TIN 37

Why would he want to sleep in my room when he had a perfectly fine room of his own? It was incomprehensible behavior, but at the same time, a memory came to the surface.

‘I want to sleep here too.’

Was it back when we were staying at the villa? The child who had called me a coward, afraid of the dark, had started coming to my room to sleep together from the next morning onward. They would climb onto the bed, hugging a pillow much bigger than themselves, and make themselves comfortable.

‘Move over a bit.’

“Move over a bit.”

Just like back then, Joo Do-hwa boldly demanded that of me. Even though he was no longer small, he persistently wedged himself onto the bed, taking up the empty space. I reflexively scooted over, and as I watched him pull back the blanket, I couldn’t help but ask.

“Are you really going to sleep here?”

“Is that not allowed?”

It’s not that it’s not allowed, but…

“Why do you insist on it?”

“Since I’m saying I want to, do I really need a reason?”

His response was just as bold. It was as if he had no awareness of barging into someone else’s space. Or maybe it was more like he thought that my thoughts didn’t matter. In fact, this room was ultimately Joo Do-hwa’s, but his response was still quite shameless.

“You’re afraid of the dark, aren’t you, hyung?”

“…”

I almost let out a wry chuckle. So he remembered that. Seemed like he wanted to use that as an excuse, even though he didn’t realize I was the same person as that child. I felt baffled, but as the ‘hyung’ to Joo Do-hwa, I had to respond this way.

“I’m not that afraid anymore.”

I had been sleeping alone in this house for over a month, and I hadn’t had any trouble with the darkness. Unless my condition was poor or the space was excessively cramped, this level of darkness didn’t bother me at all.

Yet, Joo Do-hwa ignored my response and climbed under the blanket. The sudden closeness felt strange, so I couldn’t help but ask again.

“Should I sleep somewhere else?”

“What meaning does that have?”

Then what was the meaning of this? I swallowed the sigh that was rising in my throat and widened the distance between us. Fortunately, the bed was large enough that lying side by side wouldn’t be too burdensome.

“…Bring a pillow.”

The way he was lying on his side didn’t look very comfortable. Should I share a pillow with him? I asked because his posture seemed uncomfortable, but Joo Do-hwa let out a faint, mirthless chuckle after I said that.

“Ah…Like when we were little?”

I understood why he laughed. Probably because he thought I brought up something that reminded him of our childhood when I was still ignorant. So he swallowed the laughter alone and muttered to himself.

“This is a skill too…”

Having no appropriate response, I simply awkwardly turned my head. Even though he had his back to me, I couldn’t bring myself to look at the back of his head.

“Turn off the light and lie down. Sleep.”

Silently, I flicked off the switch next to the bed. The room was plunged into darkness, our surroundings instantly becoming dim. Normally, I would have hesitated, but the presence I felt nearby took away all that tension.

“…”

I glanced at Joo Do-hwa and then awkwardly slipped under the blanket. Joo Do-hwa had turned his back to me and remained still. He was probably not asleep yet, but I had a feeling he would likely start breathing evenly soon.

‘Sleep well, hyung.’

No greeting this time. Well, it definitely had been several years since then…

“Sleep well.”

“…Yeah, you too.”

I reflexively responded to his affectionate greeting, though Joo Do-hwa still didn’t turn to look at me. He merely adjusted his position and went back to trying to sleep.

“…”

What the hell…was he doing?

The sense of unease that suddenly arose soon dissipated. My body was more tired than I thought, and the pheromones emanating from him made my mind and body feel at ease. As soon as I lay down properly, drowsiness rushed in, and I no longer cared either way.

Right, this was probably just a whim for today. Surely he wouldn’t come here every day.

With that, I finally closed my eyes with a more comfortable mind. I couldn’t fully understand him, so it was better to just accept it and let it go. It wasn’t like I couldn’t sleep with him here, since we even used to always sleep together when I was little.

But I soon realized that this was no fleeting whim starting the very next day.

* * *

To my surprise, Joo Do-hwa came to my room again the next night. He didn’t bring a pillow himself, but as I hesitated at the sight of the two pillows that had appeared during my brief absence, he simply climbed onto the bed and demanded that I turn off the light.

