LM 53

Their roles had been reversed from before. With a mixture of happiness to see him and worry along with disappointment, Kwon Siyul nagged first. Kwon Yuwon’s handsome face was unusually haggard. Unable to shave, his stubble was patchy, and the hair sticking out from under his hat looked greasy. With dark circles under his eyes and a gaunt appearance, one might not even recognize him if they passed him on the street.

“Did you go on some cross-country trek alone? Why have you withered away like this? Were you homeless?”

“I still got many compliments on my looks wherever I went. But more importantly, let’s have a bite to eat first. My stomach is already sticking to my backside.”

The shop owner, who had been watching their embrace, stood up on shaky legs. Hard of hearing, she had to lean in when they tried to order, asking “What?” Kwon Yuwon ordered in a booming voice. With only ramen and tteokbokki on the menu, choosing something wasn’t difficult.

“So, did you have a good trip? You never traveled even before the military. What sudden wind blew you away? You didn’t take a job from Pig, did you?”

“No, really. How many times do I have to say it? Don’t you trust me?”

“This time, I’m a bit suspicious.”

“Trust me. When have I ever done anything to harm you? Even if I had taken a job…I’d never let it affect you.”

“You didn’t take one, right? Right.”

Kwon Siyul asked, narrowing his eyes just like an interrogator. Kwon Yuwon got angry, widening his eyes and complaining about having to repeat himself.

“I said I didn’t! Why are you worrying unnecessarily?”

“Because you’re doing things you’ve never done before.”

“I did manual labor. Manual labor! It was fucking hard. Thought my shoulders would fall off.”

Kwon Yuwon grumbled while pouring water, and Kwon Siyul set out the utensils with familiarity. Their years of living together showed in the seamless way they divided the tasks.

“Tell me everything. Why didn’t you call again?”

“I changed to the cheapest phone plan. It didn’t have much talk time. Didn’t even use texts except to message you.”

That was understandable. Kwon Siyul nodded his head, then frowned slightly. A sweet orange scent brushed his nose. When he inhaled again, he only smelled the spicy tteokbokki and savory ramen.

“Where did you go?”

“All over. Busan, Daegu, Pohang, Incheon, Daejeon.”

“You traveled a lot.”

“Daejeon was nice. The bread was good too. Let’s live there together later someday. Housing is a bit expensive, but we could find cheaper places around the area. Anything would be better than here.”

Kwon Yuwon looked around the snack shop as if surveying the entire city. In the past, Kwon Siyul would have agreed without hesitation, but now the situation was different. There was Woo Hyunse. If they moved to the countryside, wouldn’t he be unable to see that face every day? Even seeing him daily already wasn’t enough—Kwon Siyul worried about being apart from the one he loved.

If Kwon Yuwon heard this, he’d say Kwon Siyul was making a big fuss over nothing. But Kwon Siyul couldn’t objectively judge the state he was in either.

When did Woo Hyunse start occupying such a large part of his life? Love was scary. It was like a swamp, like tar. The moment you step in, you start sinking into its depths, and by the time you come to your senses, you’re already gasping for air.

Kwon Siyul wiped his sweaty forehead and gulped down more water. His throat kept getting dry. Was it because of a fever?

The food arrived. Kwon Yuwon inhaled the ramen first. He quickly finished one bowl and devoured the tteokbokki in no time at all. It was as if he hadn’t eaten properly during his travels—to say he ate like a starving man would be an understatement. Kwon Siyul quickly ordered another bowl of ramen. If he had known Kwon Yuwon would eat this well, he would have invited him to the bar where he worked and fed him lots of delicious food.

The water container was empty before they knew it. Kwon Siyul went to the water purifier to refill it himself. In a moment of distraction, the water rose to the brim, almost to the point of overflowing. He quickly pulled the cup away, but a drop hanging from the spout fell into the cup the next moment. Because of that, the water finally spilled over.

“How have you been while I was gone?”

Only after devouring two bowls of ramen and even mixing rice into the broth did Kwon Yuwon ask about Kwon Siyul’s recent situation. Kwon Siyul had only eaten half of his ramen and kept emptying his water cup. His stomach felt bloated and his head was spinning. He had taken fever reducers before coming here, but they didn’t seem to be effective.

“I’ve been busy working. Oh, and I received a confession.”

“A confession? From who? Which woman? Wow, am I going to eat noodles at your wedding?”

“No, it was a man.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

As expected, Kwon Yuwon cursed. His expression looked as if he had just bitten into a bug.

“How is it that you’re more popular with men than women? Looking at you, I’d think women would chase after you too. Anyway, that must have been tough. A man, ugh, disgusting.”

