TIN 38

I thought this might be an overreaction, but he showed no particular response. There was still a faint smile on his lips, and his gaze toward me was no different from usual. His mood even seemed to improve during this time.

“There’s nothing you shouldn’t hear, hyung.”

His voice was as soft as a dream, seemingly pleased about something. He reached out toward me and smoothed out my crumpled sleeve. Then he continued to fiddle with the hem of my clothes.

“You remember the party that’s happening this week, right? I heard that the person I’m looking for will be there.”

“Yoon Ji-soo?”

I asked reflexively, then closed my mouth with a feeling of ‘oops.’ The bright smile on Joo Do-hwa’s face instantly vanished. He tilted his head slightly to one side and looked down at me.

“You know Yoon Ji-soo?”

“…”

My throat felt parched. I shouldn’t have spoken so hastily. In my anxiety, I had opened my mouth first.

“…No.”

“…”

“Never heard of her.”

I managed to answer, but Joo Do-hwa didn’t withdraw his suspicious gaze. Henry, standing behind, was also eyeing me with a dubious look.

“Your aide just mentioned Yoon Ji-soo earlier.”

So to prove my innocence, I pointed my finger at Henry. As if to say I had zero interest in who that person was, but just repeated a name I’d just heard mere moments ago. Joo Do-hwa turned his head following my gesture and nodded his head slowly.

“That’s right, Yoon Ji-soo.”

The moment he looked away, the tension seemed to ease up a bit. As I secretly let out a sigh of relief, Joo Do-hwa was once again smiling brightly.

“It’s fine if you don’t know her.”

Was it just a figment of my imagination, or did his voice sound chilling? The intense gaze directed at me felt the same way.

“She’s the woman my father is looking for.”

I didn’t need to ask why Chairman Joo was looking for that particular person. He pulled his lips into a smile and whispered gently.

“He wants to find her first and kill her.”

“…”

I blinked, closing and opening my eyes. Joo Do-hwa was still there in front of me, looking down with a calm smile. With a face devoid of even a speck of sympathy, he lightly grasped my shoulder.

“It would be nice if she came to the party, don’t you think?”

‘Don’t ever get caught…’

“…”

‘Live.’

A warning I had heard sometime before overlapped with his voice. My stomach churned and my ears felt muffled as if I had tinnitus. I felt like I might faint at any given moment, but I managed to steady myself and stand up straight.

“…I guess so.”

If I’m alive, you should be alive too. The one who shouldn’t get caught isn’t me, but you.

“It would be nice if she came to the party.”

Yoon Ji-soo. That name I had never once forgotten. The person I had wished for my entire life was the person Joo Do-hwa said he would kill.

***

There were things that came to mind whenever I closed my eyes. The blazing sun, the glittering ripples of water, the sound of crashing waves, and the salty smell of water mixed with humid air. In this scenery that was no different from my daily life, there was a familiar embrace that would pick me up suddenly.

‘Were you here all along?’

I remember how warm the body heat that enveloped me was. The fragrant and cozy scent had the ability to calm my unsettled heart. Hair so dark it had a blue tinge tickled my cheek, and blue eyes looked down at me.

‘I’ve been looking for you for a while.’

The smiling face resembled the sunlight, making even the deep blue eyes look like the sea. It was similar to that mysterious color the seawater shows on a clear day without a single cloud in the sky.

‘I told you not to go far alone.’

‘…I didn’t go far. Just ten more steps.’

It was an island that could be circled along its outskirts in half a day. There weren’t many residents, and of course, not a single friend my age. On this quiet and secluded island, the only entertainment was watching the sea.

‘Look at you making excuses like you’re all grown up.’

Despite my plea full of indignation, the woman put on a deliberately stern expression. In truth, I had lost track after counting ten steps, mesmerized by the sunlight on the water. But given they were a child’s steps, her claim of looking for a long time was probably an exaggeration.

‘I wonder who you take after, loving the sea so much.’

The woman asking this probably knew too. That I loved the sea because I took after her. When her unwavering gaze turned toward the horizon, her face would shine as if the whole world was hers and hers alone.

‘Let’s go home now.’

Most of my memories with that person were like this. Sometimes in front of the house, sometimes further away. The journey home with me in her arms as I watched the sea. Or the view of the ebbing tide we’d watch after splashing in the water on an especially warm day.