By the third night of sleeping side by side, Joo Do-hwa’s attitude toward me had subtly changed. It was as if his guard had lowered, or he was behaving even more affectionately. Before, there was a basic distance, but now all of that seemed to have disappeared.

For example, he would stand close enough for our shoulders to touch, or he would casually brush my hair, or he would fidget with and smooth out my crumpled clothes.

They were minor acts of physical contact, which made the situation even more ambiguous. It was too vague to point out, but it didn’t feel unpleasant enough to tell him to stop.

In fact, when he helped me put on my sneakers the other time, the contact was even more intense. He grabbed my ankle and was fiddling with my Achilles tendon. So why was this minor touching more noticeable to me than that?

‘So don’t get too cocky just because he’s treating you a bit better. If you mess up, you’re screwed.’

But it was hard to say he was “treating me better.” Sometimes he was just like a cat, casually brushing against me as he passed by. The problem was, cats did that as an affectionate gesture, but Joo Do-hwa had no reason to show me affection.

Regardless, the more this went on, the more resolute I became about leaving as soon as possible. And I had already decided on the timing—when Joo Do-hwa went to work during the day. That was when I would make my move. He seemed to be sleeping deeply at night, but one misstep and I could get caught.

“…Huh?”

On the fourth day, I was the only one who woke up on the bed. Just three days of sleeping together, and the empty space next to me felt strangely lonely. Where did Joo Do-hwa go? Sitting there feeling rather dumbfounded, I finished washing myself and headed downstairs for breakfast.

As I descended the stairs, I usually took a moment to admire the sea painting. Someday, I would be able to see that view for real. Just thinking about it made the dried-up hope within me seep back out a little.

I had just two days left before I got to leave this house. I had laid out the rough plan, and all that was left was to put it into action. If there was even a slight chance of success, I was ready to act without hesitation.

“…Are you sure?”

“I can’t say for certain, sir.”

But as I passed the second floor, a familiar voice entered my ears. Normally, I would have ignored it and kept walking, but for some reason, my footsteps wouldn’t budge today. The location was suspicious for a conversation, and their tone was unusually discreet.

“The appearance is similar, but I’m not sure if it’s the same person. The information is that he will be attending the party…”

At first, I thought there were guests, but recognizing Henry’s voice, it seemed they were engaged in an unusually serious conversation.

It probably had nothing to do with me. Just as I was about to turn and continue on, a name pierced my ear.

“…It’s highly likely to be Yoon Ji-soo.”

“…”

Abruptly, I stopped in my tracks. It was as if my ankle had been seized, rendering me unable to move from the spot. My head felt blank, and it was as if my breath had been cut off.

“It would be best to attend…”

As I stood there dumbfounded, Henry awkwardly closed his mouth. The surroundings fell silent, but I didn’t even notice the change, lost in my own thoughts.

How long had I been standing there? Soon, a familiar voice came from right behind me.

“What are you doing here?”

“…!”

It was Joo Do-hwa. Somehow, he knew I was standing here, and he had paused the conversation to find the eavesdropping rat. My heart was pounding, but I tried to act nonchalant as I turned around.

“I heard voices…and the conversation sounded interesting.”

I had no idea if I should be relieved, but Joo Do-hwa’s expression was no different from usual. His drowsy eyes, his dry gaze, his impassive lips—everything the same as always. I asked a random question to hide my flustered state.

“Why did you come down first?”

“Oh.”

He let out a soft exclamation. For some reason, the corners of his mouth curled up slightly.

“Did you wake up because I wasn’t next to you?”

It was a tone like he was comforting a child. That was when I realized my question might have sounded childish. Of course, being caught eavesdropping was no better than that.

“I had something to discuss with Henry. I came down to the dining room first.”

“…I see.”

In that case, I should go down and let them continue their conversation, or at least suggest that. But even knowing that lingering would raise suspicion, my steps wouldn’t budge easily.

“It must be an important conversation if you’re standing here to talk about it.”

I hesitated, glancing at him. Normally, I would have quickly turned my back, but this time, I just couldn’t.

So I glanced up at him and asked, “…Is this something I’m not supposed to hear?”