TIN 83

For a while, the mansion was bustling with party preparations. Although Joo Do-hwa didn’t do anything special, the number of busy employees running around had increased significantly.

The mansion had more people than usual. It was a busier atmosphere than normal. Even though these changes didn’t directly concern me, I couldn’t help but be wary of the suddenly increased number of unfamiliar faces.

Because of this, I tried not to leave my room during daylight hours. I wasn’t one to wander around much originally, but I even stopped my daily visits to look at the painting. It was too nerve-wracking to crouch in the middle of the corridor to view the painting with employees constantly passing by.

Fortunately, the employees slept at night so that time was mine alone. So, in the early hours when sleep eluded me, I would go to look at the sea in the empty hours, endlessly admiring the horizon until sunrise.

The problem was the uninvited guest who suddenly intruded at this time.

“You’re here again.”

After our first encounter, Joo Do-hwa would come to look at the painting toward the early hours of the morning. Whether by chance or intentionally, he would appear silently behind me and look down at me, asking,  

“Why can’t you sleep?”

I didn’t have the will to suddenly say it was because of him, nor did I have the energy to come up with a proper excuse. So I vaguely answered that I had slept during the day, to which he quietly lowered his eyes and muttered,  

“I just called you a house cat, and now you’re even sleeping during the day.”

“…”

It wasn’t really like that. At Oceans, I used to sleep even later than this.

“Take a walk during the day. You need to see the sun in order to sleep.”

Wasn’t that too sensible a thing to come from his mouth? Furthermore, since the only outing allowed to me was at most to the garden, his suggestion to take a walk felt somewhat deceitful.

“Do you dislike the crowd?”

Perceptively, he seemed to have noticed that I was avoiding the employees. Instead of mocking me like when he asked, ‘Do you dislike adults?’ his attitude of offering a solution struck me as novel.

“I’ll tell them not to be seen by you.”

“No…you don’t have to do that.”

This wasn’t about reversing roles. I didn’t want to go that far with people who were just doing their jobs properly.

“I wasn’t in my room because I disliked it. I just thought me being out and about might interfere with the party preparations.”

Joo Do-hwa didn’t insist further after hearing my hastily added excuse. He just narrowed his eyes as if thinking I was quite fussy. Then he shrugged as if it didn’t matter either way.

“Do as you like.”

After that, there was silence. Instead of leaving when he had no further business there, he stood still in place, staring blankly at the painting. His relaxed gaze looked very bored, but he showed no sign of leaving first.

At first, it was a bit uncomfortable, but later I got used to it. In fact, as long as he wasn’t interfering, I didn’t mind having someone beside me. After all, this mansion was his, so it would be incorrect to call it interference.

“…Your lip is split.”

The silence was broken after quite some time. Still fixing his gaze on the painting, Joo Do-hwa slowly opened his mouth.

“Apply medicine regularly. So it doesn’t get worse.”

Was he bothered by a flaw in his possession? It was an abrupt topic, but I silently touched my lips. The scabbed lips hadn’t been normal for a single day in the past few days.

“If you can’t do it, bring it to me.”

Why not tell Henry to do it? The fleeting question disappeared soon after. It was because of what Joo Do-hwa added next, lightly clicking his tongue.

“Go apply the medicine and sleep quickly.”

With those words, he immediately left. I reflexively turned to look, only to blankly watch him walk away. One step, then another. As I watched his back disappear into the darkness, I suddenly felt a sense of dissonance.

…Why doesn’t he ask for sex?

I realized belatedly. Come to think of it, he hadn’t touched me recently. Without asking me to go to his room or to follow him, he just silently looked at the painting and disappeared.

The change I thought was coincidental continued to repeat itself. The next dawn, when I went to look at the painting as usual, there was a new addition.

“A light…”

A light had been installed above the painting on the wall. The light illuminating the painting stood out in the dark corridor. While I was blinking in surprise at the suddenly changed scenery, Joo Do-hwa came to find me again and took a place right next to me.

“…”

Why would he install a light when he said he had no interest in the sea? Even if he had developed an interest, he could go see the real sea anytime he wanted. Unlike me, who had to be content with this because I couldn’t see it even if I wanted to.

‘“It reminds me of the old days.”

Those words came out of Joo Do-hwa’s mouth, not mine. Old days? Before I could ask, he continued in a languid voice.

