero as a child-like existence. He also knew well that since they hadn’t gone through adoption procedures, the argument that “we’re family so we can’t” wouldn’t work. To him, Haero didn’t belong in any category – he cherished him as much as family, sometimes even more than family…

Yoon Moo-hwa stared blankly at Haero’s note.

Suddenly, it was as if Haero’s face appeared from the note, reproaching him.

It felt like Haero, having grown aware of everything and worn down in the parts that should naturally wear, was demanding to know what Yoon Moo-hwa had expected after treating him like a plant grown in a greenhouse with controlled temperature, humidity, and lighting.

* * *

“So, what exactly do you want to do?”

Yoon Moo-hwa met Major Gu Yejin after a long time. Since she was stationed at the naval base, he hadn’t seen her face in a while. Of course, he hadn’t intended to meet her, but he ran into her by chance while going to check on the ship. Of all times, when his mind was so complicated. As he clicked his tongue and tried to avoid her, she caught him.

“You click your tongue when seeing a person?”

After receiving a stern rebuke, the conversation naturally turned to Haero.

Yoon Moo-hwa said that he had received a confession from Haero. Surprisingly, Major Gu didn’t seem shocked.

“You’re not surprised?”

To his nonchalant question, Major Gu briefly avoided answering.

Right. It’s not surprising.

Even though they weren’t blood-related and weren’t legally connected, the closest relationship to describe them would be brothers or family. Yet, she wasn’t surprised that a sexual atmosphere had developed between them.

If she had only heard rumors that “Colonel Yoon brought and raised a younger brother,” it might have been shocking. But having occasionally seen the two in person, Major Gu knew that while they were terribly close, there was a definite line between them. A relationship that, despite living together for so long, seemed more fitting to be called strangers than family.

Something inexplicably strange, something that made you want to watch but also turn away.

“I saw the gossip.” Major Gu set down her glass and offered a more comfortable explanation, “I was amused by the nonsense that the kid you brought and sponsored was actually going to be your fiancé, but suddenly it was taken down.”

“Yeah. I sued them.” Yoon Moo-hwa replied nonchalantly, “To make the company go bankrupt.”

He says something that sounds like bravado as if it were true. In fact, he really did do it.

“Hey, don’t actually do that.”

Major Gu halfheartedly tried to dissuade him, but Yoon Moo-hwa never said it was a joke.

Major Gu wetted her dry throat and returned to the topic, “Actually, it’s not that surprising. Haero would have to have shown interest in others for it to be surprising. At least, I’ve never seen it. At that age, when they should be very interested in dating, his daily routine was to stick to the naval base control line to see you, not to meet friends.”

“How do you know that?”

“I keep in touch with Seon Ikhyeon and Haero occasionally. Didn’t you know?” Major Gu sucked her drink through the straw with a slurp. 

Yoon Moo-hwa thought that Seon Ikhyeon and his colleague before him had an annoying side that irritated people, which made them quite a fitting couple.

“And you don’t seem surprised either? You seemed more surprised when I said I was dating Seon Ikhyeon.”

Was he surprised then? He might have been a little surprised.

Seeing Yoon Moo-hwa not answering, Major Gu shook her head, thinking she knew he’d be like this.

Yoon Moo-hwa wasn’t interested in his surroundings either. Occasionally, he’d hear about someone dating, and when he asked about it the next time they met, they’d often say they had broken up in the meantime. And he’d erase them from his memory so cold heartedly that it would make observers lose affection. He might genuinely not remember.

“Are you going to accept?”

“No.” Yoon Moo-hwa answered immediately.

“Why? You’re not family anyway.”

“It’s not that simple a reason.”

It wasn’t something to be concluded with such binary thinking. If it were that kind of problem, it would have been easier.

Major Gu watched Yoon Moo-hwa’s furrowed brow and raised her eyebrow as if to say, ‘See?’

“Then is it because of the affection of raising him like family? After all, Haero does seem like a younger brother or a child.”

“…”

‘But doesn’t this sound a lot like… relationship advice now?’

