LM 108

“Sleep over there.”

The wall side was somewhat more comfortable. Woo Hyunse looked at both sides alternately and promptly lay down near the bathroom, where Kwon Siyul had intended to sleep. His feet and even ankles stuck out beyond the blanket. He had to bend his knees since his soles touched the wall.

“It’s less cold by the wall.”

“Why are you lying so far away?”

Woo Hyunse stretched out his arm. He grabbed Kwon Siyul’s blanket and slowly tugged on it. Kwon Siyul snatched his blanket back from the other man’s hand.

“No.”

“Come on. You said it’s cold.”

“I said no.”

“I told you I won’t do anything.”

“Still, no.”

He even shook his head. At the firm refusal, Woo Hyunse let out a small sigh. Then, hugging the pillow like a stuffed animal, he turned completely toward Kwon Siyul. Under his particularly dense eyelashes, his eyes seemed to glisten. He looked up at Kwon Siyul with moisture in eyes.

“I can’t sleep.”

“…”

“I haven’t slept properly since you left, Kwon Siyul-ssi. They say it’s insomnia, but the sleep medication doesn’t seem to work on me.”

He should have cut off his words and said that it was none of his business. But Kwon Siyul only flinched and couldn’t actually move far from Woo Hyunse. Hearing this, the other man seemed to have grown gaunt in their time apart. If the shadows under his eyes weren’t from the light but due to lack of sleep…

“…If I’m close, can you sleep well?”

“Well. We’d have to try to know.”

More than saying it was obvious, the tone of wanting to experiment swayed Kwon Siyul’s heart. He wanted to be even a straw for Woo Hyunse to grasp at. …Because it was just for one night. He nodded his head reluctantly as if granting permission.

The distance was halved. Woo Hyunse seemed satisfied with that much and didn’t pull the blanket any further.

Kwon Siyul lay facing the wall, wiggling his toes. In just a little while, the dawn light would brighten. He needed to get even a few hours of sleep for work tomorrow. But his senses were on high alert to every movement coming from the other man. The body scent filled the room, and the sound of tossing and turning made his closed eyelids open automatically, putting aside drowsiness for now.

“Can’t you sleep?” Kwon Siyul asked softly in the pitch-black darkness.

“A little sleepy.”

“Then go to sleep quickly.”

He spat out intentionally grumpily. There was a rustling sound as Woo Hyunse turned over.

“I think I could sleep if Kwon Siyul-ssi held my hand.”

Kwon Siyul tightly shut his eyes without responding. He shouldn’t even let his fingertips touch Woo Hyunse. If he felt that body heat unnecessarily, he might end up rolling into those arms.

It didn’t take long for Woo Hyunse, who said he was a little sleepy, to fall asleep. The sound of even breathing could be heard from behind. Only then did Kwon Siyul turn his body away from facing the wall. Carefully changing his position to not make any noise of clothes or blankets rustling, he looked at Woo Hyunse.

He waved his hand above the eyes. It looked like Woo Hyunse was fast asleep. The breathing sound remained the same. Despite saying he had insomnia, he was in a deep sleep, whether Kwon Siyul was effective or it had been an outright lie that he couldn’t sleep.

Careful not to wake the other man, holding his breath, he traced Woo Hyunse’s features with eyes now accustomed to the darkness. Straight, thick eyebrows, long and deep eye lines, down the bridge of the nose to the lips.

The lips that had a refreshing smile when he laughed, and a soft smile on his face. Kwon Siyul stared for a long time at those lips that sank softly when pressed and bounced back elastically. A place he deliberately never looked at when Woo Hyunse was awake.

“…”

Kwon Siyul bit his own innocent lips hard and turned away abruptly. Like at first, he lay facing the wall, crossed his arms tightly, and firmly closed his eyes, furrowing his brow. He had to be able to sleep. He absolutely had to fall asleep.

A dim dawn light seeped through the gap in the moth-eaten curtains. Woo Hyunse slowly opened his eyelids. For someone just waking, his gaze was clear and sharp. Like someone who hadn’t slept even for a minute.

Kwon Siyul’s arm was stretched out to his side. Woo Hyunse stared blankly at that hand in the faint light, then grasped it as if holding a thin layer of ice. He pulled it close to his face and buried his nose in it.

The subtle wisteria scent that he had been desperately hiding since entering the room was finally seeping from the skin. He breathed it in deeply without the other noticing, savoring it like cigarette smoke, trapping it deep inside and greedily intoxicating himself.

That scent melted away his anxiety. It scraped away the thorny restlessness and brought back sleep that had run far away and not returned.

Just as he had suddenly realized in the dirty, narrow alley, another realization came to Woo Hyunse right then.

Without Kwon Siyul, I’ll spend a lifetime of sleepless nights.

I’ll live chewing only on regret and loss, never complete.

He’s indispensable.

Without Kwon Siyul, both the present and future were utterly meaningless.

