LM 44

[Are you free today, hyung?]

[I got some pocket money.]

[Let’s go eat something delicious.]

He sent a link along with the messages. After checking the clock, it was almost lunchtime. Woo Hyunse had left money for food, but Kwon Siyul didn’t feel like using it.

[This place has a Michelin star. I know someone who can get us a reservation. Should I book it now?]

[Usually, same-day reservations aren’t possible, but I can do it.]

“That’s a bit…”

It felt burdensome to receive something for free without even having lifted a finger to help out. The prices on the menu were quite high. He was already receiving more than enough from Woo Hyunse, and that was sufficient to make him feel a sense of indebtedness that went beyond mere burden. Kwon Siyul sent a message expressing his honest feelings about how getting treated felt burdensome. The reply came in less than 10 seconds.

[Then hyung can buy me coffee. There’s a café I want to go to, but none of my friends will go with me. I’m alone.]

[I’m lonely.]

There was a whole page of crying emojis. Kwon Siyul’s gaze lingered on the word “alone.” If that word hadn’t been there, he would have turned him down without hesitation, saying he couldn’t make it today.

Kwon Siyul put his phone down on his chest for a moment and looked up at the ceiling. The ceiling in the inn wasn’t very high—if he stood on his tiptoes and stretched his hand, he could touch the fluorescent light. It wasn’t like that here. The ceiling was so high that even if Woo Hyunse stretched his hand out, it was far out of reach.

Maybe it was because they were always together, but without Woo Hyunse, the house felt like an empty lot. Even with the TV chattering away for most of the day, it wasn’t enough to fill the empty void.

“…”

Hadn’t he decided to meet him once anyway? Any other day would be filled with activities with Woo Hyunse, so it seemed difficult to make time separately if not today. Kwon Siyul got up with a grunt. More than anything, the whining about being lonely tugged at his heartstrings.

Woo Taeju waved excitedly from afar. He walked briskly at first, then broke into a full sprint, his clothes fluttering in the wind. He stopped abruptly right in front of Kwon Siyul, then grinned widely upon seeing his face. If not for the lack of a visible tail, his behavior was just like that of a large golden retriever.

“Siyul hyung!”

His voice was loud and booming. He stretched out his arms as if to hug Kwon Siyul, but when Kwon Siyul hesitated and took a step back, Woo Taeju quickly hid his hands behind his back. He still reminded Kwon Siyul of Woo Hyunse, but his grinning face also looked very innocent in the light right then.

“You must be hungry. Let’s go in quickly. Let’s eat first.”

Woo Taeju put his arm around Kwon Siyul’s shoulders as they entered the restaurant. As he had said, he had made a reservation. They were immediately guided to a table where he gave his name. The atmosphere was similar to the restaurant Kwon Siyul had once visited with Woo Hyunse. Back then, he hadn’t known whether he was eating through his nose or mouth, and he had an ominous feeling that this time would be a similar experience.

Kwon Siyul followed behind Woo Taeju awkwardly, already feeling queasy. He vaguely remembered Kwon Yuwon’s lament about how pine caterpillars should stick to pine needles, and that eating unfamiliar things would make them sick and die. As he recalled this particular tidbit of information, Kwon Siyul likened such a thing to dining out at fancy restaurants.

“I’ve always wanted to come here, but I never thought I’d come with you, hyung. This is great.”

“Didn’t you say you had a lecture today?”

“Ah, I decided to skip it.”

“Is that okay? Tuition is really expensive, isn’t it?”

Woo Taeju clearly had the air of a young master from a wealthy family. While Kwon Siyul didn’t know the exact prices of his clothes or shoes, their quality and style exuded expensiveness. Judging by how easily he made reservations at places like this, he must have grown up without any financial constraints. He was like a bright and happy hothouse flower, raised with plenty of parental love.

To Kwon Siyul, who grew up as a weed from outside the greenhouse, Woo Taeju seemed to belong to a completely different universe. Perhaps that was why, even when they conversed, Kwon Siyul couldn’t bring himself to be truly interested.

“It’s fine. I have a lot of money. And my grades are good too.”

As expected. Kwon Siyul nodded his head and picked at his food. Objectively, it was delicious, but it didn’t suit his taste. He preferred things like ramen or fried rice. Or the pasta that Woo Hyunse used to make for him.

The meal ended quickly. Woo Taeju was in high spirits. Even with Kwon Siyul’s somewhat dull responses, he skillfully led the conversation. Just as he had been at the motel, he was full of curiosity and questions. He seemed to want to know everything about Kwon Siyul, and questions were coming out of his mouth nonstop.

“Are you always this inquisitive?”

The ice cream in front of Woo Taeju was half melted in the bowl. Despite saying he had wanted to come here, he barely touched his food.

“Ah, I was being a bit too forward, wasn’t I? I’m just curious about everything about you, hyung. Actually, there’s one thing I’m most curious about…”

“What is it?”

“Will you answer?”

“It depends.”

