GBH 40

 What he awkwardly suppressed during the scuffle was an erection brought on by the physical confrontation. When he had been provocatively playful moments ago, Kim Deuk-pal had now stiffened like a cat stuck on a stove with its tail up. As he got up, pushing against Se-kyung’s chest, contact with the thigh increased the bulge. Kim Deuk-pal quickly rolled aside from his leg.

Choi Se-kyung propped up one knee to cover the erect d1ck and shielded his eyes with his forearm.

Feeling embarrassed and looking away, Kim Deuk-pal tried to escape the awkwardness by blurting out whatever came to mind.

“It’s okay. When guys play around, um, things like that can happen. It’s just, you know, nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“…”

“Hey, when I was young, all the boys in our neighborhood would gather and compare sizes. No, sorry. That was a stupid thing to say.”

“…”

“I think it’s big. Think of it as a compliment. It’s a man’s pride, you know?”

Choi Se-kyung turned over and covered his ears. Although Kim Deuk-pal tried to comfort him in his own way, seeing the other’s reaction made him embarrassed. As he watched Se-kyung’s back, Kim Deuk-pal scratched his head, feeling awkward.

“Hey, sorry. I want to give you some space, but it’s not safe here alone.”

It was a lodging house connected to gangsters, so leaving Se-kyung alone in the inn, was not an option since another thug could cause trouble. Leaving Choi Se-kyung, who wouldn’t budge, Kim Deuk-pal got up and took out the blankets. He covered Se-kyung with one and tossed a blanket and pillow onto his own spot. After hesitating for a while before turning off the lights, he carefully added:

“You can, um, go to the bathroom and, you know, take care of it?”

“…Please, just shut up.”

Kim Deuk-pal closed his mouth tight. He turned off the lights and felt his way through the darkness to lie down. Choi Se-kyung, curled up nearby, exuded a strong presence. Through the thin walls of the lodging house, the sound of a motorcycle passing by could be heard, and a cat in heat wailed as if to split the air. Should he turn on the TV? Kim Deuk-pal, who had kept his mouth shut for the sake of the guy dying of embarrassment, wiggled his toes while looking up at the dark ceiling. He could hear Choi Se-kyung tossing and turning, then letting out a sigh.

“…Sorry.”

“It’s a natural thing for a guy. Nothing to be sorry about.”

“…Ha.”

Se-kyung also lay down and stared at the ceiling. Thinking Se-kyung seemed better than before, Deuk-pal earnestly defended him.

“Not getting it up would be worse.”

“…Yeah.”

“I’ve had it happen too, many times, during scuffles.”

“With guys?”

“Do you think I fight with girls?”

Telling him to be reasonable, Kim Deuk-pal turned to face Se-kyung. Se-kyung had been watching Kim Deuk-pal for a while, and the eyes of the two boys met in the darkness.

“Maybe you’re surprised because you’re young and felt weird to get aroused in front of a guy, but it’s not like the sky is falling or your life is ruined.”

“I’m not a kid.”

“You sure look like one now.”

Kim Deuk-pal propped his head on his elbow.

“Just because you have armpit hair doesn’t make you an adult. Acting without knowing the consequences of your actions makes you a kid. It’s like not knowing what to do when you get an er3ction, or blindly running away from home because your dad said something.”

Se-kyung showed his dissatisfaction when teased about running away, but Kim Deuk-pal continued with his point.

“You need to fully understand what you’re going to do and take responsibility for your actions. If you can’t do that, then you’re just a kid.”

“…”

Through the gap in the open curtain, the stubborn expression on Se-kyung’s face could be seen, tightly pursing his lips against the streetlight seeping in. Finding Se-kyung’s stubbornness cute, Kim Deuk-pal resisted the urge to turn on the light and look more closely.

Kim Deuk-pal realized when Se-kyung looked cute to him. It was when Se-kyung, who pretended to be mature, showed his immature and confused raw emotions. As he grew older and his own emotions dulled, Kim Deuk-pal found Se-kyung’s moments of confusion amusing and adorable, making him want to keep watching.

He found Se-kyung’s awkwardness endearing.