Major Gu suddenly realized and adjusted her posture.

Yoon Moo-hwa didn’t seem to think at all that the current conversation sounded like relationship advice.

Major Gu pretended not to notice and probed Yoon Moo-hwa a bit more, “Well. Even I would be flustered if a kid I’d watched grow up since childhood confessed to me. We’re not perverts, after all.”

Yoon Moo-hwa frowned. The word ‘pervert’ stuck in his mind. But there was one thing he wanted to refute. It wasn’t that he had watched Haero grow up, but that he had been able to be by Haero’s side as he grew. They sounded the same but were different.

But no one would understand. Only Haero would probably say, ‘I know what you mean,’ with that characteristically confident smile of his.

“Haero…” Yoon Moo-hwa muttered, resting his chin on his hand and staring somewhere with a frown. “For Haero, it’s better if his feelings for me end in admiration.”

The criticism of ‘Why are you deciding that?’ wouldn’t work on him.

It’s the first time Major Gu seeing Yoon Moo-hwa so confused. He was perplexed. The Yoon Moo-hwa she knew wasn’t someone who treated others this delicately. Being at a loss and worrying didn’t suit this guy.

Major Gu sees it as a sign when people do things they don’t usually do. A sign of something big about to happen, whatever kind it might be.

“Then behave in a way that makes him realize it’s just admiration. You’re partly to blame too. When I see you two sometimes…”

“Sometimes what?” Yoon Moo-hwa asked coldly.

Major Gu also closed her mouth, unable to find the right expression. The more she tried to find the right words, the stranger it seemed likely to feel.

There are moments that feel odd even to observe. Not a sexual tension, but a feeling that they have their own world, something that only they can understand.

“Well, anyway, it’s good that you’re thinking about it.” Major Gu muttered, stirring her glass with the straw, stopping herself before falling into deeper thoughts. “Think of it as late puberty. Haero has been such a good kid all this time. It’s a chance for him to understand parental feelings too, you know.”

Yoon Moo-hwa laughed shortly, “Ha!” at Major Gu’s words, which sounded like a sigh. It was a sneer full of sarcasm.

“Parents?”

‘It’s quite different. Clearly different.’

Yoon Moo-hwa turned his head towards the window where rain was drizzling.

Naturally, a face that didn’t resemble Haero at all was staring back at him.

“It’s different from parents.”

Very different… 

‘Where in the world are there parents who secretly insert trackers into their child?’

* * *

After returning to the Naval Academy, Haero’s daily life became so busy that he couldn’t even tell how time was passing. The intensity and density of training increased enormously. It was due to recent sea trends, but since the reason wasn’t disclosed to the cadets, they would return to the dormitory almost crawling after training, unable to interact with their peers, just falling into a coma-like sleep and waking up repeatedly.

Haero was the same, but throughout all this, he kept thinking about Yoon Moo-hwa.

Admiration? Unable to distinguish between admiration and love?

It wasn’t true. Even though it clearly wasn’t, Haero was tormented by his inability to find a reason to convince Yoon Moo-hwa. He wanted to prove his feelings to him. If possible, he wanted to take out his heart and show it to him.

While his thoughts wouldn’t stop, one fortunate thing was that due to the exhausting training, he fell into deep, dreamless sleep every day.

If he hadn’t been busy and had the luxury to dream, Haero would have been so tired of washing his underwear every dawn that he might have slept naked instead.

Three months passed quickly in this hamster wheel. During that time, there was one day outing and one overnight leave, but his schedules didn’t match with Yoon Moo-hwa’s.

There was no contact either. Since Haero didn’t reach out, neither did Yoon Moo-hwa. Glaring at the silent communication device became Haero’s daily routine, to the point where the machine felt like a more comfortable dining companion than people.

Finally, a relaxed week came. During this week full of theoretical classes, when his mind was finally working and his eyes could stay open, allowing him to contact his family, something happened.

And during this time, Haero found the person responsible for spreading the gossip about him and Yoon Moo-hwa.