I wasn’t sure if I loved that her eyes resembled the sea, or if I loved the sea because it resembled her eyes. I only remembered that just looking at them brought peace to my heart, and I sought them out habitually.

Anyway, there were only two people I had ever thought resembled the sea. One was that person I had been looking for.

And the other one was…

“What is it?”

He blinked, closing and opening his eyes. His golden yellow eyes calmly turned toward me.

“Why are you looking at me so pitifully?”

“…Pitifully?”

If the woman’s eyes resembled the sea, Joo Do-hwa’s eyes resembled the sunlight reflected on it. That was why I felt relieved the moment our eyes met when he opened that narrow box. His gaze, reminiscent of a bird of prey at a glance, sparkled in a way that could almost enchant you.

“Stop staring at me like a puppy that needs to poop. If you have something to say, just say it.”

It was our usual morning meal time together. There was no way Joo Do-hwa wouldn’t notice me constantly glancing over at him. If he had finally broken the ice, I, too, had to speak about what was on my mind.

“About that person you mentioned earlier…”

As I cautiously opened my mouth, he shot me an uninterested look. It was as if he had forgotten our entire conversation from this morning and had no idea who I was talking about.

“Yoon Ji-soo.”

“Ah.”

When I had no choice but to mention the name, he nodded his head. It was a half-hearted response, showing not just a lack of sincerity but also overall interest.

“What about Yoon Ji-soo?”

How could he be so calm after talking about killing someone? Knowing it wasn’t just fake bravado, I felt increasingly uneasy as more time passed.

“Why are you trying to kill her?”

At my abrupt question, Joo Do-hwa looked at me directly. He put down the chopsticks he was holding on the table and smirked as if clearly amused about something.

“You’re so clumsy at times like this.”

I knew what he meant by clumsy. I asked despite knowing it would look suspicious because I couldn’t bear to stay silent.

“Let me ask again. Do you know her?”

“…”

Would he show mercy if I said I knew her? He could be oddly merciful in strange ways, but I was certain this wouldn’t be one of those times. He might just conduct an investigation into how I knew her, and deal with me then.

“I don’t know her.”

“Then why?”

“…”

Having no proper response, I just kept my mouth shut. I should have thought of a suitable excuse beforehand, but in my haste, I spoke first. Usually, I would have acted more calmly but I couldn’t when it came to matters related to Yoon Ji-soo.

“You’re acting strange today.”

Joo Do-hwa narrowed his eyes. It seemed like he could tell I was acting suspiciously but couldn’t guess the exact reason why. After scrutinizing my face for a while, he snorted and said, “What? Are you feeling sorry for her?”

His tone suggested it wasn’t a big deal. As if even he thought, This can’t be it.

“Is it that…someone you don’t even know is going to die…”

“…”

“…Don’t tell me you find that pitiful?”

He furrowed his brow as if in disbelief. It was a perfectly reasonable reason, but one he had never considered. Why should I care if someone I didn’t know dies? That was about the extent of his sentiment.

“Well…”

However, instead of denying it, I lowered my eyes. It was the most plausible excuse and perhaps my last chance. Though I didn’t have the confidence to put on a sympathetic expression, I just hoped to appear somewhat hesitant.

Joo Do-hwa let out a soft exclamation, seemingly coming to a conclusion about why I was  reacting this way.

“Ah, you were afraid of blood, weren’t you?”

It’s not the blood I’m afraid of, it’s you. 

Still, it seemed this clumsy act worked to some extent.

The problem was that the solution he proposed was completely different from what I had hoped for.

“I won’t kill her in front of you.”

“…”

What a disgustingly kind thing to say. Is this where I’m supposed to thank him for his consideration?

“…Is there really a reason to kill her that badly?”

“I told you, she’s the person my father is looking for.”

Joo Do-hwa answered calmly, as if he wouldn’t repeat himself again. His composure was so unnerving that I burst out without thinking.

“For just that reason?”

Human lives are just a game to you. I was so tense right now my stomach started hurting. The despair that you might kill that person is greater than the hope of finally finding her.

“Just?”

But Joo Do-hwa immediately retorted coldly. His eyes flashed sharply in my direction.

“My father killed you.”

“…”

“And you say ‘just’?”