“Don’t criticize too much. What’s wrong with a person liking another person? It’s not like you can control your heart.”

Those words, which he would have brushed off before, sounded different today. The person he was seeing now was also a man, not a woman. Although Kwon Yuwon wasn’t expressing any disgust upon finding out about this fact, Kwon Siyul’s heart still stung. Perhaps the guilt of hiding the truth from Kwon Yuwon added to it, making his chest actually hurt physically. His stomach seemed to ache too, and his head throbbed with an incoming headache.

A strong orange scent passed by momentarily, and Kwon Yuwon seemed to split in two before merging back into one. With his vision blurring, Kwon Siyul squeezed his eyes shut before opening them wide. The breath that escaped in a long “haah” was scorching hot.

“Other than that, any other news…Hey, why are you sweating so much?”

“Huh?”

Was the food too spicy? Or maybe he was having indigestion. He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. It was drenched in sweat. Even if it was warm inside, it shouldn’t have been enough to cause this much sweat to pour out of his body.

“You…”

Kwon Yuwon looked at him seriously. Then, with eyes as wide as saucers, he leaned his upper body toward Kwon Siyul. He sniffed a few times, then hastily backed away.

“No way, you…”

The orange scent intensified and then faded. Despite eating only a bird’s portion, nausea and chest tightness set in as if he’d overeaten just now. He wanted to get some fresh air. Kwon Siyul said, “Just a moment,” and stood up, steadying himself on the table. His legs wobbled uncontrollably. Above all, his stomach hurt. He covered his lower abdomen with his hand, feeling a squeezing pain there.

“Uh…”

Strangely, his body wouldn’t listen to him. As soon as he took a step, the world tilted, and with a thud, he collapsed to the floor. Unable to grasp what was happening to him, Kwon Siyul merely blinked. The impact with the floor left his body and mouth numb.

Kwon Yuwon shouted something, but it sounded muffled as if coming through a wall. The faint silhouette he could see disappeared at some point. Suddenly, nausea rose, and a deep darkness took over his vision.

Kwon Siyul stirred at the noisy sounds and opened his heavy eyelids. He saw a white ceiling. Following a long, thin line upward, he found an IV drip at the end, yellow liquid dropping steadily.

Not knowing where he was, he simply blinked. That was when Kwon Yuwon suddenly appeared in his view.

“Kwon Siyul! Are you conscious?”

His eyes were red as if he’d been crying. Crying over someone who wasn’t even dead. Seeing tear stains on Kwon Yuwon’s cheeks after so long, Kwon Siyul smiled weakly and tried to sit up, but his vision spun, and he immediately fell back onto the pillow. He thought there was an earthquake, but as it turned out, it was his own body that was the problem.

“Why am I…?”

“Just lie down for now.”

Kwon Yuwon’s expression was utterly dejected. He looked like he was at a funeral. Kwon Siyul noticed the mixed, unfamiliar scents in the air and looked around. It was a hospital emergency room, and there seemed to be a commotion with an urgent patient arriving somewhere in the distance. But it wasn’t the smell of blood or disinfectant.

“Why do you look like that? And why am I here?”

“You collapsed.”

“I remember feeling dizzy…”

Kwon Yuwon bowed his head deeply, then gradually hunched his upper body. He rested his head on the side of Kwon Siyul’s bed and pressed hard on the back of his head with his interlocked hands. He seemed to be putting so much force into it. Kwon Siyul could see that the backs of his hands had turned white.

He moved his lips as if wanting to say something, then bit them, opened and closed them about ten times. His lips had white flakes as if he had been picking at them with his nails, and there were traces of blood on them.

“What is it? Say something.”

“…”

“What? Did they say I have a terminal illness?”

Fearing he might never speak, Kwon Siyul poked Kwon Yuwon’s side first. Kwon Yuwon sighed heavily and then mumbled in a voice so low it was barely audible. When Kwon Siyul couldn’t understand and asked again, he finally raised the volume of his voice.

“…They say you’ve differentiated.”

“What?”

Kwon Yuwon had said something nonsensical. Kwon Siyul didn’t believe it. Him differentiating at his age? Kwon Yuwon often teased Kwon Siyul with such absurd ideas. So, thinking along the lines that it was a joke, he pushed the other man’s shoulder lightly with his fist.

Kwon Yuwon raised his head. There wasn’t even a trace of a smile on his face. His chin and lower lip were trembling.

“As an omega.”

“…”

It wasn’t the face of someone lying. Kwon Siyul prided himself on being able to read Kwon Yuwon’s expressions better than anyone else in the world. He was relaying pure fact, without a hint that he was joking. He said Kwon Siyul had differentiated. And of all things, as an omega, which Kwon Yuwon despised intensely.