GBH 109

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

However, Song Yi-heon, hiding his worries, couldn’t match his words and actions. Seeing his haggard and pale complexion, it was clear something was wrong, but Se-kyung sat down without pressing further, knowing he wouldn’t talk if pushed.

Se-kyung took out his study materials and flipped through the workbook. His once upright posture relaxed as he leaned his head against the study cubicle divider. A heavy weight pressed against the opposite side of the divider. The two sat with their heads resting in similar positions on either side of the partition.

The scratching sound of writing spread like white noise. The divider Yi-heon was leaning on vibrated.

“… I got rejected from all early admissions.”

The impact of the first midterm exam in 3rd year, where he ranked nearly last in the school, was significant. While his grades in 1st and 2nd year weren’t bad, getting such a low rank in 3rd year, when grades count the most, made recovery nearly impossible.

So when applying, he didn’t have high hopes, and even if accepted, he told himself not to get greedy since he couldn’t attend if Song Yi-heon’s soul appeared. But when he was rejected from all first-round applications, he couldn’t hide his disappointment.

Frequent on the student forum Kim Yeon-ji told him about also becoming poisonous. Usually not checking his phone much, he kept refreshing endlessly when acceptance posts appeared on the forum. He managed to keep his composure until then, but when a student with similar grades posted about being accepted to the same department at a university Yi-heon applied to, he quickly went to check the university website.

The result was rejection. The bright red text stabbed at the fragile heart of the overworked student.

The student who was accepted probably barely made it. But knowing that someone with similar grades was preparing for the second round of admissions while he was rejected by a small margin, Yi-heon felt overwhelmed with disappointment.

He knows comparing himself to others is useless and eats away at untapped potential. Even in his gangster days, he never compared his subordinates to others, but when it came to himself, his stricter standards pushed him into a pit of despair.

The bitter taste of defeat made life’s ups and downs steeper. Hoping for some conventional comfort, Yi-heon leaned his body against the study cubicle divider.

“That’s great.”

“… What?”

‘Did I hear that wrong?’ 

Song Yi-heon slid his shoulder out from behind the divider. Se-kyung, who had also poked his head out, pressed their foreheads together.

“You’ll do well on the college entrance exam, so it’s okay.” Se-kyung wiped the corner of Yi-heon’s eye where tears had welled up. 

Yi-heon tried to act like he wasn’t crying by widening his eyes, but he couldn’t hide his already reddened eyes. 

Before he could feel embarrassed about crying in front of the younger Se-kyung, he grabbed his nape and urged, “We’ll pace ourselves together until the exam. You can do it.”

“…”

“You can do it because you’re with me, Yi-heon.”

The bold words became confidence when they passed through Choi Se-kyung’s lips. Quite reassuring confidence at that. Having seen his grades improve significantly while studying with Se-kyung, Yi-heon had no choice but to believe his words.

“… Right. I can do it.”

Leaning on their touching foreheads, Song Yi-heon repeated Se-kyung’s words. Though it was the same exam as last year, this time a burning belief that he could do it welled up. Probably because of Choi Se-kyung, he thought.

The study room the two students used didn’t turn off its lights even after midnight. After studying in the same position for a long time, Se-kyung arched his back to straighten his hunched shoulders. As he stretched, his shoulder blades protruded, tightening the back of his school uniform shirt.

Se-kyung fumbled for his phone on the shelf to check the time. 1:22 AM. Thinking it would be better to leave now since the study room closed at 2 AM and his concentration was waning, Se-kyung was about to call out to Yi-heon to go home when he paused.

The sound of steady breathing filled the air. Next to him, a back wearing a knit vest was slumped over the desk in a gentle curve. Since they had talked about borrowing an answer key about an hour ago, he couldn’t have been sleeping for long. As Se-kyung stared at the back rising and falling rhythmically, he suddenly stood up, gripping the study cubicle divider.

Beyond the divider, the sleeping Yi-heon was slumped awkwardly against the corner. His cheek rested on his folded arms, squishing his cheek and parting his lips slightly. The sound of steady breathing came from those slightly parted lips.

Se-kyung looked at his profile for a moment before leaning forward.

His long fingers gripped the top of the divider, the bones in the back of his hand standing out. The curve of his outstretched arm connected to his hunched shoulder. The light from the desk lamp attached to the study cubicle shone brightly on his straight shoulders.