* * *

They had planned to leave the inn before dawn, but due to the lingering effects of waking up early the previous day, both of them overslept. Especially Choi Se-kyung, who had run away from home, couldn’t wake up even when the sun was high in the sky. Kim Deuk-pal, who had eaten all the snacks bought from the convenience store, couldn’t bear his hunger and woke Se-kyung up.

Still half-asleep, Se-kyung was dragged to a local restaurant and nodded off even with a meal in front of him. Kim Deuk-pal found it both ridiculous and amusing to see the usually neat kid headbanging with messy hair, so he picked out some fish for Se-kyung’s rice bowl and nudged him to eat.

After eating and having coffee, Se-kyung came to his senses. They decided to take a walk on the beach before heading home, but before they knew it, the sun was setting.

At the express bus terminal, they checked the schedule only to find that the bus to Seoul had just left, and they’d have to wait an hour for the next one. They had no choice but to buy tickets and wait in the lounge. Despite their intention to return early, time had slipped away.

Sitting in the waiting room, Se-kyung turned on his phone, which he had been avoiding all weekend. The phone he had hoped would die from lack of charging lit up its home screen. The battery indicator at the top was red, indicating low battery.

Then, the phone vibrated violently.

“What’s going on?”

Even Kim Deuk-pal, who had been watching TV in the waiting room, turned his attention to the continuous vibrations. 102 missed calls. Even considering that Se-kyung often received calls from those who mistook his kindness for romantic interest, this was excessive.

“I don’t know, something must have happened…”

As Se-kyung was about to check the missed call list, a new message came in. Just as he read the message, the phone died. Before the shock of the message could subside, Se-kyung saw his dumbfounded reflection on the black screen and laughed at himself.

“Let’s take a taxi.”

“Huh? To Seoul?”

Kim Deuk-pal raised his eyebrows, thinking of how expensive that would be. Se-kyung pressed his thumb on Deuk-pal’s raised eyebrow, lowering it, and then gave a bitter smile.

“My grandfather… has passed away.”

***

The next day, when Kim Deuk-pal arrived at school, he first checked Choi Se-kyung’s seat. Se-kyung, who usually came early, was not there. As Deuk-pal stood at the doorway, a classmate greeted him as they passed by.

“Yi-heon-ah, hi.”

“Hi.”

Although his greeting still carried the tone of textbook formality, Deuk-pal returned the greeting and entered the classroom. He put down his bag and checked his phone, but there were no messages from Se-kyung.

Yesterday, as soon as they received the news, they had taken a taxi from Gangneung back to Seoul. The last message Se-kyung received before his phone died was to come to the hospital where his grandfather had been admitted. It was the same hospital where Kim Deuk-pal, in Song Yi-heon’s body, had once been hospitalized.

In the taxi on the highway, Se-kyung was silent, as if he had lost his voice. He was overwhelmed with regret for having run away from home and foolishly turned off his phone, missing his grandfather’s final moments.

Rather than offering clumsy words of comfort, Kim Deuk-pal had just patted Se-kyung’s shoulder and got off at the station near his house. He had asked Se-kyung to contact him when he arrived, but there had been no word, probably due to the chaotic situation. Kim Deuk-pal wasn’t even sure if Se-kyung had charged his dead phone.

Should I contact him…? Kim Deuk-pal fiddled with his phone. He was worried that since he was the one who had dragged Se-kyung to Gangneung, Se-kyung might be blamed for missing his grandfather’s last moments.

After pondering, Deuk-pal wrote a short message:

“Hey, you okay?”

Send

No, that’s too casual for someone dealing with his grandfather’s death.

He deleted the previous message and, trying to use proper spacing, sat up straight and held his phone with both hands.

“My deepest condolences. The sudden loss of your grandfather must be so hard”

Send

Hard what? Hard to bear? Hard on you? Hard, right?

Unsure of the proper ending, Kim Deuk-pal struggled with the words. However, he couldn’t find the right way to console a teenage boy who had just lost his grandfather.

Formal condolences seemed out of place for their relationship, so he deleted the message.

Can I come over?

Send

No, visiting might be too intrusive.