It wasn’t just his head speaking, but instinct. This beastly intuition had saved Woo Hyunse countless times at the crossroads of death and life.

Kwon Siyul made a small sound and turned over. Fortunately, his hand didn’t slip away. Woo Hyunse grasped that hand firmly and closed his eyes.

This was enough for now.

It was a deep sleep after a long time.

Kwon Siyul’s eyelids twitched. His eyelashes trembled, and his eyes slowly opened. His eyes, still drowsy with sleep, were utterly blank.

Kwon Siyul blinked a few times and looked up. A large palm was shading his eyes. It became a curtain, blocking the light that had come through the windows. After looking at the deep, long lines on the palm, he turned his head.

“Did you sleep well?”

Woo Hyunse was lying there in bed beside him. In this dreamlike situation, Kwon Siyul’s brows furrowed sharply, and the corners of his mouth rose slightly.

“Yes. How about you?”

“Thanks to you.”

Woo Hyunse’s voice from beside him was unusually vivid. That was how he knew it was real. Ahem, Kwon Siyul cleared his throat to shake off the awkwardness.

The bed must have been uncomfortable. The blanket underneath was so thin the floor could be felt through it, and the already chilly room was cooler than usual due to the rain. Despite this, Woo Hyunse’s complexion was brighter than the dawn. His cheeks had color, and his eyes had a clear light. Even the shadows under his eyes had faded so much they were barely noticeable unless looked at closely.

“You’re going to work today, right?”

Woo Hyunse brushed Kwon Siyul’s hair behind his small ear. Kwon Siyul rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Maybe because he wasn’t fully awake yet, or because Woo Hyunse was beside him, it felt like they had gone back to the past. Back to when they would greet the morning together in a cozy bed. Back to when they would whisper morning greetings while rubbing each other’s feet.

A slow “Yes” flowed out in response. Woo Hyunse’s nose tip brushed against Kwon Siyul’s. When Kwon Siyul frowned, Woo Hyunse naturally moved away as if nothing had happened. He hadn’t told him to move away, but even if he felt regret, he couldn’t pull him back.

“What time is it?”

“8 o’clock. Let’s have breakfast together.”

The café job started at 10. Kwon Siyul stretched his arms upward, reaching out fully. He tensed his body to the tips of his toes, then relaxed and sat up.

Leaving the inn, Kwon Siyul headed to a clothing store first. The clothes Woo Hyunse had worn were still damp and unwearable. The only things in his size were a black sweatshirt and jeans. Worried that he might not wear them since they weren’t new but second-hand, Kwon Siyul was surprised when Woo Hyunse readily accepted the clothes. While at it, he also changed his dress shoes for sneakers.

“It’s comfortable.”

For just throwing something on, it suited him surprisingly well. With his hair naturally tousled over his forehead and in casual clothes, Woo Hyunse looked much younger than his actual age. Kwon Siyul struggled to keep his gaze from constantly turning toward the other man and walked forward.

“Is soybean soup okay?”

“Yeah.”

Come to think of it, wasn’t the first place they drank together a food cart? Kwon Siyul quickly bit his bottom lip to stop himself from laughing out loud. He felt pathetic for his childishly excited heart, even as he tried to act nonchalant about the whole thing.

The restaurant wasn’t far from the clothing store. Though the exterior was shabby and the interior cramped, the owner’s cooking skills were quite good and the side dishes were plentiful. With it still being the early morning, Woo Hyunse and Kwon Siyul were the only customers inside the restaurant. They took a table a bit away from the kitchen.

“The food’s good here. I used to come sometimes with Yuwon.”

“Really?”

The soup came out quickly after ordering. They waited for the bubbling soup in the earthenware pot to cool down a bit. Meanwhile, they nibbled on the delicious cubed radish kimchi, vegetables, and pink sausages that hadn’t been served when Kwon Siyul came here with Kwon Yuwon.

The owner glanced at Woo Hyunse when taking their order and added an extra side dish, saying he’d never seen such a handsome man in his life.

“Does it suit your taste?”

“Yeah.”

Kwon Siyul expressed relief, saying he had worried it might not. Seeing Woo Hyunse nod his head, Kwon Siyul also picked up his spoon.

Woo Hyunse’s bowl emptied first. Feeling a gaze staring at him, Kwon Siyul quickly wiped his mouth with a napkin, thinking he might have rice grains stuck there. But no matter how much he rubbed, nothing came off.

“Is there something on my face?”

“No.”

“Then why do you keep looking at me like that?”

“Because I want to see you.”

The unexpected words made his face hot. It felt like sparks were flying wherever that gaze touched. Kwon Siyul lowered his head deeply and stirred his soup needlessly even though it had already cooled.

“Kwon Siyul-ssi,” Woo Hyunse called out softly. Kwon Siyul raised his head as if entranced. Whenever and wherever he heard that voice, he would turn around instinctively, even while walking down the street.

“I’m planning to call off my engagement.”