LM 43

“Hyung-nim, aren’t we bound by blood? Are you going to let your little brother starve? Hyung, I really don’t have a single penny to my name. I can’t even go on dates like this. Do you want your little brother to spend Christmas alone and lonely while couples can be spotted everywhere?”

“Ah.”

Woo Hyunse responded dryly. Despite the answer showing not even a hint of interest, Woo Taeju dramatically continued, like an actor before an audience, even placing his hand on his chest for dramatic effect.

“I need to be part of a couple too. If I die alone living like this, how sad will you be, hyung? Imagine your only little brother dying alone in a tiny room. How tragic. It’ll even make the news.”

“You’re good at talking nonsense. Keep barking.”

Although he had noticed the moment Woo Taeju started sucking up, Woo Hyunse pretended not to and continued to watch his brother act as if he was unaffected by the whole thing. Seeing his performance, Woo Taeju shook his thick upper body from side to side and made a ridiculous “eeng” sound. The sound coming out of his mouth was a bit creepy. About as much as seeing a zombie suddenly appear in a B-grade horror movie. 

“Shit,” Woo Hyunse cursed sincerely.

“Pay it back.”

“Money transactions between us…I’ll pay you back with love.”

“Bullshit.”

Even while cursing, Woo Hyunse generously transferred pocket money to Woo Taeju’s account. Despite everything, he was a cousin brother, who was pretty generous. After checking his account, Woo Taeju lunged across the table as if to shower Woo Hyunse with affectionate kisses. Woo Hyunse pushed his head away firmly, looking serious.

“Oh right, hyung, have you met Noona Seohee?”

Woo Taeju, sitting on the porch and putting on his shoes, looked up. He was casually wearing limited edition sneakers as outdoor shoes. It was no wonder that his card limit reached the max so quickly. At that moment, Woo Hyunse couldn’t help but think of Kwon Siyul, who would be at home now, startling like a street cat seeing a large dog when shown price tags of potential gifts.

“Seohee?”

It was an unfamiliar name. Even after carefully recalling if there had been someone with that name in the past, nothing came to mind. Seeing Woo Hyunse’s reaction, Woo Taeju opened his eyes wide, as if confirming that he really didn’t know.

“In Seohee. You don’t even know your fiancée’s name, hyung?”

“I’ve never been engaged before.”

He had never met her, let alone heard her name. But apparently, Woo Taeju knew about it. It meant that rumors had already spread, or the well-connected Woo Taeju had picked up the information from somewhere.

“You will be soon, anyway. That noona is nice. She has a good personality too.”

“…”

He knew that since he was inside the restaurant he couldn’t smoke. Woo Hyunse took out his cigarette pack, and then put it back into his pocket. His mouth felt dry.

“Ah, she has a boyfriend though.”

As if suddenly remembering, Woo Taeju added this piece of information. He seemed to know a lot about this fiancée whose face Woo Hyunse didn’t even know.

“But hey, does hyung care about that kind of thing?”

After casually revealing someone else’s private life, Woo Taeju smiled innocently. His face showed no concern about what he had just said or what impact it might have. To Woo Taeju, both Woo Hyunse’s engagement and his fiancée having a boyfriend were just gossip to mention once and forget the next moment.

In contrast, Woo Hyunse refrained from speaking. A single word from him could reach his uncle’s ears through Woo Taeju, and then the ears of the patriarch.

Woo Hyunse sent Woo Taeju off in a taxi. He walked out of the restaurant gate, following the wall, and put a cigarette in his mouth.

Whether one wanted it or not, time flowed on. Exhaling a cloud of smoke, he looked up at the sky. Dark clouds were heavily gathered overhead, as if a heavy snowfall was in the forecast.

* * *

Snow could be seen falling outside the window. When they had first entered this bar, it had been raining steadily, but time had passed quickly since then. The calendar pages had flipped by. It was already the beginning of the last month of the year.

Kwon Siyul paused his cleaning for a moment to watch the snowy scene outside the window. It was fine, powdery snow. Even when it fell on the road, it scattered like flour in the blowing wind.

Unlike today, the first snow had produced big, fluffy flakes. Kwon Siyul had welcomed the first snow wrapped in blankets at Woo Hyunse’s house.

Kwon Siyul had settled into Woo Hyunse’s house somewhat reluctantly. Rather than crawling in on his own, it was more that Woo Hyunse wouldn’t let him leave. Feeling awkward about living as a freeloader, he had tried to return home several times but never succeeded. Woo Hyunse strongly insisted that the shop was much closer to here and that all necessities were already provided.

When Kwon Siyul tried to go to the inn to at least get clothes to wear to work, Woo Hyunse offered to drive him, but instead of going to the inn, he decided to stop by a shop. That day, Kwon Siyul tried on dozens of outfits and received just as many.

“Just winter clothes for now.”

Kwon Siyul turned him down, feeling indebted, but Woo Hyunse deliberately tore off all the tags from the clothes right in front of Kwon Siyul’s eyes. He even stamped them to prevent returns, forcing Kwon Siyul to reluctantly accept the clothes.

“I haven’t even paid you back for the shoes yet.

“If it bothers you that much…you can pay back with…”

“Pardon?”