He deleted the message for the third time. As he kept writing and deleting similar messages, quite some time passed. His new seatmate arrived and tapped his shoulder.

“Yi-heon-ah, the teacher’s here.”

In the end, Kim Deuk-pal couldn’t send any messages and put his phone in his desk drawer. Jung Eun-chae, who came for the morning meeting, stood at the teacher’s desk. Se-kyung’s seatmate raised their hand.

“Teacher, Se-kyung isn’t here.”

“Se-kyung has some family matters to attend to, so he won’t be here for a few days. During his absence, the vice class president, Yeon-ji, will take over his duties. Weekly class duties, please help Yeon-ji.”

“What happened to him?”

“Everyone, you know we have a mock exam next week, right?”

The class was curious, but Jung Eun-chae changed the topic. The only student who knew why Se-kyung was absent was Kim Deuk-pal, who discreetly checked his phone under the desk. There was still no contact.

***

Kim Deuk-pal didn’t know how the day passed. He only checked his phone during breaks, but even during classes, he couldn’t focus on the lessons due to worrying about Se-kyung. He wanted to collect handouts for Se-kyung too, but many other students were already doing that, so he let them take care of it.

After the final homeroom, Kim Deuk-pal packed his bag to go to the study hall. He was walking out the school gate with his bag slung over one shoulder and checking his phone with his other hand.

“Yi-heon-ah, Song Yi-heon!”

Hearing someone call his name, Kim Deuk-pal looked up from his phone. Kim Yeon-ji was running towards him from outside the school gate, catching her breath.

“Did you see the group chat?”

Kim Deuk-pal pretended to check his messages just then.

“Sorry, I’ve been out of it today…”

A pile of unread messages had accumulated while he was preoccupied with worrying about Choi Se-kyung. As he belatedly tried to check them, Yeon-ji pulled him to a corner outside the gate and lowered her voice. Her expression grew serious to match her tone.

“Se-kyung’s paternal grandfather passed away, so we’re going to pay our respects. We thought if we told the whole class, everyone would want to come, so the homeroom teacher, me, and a few close friends decided to go. Want to join us? Hey, hey, Yi-heon-ah!”

Without hesitation, Kim Deuk-pal grabbed Yeon-ji’s hand and led the way to where her friends were gathered on the sidewalk. The shorter Yeon-ji had to move her short legs quickly to keep up.

“When I didn’t see you respond in the chat, I thought you weren’t coming, but then I noticed one person hadn’t read the messages. I wondered if you might not know about the condolence visit.”

She was about to call and ask when she spotted Song Yi-heon coming out of the school gate. Even among the crowd of students leaving school, the handsome Yi-heon stood out. Yeon-ji was recalling how well the school uniform trousers suited his slim figure when she was pulled along by Yi-heon, who was rushing towards an arriving taxi.

By the time Deuk-pal joined them, the others had already called taxis. They arrived at the funeral home in two separate cabs. Jung Eun-chae, who had gone ahead with other teachers, came out to meet the students after receiving their call. Though they had tidied themselves up in the taxi, the students nervously fidgeted with their uniforms. Kim Deuk-pal, however, was tense for a different reason and stuck close to the others.

“Over here, kids.”

Jung Eun-chae called out to the group, making sure they didn’t get lost in the crowd. Despite the funeral home’s modest size, there were many mourners. Among the sea of black suits, some wore badges indicating they were lawyers, and surprisingly, a few wore badges indicating they were prosecutors. Though he was now just a high school student and no longer a gangster, old habits seemed ingrained in Kim Deuk-pal’s soul, not just his body, as he felt nervous.

“His dad is some big-shot prosecutor or something.’

Hong Jae-min’s words flashed through Kim Deuk-pal’s mind. He knew there were a few prosecutors with the surname Choi. Just in case, he carefully scanned the electronic board in the funeral home lobby.

He searched for the name Choi among the room numbers, names of the deceased, and names of the chief mourners and children. There was only one. Despite the crowded board suggesting a large family, a few names stood out: the late Choi Ho-seok, son Choi Myung-hyun, grandson Choi Se-kyung.

“Choi Myung-hyun is Se-kyung’s father…?”

Kim Deuk-pal muttered in shock.