“Come on, don’t be like that. Just answer. Okay, I’ll ask.”

Kwon Siyul was also curious about what Woo Taeju wanted to ask. The most frustrating way to communicate was to hint at something without revealing the core. Kwon Siyul, taking the bait, nodded in agreement. Woo Taeju cleared his throat and started.

“Hyung, do you have a lover?”

Kwon Siyul’s hand, which was scooping ice cream, paused momentarily. Woo Hyunse immediately came to mind. But the affirmative answer didn’t come out right away.

“Ah, our first meeting was in that kind of place, wasn’t it? I thought you obviously wouldn’t have one, but thinking about it again, quite some time has passed, and you might have gotten a lover in the meantime. So, that’s why. Just curious.”

Woo Taeju rambled on. Kwon Siyul silently mulled over the word “lover.” Although Woo Hyunse crossed his mind as soon as he heard the word, for some reason, it felt like he shouldn’t say it out loud.

Lover.

Is that what they were?

He remembered a voice he had faintly heard over the phone before. Woo Hyunse answered languidly but firmly that it wasn’t the case when asked if that person was his lover. Time had passed, but the relationship between him and Woo Hyunse was still ambiguous. Could he dare to apply the term “lover” to what they were?

Wasn’t it just a relationship where they only mixed bodies?

“…Do you have one?”

His voice had lowered. Which made him think of Woo Hyunse even more. He was staring blankly at the table when he suddenly looked up at Woo Taeju calling him “hyung.” Woo Taeju was looking at him seriously. Kwon Siyul shook his head.

“No.”

They spent nights together and were currently living together. In reality, they had crossed all the rivers they needed to cross. But calling it a relationship felt somewhat lacking. While he easily called Woo Hyunse “hyung,” why did the word “lover” feel as unfamiliar as if he was hearing it for the very first time?

He had never been asked to date, nor had he asked. So the term “lover” shouldn’t be applied yet. Kwon Siyul convinced himself that this was the case and soon accepted it.

“You don’t?”

Woo Taeju’s face couldn’t have brightened more. As if empathizing with a fellow lonely soul.

“I don’t have one either, hyung.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. I don’t. I really don’t.”

Woo Taeju just kept emphasizing. Kwon Siyul calmly brushed it off, thinking he must have been very lonely to have said that.

The café Woo Taeju wanted to go to turned out to be a common franchise café on the street. Here too, they paid with the coupon Woo Taeju had sent. In reality, Kwon Siyul hadn’t spent a penny and had been treated the whole time. He didn’t like it and wanted to buy something, but Woo Taeju invariably stepped in and took out his own wallet.

“Hey, I told you I have a lot of money. I also got an allowance from my cousin hyung.”

“Your cousin gives you an allowance?”

While he knew about getting allowances from parents or older relatives, he had no idea cousins gave allowances too. Seeing Kwon Siyul’s wide-eyed look, Woo Taeju grinned.

“There’s quite an age gap between my hyung and me, and he really adores me. I receive a lot of love like this.”

He added that he knew how to give well too, but Kwon Siyul let it go in one ear and out the other. Even when Woo Taeju boasts, it wasn’t annoying. From what he showed at the bar, he was an unguarded person. Do all people who grow up receiving a lot of love turn out like this way?

“Ah, I think I shot too enthusiastically earlier. My arm feels stiff.”

Woo Taeju, who had settled at a window-side table, rotated his shoulders. Kwon Siyul chuckled softly.

“You were shooting well.”

Before going into the café, they had stopped by an arcade they saw on the way. When Woo Taeju saw the zombie-shooting game, he boasted that he had been good at it while serving in the military. He piled coins on top of the game machine and took a shooting stance.

However, he was no match for Kwon Siyul, who used to dominate local arcades with Kwon Yuwon when bored. Unlike Woo Taeju, who died before even beating the first boss, Kwon Siyul sailed through the game victoriously on his own.

“This is unfair. I just couldn’t show my skills this time. Next time you come over to my place, and I’ll show you properly.”

Woo Taeju clenched his fists and huffed. His face, with lips tightly pursed and eyes wide open, was so comical that Kwon Siyul laughed out loud. Maybe he was laughing out of joy at meeting a younger brother who acted so friendly, something he hadn’t experienced since leaving the orphanage.

Woo Taeju stared blankly at Kwon Siyul’s fresh laughter for a moment. With his usually chattering mouth firmly closed, he stared so intently that Kwon Siyul touched his own cheeks and nose where Woo Taeju’s gaze seemed to be fixed on.

“Is there something on my face?”

“…Ah, no. It’s nothing. No, wait. Now that I look, there seems to be something. There, under your eye.”

He pointed to below Kwon Siyul’s right eye. It was where the tear mole was. As Kwon Siyul was rubbing the wrong places, Woo Taeju soon reached out his hand. His hand was about to touch the mole.

There was a crashing sound from another table. Kwon Siyul turned around, startled. A man and a woman were arguing loudly. Everyone’s attention turned to the sudden shouts and curses.