Leaning his broad back with its narrow waist over Song Yi-heon, Se-kyung pressed his lips against Yi-heon’s slightly parted ones.

Their lips met. Se-kyung gently touched his dry lips to Yi-heon’s, careful not to wake the sleeping Yi-heon. In the dark, cozy space occupied only by them, they shared warmth along with the sound of steady breathing.

It was a small, special moment on an ordinary day.

* * *

They say the college entrance exam is heralded by a cold wave. The day before the exam, as students went to check out their test locations, snow fell. It was the first snow of November. Powdery snow riding on icy winds froze the already dry landscape even further.

The interior, prepared for the sudden cold, was cozy. Warmth from the heated floor spread to warm the air, and a television with low volume featured an announcer advising students to use public transportation to avoid being late due to traffic jams for tomorrow’s exam.

Song Min-seo lay asleep on the living room sofa covered with a blanket, while the housekeeper was preparing a lunch box for Song Yi-heon to take tomorrow. The rich smell of beef bone soup, which had been simmering for a long time, spread from the humid kitchen to the living room.

“Where are you going?”

As Song Yi-heon, who had gone upstairs early to bed, came down wearing outerwear, the housekeeper, who was preparing ingredients in a spot where she could see the living room TV, stopped him.

“Just out front for a moment.” Yi-heon replied, pulling up the hood of his zip-up. 

He hadn’t noticed inside, but as he stepped out to the entrance, powdery snow was falling again. After catching some snowflakes in his palm, Yi-heon put his damp hand in his hoodie pocket and hunched his shoulders as he ran. His bare feet in slippers hurriedly crossed the garden, chased by the cold.

When he opened the gate, he saw Se-kyung looking up at the night sky. Wearing a fleece jacket over his school uniform, his head tilted back, causing his glossy black hair to sweep backwards. The profile of his forehead, nose bridge, and lips was both curved and delicate.

White breath rose from between his slightly parted lips. The sight reminded Song Yi-heon of a poster of the female lead from a Japanese movie he’d seen long ago, with its impressive snowy backdrop.

‘Pretty thing.’

Sensing his affectionate gaze, Se-kyung stepped forward and held out a heart-shaped case filled with chocolates. But they both knew the chocolates were secondary. Yi-heon let Se-kyung embrace him. The body heat warmed by the fleece’s insulation thawed Yi-heon, who had gotten cold crossing the garden.

“Good luck on the exam.”

“You too.” Yi-heon also wrapped his arms around Se-kyung’s back. He hugged him firm back that wasn’t leaning into him tightly enough to crush him. As the anxiety that had kept him awake subsided, something in his chest swelled to the point of aching.

‘It will go well. I can do it.’ 

Leaning on the solid, warm Se-kyung, Yi-heon repeated to himself. He felt like he could do anything. He was no longer afraid of tomorrow’s exam.

* * *

The bell rang over the speakers. It was the same bell sound as on any mock exam day.

The signal that the moment which seemed like it would never end had finally concluded was ordinary, and it ended far too quickly compared to the effort put in to hear this bell. Song Yi-heon put down his computer-marking pen, but unable to believe it was really over, he looked around in a daze. The other test-takers who had been in the same classroom for half a day seemed to feel similarly to Yi-heon.

After collecting the test papers, the proctor dismissed the students once there were no issues.

“Good work, everyone.”

The exam that they had woken up early for and came to the test site for, which had passed in a blur, was officially over.

“Wow…” Yi-heon rubbed his face dry. 

It was really over. The past days of sitting at a desk, pressing pens hard while aiming for university, flashed by like a kaleidoscope. The efforts poured in for years for this one day had served their purpose and ended in just a few hours. With a hollow feeling of loss somewhere in his body, Yi-heon simply wanted to see Se-kyung.

* * *

The classroom after the college entrance exam was literally a mess. With no teachers able to stop the students who had just taken a life-or-death exam, the corridors and classrooms were noisy with third-year students running around and playing as they pleased instead of sitting in their seats.

“Is Lee Jae-geun not coming to school? Has anyone heard from him?”

“I heard he got a job.”

“A job? Where?”

“At a convenience store.”