GB 76

It was the same habit from when he was young, tasting a bite at a time beside Yoon Moo-hwa as he cooked.

Those who were throwing mischievous glances at So Eunpa all froze, staring at the two. But Haero ate the ice cream as if he and Yoon Moo-hwa were alone. In other words, Yoon Moo-hwa had naturally fed Haero.

“Ah… the lieutenant had no hands free. I was about to ask if he had no hands or feet, but he really had no hands free.” The chief engineer tried to break the tense atmosphere with an awkward laugh. 

It seemed more plausible that Haero had no free hands and they were just helping each other, rather than the two having a romantic interest, or more precisely, than the speculation that Yoon Moo-hwa had personal feelings for his subordinate and fed him ice cream.

People tend to absorb hypotheses they can understand better. 

The operations officer also nodded. “The lieutenant is the youngest among the officers, so I often want to take care of him too. We might not overlap much on duty, but let’s meet often outside work.”

However, even in this atmosphere that was trying to lighten up playfully, So Eunpa couldn’t say anything.

When everyone was giving Haero surprised looks, he inadvertently looked at the captain.

Their eyes met. It was just for a moment, but it sent a chill down his spine as if he had faced the captain’s alien artificial eye. Ironically, it was the captain’s real eye he had met.

Was it just his imagination? Before he could dwell on it, that gaze withdrew.

It must be his imagination. But So Eunpa ended up gently pulling Haero’s elbow towards him.

“I heard there’s a village festival today, are you two going?”

To the question that naturally grouped So Eunpa and Haero together, So Eunpa answered on their behalf, “We’re planning to go if possible.”

“I see. Then let’s meet there. Ah, if we happen to see each other, that is.”

The divorced and now single operations officer was quite handsome, so there was a high chance he might end up with other plans while roaming the city. Catching this implication, the chief engineer burst into hearty laughter.

Yoon Moo-hwa said nothing.

He calmly ate the ice cream with the spoon Haero had licked and simply started walking away slowly.

Haero’s gaze followed Yoon Moo-hwa. As always, it was a natural thing for him. Like waves chasing the moon.

“Lieutenant.”

Haero didn’t even hear the voice calling him, just rolling his tongue in his mouth. The sweet cookie flavor lingered stickily.

“Lieutenant.”

“Ah.” Haero turned his head at the touch on his arm.

So Eunpa, who was about to ask if they could go to the festival together, stiffened his face and reached out. Haero instinctively pulled his head back at the movement approaching his lips.

An awkward silence flowed between the misaligned hand and lips. So Eunpa, managing a smile, tapped his own lips. “Your lips have turned blue.”

Haero’s tongue, which he used to wipe his lips in embarrassment, was also very blue.

It had been stained by just one taste.

Even with just one time.

* * *

Haero ended up accompanying So Eunpa inadvertently. The restaurants So Eunpa took him to were indeed quite good, as he had promised. Haero ordered falafel twice. Although the seagulls eyeing the food were almost ferocious in their attempts, just having a meal in a place that wasn’t swaying was satisfying and special enough.

Although he didn’t get seasick due to the surgery he had, it seemed he had been stressed by the stuffiness of the narrow, enclosed space. Having adapted to the strongly flavored ship food, at first he thought the local food might be a bit bland, but as he ate, he became captivated by its fresh taste. Haero enjoyed a rare moment of leisure, even watching a parade of giant automated puppets.

“How is it? It’s nice, right?” So Eunpa asked with an expectant voice.

The sun was setting. Western Australia was famous for its sunsets. The sky was changing into a beautiful amethyst color. Haero nodded at the mesmerizing purple, not realizing how comfortable So Eunpa’s manner of speech had become.

“I wanted to come here with you.”

Haero turned his head at the shy voice. So Eunpa was holding an ice cream. It was the same flavor Yoon Moo-hwa had been eating.

“I know you don’t know me. But I’ve been watching you since you boarded the ship.”

“…”

Haero was taken aback by the sudden confession. He hadn’t expected it at all. To Haero, So Eunpa was just someone he had met for a very short time. He didn’t know much about him. What So Eunpa knew of Haero was only a small part, mostly the polite, good side that Haero had tried to show.

“You probably don’t know much about me…” Haero mumbled, flustered. “Aren’t you afraid you might be disappointed when you get to know me?”

So Eunpa was older than Haero. Even though they were in uniform, Haero addressed him personally and asked cautiously.

So Eunpa remembered how Haero had looked at Yoon Moo-hwa. He asked somewhat bitterly, “Do you look at the captain that way even knowing you might be disappointed?”