Kwon Siyul missed the middle word and asked again, but Woo Hyunse simply grinned mischievously. In the end, the closet in the room Woo Hyunse provided was filled with new clothes—padded jackets, coats, pants, tops, and even hoodies that Kwon Siyul loved so much to wear. They were all expensive brands that Kwon Siyul couldn’t hope to repay unless he won the lottery.

He hadn’t even paid off the shoes yet, and now more debt piled up like fallen leaves. In fact, Woo Hyunse had refused when Kwon Siyul offered to pay for the shoes earlier. Saying he might run away without paying the debt—it was surprising compared to the past when he claimed not to distrust Kwon Siyul.

The house was spacious, with a bathroom attached to Kwon Siyul’s room. But they almost always slept together. Even if he fell asleep in his own bed, he would wake up in Woo Hyunse’s bed. Kwon Siyul suspected he might have sleepwalking issues until Woo Hyunse boldly confessed to him: “I moved you while you were sleeping.”

When asked why he didn’t just let Kwon Siyul sleep in his own room, Woo Hyunse gave an absurd answer.

“It’s winter, so it’s cold.”

It was a ridiculous excuse, given that it was warm enough indoors to wear short sleeves.

Woo Hyunse’s work hours were irregular. Some days he left early and came back early, other days he left late and returned late. Kwon Siyul deliberately didn’t ask what kind of work he did. He had a rough idea about it. After all, hadn’t he personally experienced where and how their first meeting occurred?

“I have two days off next week. Want to go somewhere?”

Kwon Siyul, who was lying on the sofa using Woo Hyunse’s thigh as a pillow while watching TV, perked up. He had been starting to feel a bit bored with the routine of just going between home and the shop. He raised his upper body to look at Woo Hyunse. His eyes were sparkling with anticipation right then.

“Where to?”

“Well, where do you want to go?”

“Um…Oh, how about the sea? I want to see the ocean.”

The last time he had gone was after the college entrance exam with Kwon Yuwon. Even then, it had been cloudy and the sea wasn’t as blue as he had hoped it would be. He wanted to see with his own eyes the rolling blue waves he had only seen in videos.

“Alright.”

Woo Hyunse smiled gently and brushed Kwon Siyul’s bangs off his forehead. Such contact had become as natural as flowing water. They even slept closely together like one body. Even if Kwon Siyul lay on his side, he would end up rolling into Woo Hyunse’s arms, or feel the warm, firm chest against his back.

“…”

Even though no one was watching, Kwon Siyul felt his cheeks burning up for no good reason. He grinned, then quickly composed his expression while glancing around.

Seeing the snow reminded him of old memories of playing in front of the orphanage, and of Kwon Yuwon, who was a constant figure in his memories. How many days had it been since he’d last seen him? Kwon Siyul counted the days on his fingers, then rested his chin on the end of the broom handle and sighed heavily.

Communication with Kwon Yuwon was sporadic. If Kwon Siyul sent a message early in the morning, a reply would arrive late at night or in the early hours, usually just one. He still wasn’t answering phone calls. He said he was busy looking around and searching for jobs.

Kwon Siyul was somewhat relieved to hear that Kwon Yuwon was looking for work. In truth, he was still half in doubt. Was it possible that Kwon Yuwon had accepted the pig’s offer and gone far away? Was he in danger? Only Kwon Yuwon knew the answer to these questions, but Kwon Siyul couldn’t even see his face, let alone talk to him on the phone. So he was left in the dark.

Kwon Siyul read Kwon Yuwon’s text message once more to alleviate his anxiety. Kwon Yuwon was smart and capable, so he’d probably be able to get out of any crisis, but…

…it was probably just needless worry.

He’d surely manage well—this level of concern was becoming a sickness. Kwon Siyul shook his head vigorously and drew his gaze away from the window. He diligently swept the floor with the broom, erasing one by one the jumbled thoughts that cluttered his mind.

[When shall we meet?]

[I’m free anytime.]

[Let me know when’s good for you, hyung. I’ll skip class.]

Woo Taeju sent messages whenever he had a chance. If Kwon Siyul put his phone aside for a while due to work, he’d later find ten or twenty messages piling up. Mixed in were questions about whether he’d eaten, where he was, updates on what Woo Taeju had been doing, and even coffee gift certificates.

When Kwon Siyul told him not to send such things, Woo Taeju insisted that he just sent them because he was thinking of Kwon Siyul, and suggested they use the coupon for coffee when they next met.

He told him he should meet him at least once.

In Kwon Siyul’s world, the only person he could call a friend was Kwon Yuwon. Throughout elementary, middle, and high school, and at the orphanage, he had met people he could somewhat call friends, but Kwon Yuwon, who was like a brother to him, was the only one he had maintained contact with until now.

But now that Kwon Yuwon wasn’t by his side, Woo Hyunse was there, but he clearly wasn’t a friend. The world was wide, but from Kwon Siyul’s conservative perspective, he couldn’t call someone he was physically intimate with a friend.

It happened to be a day off. Woo Hyunse had left early in the morning, saying he had work. He said he’d be back late at night. For the first time in a while, Kwon Siyul had some free time to do as he liked.

As he lay on the sofa playing a phone game, his phone rang. Thinking it might be Woo Hyunse, he even paused his game to answer, but it turned out to be Woo Taeju, who shared a surname with Woo Hyunse.