“We used to do this when we were young too.”

 “…Ah.”

It was a familiar story. During our stay at the villa, we always used to watch the sea together like this. The only difference was that back then we sat side by side, while now Joo Do-hwa was standing alone.

“You remember too, don’t you?”

His gaze, looking at me as if to confirm, didn’t require much thought. He might say I lacked sincerity, but for me, it was enough to just give the obvious answers.

“I remember.”

“…”

“How could I forget that?”

It was a memory I had never forgotten in my entire life, and sometimes it became the driving force that moved my life. The vast expanse of sea, the time we spent there, the small child by my side, and even the setting sun.

You liked the sea back then too, didn’t you?

I couldn’t bring myself to say those words out loud. I knew it was too specific a sentiment to be an ‘appropriate’ answer. So as I remained silent, Joo Do-hwa continued in a calm tone.

“Then and now, why do you like the sea so much…”

The conversation, unnaturally ordinary, momentarily made me feel as if I had truly returned to the past. Even though the person beside me wasn’t that child from back then, and the one next to him wasn’t the hyung from that time. It felt like we were each seeing the other as the person we wished them to be.

How many days had this routine repeated itself ? I had become somewhat accustomed to viewing the sea alongside him. Me, crouched down, and Joo Do-hwa, standing in place. The sea illuminated by the lights was still breathtakingly beautiful.

What was surprising was that until then, Joo Do-hwa hadn’t laid a finger on me. He didn’t pick unnecessary fights, nor did he say malicious things or treat me like a rag. Occasionally he would stare intently at my face, but all he would ask was something like this, 

“Don’t you get tired of it, hyung? Seeing the same scenery every day.”

“I don’t get tired of it.”

It was just like when I first came to this house. He had just bought me from Oceans and he was truly treating me like I was his “hyung.” Even his gaze as he stared blankly at me felt calm right then, as if he was trying to immerse himself in this childish role-play again.

“This is just like when we were young.”

“…”

What kind of change of heart is this? When did he go from pouncing on me like a dog in heat to suddenly treating me formally as his hyung? Could it be that he’s grown tired of such acts, as he said he didn’t understand the pleasure found in sex?

Well, it was fortunate. If I didn’t have to spread my legs for him, both my body and mind would be much more at ease. The only downside was that I wouldn’t be able to hear about Yoon Ji-soo anymore.

And so, the day of the party arrived. As soon as the afternoon came, the pool located at the back of the mansion was crowded with more people than I had ever seen before. Unlike previous parties, about half of the people in casual attire were in revealing swimsuits. Some were actually in the water, and there wasn’t a trace of formality to be found.

“Director Joo, have you been well?”

“It’s an honor to meet you like this.”

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this day…”

Perhaps because Joo Do-hwa was the host, the party attendees first came to greet him. The difference from before was that instead of the host thanking the guests for coming, the guests were thanking him for inviting them to the party.

“I’m glad to have the chance to meet you in person like this. I was actually planning to contact you…”

“Contact? That’s unnecessary.”

However, despite receiving numerous greetings, Joo Do-hwa didn’t actively engage with them. He merely gave appropriate responses with a subtly observant attitude as if he were watching something mundane like being fish released into a lake.

Perhaps because of this, the crowd that had briefly gathered quickly dispersed. About 30 minutes after the guests had swarmed around him, only I remained by Joo Do-hwa’s side.

“It’s a bit quieter now.”

Joo Do-hwa said in an unimpressed voice as he briefly looked around. Didn’t he say he disliked getting in the water? He was wearing casual clothes instead of a swimsuit like the others. The loose short-sleeved shirt and cotton shorts were similar in design to what I was wearing.

“Is it too noisy for you?”

He asked gently as he bent down to look at my face. As I slowly met his gaze, his slowly blinking eyes narrowed slightly.

“What’s wrong with your face?”

“…”

I couldn’t answer because I knew as well that my expression wasn’t good. It wasn’t because the surroundings were too noisy, or because I was uncomfortable with those greeting him. I just felt strangely unwell.

My physical condition had been off since that morning.

Was this the aftermath of a sleepless night finally catching up? It was hard to pinpoint exactly the reason why I was feeling unwell, but overall I felt out of sorts. I felt cold, or maybe hot. My head was foggy as if I hadn’t fully woken up, yet my senses were on edge as if hypersensitive.