Haero felt like he had been hit repeatedly. His face turned red in an instant. The sunset was falling on Haero’s face too.

“Was, was it that obvious?”

This was a disaster. What if this caused trouble for Yoon Moo-hwa? He thought he had hidden it well, but was there no such thing as secrets on a small ship?

So Eunpa had already given up, seeing Haero’s reaction so different from the response to his own confession.

“You might be disappointed too, Lieutenant.”

“But… but even that disappointment is something I want to know and look forward to…”

So Eunpa had unknowingly given Haero the answer. Although he knew there was nothing good in it for him, So Eunpa responded cheerfully. If he couldn’t tell where Haero’s heart was directed even after seeing his reddened face, he would be too oblivious to qualify for being on the ship. So Eunpa wasn’t reckless enough to stubbornly pursue someone he knew had feelings for another.

In the small confines of the ship, it wasn’t mutual consideration, just one-sided affection. It was fortunate that his feelings hadn’t deepened to that extent yet. Really fortunate. If it had been a little later, he wouldn’t have been able to give up so easily.

“See? That’s how it is.”

Haero seemed to realize something as if struck by lightning.

After a while, So Eunpa made a groaning sound as if stretching. He looked somewhat refreshed at the end. “So, I’ve been rejected, right?”

“I’m… sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. There will be new connections, right? It seems like you’re a fellow victim of unrequited love, so if you drink with me today, I’ll completely forget about this.”

‘It’s not unrequited love yet…’ 

The old rejection was when the confession failed, and now he hasn’t even confessed yet. So it wasn’t unrequited love.

Although he was trying to rationalize, Haero knew he was just a near-loser engaging in mental gymnastics. He was really grateful for So Eunpa’s reaction and, although sorry from the position of the one rejecting, he also felt a kinship in their shared pain.

“I’ll buy the drinks.”

“Speak comfortably. It’s not right for a superior to do that.”

“… I’ll buy the drinks.”

“Then I’ll gratefully accept.”

Haero was surprised by So Eunpa’s grinning face. He was amazed at So Eunpa’s coping method, which was so different from his own. It seemed so light, as if moving on to the next stage. Not that he was dismissing So Eunpa’s feelings as shallow.

Haero ended up asking, “How can you forget so quickly and be okay?”

So Eunpa opened his eyes wide and asked back, “Do I look okay to you? My heart is breaking.”

That couldn’t be true. Haero knew the feeling of a breaking heart very well. Someone with a broken heart couldn’t act like that. Their eyes would be empty, and for a while, they’d wander around as if barely maintaining a shell. Exactly like the saying “losing one’s soul.”

So Eunpa, heading towards the city center with Haero, shared his secret, “I just think, maybe it wasn’t meant to be this time. There will be other connections, right? Just look at the sea, you can see how vast this world is. It’s all opportunity, that’s what it is.”

“Wow… you sound like such a player.”

“Despite how I seem, I’m devoted once I start dating someone.”

“How many times have you dated so far?”

So Eunpa started counting on both hands but stopped after glancing at Haero’s expression.

“Is it normal to date that much?” Haero also asked if he was sincere every time despite dating so frequently. 

It could have been a rude question, but So Eunpa answered sincerely, “The depth might vary for each person, but I was always sincere.”

Yoon Moo-hwa must have met many people too. Whether as romantic partners or not, just the crew members who had boarded his ship so far must have been diverse, and they all would have built different kinds of connections.

How fleeting must the word “forever” feel to Yoon Moo-hwa? How meaningless must “future” seem? When even the sea an hour from now is unknowable.

A cool winter wind gently pushed Haero’s back. Paper flower petals were fluttering down, and in the round open space at the center of the city, light bulbs the size of baby fists were hanging abundantly, creating an exciting atmosphere. People were flocking to the city for the festival. It was bustling and crowded with not only the sailors from Haero’s 8th squad but also sailors from other fleets docked for port calls.

“Ah, it’s more crowded here than I expected.” So Eunpa shouted, holding his beer glass up to avoid spilling. They were being swept up by the crowd. He was big and not easily pushed around, but Haero wasn’t.

“We’ll be holding a human horse-riding game with a case of our local specialty wine as the prize. Civilians and military personnel who wish to participate, please come to the host booth!”

As the announcement spread through the commotion, cheers erupted from the crowd. The enthusiasm was reaching the cool sky.

Haero was absentmindedly watching the paper flowers falling from the sky when he was suddenly swept away.

He was separated from So Eunpa in an instant. Struggling to keep his balance while being pressed by people’s bodies, Haero was pushed back and forth until he was suddenly pulled by someone’s force.